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cj83

Back out of Hell?!? - Yes I'm back ;-)

hi everybody,

as some of you know I´m the german guy who never have heard anything about english grammar or tenses. :rolleyes:

I thought yesterday if I should start my own log. Sure I'm on day 81 of my treatment but maybe there' re people out there which are interested how my journey will go on.

First of all some personal information and history.

My name is cj, I'm 23 years old and I'm a student. I live in Western Germany about 150-200 kilometres away from the netherlands.

I decided to write down what happened the last 3 months. I'm taking 20mg accutane (isotretinoin-isis) since 02.02.06.

week 1-4:

Ms skin especially the lips became very dry but I thought there was a bit improvement. The red marks fade away. And my skin looks much more clear then before. I felt ok a few weeks.

week 4-8:

I got a terrible IB, I looked worse then ever before. I got some cysts at my right cheek and a few zits all over the face. I also got noseblooding almost every morning and I felt tired all day. My skin became more oily these weeks. And my back of the hands begun to itch cause they were very dry.

week 8-today

The IB heals slowly. I got some new zits over the last week. And now a can see that the IB left me a nice ice-pick scar at my right cheek. Thanks buddy. :cry: My lips and my skin are ok these days. But I'm still tired all day. I almost have some noseblooding but not as often as in the beginning.

In summary my skin looks today like it looked 80 days ago. I'm disapointed and despressed. My skin looks like crap. Almost every zit left me a red mark and every cysts a scar. I hate these red marks.

I have to say I admire people like jarrec or Tgirl they get stronger every day, they've this positive attitude. I feel like getting weaker every day. I'm sick of acne, I've enough. I know I've to be patient and that tan needs time but I don't know what to do if my treatment doesn't work. Acne ruined my life. It changed me. I got more thougtfully over the last years. for example: I can't stop thinking about what people will think about me while they will read this log. That's sick. I'm also unable to find new friends or even talk to new people. Once I was a fun-loving guy now I'm uncommunicative. My skin reflects my innermost. I forgot how it's to enjoy your life or even feel good in my skin.

Sad but true acne rules my life.

All the Best for all of you. Have a nice sunday ;)

**Currently listening to Jose Gonzalez - heartbeats**

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Awr, I hope you feel better! :( Makes me sad how much shit people have to deal with... Bah.

Though have you considered upping your dosage? I've heard that most people start at 20mg and increase after a while...

oh and btw, I thought you were an english speaker until I looked up to see that you said you were german rofl.

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Hi Cjjj..

Considering you have never heard about English grammar or tenses.. your English is greatt... :)

I am honest..

Hey I learn German in my high school last time.. but I only remember a few words

Wie gehts

Ich hei3se Corrine..

Ich wohne in Singapore..

haha.. seems I have to improve my German..

I started with 20 mg as well..

I also got a very HORRRRIIBLLLLE breakout that you can never imagine..

I usually only have 1 or 2 cysts at one time.. but noww... gee.. I am the worse ever.. I am getting this big red painfull pimples all at one time and I have almost passed my 2 1/2 months..

Gee so discouraging..

But don't worry I heard things will get better..

(Easier said than done :lol:).

Well.. you are still a fun-loving guy ok... Acne might change your appearance but not your inner being :).

Be strong and you are not alone..

We are all together in this stupid journey.. :comfort:

Gee.. I hope you'll feel better..

HUGSS...

Corrine

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yea your english is pretty great! Good Luck and I'm sure things will start to look up with you soon, dont forget it takes months for some people to see any results! :)

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In summary my skin looks today like it looked 80 days ago. I'm disapointed and despressed. My skin looks like crap. Almost every zit left me a red mark and every cysts a scar. I hate these red marks.

