Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
BreezeCrayon

When people feel the need to comment on your skin

Why is it that people think it's ok to comment on your skin and give you advice on how to get rid of your acne? Suddenly they are all experts and seem so confident that they are imparting wisdom that will cure you.

I think it's rude that they should even comment, I know I have acne. I look in the mirror like 10 times a day and yep it's still there. So you don't need to point it out to me.

I get 'omg your skin is so bad' by people I sort of know. It's starting to get me down. I just feel so ugly. I don't feel pretty. And each time someone comments it feels like a stab in the heart and I feel myself shrinking and feeling so small. 

I try so hard to wake up and be positive. Sometimes I try and go makeup free to let my skin breathe, I tell myself it's not a big deal. I feel more confident and then boom someone will comment on my skin and that optimism and confidence drops. 

We are so judgemental as human beings. Even with friends they might comment about someone saying 'omg her skin is so bad' and I die inside as I hear this. 

I feel really sad today. Bad skin day, another day another spot. I don't mind the spots it's just that they scar and take forever to fade. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, BreezeCrayon said:

Why is it that people think it's ok to comment on your skin and give you advice on how to get rid of your acne? Suddenly they are all experts and seem so confident that they are imparting wisdom that will cure you.

I think it's rude that they should even comment, I know I have acne. I look in the mirror like 10 times a day and yep it's still there. So you don't need to point it out to me.

I get 'omg your skin is so bad' by people I sort of know. It's starting to get me down. I just feel so ugly. I don't feel pretty. And each time someone comments it feels like a stab in the heart and I feel myself shrinking and feeling so small. 

I try so hard to wake up and be positive. Sometimes I try and go makeup free to let my skin breathe, I tell myself it's not a big deal. I feel more confident and then boom someone will comment on my skin and that optimism and confidence drops. 

We are so judgemental as human beings. Even with friends they might comment about someone saying 'omg her skin is so bad' and I die inside as I hear this. 

I feel really sad today. Bad skin day, another day another spot. I don't mind the spots it's just that they scar and take forever to fade. 


Its not their fault, they're just ignorant.  They think they're helping, but obviously they're not really helping. My friends and family used to do it al the time (I'm convinced my problem with acne began when my Grandma said to me "you're getting a few spots... don't let it get you down" It wasn't until she mentioned it!).

I found that it was worse when they referred to me in the third person - like "Doesn't John's skin look angry today",  when I'm sitting right next to them! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago I went in the post office to buy some stamps.  When I was buying them the lady behind the counter said.."Oh my, your skin...You need to have that checked out by a dermatologist."  I was like "Yeah I do that already" ... I wanted to break down in tears.  I also just couldn't believe she said something to me, I found it so mean.  I would never say something like that to somebody. 

Meanwhile she had a full blown moustache..If I was the person I am today I wld've said to her..."Well perhaps you should see somebody about that moustache you have growing there."  Not that I'm mean, but jeez if you're going to point out my flaws, I'll do the same...
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The worst feeling! It is something that anyone who has dealt with acne will experience at least once in their life.

The main thing to keep reminding yourself of is that they aren't doing it maliciously (most of the time). They are living in a whole different reality - they don't know how much we obsess over our skin and how much it affects us. Most people that haven't dealt with acne themselves don't know anything about it, so they don't get that it's not always easy to fix. All of the things that seem "obvious" to us, have probably never crossed their mind. So, when they comment, they aren't trying to be rude or mean - they are honestly just trying to be helpful. Especially older people, because they grew up in a generation where openly discussing/criticizing physical appearance (weight, skin, etc.) was more accepted. I have a lot of horror stories from my days working in a nursing home while having full blown cycstic acne....

Think about it - you only started researching acne when you got it, right? They don't know that we've already tried everything, or that we've heard the same advice before, or that we've spent hundreds on products, of that we've obviously already been to 3 different dermatologists, etc.... You get the idea. I imagine that's true for anyone that has a condition or disease that most ordinary people aren't educated on. I know that doesn't necessarily make it better, but it can make it easier to stay calm and not snap at people when they do comment on it. I've done that before to family & friends... it can lead to a whole other ballpark of issues with relationships.

As frustrating as it is, it's something that we all struggle with. But know that your skin WILL get better, even if it doesn't feel like that couldn't ever happen. And when all of it is finally over, you will come out a stronger and more emphatic person because of it. Keep your chin up. 
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×