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campfitnfun

Angry, depressed, acne, boys, sex, and no make-up

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Weird combination. But let me explain.

Angry

Because I went to the dermatologist today. I went in there with hope and came out with no hope. He diagnosed me with rosacea a year and a half ago, but someone said on this forum tahat maybe i was mis-diagnosed. I went out and bought pro-activ (stupid me) and i've been using it for a week and don't see any results. My dermatologist always prescribes like six different things to use and they work. But I have to use the rosanil cleanser (prescription),elidel (prescription), rosula gel or lotion (prescription), and retin-A (prescription) + 2 pills (and you guessed it, prescription) Well when I do all this, it works. My skin is clear. Great. Yay. The problem is that I don't get many pills to begin with so when I'm out I can refill them once and then I'm out. I don't get another set of pills until I see the doc again. So I usually use the other stuff without the pills which means my skin is clear but gets alittle bit of break out. It's a really shitty visious cycle. No doctor = no pills. No pills = no clear skin. So the solution? Go see the doctor like once a month (expensive) so I can get the prescription for the pills (expensive). Well, I just stopped everything like two monthws ago. And bought pro-activ. Saw the doc today, told him I stopped everything cuz i wasn't seeing results, too embarrassed to tell him that I am using pro-activ. Found out the last time I was on acutane was in 2000 when my rosacea started. Found out that the derm I was seeing at the time didn't even give me enough acutane to run its course. I think I was on it for two months. This was my second time to take it tho, I was on it when I was seventeen, so maybe he thought that I didn't need to take it as long or whatever. Got mad because if he had told me backthen that the problem was rosacea, I would have taken things a bit more seriously and been more persistent in trying to clear my skin. So years go by. No clear skin. I decided it was time to see a new derm. Met him in december of 2003 and he broke the news to me. Met with him today, told him I wasn't on anything. he gav e me like six new things to try. So I asked if I could just take retin-A micro and see if it worked. He said without any pills or anything else? I said yea. he said, no won't work. He wrote a prescription for retin-A micro anyway. Then he went on to say that in the near future i WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO BE PUT ON ACUTANe again and we would sit down and talk about it. Then he said, he couldn't promise me that i would be cleared up for two months or two years. He said that when people get older and they have acne, 4 out of 5 people grow out of it and one has it forever. This is a huge reality check for me because last time i was in his office he implied that I would have it forever. It is a sad reality check. But I really don't have any hope now. I know it is mostly genietic for me. i consider my acne as moderate to severe. I shouldn't be throwing a pity party right now but i think everyone on this site can understand why i am. So I asked my mom if she had acne at 24 when i got home. She said , "yea, I have it now" This made me so furious because that is a bullshit lie. She may have scars all over her face FROM acne and wrinkles all over her face FROM smoking but I'm not asking her if she has wrinkles or scars. I'm asking her if she has the red inflamed cysts that are all over my cheeks and jaw and if they hurt and if they never go away. She's not dealing with looking for a mate right now. She'ls not starting a new career. I'm so mad that she still takes the time to focus ojn herself and her needs instead of mine. She obviously doesn't get it.

Depressed

Because I will probably have this forever. I feel like crying yall. I feel like screaming like a little baby. I will be 80 years old with acne. How lovely is that. Someone ran a poll last nite asking if we'd rather have clear skin or a million dollars. I chose the money right? Because money can buy clear skin and then some. But someone said that if they had the choice, poof and acne gone forever, they would choose that and I agree now. Money isn't everything. it doeswn't buy happiness or clear skin. Or it buys clear skin with trial and error. Hell, I would probably spend on all the million just trying to find a cure and ending up with acne in the end. So if I could redo my vote, it would be the clear skin. And I think if everyone in here really thought about it, they'd pick the clear skin too.

Acne

I have acne and will probably have it forever. What's new?