I have to say I admire people like jarrec or Tgirl they get stronger every day, they've this positive attitude. I feel like getting weaker every day. I'm sick of acne, I've enough. I know I've to be patient and that tan needs time but I don't know what to do if my treatment doesn't work. Acne ruined my life. It changed me. I got more thougtfully over the last years. for example: I can't stop thinking about what people will think about me while they will read this log. That's sick. I'm also unable to find new friends or even talk to new people. Once I was a fun-loving guy now I'm uncommunicative. My skin reflects my innermost. I forgot how it's to enjoy your life or even feel good in my skin.

I'm sorry to hear your having a tough time but HAPPY to hear you found this site and have started your own log. The people here a wonderful and oh so helpful!! :wub: I'm only on day 12 myself so I can't speak from personal experience, however, from what I've read here, and I read alot, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Having said that, if you feel like your back where you started from, it sounds like you are on your way to clear skin. Give me a PM if you like and good luck to you. I'll be reading your log. :P

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week 8-today

The IB heals slowly. I got some new zits over the last week. And now a can see that the IB left me a nice ice-pick scar at my right cheek. Thanks buddy. :cry: My lips and my skin are ok these days. But I'm still tired all day. I almost have some noseblooding but not as often as in the beginning.

Hi cj,

As I take a look at the history of your regimen, I can't say that the medicine doesn't work. You had a strong IB - sure - but you had comedones under your skin, so they would've broken out sooner or later. Maybe my friend you now have to go through it just to get better and clearer in the future!

Ask your derm if you should increase your dosage.

Thanks for good words about me, I hope I can maintain this positive attitude. Sometimes I'm also depressed, and as I said it's only my faith that lifts me up! But there's one thing I'm sure of: acne is not the main problem as I know (also on this forum) a lot of people who have deep scars or big cysts and they're still happy and also we can meet people with absolutely clear skin who have a very, very low self-esteem! Maybe it's not much relief for you, but think of it and hold your head up!

Alles gute!

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week 4-8:

I got a terrible IB, I looked worse then ever before. I got some cysts at my right cheek and a few zits all over the face. I also got noseblooding almost every morning and I felt tired all day. My skin became more oily these weeks. And my back of the hands begun to itch cause they were very dry.

good to know that im not only one who had IB not at exact beginning. i think i just passed it (hopefully).

good luck bro !

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Hi cj,

Your English is wonderful!! I hope you get everything out of accutane that you are hoping for! I am glad you decided to post logs, its always nice hearing someone elses story! Keep on posting, and have a great day!

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Guest Kaelynd

That kindof saddens me that you got your IB on week 4. I was hoping mine would be done and over with by that point if i got one, because I'm going away on vacation on my one month mark of being on Accutane. Just a question, did you gets cysts before going on Accutane or only from the IB of accutane. Just because I've never gotten a cyst but I'm scared that the IB from accutane may give me some.

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aww i just read your log and please feel better! :( i know, acne is so frustrating! but cheer up, you're only on day 80 and accutane takes time. please feel better!!! i'm sure you will get clear!! keep us updated!

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Thanks everybody you're all great. I'm moved to tears.

englishmuppet: Thanks for your nice words. What you said about increasing my dosage. You're right I thought about this a few times. I'll ask my derm at my next appoitment. I'll visit your log soon to look how your improvement will go on.

corrine: Thanks for your compliments about my english. I ever thought it's not as good as it should be. Thanks. You said you learned german at school? I'm a little bit surprised. I didn't know that pupils/students in singapure learn german. Did you have had german lessons at college? btw your german sentences you wrote down are absolutly right. Cant't find any faults ;)

Janiet53: You're right sometimes it took months to see results. I know, I've to be patient and hold my head up. Thanks for your words.

jules: You're absoultly right. This forum is awesome. I've met wonderful people here. I'm glad that I found this forum and that I decide to post my own log. I took me some break-through. An while I'm writing these lines I don't know why. Btw what do you think about the album we spoke about yesterday?(Gavin DeGraw - chariot) It's great isn't it. I love this kind of music! :wub: Wish you all the best.

jarrec: Ones again you're right my friend. I've to hold my head up and continue fighting. Thanks for reading my log. Keep it up buddy.

mental: Thanks. Good luck for you too! Maybe the IB came later cause of the low dosage I'm taking.

