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Bad. My acne is very moderate right now, but why do I look so fucking disgusting? I removed all the pictures from our Easter dinner where I was present... Maybe I should just wear a mask on half of my face, like Phantom of the Opera? It's scarred from the previous cysts, there's this giant red cyst which doesn't shrink or go away, and dozen of dark red spots... It was impossible to look at myself in the pictures and I had no wish to retouch them as I usually do. What's the point in presenting a lie? As soon my acne gets reduced from the bcp and vitamin A + D I'm using now (with really good results so far) I'm going for chemical peals or Fraxel. I just can't live like this anymore, hiding one side of my face...
People, please I beg for you advice how to reduce the side of a giant cyst, with pus clogged beneath, never coming to head! It looks like some mini tumor, I think it's the biggest cyst I've ever had. It's on the lower part of my right cheek, right after the "laughing wrinkle". Hurts when I smile. I warmed it as most of the websites advice, but it increased in size. Tried to ice it but it just got more angry red. I can't look at it anymore, if there is no other way, I'll cut it open myself and release the pus... But this will result in one more scar.... Help me
((((
Hey Pianna,
Have the pores on your body reduced since taking Vitamin a?
I read on here that some people get very smooth skin from it have u noticed that too?
oh and what brand are u taking?
(sorry for asking on here I pm'd you but you didnt reply)
I feel so much better now that my two active spots have gone down and the redness has gone away. Pretty amazed with AHA and using it as a spot treatment.
I used it for the first time last night. It burned, but I kind of liked the burn. I imagined it removing the dead skin cells as I was burning, hehe. 
I haven't tried it as a spot treatment, but for now I'm going to use it every other night on my whole face.
My skin is doing okay at the moment. The forehead breakout is slowly getting less painful but still doesn't look great. I'm at a point now where I can go out with BB cream on and feel/look like a normal person, and I'm thankful for that. I can look people in the eye when I talk to them and I haven't been able to do that in a LONG time. I can check out at the grocery store and be friendly with the cashier...before I would just stare at the ground or mess with my phone as an excuse not to interact...And I always felt pathetic buying all my super healthy food and still looking diseased.
I hope and pray that it continues to get better!
How do you know such things? Can you read their minds? Even then, who cares that they do that anyway? I think that people talk about me too, but that does not stop me from being outgoing, because they are not avoiding me even when they think negative about me.
.
This is what fucks my confidence up too. People very rarely comment on my face or ask me what's wrong directly to me. But I KNOW that even if they're not saying it, they're definitely thinking it. And even probably talk about it with other people when I'm not with them
It is a problem when large groups of people are avoiding you, because then you are being bullied. That is when you have to get out of there and search for new people.
Not many people know this, but I am actually the World's most efficient mind-reader. I could even tell the forum what you're thinking right now, but I won't go into that
Anyway, this week I've been feeling good and confident about myself. I'm on what I like to call a peak, but inevitably it will change soon and I'll be on a downer soon, so gonna enjoy it while it lasts
Why does it go down soon?
Why? I think's it's pretty obvious. I've not been able to sustain a period of being confident about my skin for longer than a few weeks in years. If it starts to look better, I don't get my hopes up because I know it'll soon look horrible.
And would you look at that, it's exactly what just happened. I had a good week with not many problems and I felt good. I said this in tuesday. Thursday night I went to bed feeling good, woke up in the morning, the SAME PROBLEM had returned. Big red patch of itchy skin that covers the whole one side of mouth. Appears for absolutely no reason, and I literally look like I had a disease of some sort. In fact I'm starting to think I do actually have something genuinely wrong with me.
How do you know such things? Can you read their minds? Even then, who cares that they do that anyway? I think that people talk about me too, but that does not stop me from being outgoing, because they are not avoiding me even when they think negative about me.
.