Boys

The only guy I will let see me without make-up is my ex-boyfriend. We were together for two years and off and on for a year. Any other guy? yOU BETTER BELIVE WHen I see him the make-up is on and if he takes me home it is still on when we make out, have sex, and go to bed. When I wake up, if the make up is on, great. If not, I get up before he does and I go put it on, so he doesn't see my ugly face. No guy or hook up would want me if they saw the real acne me. Let's be real yall. What's on the inside is what matters is bullshit. At least in the beginning of a relationship it is all about looks. Sorry everybody, I am so insecure and shallow that I believe it. I don't like the way acne looks on men. I have dated a guy with acne before and actually fell in love with him but i guess i changed and became superficial like everyone else. I don't know what I'm trying to say except that I don't think any logical guy wqould want me if he saw who i really was. I would have to date him for a year with make-up before he could actually really know. I am that insecure about my acne.

sex

Question that doesn't concern acne watsoever. I am in love with this guy. God please forgive me for writing this but I am in love with this guy and it all started in Biology 101. He sat next to me that semester and flirted with me like CRAZY. I thought whatever. It was flattering and an ego boost and fun to flirt in biology but he knew I had a boyfriend at the time and that it wouldn't go anywhere. Two years later and me and my boyfriend broke up. So my friend sees biology guy and is like "who the hell is that he's hot?" I told her and she somehow convinced me to give him my number. So I did. For a year, yall, me and this guy go back and forth. We have never hung out in public (His idea, not mine) but we do make out a lot and i wanted to sleep with him but for some crazy strange reason i held back. I discovered that i liked him too much to just sleep with him and i told him. He's told me before that he likes me a lot too but he's confused now, doesn't know lwhat he wants, blah, blah ,blah. If anyone should be confused it's me cuz i'm at a weird spot in my life right now, i just graduated college, i'm back in my parents house after living away fromm them in six years, i'm trying to start a career and i'm dealing with a lot of emotions/sex/body changes and I have horrible acne. I understand where this dude is coming from, he's young, scared of commiting to a full time relationship, just wants to have casual sex because he's young, and he isn't too sure that college is the thing for him. So we have had many hot encounters and I mean so hot. So hot that I broke up with my boyfriend ovwer this. When we were broke up the first time, I gave biology boy my number. But me and boyfriend go t back together five months later, and I still saw biology boy. I felt really bad and guilty for cheating on someone and not telling him, that's just wrong, and I had these strong feelings for someone else. So i told boyfriend the truth, let him go. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with bbiology boy. My friends think i am stupid for still talking to him. He plays games, and won't call me for a month and then out of the blue he calls, making me so happy again. And dumb me always welcomes him with open arms and makes out with him and every now and then he will say we will go out on a date in public but then we don't and i get depressed and hurt and emotional. I would just drop this yall if it was some regular old guy but I can't because I know i love him and i know that if he gave me a chance it would work. I know that saying if it's meant to be it will happen but I also know that persistence is a lways a good quality to have and as long as he still calls me every now and then, I'm gonna still hold on.

Question is: he always never ever has a condem on him when we're together. And he refuses to do it without one which makes me like him even more because most guys will just try and go without. Well I don't carry condemson me so in "the moment" he will say 'let me go to the store, it will just take a minute.' But I always say no. I think because if we do have sex thaqt that will be it. it will be a one time deal. he won't call me or even call to hook up or have sex or whatever. That'll be it, I will nev er see him again. So do I risk having a sex buddy because I'm thinking about giving in because I'm 24 and I won't be able to have a random sex buddy when I'm 35? Or should I just keep not putting it out? He says he really respects me for not just going around and sleeping with him. Well, he said that one time when we were dressed, LOL! But when it's hot and heavy, both of us want sex. But I'm in love with him. Could a sex buddy turn into a relationship? Or would it turn into a one time deal? God, I would really hate that!

