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I don't really know where to start with all of this because I've gotten so many problems recently I couldn't even decide what forum to post this on. I am going to say right now that this will run on for a long time and it will be very boring to anyone reading, but I appreciate anyone who reads all the way through. First, I should have you know that I'm 17 years old and a Junior in High School. I guess I'll start with what I believe to be a symptom of anxiety. I had a couple stomach aches here and there like anyone else over the past few years, but recently, these stomach problems got a lot worse. I've missed a large number of school days, maybe 10 just in 2017, because of how bad it is. Orchestra is my favorite class, well, was my favorite class, and I even wanted to major, not minor, in musical performance because of my love for it. However, my stomach has different plans. In  normal classroom, if my stomach acts up, I can ask to use the restroom and do my business (it never even makes me feel better anyways). But when I'm in orchestra, I can't go to the restroom until after we're done playing. I play the cello, so having to sit straight up with my legs bent apart in chair really doesn't help with me having to use the restroom. I'm absolutely terrified of my stomach hurting when I go to class now do I can't take it anymore. I left school from the nurses office two Wednesday's ago, gen didn't go to school on Thursday. Then I was off on spring break (lucky for me I was sick the whole fucking time and then right after it got better I got a terribly painful ear infection that lasted until yesterday. Today was the first day back from spring break - well, for everyone else it was. I was home, again. My stomach has gotten to the point where it hurts every day, even after I started eating healthy last Monday because I thought it would help. My doctor has me on two prescriptions for my stomach, and they seem to help a little, but the pain is still very noticeable. I'm going to wrap up this topic of stomach one by saying that I have an appointment with a GI in two months. Now moving on to what everyone was waiting for - my acne. Started 3-4 years ago when i was in 8th grade. I started getting a few pimples here and there, and i started to use proactiv, which made more pimples appear. It was above my lips and on my chin, but then in the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade, it progressed to my cheeks. Then the summer between 9th grade and 10th grade, i started to get it on my back. Halfway through the year, i started to get it on my chest. It wasnt too bad, but then i started getting these hard, bumpy cysts that hurt like hell. I got them on the side of my face like in the area that sideburns would be, under my chin on my neck, on the back of my neck, my shoulders, shoulder blades, back, and chest. You can pretty much say ive been in constant pain for a solid year. Im always wearing a hoodie, sweatshirt, or jacket that will cover up my neck, and i make sure to wear tighter collared shirts that dont dip down and reveal any chest or neck acne. Things got better and worse. March 14th of this year, I got a beautiful girlfriend. She has perfect skin all around and I'm very jealous of it. Anyways, ive been going to her house about every weekend, and shes really come to like me a lot, and i think i might even love her. But i dont want to love her right now. It will only make the pain worse if she decides to leave me. It really does suck because any time she wants to lay her head on my chest, i have to like awkwardly shift so shes laying around my armpit area so her head wont feel the large, bumpy cysts on my chest. My face acne isnt too bad anymore, but my chest is absolutely destroyed and i can hardly see any normal skin on my back anymore. I hate how i look up back or chest acne on google images to see if anybody has it like me, but my acne is so much worse than any picture i saw, which is why i wont link any picture of myself. Recently, my girlfriend and I started talking about fooling around with eachother. Now this is a dream come true for me. Im with this beautiful girl who says she likes me for who i am, but even said she thinks im cute with the acne i have on my face, and now she wants to get intimate with me. However, things will be a lot different if she decides to try and take off my shirt. Again, my face acne isnt that bad, so i can understand why she would be able to accept that i have it. Haha. I just remembered something that i dont think will ever leave my mind. I went to the doctor early march, and he went to get my heart rate during a physical, and his hand felt the huge cysts on my stomach. Without my being able to say anything, he lifted my shirt up and the expression on his face was pure, absolutely fucking pure disgust. I had never felt worse about my self in all the time ive been alive. Now hes just my doctor, so i cant care that much. But how the fuck will i feel if the woman i love looks at my body with that same disgust. my heart wouldnt be able to take it and wouldnt doubt it if i decided to kill myself. My doctor went ahead and told me i will need to take accutane, however he couldnt get me with a dermatologist for another two months. If accutane doesnt work and i keep having these problems, i dont know how much longer ill be able to hold on. Thank you if you read this far, and sorry for ending on such a depressing note but i dont feel like talking about this anymore. If you have anything that can help me with any of my problems, or you have a similar story or can relate with anything, please give me a reply. Have a great day.

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7 minutes ago, WaterFountain said:

Just talk to your girlfriend about it?????


But what if she goes around telling everyone that I have acne on my chest and back and then she decides that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't be able to go to school anymore

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Ok, sorry, I forgot kids in HS can be pretty immature. Well, if you guys break up down the road she could tell her best friend or something and then things will spread out. At the same time, you don't want to surprise her either. I'd say get on Accutane and tell her you just respect her too much and want to get to know her better...

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20 hours ago, RandomUsername123 said:

But what if she goes around telling everyone that I have acne on my chest and back and then she decides that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't be able to go to school anymore
when i was in high school i dated a guy with acne on his back/chest not so much face, didn't bother me or affect my opinion of him. you could mention you breakout on on your back/chest casually if you want, i don't think she'll care if she likes you. 

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It's tough being in your situation, especially being as young as you are. I'm glad that you have a girlfriend and don't hold yourself back on loving her out of fear of being heartbroken. Human beings are very resilient! We have obstacles in our life that others don't understand or don't want to understand and we bounce back! Yes acne is the worst! I don't know why it exists or why some people have beautiful clear skin, while others suffer through embarrassment and other issues. I don't understand how you feel because I've never gone through what you're going through, but I can tell you that things will look up. Accutane sounds like a good option for the type of acne you described having. Talk with your girlfriend if you feel that she will understand. If you think that she might tell others then is she worth being with? 

I know this advice might not give you the answers you're looking for but i feel like people sometimes need a cheerleader in their life (not literally lol) just someone to cheer them on and I've had moments where i hated my acne but now I'm just being patient, which isn't my strong suit but I'm managing. Everything's going to be alright, you'll see :)

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