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kkhajavi

Males and Acne Scars

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To the ladies on the board:

Do you think mild scarring on a mans face really detracts from his looks? Assuming a man had nice features but some mild scarring, would the scarring really matter at all?

I have seen Brad Pitt in person as a good friend of mine works closely with his publicist. He has no scarring on his left cheek but some mild scarring on his right cheek. If you notice in the movies, they usually do close ups of his left side....not the right. My female friend thinks the scarring is actually attractive...claims scars on a man's face (even from acne) can be attractive.....I think she is definitely in the minority

What do you guys think.

Unfortunately......and I hate to say this.....think scarring is more of an issue on a female's face as men's skin is typically not that much of a concern....we shave, etc.

Know I sound shallow here...sorry

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To the ladies on the board:

Do you think mild scarring on a mans face really detracts from his looks?  Assuming a man had nice features but some mild scarring, would the scarring really matter at all?

What do you guys think.

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Ladies or guys?  lol.gif

Well, ladies definitely do care about scars on man's face!

After I got my scars fixed more shallow, after few dermabrasions, I started to go out finally.

In the last few years, I have counted 16 times, I have been picked up in a night club by a girl, had nice talks and even sometimes agreed to spend a night or have a date, but she has dumped me when it has become light after leaving the night club or when the night club closes. I've been asked, why in hell I do not have a girlfriend, but surely those questions hasn't been asked when there has been a bright light. Also few girls have straightforwardly admited they "made a mistake" and couple have openly talked with me about my scars.

I would even go that far, that women get bothered by the scars of men even more than men care about scars on women. I mean, most of my friends would happily talk and have sex with a woman with acne scars. Also men wouldn't be so cruel after the light reveals defects. "Women have a right to change their mind". I have struggled really hard not to start hating women because of my experiences. Somewhat I haven't succeeded, but I remind myself always not to hate any individuals, it is wasted energy. Except I do hate my ex gf who caused nervous breakdown when she dumped me long ago after I got acne.

Women care more about looks than men. Isn't it obvious when you look at the world?

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yes women care about scars.scars appear threatening and are associated with evil. Women like that easy going style and smile. I can tell you I get looks from women 15 feet away when they are looking at me but once they see the scars they immediately look away. Yes I will agree with the above poster and say that it is easier for a women to have scars because men don't feel threatened by it. That's just my opinion.

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Noone,

I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles with shallow or even downright unkind women--I know how much that probably hurt. As for your struggles not to hate a certain gender--well, most people I know, men and women, have had similar struggles for one reason or another. As far as your summation though that women care more about looks than men, I think it's more complicated than that. I'm not sure I'd go as far to say that men care more about looks than women (although I know many people who feel this way), but at least I think that it doesn't just come down to "men are more forgiving of women's flaws than women are of men's". I think the key is that women are more "looked at" than men in our society. Just look at the various magazines pitched to the different genders (I'm not talking about porn either): men's magazines focus on women, and women's magazines focus on ....women also! Bodies, skin, eyes, hair, etc., all of these female body parts get put under a microscope in a way men's bodies rarely do. I know many women (including myself), care more about what other women think of them than what men think of them. I know this is not true across the board--many women dress for men's eyes, but I think as many women covet the approval of other women as much as they covet the desire of men. I've been thinking about this for awhile now--it's pretty interesting.

From my own perspective, I think a few scars on a man's face would not distract from his overall looks at all. Obviously, this is coming from someone who has suffered from scarring herself, but I suspect (when I'm being my most honest) that it's true that I find scars more distractiing on a woman than on a man (I hate that I feel this way, but I have to admit it).

--leo

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Personally, I don't care about mild to moderate amount of scarring on a man's face. Of course, I would notice them, but that wouldn't stop me from dating him if he had other qualities that I liked. My current bf has a quite bit of scarring from acne, much more severe than my own even before I had dermabrasion or any other treatments. However, I never thought the scarring on his face was a turn-off as I liked other qualities about him. However, if a person's face is severely scarred, then it's kind of a different story. I know that beauty is only skin deep, and it should be the emotinal aspects of a person that should matter, however, I may be a shallow person or something, but I really cannot imagine myself dating anyone with scarring severe enough that it would make others cringe when they see the person..

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Ok, first of all I think that you are right that men(sorry, most men...) don't care about looks as much as women. They also don't care as much about attitude, personality, or a sense of humor...men will sleep with ANYBODY! Especially after a long night at a bar. Im not trying to be rude, but since becoming married, most of my friends...almost all... are my husbands single friends. Almost all my friends are also guys.