No Make-up

I'm really saving this one for some other time. I'm sure yall are tired of reading (I don't like reading long posts, sorry guys!) But writing is my passion, it'ws what i do, it will turn into a profession for me some way or another. When I was 8 or 10 I was writing books. 100 page college ruled notebooks just filled with novels and stories and idea, my friends thought i was crazy. They didn't seem to understand how a kid could write so much. But it's what i do. lOOK FOR MY NAME GUYS. i'M GONNA BE A REAL FAMOUS WRITER SOMEDAY... OKAY OKAY sorry LOL. I hope someone reads this and responds because responses are nice and cool, etc. Okay, I'm doing it again. I'm gone for real this time

campfitnfun

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and out of all that you got that she won't date anyone with acne? Im sorry but I couldn't make heads or tales out of alot of it

but yet I understood alot of it was venting frustration

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No I don't like the way acne looks on me, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't date a girl with acne. Sure we live in a looks society, but who says you need to conform to what society says? You wouldnt let a guy see you without makeup because he wouldnt date you? And youre 24 years old? I dont' know, if you choose to associate with superficial people like that then I guess its your bag... you would think at 24 the people you date (that are the same age or older) would be mature and able to look past a couple spots on your face... your acne must not be that bad if you can wear makeup and people dont even notice that you have acne at all....

basically what pursued me to make that comment is you would like for people to look past your acne (which is why you wear make up 24/7) but you wont look past other peoples acne. Thats quite hypocritical...

Another comment... how young is this guy that youre 'in love with' ? The guy who you dont want to sleep with cause youre afraid he'll leave you. How can you be in love with someone if you have thoughts like that about him? Youre in love with him but you wont sleep with him cause you know he just wants a 1 night stand? I don't understand... move on... im sure theres plenty of guys who would be willing to go out with you. He didnt even want to go out in public with you... wow... and youre still hung up on this guy... i dont understand how some people get caught up in situations like these cause youre only victimizing yourself

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First off, you need to stop responding to this guy. Period! He is simply using you and no, your relationship with him, sex or not, will most likely never turn into anything more. (I am not trying to hurt your feelings)

Secondly, if you are really serious about this passion for writing, you might want to consider making your sentences clearer, using correct grammer (run on's, comma splices etc) and focusing on the purpose of the topic.

I hope you find strength to say no to this guy and realize that there is more to life than superficial lifestyles. Yes, looks are important, but they are not a means to an end.

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Oh, and since i've had bad acne, and still have some acne, and a lot of acne scarring, I am attracted to women with the same issues. It gives us a common ground, and we can relate to one another. Most importantly, we can be comfortable with just being ourselves with one another.

However, we all have different preferences.

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No I don't like the way acne looks on me, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't date a girl with acne. Sure we live in a looks society, but who says you need to conform to what society says? You wouldnt let a guy see you without makeup because he wouldnt date you? And youre 24 years old? I dont' know, if you choose to associate with superficial people like that then I guess its your bag... you would think at 24 the people you date (that are the same age or older) would be mature and able to look past a couple spots on your face... your acne must not be that bad if you can wear makeup and people dont even notice that you have acne at all....

How old are you?"  Would you walk into a bar and hit on a girl who went out with no make-up on and acne all over her face?  Or are you even old enough to get into a bar?

If I conformed to what society says and if I wanted people to look past my acne but not look past theirs, then yes, that's supericial, and hypocritical.  However, there are SOOOO many girls and guys at school that have acne (college) and if i were being hypocritical then I would be mean to them and not talk to them.  I went to a speech pathologist this past semester and she had acne about as bad as mine and she didn't cover it up with make-up.  She was such a nice person that I didn't pay attention to that and she had so much confidence in herself I knew she didn't focus on acne, she focused on her career.  I admired her so much.  I never asked her about her acne or anything or treated her with any dsicremenation. 

I taught aerobics and one of my instructor friends had acne but i DIDN'T TALK TO HER LIKE SHE WAS UGLY BECAUSE she wasn't.

My boyfriend's friends had acne.  Did I not hang out with them?  Fuck no!  I partied with them all the time.  Would I have dated one of them?  Hell yea, he had an awesome personality.

I wasn't in a sorrority dumbass.  Trust me, they are worse than high school, the biggest hypocrits and most shallow people you will ever meet.  I have looked past the acne part on other people because i HAVE ACNE.  Some people on this site said they wouldGIVE their acne to someone else just so they would have clear skin.  THAT to me, is cruel and shallow and hypocritical if you think about it long enough.

basically what pursued me to make that comment is you would like for people to look past your acne (which is why you wear make up 24/7) but you wont look past other peoples acne. Thats quite hypocritical...

