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Regimen seems to be failing me. In need of some advice or support

Hi guys. This is my first post here in about 4 years... So I apologise for the venting. I'm not really sure what the point of posting this is, just want to get it out there.

I'm a 21 year old woman who has dealt with acne since about 16. It got worse as I got older, with the worst of times being around 18. I started using acne.org products a few years back, and stayed very strictly to the regimen. I never got fully clear with it, but it did make a considerable difference after about 7 months (waaaay longer than most people took). As the years went on and my skin stayed the same (moderate acne at worst) I ended up switching to BP just once a day instead of twice. Mostly because I hate the feeling of putting it on my skin. I still use all recommended products and am very careful in skin care. All of this makes the fact I'm still struggling with acne all the more frustrating.

It's always had an affect on my mental health. Anxiety, mostly. On a bad skin day, it's all I can think about. It makes me feel unattractive (hence why I've not dated in years), unconfident, and really upset. I don't cry over it like I used to, but only because I've accepted that it's just this torturous thing in my life. I can't imagine what it's like to not look in the mirror to check for breakouts first thing every morning. My skin makes or breaks my day. I wear makeup all the time despite hating makeup.

A few months ago I started birth control in hopes of it helping, I told my doctor it was for contraception because I was too embarrassed to talk about my skin - this is something I hope to rectify in another appointment. BC helped a tiny bit. My hyperpigmentation is also an issue as I'm very pale so leftover marks are very visible.


I'm starting to feel hopeless in regards to using the benzoyl peroxide, I'm considering asking for it on NHS prescription as it's a higher strength. My sister uses it and for a long time she was clear, but has been breaking out occasionally over the last few months. Another option is accutane, but I'm quite scared of the potential side effects on my mental health as I'm susceptible to issues. But I can't keep going like this, without being dramatic, it's had a huge affect on my social life and my existence in general. I doubt the NHS will let me go on it for various reasons, but I might ask if I use their prescribed BP and find it doesn't help. I would go to a private dermatologist if I had more expendable income.


I've been reading about fungal acne, no idea if that's maybe a possibility of why treatments having been working. All I know is I've spent so much of my life stressed, sad, and voluntarily alone because of my acne. I just want to be clear, and focus on the actual important things in my life. It's been so long and I'm done. It's gotten to the point where if people talk about acne around me I cease up at the thought of them looking at me or thinking about my face. A lot of the time I don't even want to be looked at. If I have a bad breakout I go to college and my mind just races with thoughts of getting away as soon as possible.


Whew! That was long. Sorry for whatever the hell that was

Edited by PrincessCarolyn

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