Anyways, I personally don't think that facial scars are necesarily a turn off. I will agree with one of the posts above that talked about confidence. I know a lot of guys with differing things that most women would find unattractive(be it weight, nose size, lack of height/muscle, even acne scars), but after spending even one minuet with them you see beyond that. I have one friend in particular who likes to joke about his apperance, he's a bit over weight, bright red hair freckles, but he also says that he can laugh the pants off any woman, and Ive seen this to be true. Ive ALSO noticed, for the women reading this, that sence being more confident lately, Ive gotten hit on quite a bit, and a lot of comments about my apperence.

I also have to be fair to the men though that there are a lot of superficial women out there. There are also a lot of "gold diggers" and other verious kinds of women. I think though that men and women are more a like then not in some things though. You can't really make judgments about either gender. And don't get discouraged about being turned down. People get turned down all the time. And I think its rarely about looks(from my personal experience)...

keep your head up!

ps. sorry this is so long...

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I think it has to do with your overall confidence level. I dated a guy way back eusa_whistle.gif in '80 with severe cystic acne and bad scarring. I mean serious scarring on his back, chest and face. Didn't bother me, and people would ask what I saw in him, but I didn't look at the scars that way--he was one of the great loves of my life, though he broke my heart to bits. You'd be surprised at who doesn't care about that sort of superficial stuff, and I think the less you worry about it, the more the real you gets a chance to shine through to those that really matter...

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Guest Scorpioness

I find it funny that people who are so flawed themselves are so shallow, superficial and judgmental towards other people's physical flaws. It is really quite depressing when you come into contact with it.

I have one friend in particular, a woman, who is always picking apart other people's flaws (which makes me feel like crap because I know how she must judge me the same way) and she is, to put it mildly ... SO NOT ALL THAT!!!

You would think that these people would grow out of their shallowness when confronting their own physical problems or the physical problems of loved ones in their family. But no.

Another friend of mine, last night, told me that looks are a big part of who people are. I blatently disagreed, and told her I hoped that she didn't feel that way when she was 80, because then she would surely see herself as having no value.

I deal with shallow people all the time. And it is a quality that I dispise most of all in any person.

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There was some stylistic man recently as quoted saying in GQ, "Acne scars had to the masculinity of a man. A man should have a more masculine face. Porcelain smooth skin appears to another as a weak man". Def. paraphrased but look it up in this issue of GQ.

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i have seen guys with acne scars i thought were cute and i would date!...but if they had no character to them i would see them differently and would soon be disinterested.....this goes the same with smooth skinned guys...i have turned down many dates with guys who were great looking, only because their personality stunk!......what a turn off!.....i have learned that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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i agree with one of the post up top. when i use to have clear skin i would walk down the street and check out a girl looking at me as i looked at her. walking in the opposite direction toward each other. and when we get real close to each other we would smile wink.gif at each other and move on. now im a pretty built guy i workout alot i have a tan n all. so now when girls see me walking from the opposoe direction again i can see theer face start to grin as girl do when they see a guy they find attractive from 25feet the smile n all. but once they get real close face to face contact BAM scare time there face turns with in the blink of an eye sad.gif and i'll even turn my head back when i pass um up to see if they look back cause maybe they got embarrsed from up close but nothing at all. freaking sucks so hell yea grls do judge that i know first hand atleast when it comes to physical appearance atleast ciao

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Ok, first of all I think that you are right that men(sorry, most men...) don't care about looks as much as women.  They also don't care as much about attitude, personality, or a sense of humor...men will sleep with ANYBODY!  Especially after a long night at a bar.  Im not trying to be rude, but since becoming married, most of my friends...almost all... are my husbands single friends.  Almost all my friends are also guys. 

Anyways, I personally don't think that facial scars are necesarily a turn off.  I will agree with one of the posts above that talked about confidence.  I know a lot of guys with differing things that most women would find unattractive(be it weight, nose size, lack of height/muscle, even acne scars), but after spending even one minuet with them you see beyond that.  I have one friend in particular who likes to joke about his apperance, he's a bit over weight, bright red hair freckles, but he also says that he can laugh the pants off any woman, and Ive seen this to be true.  Ive ALSO noticed, for the women reading this, that sence being more confident lately, Ive gotten hit on quite a bit, and a lot of comments about my apperence. 

I also have to be fair to the men though that there are a lot of superficial women out there.  There are also a lot of "gold diggers" and other verious kinds of women.  I think though that men and women are more a like then not in some things though.  You can't really make judgments about either gender.  And don't get discouraged about being turned down.  People get turned down all the time.  And I think its rarely about looks(from my personal experience)...

keep your head up!

ps. sorry this is so long...