It's also hypocritical how most people still think of women as being pretty.  All I'm saying is you are not female.  if you were, you'd get it.  We are judged more on our beauty than intellect or power.  I'm not saying intellect and power aren't up there, but beauty wins, ok? I don't know why, but I do find it amusing how I can walk out of the house, gbaseball cap, baggy clothes, no make-up....and I don't get a response from guys.  But when I do dress up, I get all the attention in the world.  You guys are something else.  If we didn't know each other, which we don't, and I walked by you, make-up and all, you would look.  It is in yall's blood, yall see a pretty girl walk by, yall look.  But if I did walk by without any inch of fixing up, you wouldn't remember me or you probly wouldn't even notice me.  It isn't hypocritical at all.  It's just kinda how life is.  And it makes an awesome debate wink.gif

Another comment... how young is this guy that youre 'in love with' ? The guy who you dont want to sleep with cause youre afraid he'll leave you. How can you be in love with someone if you have thoughts like that about him? Youre in love with him but you wont sleep with him cause you know he just wants a 1 night stand? I don't understand... move on... im sure theres plenty of guys who would be willing to go out with you. He didnt even want to go out in public with you... wow... and youre still hung up on this guy... i dont understand how some people get caught up in situations like these cause youre only victimizing yourself

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First off,  you need to stop responding to this guy. Period!  He is simply using you and no, your relationship with him, sex or not, will most likely never turn into anything more.  (I am not trying to hurt your feelings) 

Secondly, if you are really serious about this passion for writing,  you might want to consider making your sentences clearer, using correct grammer (run on's, comma splices etc) and focusing on the purpose of the topic. 

Thanks, that's really good advice.  Umm...on the writing stuff, this is a forum, not the New York Times or Cosmo.  I'm on a bad computer that doesn't type very well.  i've also had an internship where I was an editor and a writer.  I'm not getting grades on what i write on this thread and I'm not getting paid for it.  You read it obviously and understood so ummm....

I hope you find strength to say no to this guy and realize that there is more to life than superficial lifestyles.  Yes, looks are important, but they are not a means to an end.

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I think you should focus on yourself. As for myself I have a boyfriend. He had acne. But, he usually gets a zit or two. But, anyways in my case was severe. I think it was 2 months ago. I wanted to die. I had severe acne and my boyfriend still was there for me no matter what. I mean you can't believe my acne what's so extream... I cried and had anxiety attacks. Overall all that tutore my boyfriend found me beautiful. He told me he didn't care how I look. He even told me if my acne got really severe he will still be with me. That's real love....

Just think about it.

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I'm 21. Yes I can go to bars, yes I have been to many bars but I try to stay away from them because I would prefer not to associate with that crowd, you know superficial people who have no real interests besides hooking up with eachother and getting wasted. There's lots more places to meet people than just at bars

I'm not bad looking either (ill post a pic if you wanna see it) and I could pick up women at bars if I wanted to... but most of them are your typical bar star, you know what I mean?

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I'm 21. Yes I can go to bars, yes I have been to many bars but I try to stay away from them because I would prefer not to associate with that crowd, you know superficial people who have no real interests besides hooking up with eachother and getting wasted. There's lots more places to meet people than just at bars

I'm not bad looking either (ill post a pic if you wanna see it) and I could pick up women at bars if I wanted to... but most of them are your typical bar star, you know what I mean?

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I am not superficial, but I do care about how I look. I stay fit and wear make-up and try to always look my best. Unfortunately, people can judge you by how you present yourself. If you are beautiful, but sloppy and unkept - they will size you up in a negative way. If you are not quite beautiful, but you are neat and kept - people will size you up in a positive way. This happens in a few seconds. But then you hear girls talking and saying how cute a guy is and then they will say - he was cute until he opened his mouth. So TRUE!!! It is not so much about your complexion. It is the way you present yourself as a whole person.

This guy the original postee was talking about is an UGLY UGLY human being and I do not care how 'hot' he may allegedly be. Being with a person because you find them nothing more than attractive is somewhat superficial too. Not to be mean. I just don't like people with UGLY hearts like that guy.