Who knows! Hope your improvement will go on fine.

trenem: Thanks for your nice words and the compliments about my english. Feels good. :D You're right I have read many logs over the last days and I have to say I feel good that I'm not alone. There is so much support members giving each others here. That's great.

Kaelynd: Yes I got cysts pre-accutane. Some lasted several weeks. But they don't left this unlovely ice-pick scars, only red marks. I think the point is that accutane delays the healing of our skin. So it's important to take much more care about the skin. But it's also possible that you won't even get an IB. There're patients I know about which don't got one all the time. Wish you all the best.

Lvig: Yes it needs time you're right. I've to keep up. Thanks for visiting my log and for leaving some nice words.

So people, today it's the last day of my easter-break from university. And I've thousands things to manage, cause I did nothing for university the last week. From tommorow everything goes on its normal way. I wish all of you a great start for the new week. Normally I don't like mondays but for tommorow I'll make a exception. I've to think more positive. Thanks for all of your nice comments they gave me so much new hope. And I thought nobody would be interested what I've to say.

Currently listening to **Gavin deGraw - belief**

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Thanks everybody you're all great. I'm moved to tears.

englishmuppet: Thanks for your nice words. What you said about increasing my dosage. You're right I thought about this a few times. I'll ask my derm at my next appoitment. I'll visit your log soon to look how your improvement will go on.

:) Ty, aber ich habe jetzt angefang? lol. I have only just started, so there's no point. lol (i'm an AS level german student lol, I should be quite good but I'm crappy lol.)

And you should think more positive! I'm getting bogged down with work, but I'm trying to concentrate on the fact that summer is coming (though i won't be allowed out in the sun! lol.) and it'll be warm! lol. If you have a positive outlook then more positive things will happen! hopefully. lol.

Hope it gets better

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Hi there CJ! Thanks for your sweet words about me and for reading my log... I am glad I could be SOME sort of inspiration to you! And I know what you mean about being self-conscious of what people think of your log! I did that too at the beginning, but overall I think it's worked out fine :)

Your english is very lovely, I enjoyed reading it very much! So no worries about your language skills!

I DEFINITELY know what you mean about being sick of acne. Acne and Accutane combined together to completely ruin my semester, and I don't even know if I am going to get into med school now since I am going to do so poorly in most of my classes. It is quite disconcerting!

Please keep your chin up! We are about the same amount through our treatments which means we will clear up at the same time which is wonderful :wub: Don't worry about your acne! Have fun and smile and BE HAPPY cause that's the most important thing in the world!

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:) Ty, aber ich habe jetzt angefang? lol. I have only just started, so there's no point. lol (i'm an AS level german student lol, I should be quite good but I'm crappy lol.)

And you should think more positive! [..]

If you have a positive outlook then more positive things will happen! hopefully. lol.

Hope it gets better

You're right englishmuppet. I've to become more positive but its hard I feel like captured in my skin. That's sad. :cry: btw what stands AS for? I don't know.

Hi there CJ! Thanks for your sweet words about me and for reading my log... I am glad I could be SOME sort of inspiration to you! And I know what you mean about being self-conscious of what people think of your log! I did that too at the beginning, but overall I think it's worked out fine :)

Your english is very lovely, I enjoyed reading it very much! So no worries about your language skills!

I DEFINITELY know what you mean about being sick of acne. Acne and Accutane combined together to completely ruin my semester, and I don't even know if I am going to get into med school now since I am going to do so poorly in most of my classes. It is quite disconcerting!

