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Haha a couple of supermarket checkout staff have been picking on me recently. I was already agitated yesterday when I went to the supermarket - I had just got a blemish on my cheek - so I went to the self service checkouts because I didnt want to talk. Regardless one of them had the cheek to shadow me and start a conv about death, dying young, finishing their shift early etc. I was in such a mood yesterday that anything would have annoyed me, even when they said thank you it bothered me, I do see the funny side but I was still like grr.
Today Im feeling more proactive.
Sort of mixed emotions today.
I had a pretty good day catching up with a friend who had been overseas and another uni friend. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful their skin is though. I tried not to focus on it though, to push those thoughts away and keep having a good time - which worked for the most part. I'm really going to work on not comparing myself to others so much. I don't know why I do it. I guess I've always been critical of myself and I'm so tired of constant acne.
I also started taking the'skin purify' supplements I bought a few days ago (a mix of burdock, milk thistle, zinc, copper, selenium and vitamins E, C and B6) yesterday. I wasn't sure about taking them because my right cheek had cleared of acne and stayed that way for 3 or 4 days - which is pretty much unheard of for me unless I was taking antibiotics or something. But it started to break out again recently so I decided to give the supplements a go anyway.
Started taking L-Methionine again. Couple new pimples, redness in my cheeks, feeling like I'm flushing/blushing more easily. No more L-M! lol.
I feel like the less pills I take, the better off I am... maybe I should cut it down to nothing. Or at least just the melatonin. Sleep is nice. I mean, I take a lot of Vitamin C and B5, but they're water soluble. Maybe I should drop the L-Carnitine, and not take the L-Cysteine when it arrives. And drop the D as well. Thoughts?
New papule under the right side of my jaw. Big whoop. Some whiteheads, one papule on forehead that isn't inflamed anymore. That's pretty much it. Could be worse, and it HAS been worse, so I'm not really complaining.
Started taking L-Methionine again. Couple new pimples, redness in my cheeks, feeling like I'm flushing/blushing more easily. No more L-M! lol.
I feel like the less pills I take, the better off I am... maybe I should cut it down to nothing. Or at least just the melatonin. Sleep is nice. I mean, I take a lot of Vitamin C and B5, but they're water soluble. Maybe I should drop the L-Carnitine, and not take the L-Cysteine when it arrives. And drop the D as well. Thoughts?
I wouldn't drop the D. It's one of the most important vitamins. I can tell you though that I've never had any luck taking any free form amino acids like L-Carnitine or Cysteine or any other one either, including L-glutamine (and they say that's supposed to help heal your gut!). They all have always made me break out and irritated my system. I think it's better to get that stuff from food.
I agree. Vitamin D is very beneficial. It's decreased my oil production by quite a lot.
I'm having one of those days. You know the one - you go to bed late after arguing with your partner, wake up to blood shot eyes and bumpy skin, late for Uni so you have to rush through your routine and hurry out of the door. I know it's just the stress but I've got the vast urge to pick my skin again. My marks look swollen and horrible to me today, even though logically I know they probably haven't changed since yesterday.
Tell you what though, I've started taking Multibionta supplements and boy do they give me energy! Even though I'm a bit under the weather right now - headache, sore throat, all that goodness - I don't have the usual lethargy that goes with it. My body just soaks up probiotics and vitamins.
I'm feeling bad. I broke out really badly again and am in a lot of pain. I'm having difficulty even opening my mouth to eat breakfast this morning.
Really feel for you! I woke up to my face feeling like it was so dry it could fall off. Luckily I have the day off or else I'd be feeling alot worse
Anyways, I did more EFT therapy today and now I feel okay. Not great, but okay. My skin actually doesn't look that bad, weirdly enough. It just hurts. There are a lot of spots deep under the skin that hurt but aren't visible. I have a couple visible ones.
I think I forgot to mention that I'm starting the process of doing chemical peels to help my skin. I got the 50% lactic acid one. I left it on for too short a time I think (did it on Sunday) and it didn't turn red or peel or anything. But now a few days later my skin really is looking pretty nice. So I'm excited to do another one this weekend. I'll leave it on for a minute longer and see what happens.
Also *drumroll* I ate greek yogurt today. Not organic goats milk kefir, but legit, from a cow greek yogurt. Woo hoO! Die eating disorder! Die!
Having a severe anxiety/panic attack today. I feel physically sick, all I want to do is cry and I can't shake the panic / heart racing feeling. Can't relax and just calm down. And it's all over possibly starting a new job. The process for getting it has been really weird and fast so that's probably adding to it - as well as me probably remembering the last job I had which I quit due to clashes with my uni timetable/work load and that it brought on these same anxiety/panic attacks that I'm having now. Before that job I'd never had anxiety so badly. I really think I should go see a psychologist for this and insecurities about my skin. It's possible the two tie together. But the idea of speaking to someone about it scares me. It also scares me because part of me knows how irrational, exaggerated and ridiculous it is to have this anxiety/panic reaction and be so insecure about my skin, but I still can't stop myself from feeling/thinking this way. I feel like a freak in a way.
I hope I find someway to keep it together for job training tomorrow... I really want to just call and say it's not going to work out and just forget about it - but reality is I do need a job... just need to find a way to calm down, stop being on the verge of tears all the time, stop this whole panic/anxiety.