This is what fucks my confidence up too. People very rarely comment on my face or ask me what's wrong directly to me. But I KNOW that even if they're not saying it, they're definitely thinking it. And even probably talk about it with other people when I'm not with them
It is a problem when large groups of people are avoiding you, because then you are being bullied. That is when you have to get out of there and search for new people.
Not many people know this, but I am actually the World's most efficient mind-reader. I could even tell the forum what you're thinking right now, but I won't go into that
Anyway, this week I've been feeling good and confident about myself. I'm on what I like to call a peak, but inevitably it will change soon and I'll be on a downer soon, so gonna enjoy it while it lasts
Why does it go down soon?
Why? I think's it's pretty obvious. I've not been able to sustain a period of being confident about my skin for longer than a few weeks in years. If it starts to look better, I don't get my hopes up because I know it'll soon look horrible.
And would you look at that, it's exactly what just happened. I had a good week with not many problems and I felt good. I said this in tuesday. Thursday night I went to bed feeling good, woke up in the morning, the SAME PROBLEM had returned. Big red patch of itchy skin that covers the whole one side of mouth. Appears for absolutely no reason, and I literally look like I had a disease of some sort. In fact I'm starting to think I do actually have something genuinely wrong with me.
Lets see what the doctor has to say about it.
Being a grown ass man with acne is fucking horrible. Starting to figure out I probably have some psychological disorders as well, a life llike this will eventually self destruct, rebuild, self destruct, rebuild, and repeat until there is no more workers willing to rebuild.
I used it for the first time last night. It burned, but I kind of liked the burn. I imagined it removing the dead skin cells as I was burning, hehe.
I thought the same thing when I first started using AHA! It burned so good. haha I notice when I stop using AHA (I ran out at one point...oopsies) that my skin was flaky and weird. The AHA really does remove dead skin cells.
How I'm feeling about my skin: For some reason, when I got home from work, I washed my makeup off and picked at a couple blackheads that were poking out of my skin. I think this is due to my facial brush I got. My face was a little blotchy, so I threw on some BB cream. I just took a bath, and my clean skin was back to calm, normal, non-blotchy skin. I'm excited that my skin is starting to bounce back quickly. However, I ALWAYS have a little bit of nervousness that I'm only jinxing myself. AAAAH!
Skin isn't doing that great but it's not getting to me that much which is good. I have my mind on other things - stressing over uni for one... which will probably show on my skin in a few days. I also indulged in a coffee yesterday which will probably show on my skin soon too. Having a coffee really is 'indulging' for me now 
It's been so long since I had a coffee - I wish I didn't love it so much because it's annoying to not be able to have it often because I'm sure it causes more breakouts for me... oh well...
Stepping out without make up, haven't done so in a month!
That's a goal of mine
(Not there yet though... too self-conscious of my skin and acne still but I'm working on wearing less (I don't wear a whole lot to begin with) and hopefully my skin starts to clear and I'll start going around without makeup again).
Not too good. And lately I've been trying to stay positive, taking a moment if I need to and then getting on with the rest of my day, but today was just one of those days. Probably didn't help that today was the start of this road trip I had planned with my mom, just the two of us having a girl's weekend, and then this huge freakin bump pops up on my chin FILLED with hard yellow pus.... literally had my head down every where we went 
Update: Doing pretty good. Cheeks remain clear except for one very small blemish that's barely noticeable. Forehead is clear still, and my chin has healed up nicely, all the cysts there have dried up and the marks left behind aren't too bad. I have one pimple on the side of my nose but it's not huge or anything.
I'm going to see Evil Dead tomorrow night with this girl from work, we've been talking for awhile and she seems to be interested in me...but I am nervous as fuck about her seeing my scars in different lighting. She's only seen me at work so far, and the lighting there is really high ceiling light that isn't too bad. It'll be dark when I pick her up and during the car ride, but when we get to the parking lot there are those dome lights that might make my face look monstrous. I hope she doesn't get one look and then want to run for the hills, lol.
I'm just going to try not to think about that and enjoy myself and convey my personality as much as possible to make up for my looks, and I'll hope for the best.