Great, the popular tgirl posted in my log. awesome :dance:

I'm sorry that you had a bad semester, but I know it's so hard to stay focused on the daily work. I also snafued some classes last semester. I was unable to motivate myself. That's a real shame. I've to change this otherwise I'll cause me some problems. But I will try. ;)

Please keep your chin up! We are about the same amount through our treatments which means we will clear up at the same time which is wonderful :wub: Don't worry about your acne! Have fun and smile and BE HAPPY cause that's the most important thing in the world!

Thanks for your nice words. You're right I know that I've to think more positive. But how could I' ve fun or even smile if I feel bad. People often tell my I look sad and tired although I don't feel like that this day. That's strange.

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Hi cj..

Thanks for the compliment about my german..

I learn german when I was in high school only for one year :).

By the way that's the only thing I can remember ^_^..

Do you know something.. I am in my 10 weeks and still breaking out horribly with painful cysts..

Feels like crying sometimes.. but I just hang on..

Yeah you get to meet lots of wonderful people that makes you hang on here..

The encouragement will helps you through..

All the best.

Tschüss cjj... Schönen Tag noch!

Corrine

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Hi cj..

Do you know something.. I am in my 10 weeks and still breaking out horribly with painful cysts..

Feels like crying sometimes.. but I just hang on..

Yeah you get to meet lots of wonderful people that makes you hang on here..

The encouragement will helps you through..

All the best.

Tschüss cjj... Schönen Tag noch!

Corrine

I'm sorry to hear that you still geting breakouts. Makes me sad. :( Hope it'll be better soon. I left you some lines at your log. btw your german sounds sweet. :wub:

day 82

Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 45 days to go

I think today was one of these better days. I felt ok. So there 're two new zits at my left cheek, one zit at my left eyebrow and one at my right. They're almost synchronus that's looking a bit funny. But they only arrived, hopefully they won't get bigger the next days. Thanks god there are no new cysts today and the one at my right cheek continues healing. Unfortunately there're many red marks. Hope they'll fade away soon.

So today it was my first day of university after my easter-break. It was cool to meet some of my student-colleagues today and the lectures were quite interesting I think. I learned some XML at my web-enginnering course and some stuff about business-process-management. Oh well I've to tell you another pretty lucky story which happend today. So here we go: It happend at my strategic-management-course. Well one of the students sitting at the first row of the auditorium was sleeping all lesson long, let It be 2 hours. So there were round about 200 people sitting in that room. And at the end of the lesson, the student was still sleeping. The professor said: Hey everybody please be quiet while leaving the room your colleagues here sitting at the first row slept all lesson long, so please be quiet we should not wake him up he seems to be very tired. Most of the students begun to grin. The next moment everybody stood up to leave the room. And at this moment they guy woke up. And everybody begun laughing. :lol: The guy had not idea why, he looked very confused. That was hilarious :lol: , I don't know when I laughed liked this the last time. I've to say it felt good. I should laugh more often. :lol:

Anyway I've to prepare some stuff for tommorow. So all the best for all of you. You're all great :wub:

cj

Currently listening to **Jose Gonzalez - heartbeats**

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day 82

Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 45 days to go

im counting too. my friend wanted to go to WC, but he doesnt have tickets :/ i would go with him, just to watch im pubs lol, sure Germany in this days will be much in white-red colors :D

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Hi cj..

Do you know something.. I am in my 10 weeks and still breaking out horribly with painful cysts..

Feels like crying sometimes.. but I just hang on..

Yeah you get to meet lots of wonderful people that makes you hang on here..

The encouragement will helps you through..

All the best.

Tschüss cjj... Schönen Tag noch!

Corrine

I'm sorry to hear that you still geting breakouts. Makes me sad. :( Hope it'll be better soon. I left you some lines at your log. btw your german sounds sweat. :wub:

day 82

Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 45 days to go

I think today was one of these better days. I felt ok. So there 're two new zits at my left cheek, one zit at my left eyebrow and one at my right. They're almost synchronus that's looking a bit funny. But they only arrived, hopefully they won't get bigger the next days. Thanks god there are no new cysts today and the one at my right cheek continues healing. Unfortunately there're many red marks. Hope they'll fade away soon.

