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kanmi

I don't even want people to treat me like i'm normal

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If anyone knows any homocidal maniacs, send them my way. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to get ready and shower in the dark because I can't bear to see how I look without make up. I'm sick of not being able to go out in public except for work.

I don't want anyone on earth to hit on me, ever, again. Because if they do, I know they will just be mocking me. And looking at my flaws. And thinking wow, she kind of looks like that girl from Shaolin Soccer who made steamed bread, except not as cute. It's so disgusting to know people let me live just like i'm normal. I'm meant to be put in some cage. And people will pay admission to gaze upon my face while they wince and gasp. But at least I will be making more money than I do at On the Border and will finally be somewhere I belong.

I'm so sick of this.

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Guest LDanielle

If anyone knows any homocidal maniacs, send them my way. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to get ready and shower in the dark because I can't bear to see how I look without make up. I'm sick of not being able to go out in public except for work.

I don't want anyone on earth to hit on me, ever, again. Because if they do, I know they will just be mocking me. And looking at my flaws. And thinking wow, she kind of looks like that girl from Shaolin Soccer who made steamed bread, except not as cute. It's so disgusting to know people let me live just like i'm normal. I'm meant to be put in some cage. And people will pay admission to gaze upon my face while they wince and gasp. But at least I will be making more money than I do at On the Border and will finally be somewhere I belong.

I'm so sick of this.

I know how you feel especially with that first part, I'm the same (getting ready and showering in the dim light) most of the time.

Fact is tho, people hit on you because you're hot, they're not mocking you, and I'd say so if I thought they would because I don't really give a shit anymore especially about the feelings of people on message boards. But the truth is they're not (you know I've looked at your photos).

Having acne doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated as normal anyway, most people get it as a teenager. I used to think like you in that way but now I'm sort of realising that people don't really care if you do have some spots or marks or scars on your face (assuming it's not really severe).

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If anyone knows any homocidal maniacs, send them my way. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to get ready and shower in the dark because I can't bear to see how I look without make up. I'm sick of not being able to go out in public except for work.

I don't want anyone on earth to hit on me, ever, again. Because if they do, I know they will just be mocking me. And looking at my flaws. And thinking wow, she kind of looks like that girl from Shaolin Soccer who made steamed bread, except not as cute. It's so disgusting to know people let me live just like i'm normal. I'm meant to be put in some cage. And people will pay admission to gaze upon my face while they wince and gasp. But at least I will be making more money than I do at On the Border and will finally be somewhere I belong.

I'm so sick of this.

I know how you feel especially with that first part, I'm the same (getting ready and showering in the dim light) most of the time.

Fact is tho, people hit on you because you're hot, they're not mocking you, and I'd say so if I thought they would because I don't really give a shit anymore especially about the feelings of people on message boards. But the truth is they're not (you know I've looked at your photos).

Having acne doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated as normal anyway, most people get it as a teenager. I used to think like you in that way but now I'm sort of realising that people don't really care if you do have some spots or marks or scars on your face (assuming it's not really severe).

Very true, some people realize your a teenager. I think its a lot harder for someone older than us. Say Mid-30's. We all go threw it, I used to think all my friends didn't have acne and maybe I cursed them, because they're all breaking out :badgrin: cough anyway. I feel the same way, I don't want anyone to hit on me at all. I feel like if I breakout anymore they will be disguised. Fact is, at the end of the day. Some people don't care. They just really don't. Some people do, I actually am glad I got acne to a moderate level as I stand (people say mild/moderate whichever), I see past things, I see past it all. I look for peoples attributes. Acne makes you a better person at the end its reign. Trust me on that. Have confidence, people you see everyday.. you stare or make you feel bad, probably don't have much going for them. (overweight, divorce etc etc.) Which i could take that advice sometimes.

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If anyone knows any homocidal maniacs, send them my way. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to get ready and shower in the dark because I can't bear to see how I look without make up. I'm sick of not being able to go out in public except for work.