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I am not superficial, but I do care about how I look.  I stay fit and wear make-up and try to always look my best.  Unfortunately, people can judge you by how you present yourself.  If you are beautiful, but sloppy and unkept - they will size you up in a negative way.  If you are not quite beautiful, but you are neat and kept - people will size you up in a positive way.  This happens in a few seconds.  But then you hear girls talking and saying how cute a guy is and then they will say - he was cute until he opened his mouth.  So TRUE!!!  It is not so much about your complexion.  It is the way you present yourself as a whole person. 

This guy the original postee was talking about is an UGLY UGLY human being and I do not care how 'hot' he may allegedly be.  Being with a person because you find them nothing more than attractive is somewhat superficial too.  Not to be mean.  I just don't like people with UGLY hearts like that guy.

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Guest Mr K

Theres no excuse for cheating...

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yeh. sif u wouldn't go for a chick just coz she has acne... i look at some chicks with acne and go oooo yeh. i find them hotter a lot of the time. Flaws are were hotness is at, just too many there gets problems... eusa_shhh.gif

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Look at Lauren Hutton's (super model) teeth. They told her to get them fixed or she would never make it. Cindy Crawford's mole - they told her to remove it. Thank goodness she didn't - that became her trade "mark". If you think about it, we all have something (whether it's acne, scars or something else) we don't like about ourselves, but that doesn't mean other won't like it or even notice. I am an eye girl. I notice eyes first. That is ALWAYS my initial attraction. Then I notice other things. But acne doesn't really bother me. It depends on how much the person's whole package is. But I try not to be without makeup b/c I do believe in an initial attraction. Once I feel like our relationship is more than that, then I start to show my non made up face. If I really like a guy and I am sure he feels the same - I will even wear my bp at night infront of him. I like to spot treat with a huge glob of 10% tinted on each blemish. My highschool boyfriend got scared the first time he saw me like that and started laughing and saying I looked like a warrior with a painted face. I had to laugh too because I looked so ridiculous! But it never really bothered him. We were together for years and I ended the relationship when I started college.

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depressed : dont be cheer up please wink.gif we care

makepu: if im ganna sleep with a chick u better be damn skippy that i was attracted to her and i love the all natural jst out of bed look i bet ur beautiful regardless

that biology dude: casual is casual as long as you can keep it casual wink.gif

oh and cheer up biggrin.gif

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I'm 21. Yes I can go to bars, yes I have been to many bars but I try to stay away from them because I would prefer not to associate with that crowd, you know superficial people who have no real interests besides hooking up with eachother and getting wasted. There's lots more places to meet people than just at bars

I'm not bad looking either (ill post a pic if you wanna see it) and I could pick up women at bars if I wanted to... but most of them are your typical bar star, you know what I mean?

All women who go to bars are not superficial, sometimes people just wannahangout and have a drink with their friends. and where are those pics?

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Not a virgin, Animal. Not even close. How would one presume someone is a virgin because they don't believe in having sex without a relationship?

You said sex before marriage, not just a relationship.

I would presume that because people who are scared of sex always say bollocks like "it's wrong". Obviously they have no concept of human nature and biology, if they think that sex before marriage is wrong. Just like the idiotic rule in the christian religion, where they forbid priests from having sex, and so they release their sexual frustration on young choir boys.

Also, I don't see how you can be "not even close" to being a virgin. You either are or you arn't. There is no middle ground. But I suppose you think that makes you look cool or something.

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First of all, i'm Christian. Through all my trials and tribulations, Jesus Christ is the only one to have stuck around.

Secondly, i've been in many sexual relationships, and i'm not proud of any of them. I've cheapened the act of making love.

Scared of sex? LOL. Yeah man, it's scary! Come on, get your head out of your bum. It's a moral situation...not a fear situation. When two people come together as one, it shouldn't be about lust, but rather about love. That is the most connecting experience we have, and we shouldn't cheapen it by randomly sticking our penis is numerous women.

In this world, it's hard to be perfect, so I don't condemn those who aren't. I'm certainly not. I was just stating my truth.

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