So today it was my first day of university after my easter-break. It was cool to meet some of my student-colleagues today and the lectures were quite interesting I think. I learned some XML at my web-enginnering course and some stuff about business-process-management. Oh well I've to tell you another pretty lucky story which happend today. So here we go: It happend at my strategic-management-course. Well one of the students sitting at the first row of the auditorium was sleeping all lesson long, let It be 2 hours. So there were round about 200 people sitting in that room. And at the end of the lesson, the student was still sleeping. The professor said: Hey everybody please be quiet while leaving the room your colleagues here sitting at the first row slept all lesson long, so please be quiet we should not wake him up he seems to be very tired. Most of the students begun to grin. The next moment everybody stood up to leave the room. And at this moment they guy woke up. And everybody begun laughing. :lol: The guy had not idea why, he looked very confused. That was hilarious :lol: , I don't know when I laughed liked this the last time. I've to say it felt good. I should laugh more often. :lol:

Anyway I've to prepare some stuff for tommorow. So all the best for all of you. You're all great :wub:

cj

Currently listening to **Jose Gonzalez - heartbeats**

Haha lol, it would have been funny if he had stayed there for a little while after everybody had gone lol.

I like that Jose Gonzalez song lol... Hopefully those breakouts will get less and less :S

Praying for all of us lol :)

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Hey there! I'm 23 also, and I started accutane just one day before you! Wierd hey? I live in Canada, but I also took a small, once a week german class, the only thing I remember is Ich habe ein kopfshmertzen. :doh: I don't even know if I spelled that correctly.

Anyway, I'm still having breakouts quite often and have a lot of red marks left over from all those breakouts but I had someone whos done accutane come by my log and tell me they were still breaking out in month 3 but it got better. So I'm hoping for the same.

I defenitely think its a good idea to up your dosage too, I'm on 40mg and I'm gonna beg for at least 60mg on my next appt.

Have a wonderful day/evening/morning! :wacko:

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So today it was my first day of university after my easter-break. It was cool to meet some of my student-colleagues today and the lectures were quite interesting I think. I learned some XML at my web-enginnering course and some stuff about business-process-management. Oh well I've to tell you another pretty lucky story which happend today. So here we go: It happend at my strategic-management-course. Well one of the students sitting at the first row of the auditorium was sleeping all lesson long, let It be 2 hours. So there were round about 200 people sitting in that room. And at the end of the lesson, the student was still sleeping. The professor said: Hey everybody please be quiet while leaving the room your colleagues here sitting at the first row slept all lesson long, so please be quiet we should not wake him up he seems to be very tired. Most of the students begun to grin. The next moment everybody stood up to leave the room. And at this moment they guy woke up. And everybody begun laughing. :lol: The guy had not idea why, he looked very confused. That was hilarious :lol: , I don't know when I laughed liked this the last time. I've to say it felt good. I should laugh more often. :lol:

Currently listening to **Jose Gonzalez - heartbeats**

There isn't anything like laughing so hard your stomach hurts. I love to laugh like that!! It's the best!! :lol: :lol: Besides, it's good for you!

I actually downloaded Gavin's CD today. I enjoyed it very much. Have you every listened to James Blunt?? His sound is similiar.

Currently listening to **Hoobastank - The Reason**

Have a great night ----- Julia

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i'm glad to hear you're feeling better! :D see..its getting better! you just need time! i laughed at your story lol..thanks for sharing.

yay for World Cup!!! i love soccer & played for years!!

keep us updated!

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Hi cj..

your story rocks.. hahah.

That is just sooo funny :D.

They said laugh is a good medicine.. gee that works sometimes.

I also studied XML last time.. what course are you taking?

Good luckk.

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Hey there! I'm 23 also, and I started accutane just one day before you! Wierd hey?