I don't want anyone on earth to hit on me, ever, again. Because if they do, I know they will just be mocking me. And looking at my flaws. And thinking wow, she kind of looks like that girl from Shaolin Soccer who made steamed bread, except not as cute. It's so disgusting to know people let me live just like i'm normal. I'm meant to be put in some cage. And people will pay admission to gaze upon my face while they wince and gasp. But at least I will be making more money than I do at On the Border and will finally be somewhere I belong.

I'm so sick of this.

Ummm... I just took a glance in your gallery and you're defenitely NOT a beast that should be locked up in a cage. I dont understand how you can think of yourself that way. I'm being completely sincere and honest when I say you're rediculously gorgeous. From what I observe from your pics, your skin is flawless. I would give my left lung for your skin. But I'm pretty much going through the same thing at moment of not wanting to go out because I'm so self conscious of my red marks. So if you ever wanna talk just send me a message.

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we all have been through all that and yeah its hard, but as mattob said, you just need to have hope.

and let me tell you that YOUR'E COMPLETELY NORMAL!! there's nothin wrong, its our body and yeah i hate it sumtimes but its sumthin we have to live with =)

HOPE!!!!

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If anyone knows any homocidal maniacs, send them my way. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to get ready and shower in the dark because I can't bear to see how I look without make up. I'm sick of not being able to go out in public except for work.

I don't want anyone on earth to hit on me, ever, again. Because if they do, I know they will just be mocking me. And looking at my flaws. And thinking wow, she kind of looks like that girl from Shaolin Soccer who made steamed bread, except not as cute. It's so disgusting to know people let me live just like i'm normal. I'm meant to be put in some cage. And people will pay admission to gaze upon my face while they wince and gasp. But at least I will be making more money than I do at On the Border and will finally be somewhere I belong.

I'm so sick of this.

Ummm... I just took a glance in your gallery and you're defenitely NOT a beast that should be locked up in a cage. I dont understand how you can think of yourself that way. I'm being completely sincere and honest when I say you're rediculously gorgeous. From what I observe from your pics, your skin flawless. I would give my left lung for you skin. But I'm pretty much going through the same thing at moment of not wanting to go out much because I'm so self conscious. So if you ever wanna talk just send me a message.

ummm i definately agree with wheredoiturn, you are gorgeous, with makeup you looooooooooooook unreal soo sexy definately get a double look or a stalker stare from me in public, and even without makeup ... you are still sexy seriously you need to listen to a guys point of view goodluck sexy

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Hi kanmi.

I'm so sorry to hear how you've been feeling... :(

You know, sometimes I want so much to try to help, and offer what I can. I think forums like this are wonderful for the support they can offer. In places like this, many of us often try to offer suggestions in hopes that it can help or be an eye opener for another. And when we are the ones expressing ourselves, I think a part of us needs to receive that from others. We can feel safe to an extent here. I still admire many of you for revealing your innermost hurts because I sometimes have trouble putting mine into words and allowing myself to be so vulnerable, even though at the same time, I can be an open book.

I also learned that sometimes it doesn't help, and no matter what we say, it won't make the person feel better. It's hard to know when to stand in and when to stand back sometimes. Even when people do not ask for help but are hurting, I hurt for them, too, and wish it could be taken away.

Sometimes I invest more of myself than I should and am working at this. I just don't want to ever stop caring about people, though.

I agree with many others that you are a beautiful girl (you really are - it's not simply to make you feel good), but I know it takes you believing in yourself to see that it's true. I just want to say that I, like many, care, and wish you the best in finding what you need to feel better.

Try not to give up hope. Hope you'll feel better soon. :angel:

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Guest tenshigirl25

why do all th really pretty girls think they are monsters? havent u seen those obese roseanne lookalikes walking th street? theres a lot of gross peopl ein thsi world and u are not 1 of them. dont waste your life like this, because there is no need to feel this way, u are very pretty. 1 day your going to be old and wrinkly, this is your time.