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my opinion is.. i have scars right at the moment.. so how can i judge some guy on his scars? my boy has perfect skin.. WHICH MAKES ME SICK! but oh well. but he knows im goin through a lot & has never judged me.

people who judge people on their skin are hypocrites. at least the people who have skin problems judging other people. thats what i think!

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Personally, I don't care about mild to moderate amount of scarring on a man's face.  Of course, I would notice them, but that wouldn't stop me from dating him if he had other qualities that I liked.  My current bf has a quite bit of scarring from acne, much more severe than my own even before I had dermabrasion or any other treatments.  However, I never thought the scarring on his face was a turn-off as I liked other qualities about him.  However, if a person's face is severely scarred, then it's kind of a different story.  I know that beauty is only skin deep, and it should be the emotinal aspects of a person that should matter, however, I may be a shallow person or something, but I really cannot imagine myself dating anyone with scarring severe enough that it would make others cringe when they see the person..

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personally a bit of scarring doesn't worry me at all

i am not into 'pretty boys' who have better skin hair and nails than me i like abit of rough lol.gif blame it on the love of rugby blokes if you will but that is how i am

yum

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" Also men wouldn't be so cruel after the light reveals defects. "

Now why do I not believe this? Some men can be cruel and childish, even moreso as women I think. My best friend was going through hair loss and men yelled "ugly" at her while walking down the street. She was suicidal and it didn't help much that some punks on the street put her down like that.

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"Women care more about looks than men. Isn't it obvious when you look at the world?"

Totally opposite. That's why I see attractive women with old or scruffy looking men ALL the time. Rarely do I see it the other way around. Either both are attractive, or the woman is moreso attractive. Why? Because men judge beauty by the face. Women look for more traits than a handsome face. They look for character, personality and status. For men, it's just big breasts and a pretty face. Sorry, but that's my opinion.

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Women seek more than a pretty face. In men they seek qualities that emanate from the inside. And a lot of times they're capable of looking beyond facial defects such as humpy noses, lack oh hair, and of course scars.

And even more! Every not-so-shallow man will prefer a girl with a beautiful mind and perhaps some scars on her face than a perfect-skin bimbo that you can't even have a proper discourse with. I certainly would - even if I wasn't scarred myself. True I am bothered by my scars, but my gf isn't. It took me 4 (four!!) months of continuously questioning her and doubting all the time, before I finally realised that she's not bothered by them. That's what women think about scars on a man's face.

Most people don't even notice our scars because they're not concerned by them. And we believe OMG, everyone is looking at me which is not case. Mild to moderate scarring often goes unnoticed.

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"Women care more about looks than men. Isn't it obvious when you look at the world?"

Totally opposite. That's why I see attractive women with old or scruffy looking men ALL the time. Rarely do I see it the other way around. Either both are attractive, or the woman is moreso attractive.  Why? Because men judge beauty by the face. Women look for more traits than a handsome face. They look for character, personality and status. For men, it's just big breasts and a pretty face. Sorry, but that's my opinion.

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All of you are trying to determine whether it is men or women who are more judgemental, but it all depends on the person. Every person is different and you cannot categorize men and women, well at least thats what I think.

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You know, that might be true about the normal dating folks. But once a man is ready to get married, he'll settle for pretty much anything or anyone he can respectfully bring home to mommy and have a family with.  I mean, how many times have I seen good-looking men married to dried up old hags. I'm sorry, but men just age better and women don't. Women start gaining weight and getting wrinkles and some just age miserably. When a man gets a wrinkle, he looks better. I mean, look at Mel Gibson. I guess that's why a lot of married men cheat on their wives.  Plus, after having kids, you're not as tight as you used to be and sex might be less enjoyable for the men and the married men look for the young tight women on the side I guess.

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I actually think that its the opposite.  I mean about men marrying just anybody.  I know a ton of guys who are waiting for "the one"

and as for women getting fat and loose after kids, and thats why men cheat...well that is a compleatly false statement.  I am 24, I have 2 kids, Im 5'8" and weigh 130lbs, got no streatch marks, and had a c-section with my first baby, and MY husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with my 2nd.  Men who cheat are uncomfortable with themselves, and they're ass holes. 

I agree with the last statement, it just depends on the person.  I personally do not think that scars make a person unattractive, or unapealing.  Lots of my friends(and myself) have dated guys with scars, and lots of my girl friends with scars are actively dating good looking guys.  I really think that if you are constantly worried about your apearance, and feel uncomfortable, then you LOOK uncomfortable in your own skin.  This is not attractive.  Most women like a confident man, who knows who he is and makes them feel good.

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