Anyway, I'm still having breakouts quite often and have a lot of red marks left over from all those breakouts but I had someone whos done accutane come by my log and tell me they were still breaking out in month 3 but it got better. So I'm hoping for the same.

I defenitely think its a good idea to up your dosage too, I'm on 40mg and I'm gonna beg for at least 60mg on my next appt.

Have a wonderful day/evening/morning! :wacko:

Hi RainyDayAndrea,

I'm sad to hear that you still get some breakouts :cry: although you're at the 3 month but one thing I learned since I found this forum is that it'll be better. You're absolutly right with this too. It will be better! There were so many wonderful people posting in my log the last days telling me to keep my chin up! I'm really grateful for that. They gave me much new energy.

I live in Canada, but I also took a small, once a week german class, the only thing I remember is Ich habe ein kopfshmertzen. :doh: I don't even know if I spelled that correctly.

Almost right! Ich habe Kopfschmerzen-> ist richtig. (I have a headache-> is right) :wub: So people I'm very surprised that so many of you had some german classes at school. There we've englischmuppet, corinne, jarrec and you?Nice! Doesn't know that german is teached in so many countrys all over the world. I think it's difficult to learn. I know what I'm talking about. :lol:

englishmuppet: Thanks for visiting my log again. I pray for better skin, too ;)

Jules70: Yes, you're right! Laughing is a good think :lol: . It makes me feel better! I should do more often. I'll try, I promise ;) I'm listening to James Blunt right know while I'm writing these lines. He's one of my favs. I love the song "Goodbye My Lover" it's incredible. You're beautiful was a huge hit in germany last year. I love the intimacy of his songs. And his voice is adorable. ;)

hi im Lvig: Thanks for your nice words. ;) You're right it will be better. I've to keep up.

corrine_1980: I study business informatics. So I've 60% informatic courses and 40% business courses. I'm at my second year (4.semester). Thanks for reading ;)

Day 83

Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 44days to go :dance:

So everybody,

I had a very busy day today. I had to do thousands things for university. So skin looked good today.

I got 2 new small zits last night. But they're not as bad as the others I got last week. Maybe it's because of the sunburn I got yesterday. But I'm scared to put some sun-lotion on my skin. Belike the lotion causes new zits? Hence I guess I will put some of my normal face cream on it instead. Side-effects: none today! Only dry skin, but not to bad. I'm glad that the tiredness I had last week is gone. Feels good not to be tired all day. :D

Anyway I'm off know, I've to watch the new episodes of my 2 favorite series Grey's Anatomy and Emergency Room on TV now.

I wish all of you a great day. Thanks for reading my log ;)

Currently listening to **James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover**

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hey i saw you've been on 20 mg for the past (almost) 3 months now. i first month i was on 20 mg..then the second month i was on 40 mg and i saw a HUGE improvement.(now i'm on 80...too soon to tell yet) you should be going to your derm. soon, right? maybe he'll bump you up to 40 or 60. ask him, maybe. :think: if he does, i think you'll see a huge improvement! ...just a thought. keep us updated!

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Day 83

Soccer/Football/World-Cup-2006-Germany-Countdown: 44days to go :dance:

So everybody,

I had a very busy day today. I had to do thousands things for university. So skin looked good today.

I got 2 new small zits last night. But they're not as bad as the others I got last week. Maybe it's because of the sunburn I got yesterday. But I'm scared to put some sun-lotion on my skin. Belike the lotion causes new zits? Hence I guess I will put some of my normal face cream on it instead. Side-effects: none today! Only dry skin, but not to bad. I'm glad that the tiredness I had last week is gone. Feels good not to be tired all day. :D

Anyway I'm off know, I've to watch the new episodes of my 2 favorite series Grey's Anatomy and Emergency Room on TV now.

I wish all of you a great day. Thanks for reading my log ;)

Currently listening to **James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover**

Ooh I love that song! lol. Shame about the two small zits though I suppose it's good your skin looked good :) I think i'll go play goodbye my lover now lol...

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