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I ran into a girl in the cafeteria at noon. We know each other and I could categorize her as a friend (not a close one). We were joined by a very good friend of mine, and I laughed at her jokes. This girl saw me laugh and said: "if you keep laughing your pimples will all turn red." 

I was so embarrassed and angry after she said that to me. "That was rude." I said. "But I said it only because I like you." She said. "That did not compute. That was rude." I'm sure that my displeasure was pretty obvious on my face. My good friend was too embarrassed to say anything. She pretended to not hear or see any of those happen. She just focused on eating her food. 

Five minutes later the girl apologized. I said it was alright. But deep inside I felt hurt. Seriously what makes it okay for people to talk about other people's skin problems and expect them to be okay with it? My acne is my only insecurity, and I have been dealing with it since 12 (I'm now 21). I've been doing everything I can to make my skin look better during the past few months. I'm now on the regimen (2nd week) and my skin if literally falling off of my face. It hurts like mofo when I smile or even talk. Those people do not know that. That girl obviously did not know that. She thought it was something that she could talk about so casually -  even mock so casually. I am so salty right now. I could not stop checking my face this entire afternoon. The regimen has some effects but my face is still covered with acne. Everyone can see it. I see people with beautiful, clear skin everywhere on campus. I cannot stop feeling sorry for myself, although it does not help a bit. 

I met this guy long ago and we've been friends since. Last Friday he kissed me and told me that he had loved me since the first time we met. I had the most beautiful skin back then. Now my face is a minefield. I like him, too, but I cannot believe that he would love someone with such a disgusting face. He said that he did not care at all, that I am beautiful and smart and funny and everything...but I feel like I do not deserve it. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no. I cannot date anyone because I feel so ugly. He has been texting me during the past few days and felt slightly better about myself. Just today at noon this girl reminded me that my face is still covered with pimples, that they look red, that everyone can see them. I cannot say that I hate her. I do not want to say that I hate her. I yes I do hate her because that one sentence literally shattered the little confidence and self-esteem that I gained from seeing a little bit of positive effects I got from the treatment. 

Can anyone relate to my experience? Has a friend ever told you that your skin looked horrible and when you got mad they could not appear to be more innocent? I don't know how to deal with this type of situation. I'm so on the edge now that I can literally unfriend anyone who comments on my skin. Seriously this thing is so emotionally draining and people without acne would never be able to understand. 

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Almost cried when I read your post cause I was in the same boat too. (Still get breakouts from time to time now, just not as serious as before.)

I cannot recall how many times people (family, coworkers, cosmetic shop people) have commented on my acnes, like "what happened to your face?" and trying to give me advices as if I'm not taking care of my own skin. I'd always feel so awkward and embarrassed and mad and want to cry. I don't care how they're just being "caring" or "helping," I just hate how they don't know it hurts and just talk about my most insecure issue like it's something funny. I've cried at night because of their comments and how ugly they made me feel. I even refused to visit my grandma and aunt for almost a year cause they said something about my skin too.

The first time I went out w/ my bf (not dating at that time,) I really liked him and thought he'd never be interested in me because of my skin. However, after a few days he asked me to be his gf, and like you, I was doubtful at first cause I didn't know what he saw in me, w/ my skin and everything. I still said yes and we've been dating for almost a year now. The first 3 months I never let him see me w/o makeup, but one day I mentioned my insecurities to him and he said he doesn't care, so the next time I stayed over, I let him see my bare skin, and he didn't think it was that bad. Now I feel comfortable not wearing makeup around him.

I've learned to not care about what people I don't care say about my skin and focus on how those who really love me say. They won't feel different towards me based on how good or bad my skin is, and are always there to cheer me up when I'm feeling down.

I hope your guy friend can be a support to you too |::rolleyes:
 

Edited by ec56
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I can tell you many stories of family and friends making comments on my skin, and each time it would just stun me.  My sister telling me, you have bad skin.  A friend saying, your acne's better.  As though I'd asked them for their opinion.  This kind of thing has been going on for years.  They have no inkling of what I've been through, not having suffered from acne the way I have.  I find it annoying and inappropriate.  I've even had salespeople at stores tell me, your face looks red.  Unbelievable.  I've always envied people with clear skin.  I've done the best I can over the years, seeing derms and being on the regimen.  My acne and managing it has caused me undue stress, so when I get these unsolicited negative remarks, yeah, it stings.  But like the above poster, I've learned not care, at least not as much, about what others think.

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On October 24, 2016 at 3:16 AM, ec56 said:

Almost cried when I read your post cause I was in the same boat too. (Still get breakouts from time to time now, just not as serious as before.)

I cannot recall how many times people (family, coworkers, cosmetic shop people) have commented on my acnes, like "what happened to your face?" and trying to give me advices as if I'm not taking care of my own skin. I'd always feel so awkward and embarrassed and mad and want to cry. I don't care how they're just being "caring" or "helping," I just hate how they don't know it hurts and just talk about my most insecure issue like it's something funny. I've cried at night because of their comments and how ugly they made me feel. I even refused to visit my grandma and aunt for almost a year cause they said something about my skin too.