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are u joking.. ur freaking hot. 99.9% of poeple on here have worse acne than you. in fact you really dont even have acne lol. im 22 year old guy and im picky with girls. but ur hot. damn i swear crazy azz bitches! lol

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kanmi, you are one of the most gorgeous girls ive ever seen. thats my God honest truth. theres absolutely no reason for you to be so hard on yourself. you might be having loads of troubles at the moment, i dont know, but surely you'll get over it.

i know its easy to say, but dont look at the negatives, theres always positives to weigh it out, look at them instead. the way we percieve our skin, we look at every little flaw, so close up, and its not what everyone else sees. people dont stand right in your face looking at every little imperfection, they look at you as a whole, and they must see that your amazing. both inside and out. you have a personality to die for, a beautiful smile, you are beautiful and even though you dont see it, we all do. take our advice! ;)

:whistle:

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Ok kanmi, everyones already told you that your atractive and i know it doesn't get through. So i'l tell you a story about someone i know.

When i just started 6 form college there was this tech support teacher called archie who works with people who are blind, deaf or dumb and who therefore require specific help and facilities in the classrooms. Archie himself is partially blind and about 80% deaf. So there was this one student who he was asked to assess but who couldn't make it to the campus and couldn't use the buses, only the trains because he was familiar with the platforms and there was loud speakers telling him which platform to go to. So archie agreed to meet this guy at the station and walk with him back to the campus. So he took him to the campus and did the assessment and discovered that this guy has far better vision then archie.

And yet this guy was far more disabled then archie because he was opressed by the walls that he'd built around him, and its not something that can be just snapped out of, but it is far more dibilitating then any disease. Archie does everything that anyone else does, goes on holiday goes shopping payes his taxes etc...he always has done. He was one of the very few people at college who really taught me something.

I know its a very hard thing to do but i think you should try and get some councilling because i think in your case its not really about the acne its about feeling you have to be perfect and inevitabley failing. I know its really hard but you need to wake up and smell the coffee.

Best of luck sweetie.

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Guest pokerbugg

i feel u...i dunno , maybe its me, but i think that people who look attractive or somewhat attractive have it kinda tuff as well... its like, u get attention and its ok , actually nice....never really have skin problems and then when u do, it makes u feel insecure, u wanna hide, but u cant...u still get hit on and it weirds u out cuz u dont know why ur getting hit on because in ur mind ur hideous(because uve never looked this way... ever) and u just cant understand why u still get hit on...u question their motives, are they staring at ur new zit, or are they truly admiring ur beauty... but i definitely feel u on what ur saying kanmi ... ur acne is sorta like mine, mild but annoying and persistent .... anyway, im doing the jessfoliation and its working out great so far...tons of improvement...im loving it ....look into it, it might help u out

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I hate change. So much. I always have. It probably doesn't help every boyfriend I had in the past cheated on me. I forgot to thank them for that.

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I hate change. So much. I always have. It probably doesn't help every boyfriend I had in the past cheated on me. I forgot to thank them for that.

Don't worry, your a hottie. If only kiwi girls looked half as good, hmmmm

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What the fuck is wrong with you. Stop whining. Ok, let's look at this picture taken a week ago.

IPB Image

ok, it's pretty clear you have makeup on, but unless you're the #1 makeup artist in the world or something, your acne is not even mild. My acne is 5x worse than yours and I have really shitty skin, but I don't consider my situation bad at all, b/c frankly it's all very mild. 99% of guys would say you're hot as hell, so stop being a little baby and acting like you have it so bad. God, you're so superficial.

And this is Jane a girl I was talking to, shes only 18, she wont take a pic of her full face because she hates most of it and thinks it makes her look ugly, she hasnt left the house in 2 years and has had 6 nose jobs so far and still wants another 2.

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What the fuck is wrong with you. Stop whining. Ok, let's look at this picture taken a week ago.