The less acne you have, the more you notice how it devastated and scarred your face...
My face was getting so bizarre looking. Oily as hell in some spots, dry as hell in others. Red in patches like I'd been sun or wind burned. Pimples popping up all over the place. So I haven't gotten any water on it since Thursday night. Sunday morning now and it's looking a lot better. No new spots, no oiliness, no dryness, redness has gone down. I seriously have no idea where the oil goes. It makes no sense, how can it be there then just go away? Going to shower tonight but barely get my face wet while I'm doing it. I'm thinking I'll start showering every other day from now on, and I'm gonna stop splashing and scrubbing at my face with my hands in the shower. Oh yeah, and I also drank beer all weekend, and yesterday had all-you-can-eat sushi for lunch, tons of pizza for dinner, and a liter of Pepsi with rye.
Skin isn't doing that great but it's not getting to me that much which is good. I have my mind on other things - stressing over uni for one... which will probably show on my skin in a few days. I also indulged in a coffee yesterday which will probably show on my skin soon too. Having a coffee really is 'indulging' for me now
It's been so long since I had a coffee - I wish I didn't love it so much because it's annoying to not be able to have it often because I'm sure it causes more breakouts for me... oh well...
It sucks for me too. I definitely 100 percent know that it breaks me out now. But there is some power (emotionally) in being able to know you will likely get a breakout but still have some anyway. I think they key in avoiding a bad breakout is dosage. I seem to break out somewhat no matter how much caffeine I ingest (I seem to get more and more sensitive the less I drink it too) but if I ingest a small enough amount, I'll still get the high and the breakout won't be too severe. Last time, I had 2 espressos and broke out within minutes, and then continued to break out for about 2 days afterward. Amazing how much 2 tiny drinks can fuck up your system, right? Aside from the breakout, those 2 espressos had me JACKED on caffeine, literally awake for like 15 hours afterwards, jittery as hell, completely talking fast, stomach ache from hell, etc. Total overdose. Where as when I had 2 espressos back in the days I drank coffee every morning, it did practically nothing.
So I'm thinking I just need to find "my dose"...maybe 1 weak espresso versus 2 strong ones... There must be a way we can have some caffeine once in a while without overdosing on it. I just need to find that sweet spot with dosing...
Update: Doing pretty good. Cheeks remain clear except for one very small blemish that's barely noticeable. Forehead is clear still, and my chin has healed up nicely, all the cysts there have dried up and the marks left behind aren't too bad. I have one pimple on the side of my nose but it's not huge or anything.
I'm going to see Evil Dead tomorrow night with this girl from work, we've been talking for awhile and she seems to be interested in me...but I am nervous as fuck about her seeing my scars in different lighting. She's only seen me at work so far, and the lighting there is really high ceiling light that isn't too bad. It'll be dark when I pick her up and during the car ride, but when we get to the parking lot there are those dome lights that might make my face look monstrous. I hope she doesn't get one look and then want to run for the hills, lol.
I'm just going to try not to think about that and enjoy myself and convey my personality as much as possible to make up for my looks, and I'll hope for the best.
Yay! I'm happy for you. Scary movies are great for dates. I'm going to see it with my man in a couple hours. I got myself all excited by watching the original again the other day. Hopefully the remake stays pretty true. Oh and by the way, I watched The Tall Man and it was indeed an interesting movie! 
The less acne you have, the more you notice how it devastated and scarred your face...
I know what you mean. I always saw the scars, but I was distracted by the massive, inflamed cysts. But to be honest, I don't even care that much about the scars because I can cover them with makeup. I'm happy to have my active acne be less.