My skin's been oily again for the past week or two. And I've been getting pimples again. So confused. My L-cysteine came today, picking it up tomorrow. Fingers crossed! Also, I realized when I was at my parents' house for a week or two over the holidays, I was taking Apo-cetirizine (anti-histamine) for my allergies. I'm thinking that could have something to do with why my skin was so nice then. Going to try that again. Only 7 pills left right now though.
Having a severe anxiety/panic attack today. I feel physically sick, all I want to do is cry and I can't shake the panic / heart racing feeling. Can't relax and just calm down. And it's all over possibly starting a new job. The process for getting it has been really weird and fast so that's probably adding to it - as well as me probably remembering the last job I had which I quit due to clashes with my uni timetable/work load and that it brought on these same anxiety/panic attacks that I'm having now. Before that job I'd never had anxiety so badly. I really think I should go see a psychologist for this and insecurities about my skin. It's possible the two tie together. But the idea of speaking to someone about it scares me. It also scares me because part of me knows how irrational, exaggerated and ridiculous it is to have this anxiety/panic reaction and be so insecure about my skin, but I still can't stop myself from feeling/thinking this way. I feel like a freak in a way.
I hope I find someway to keep it together for job training tomorrow... I really want to just call and say it's not going to work out and just forget about it - but reality is I do need a job... just need to find a way to calm down, stop being on the verge of tears all the time, stop this whole panic/anxiety.
I totally understand. Jobs are a NIGHTMARE for me. I've had so many issues with mental health and jobs it's not even funny. It's why I started the path to working from home last year...
Just curious--what's the job?
I've started applying for a CNA job, but I need a haircut since I wil working with elderly. I was told I won't get hired with a messy hair. It is all messy. What is keeping me from getting a haircut are my acne scars.. They willl be so visible if i cut my hair.. Maybe I should cut it a bit.. not too short ;\
First you get pimples, bad ones.. and then scars. Some of my scars are still dark red .. they take so long to vanish.
Like SHIT ! I feel like hibernating . Running away.
Last night I burned my skin with 40% glycolic acid and now my face is in pain
Extremely upset at my idiotic move last night and feeling extremely Melancholy !
Like SHIT ! I feel like hibernating . Running away.
Last night I burned my skin with 40% glycolic acid and now my face is in pain
Extremely upset at my idiotic move last night and feeling extremely Melancholy !
Put some aloe vera with honey. Drink vegetable juice and increase ur zinc/vitamin A. If it doesn't work then go to a doctor asap.
Ouch! I just started chemical peels and I'm so nervous about leaving it on too long and having that happen to me.
I'm feeling pretty bad today. Not really about my skin. What's weird/fucked up is that now that I'm trying to be in recovery from my eating issues, it's like I lost my crutch/escape and I have all this anxiety. It isn't even anxiety about my skin! It's just...anxiety. About everything. Like my disordered eating was completely occupying this huge area of my mind and now that area is just bouncing off the walls and confused and I feel nervous and upset about everything. Everything makes me overwhelmed. Having laundry to do. Having stuff to clean up around the house. Work. My family. Everything.
I feel like I started eating normal and then lost my ability to function. This is all really confusing. Maybe I'm more messed up than I even realized.
A stupid hairdresser dared to make a comment about my scars today. She said that it's not pretty for a girl to have a skin "like a surface of the moon", probably, just being ignorant rather than wanting to insult. I paid for her service though at first I wanted not to, but I told her that she should keep her mouth shut and not make such comments.
So today I decided not that I'm not getting Fraxel. Up to who is to decide what's "pretty for a girl" and what's not? F**k the beauty standards, I'll wear my scars because I'm ok with them. Besides Fraxel costs a fortune and it's not worth it.
I am addicted to Dad's Oatmeal Cookies. I ate an entire box yesterday when I got home from school. And half of one already today.
I totally understand. Jobs are a NIGHTMARE for me. I've had so many issues with mental health and jobs it's not even funny. It's why I started the path to working from home last year...
Just curious--what's the job?
It does help to know im not alone in feeling like this. The anxiety/panic etc is such a horrible feeling - and so draining too.
The old job was at a call centre and was so horrible. The new job is at a post office. Sorting mail etc before the store opens then serving customers once it opens. The sorting bit would be fine once i get the hang of it (more complicated than it sounds) but serving people worries me more mainly for the cash handling which im not used to and me worrying about people seeing my skin. The job might not work out because of uni timetable again. Which would be both frustrating and a relief to me. I'd rather be able to work from home too.
I somehow managed to lessen the severe panic/anxiety i was having to a more normal reaction of just being nervous. I have to go back Monday for more training and it's hard to keep from worrying about it... Hopefully I don't fall back into another severe attack like the other day
(And to top off all the anxiety panic and worry - i had to call an ambulance for my dad the other night. Thankfully everything seems ok now but it hasn't been the best week mentally/emotionally).
@deja -- have you ever spoken to someone professional/ a counsellor etc about any anxiety /mental issues etc? If so did it help at all? For years I've tried to mange all this sort of thing myself but i think im at the point where i think professional help would be good, even though it scares me a little...