IPB Image

ok, it's pretty clear you have makeup on, but unless you're the #1 makeup artist in the world or something, your acne is not even mild. My acne is 5x worse than yours and I have really shitty skin, but I don't consider my situation bad at all, b/c frankly it's all very mild. 99% of guys would say you're hot as hell, so stop being a little baby and acting like you have it so bad. God, you're so superficial.

And this is Jane a girl I was talking to, shes only 18, she wont take a pic of her full face because she hates most of it and thinks it makes her look ugly, she hasnt left the house in 2 years and has had 6 nose jobs so far and still wants another 2.

That's pretty sad that their are plastic surgeouns that actually do excessive surgery on people who clearly have some type of body disorder. Talk about socially irresponsible.

Dude, so what if she feels the way she feels? I sometimes feel the way she feels right now and the last thing I would want is someone calling me a whiny little baby. Grow some balls and think before you type. This forum is for emotional SUPPORT and not emotional BREAKDOWN.

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Dude, so what if she feels the way she feels? I sometimes feel the way she feels right now and the last thing I would want is someone calling me a whiny little baby. Grow some balls and think before you type. This forum is for emotional SUPPORT and not emotional BREAKDOWN.

meh, you're right. It just makes me angry that she's sulking over a problem that doesn't exist. With or without makeup, I'm sure she's gorgeous, yet she thinks she's some sort of outcast.

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I agree with lonestar.

Sometimes people want to say: wake up! you have no problem!

But how can one say this in those words? We cannot lessen someone's feelings, especially when we have not stood in their shoes.

I don't think what you typed red_sun will make her feel better, though I know you may not have meant it that way.

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I know how you feel, I check the mirror way to many times in the day, I think you're very beautiful, and you've had boyfriends, so alot of people find you attractive.. I think you'll get past it or feel better soon, life always go upwords!

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Way to go guys, now shes done posting. She went off to get banged by every attractive guy she meets becuase shes knows shes hot now. We just lost a soldier. Shoulda told her she is "O.K" looking, but you went overboard calling her hot, hottest girl you ever seen , gorgeous ect. You guys should be ashamed, in 5 years now she will have 6 kids, liveing on welfare, married 3 times and twice to the same guy. All becuase she foundout she was hot. This is a damn shame.

Only this smiley face will resemble my feelings toward you people ------> :(

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Way to go guys, now shes done posting. She went off to get banged by every attractive guy she meets becuase shes knows shes hot now. We just lost a soldier. Shoulda told her she is "O.K" looking, but you went overboard calling her hot, hottest girl you ever seen , gorgeous ect. You guys should be ashamed, in 5 years now she will have 6 kids, liveing on welfare, married 3 times and twice to the same guy. All becuase she foundout she was hot. This is a damn shame.

Only this smiley face will resemble my feelings toward you people ------> :(

Rofl that is funny newguy. I actually had these two zits on my face. I wanted to desperately clear them up before this Halloween party yesterday so I went to severe measures. I spot treated them with baking soda, then I forgot to wash that off I just kind of brushed it off .. then I made a mixture of lime juice and kosher salt, and picked some holes at the top of these zits. Then I applied the lime juice stuff, and covered it with a band aid. Next morning I woke up with some black circles on my face. Fun stuff.

IPB Image

IPB Image

After I cried hysterically for about five hours, I laughed for a while after that. Then just slapped some more band aids on my face and headed out to the party. It sucked. I'm on thin ice with my boss at work. And hm .. well, I don't know. Overall, I think i'm ok. Because I just realized yesterday I wonder if my skin was clear, would I even be happy? Or would I find something else to complain and be miserable about? I've been on anti-depressants since I was 10 years old. I think that was a terrible decision for my parents to make to put me on those. Because now I have developed a dependency on them. And yes, I have tried to get off my meds before, twice. With horrible results.

I hope everyone else is doing great.

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