Okay acne update:
The breakout I got from all that caffeine is slowly going down. (Very slowly). I've also been introducing Dan's AHA+ into my regimen and I love it so far. There seems to be some sort of minor purging effect happening. Not acne exactly, but more a bunch of pore plugs working their way out of my skin every morning after I apply the cream at night. I've only used it two nights but so far I feel a difference. The flakes, which were mostly going down on their own anyway, seem to be completely gone now. Skin is smooth. It's also getting tolerance to the acids pretty quickly--the first night I applied the cream I mixed it with my other lotion and it burned the shit out of my face... but last night, I only used a tiny squirt of the regular lotion and most of what I put on was the AHA and it barely burned. So I think I'm going to begin using it straight.
The less acne you have, the more you notice how it devastated and scarred your face...
I know what you mean. I always saw the scars, but I was distracted by the massive, inflamed cysts. But to be honest, I don't even care that much about the scars because I can cover them with makeup. I'm happy to have my active acne be less.
Good for you, cause mine are so deep no make up covers it well...
Skin isn't doing that great but it's not getting to me that much which is good. I have my mind on other things - stressing over uni for one... which will probably show on my skin in a few days. I also indulged in a coffee yesterday which will probably show on my skin soon too. Having a coffee really is 'indulging' for me now
It sucks for me too. I definitely 100 percent know that it breaks me out now. But there is some power (emotionally) in being able to know you will likely get a breakout but still have some anyway. I think they key in avoiding a bad breakout is dosage. I seem to break out somewhat no matter how much caffeine I ingest (I seem to get more and more sensitive the less I drink it too) but if I ingest a small enough amount, I'll still get the high and the breakout won't be too severe. Last time, I had 2 espressos and broke out within minutes, and then continued to break out for about 2 days afterward. Amazing how much 2 tiny drinks can fuck up your system, right? Aside from the breakout, those 2 espressos had me JACKED on caffeine, literally awake for like 15 hours afterwards, jittery as hell, completely talking fast, stomach ache from hell, etc. Total overdose. Where as when I had 2 espressos back in the days I drank coffee every morning, it did practically nothing.
So I'm thinking I just need to find "my dose"...maybe 1 weak espresso versus 2 strong ones... There must be a way we can have some caffeine once in a while without overdosing on it. I just need to find that sweet spot with dosing...
Yeah I think finding the right amount that you can drink is a good idea. I didn't drink the full mug that I filled with coffee and I haven't noticed as much as a breakout as I have before when I've had caffeine... I was so sure that it broke me out - which is why I cut caffeine out in all forms including different teas that I liked to drink. But now I'm thinking it's the amount of caffeine you ingest rather than just caffeine. If you drink tea - do you know if you can handle the amount of caffeine in green tea? I think I'll experiment with drinking it again at some point and see how my skin reacts...
Yeah I think finding the right amount that you can drink is a good idea. I didn't drink the full mug that I filled with coffee and I haven't noticed as much as a breakout as I have before when I've had caffeine... I was so sure that it broke me out - which is why I cut caffeine out in all forms including different teas that I liked to drink. But now I'm thinking it's the amount of caffeine you ingest rather than just caffeine. If you drink tea - do you know if you can handle the amount of caffeine in green tea? I think I'll experiment with drinking it again at some point and see how my skin reacts...
I'm not 100 percent sure, but it seems green tea breaks me out too. Not drastic, sudden cysts like coffee does. But if I have a cup of green tea, my stomach doesn't feel too hot and my skin will get more red/irritated. I think I might have given myself some sort of extreme sensitivity after all my years of drastically abusing caffeine (at one point I was drinking 3 POTS of coffee a day and barely sleeping at all) and then long periods of fasting or drastically restricting my diet, avoiding caffeine, and then within a week's time I'd be drinking massive amounts again. My body was probably wondering what the hell was going on.
Today was a great day. I dressed cute, had my makeup perfect and my dreads all wild... I went out and didn't care that people looked at me because my face finally looks like a normal person again! 
Being able to strut around with confidence after so long spent in hiding and all disordered in my head was the most amazing feeling. I'm truly thankful for Dan's regimen and products. I have a long way to go but as long as this stuff keeps working for me, the dark marks should fade and my skin will be looking better in no time.