The first time I went out w/ my bf (not dating at that time,) I really liked him and thought he'd never be interested in me because of my skin. However, after a few days he asked me to be his gf, and like you, I was doubtful at first cause I didn't know what he saw in me, w/ my skin and everything. I still said yes and we've been dating for almost a year now. The first 3 months I never let him see me w/o makeup, but one day I mentioned my insecurities to him and he said he doesn't care, so the next time I stayed over, I let him see my bare skin, and he didn't think it was that bad. Now I feel comfortable not wearing makeup around him.

I've learned to not care about what people I don't care say about my skin and focus on how those who really love me say. They won't feel different towards me based on how good or bad my skin is, and are always there to cheer me up when I'm feeling down.

I hope your guy friend can be a support to you too |::rolleyes:
 

I am so happy for you because you've learned to not care about what irrelevant people say about your flaws:). None of my close friends has ever commented on my face, no matter how horrible it looked. They would not avoid eye contact with me, or stare at a spot on my face while touching their own faces. I think we definitely should surround ourselves with people who do care, and do radiate positive energies. 
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I'm in the same boat as you, sister. I've had acne since I was 13 years old (I am now 22) so I have developed scars, pocks, and still get mild acne (which looks worse than it is since it usually breaks out OVER TOP of my scars). My close friend, from time to time, gives me snide remarks about my face. Like, "ooh, I won't complain about my one pimple, because I know YOU'VE had it so much worse" (as though I'm a cripple). But, you know what? People who criticize other peoples' appearance are simply insecure themselves, and want to bring other people down with them. I know my friend is jealous that I'm skinnier than her, so this might be a way to get some "revenge." Just ignore it or politely say, "I think I'm beautiful the way I am, thanks, acne and all." I'm still trying to be less insecure, but don't let peoples' comments get in the way of your happiness. Everyone had something they are embarrassed of. :)

Edited by cookiemonster555
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I feel for all of you guys.

It's especially hard when you try to convince yourself that maybe no-one really does notice your skin, and it *is* worse in your head, then someone points it out.

Happened to me the other day when my three year old niece said 'why have you got lots of red spots on your cheek?' and I could have cried. I remember my baby sister asking me the same thing about 15 years ago.

Why do we have to go through this?

Stay strong.

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I've had someone very close to me once tell me that I look like a drug addict because of my bad skin 
People don't understand how utterly heartbreaking it is to hear that from someone close to you. Isn't it enough that we have to hear it in loud voices from across the crowd in the middle of the malls from those annoying people trying to get your attention and sell you skin care products? "EXCUSE ME!!! CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR SKIN??!" Um. No. you've just humiliated me to the point where it's obvious you don't know your market AT ALL
I've been friends with the beautician that does my waxing for years but I actually hate going there now because she once told me "I feel so sorry for you" "I want to help you" I actually felt like I had leprocy or was missing a limb. I just thought, "is it so bad I'm actually pitied by people???" Yes I sat in my car and cried for a while after that.  
Now whenever I go i try to prepare myself cause I know it will be commented on "what happened??" "It was getting better!" "try this..." there's only so much you can say so many times. I feel the tears well up every time I have to say "yes I know it's bad".... because i haven't said it like a hundred times before to the same person. What do they expect.

and children in  all their innocence: "Why  you have that all over your face?" It all hurts. 

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Had another appointment at the salon today. After month 2 on roaccutane and let me tell you my skin is 80% better than it was when I was there last, I still get "your skin is so bad".
.... really???? First of all, you had to interrupt my answer to your question of "how has your day been?" to say that??? 
And second..are you actually paying attention to my skin at all??? Or will I forever be 'the one with the bad skin'? 

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It's been more than two months since I posted this. Here's an update. I was on the regimen for exactly two months and had to quit because of a terrible bad allergic reaction that I suddenly developed. The regimen was working for me, slowly, and there were good times and bad times. My skin was constantly irritated, and I had to take more than an hour to get ready every morning. I could not sleep on my side because i was afraid the BP and the never-drying moisturizer would rub all over my pillowcase. It was pure suffering. Now it's been 3 weeks. I am scared. I have acne marks all over my face and small red pimples here and there. I'm worried that my cysts will come back full-force eventually. I'm on birth control but I don't know if it is helping, since it's been only two months. 
I guess I will just have to live with my acne. The regimen worked wondered for thousands of people, but it will not work for me. I am not going on Accutane, because I value my physical health more than my look... and I cannot afford to get sick in my last year of college, if anything goes wrong. You people are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories. 

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6 hours ago, HarleyZ said:

It's been more than two months since I posted this. Here's an update. I was on the regimen for exactly two months and had to quit because of a terrible bad allergic reaction that I suddenly developed. The regimen was working for me, slowly, and there were good times and bad times. My skin was constantly irritated, and I had to take more than an hour to get ready every morning. I could not sleep on my side because i was afraid the BP and the never-drying moisturizer would rub all over my pillowcase. It was pure suffering. Now it's been 3 weeks. I am scared. I have acne marks all over my face and small red pimples here and there. I'm worried that my cysts will come back full-force eventually. I'm on birth control but I don't know if it is helping, since it's been only two months. 
I guess I will just have to live with my acne. The regimen worked wondered for thousands of people, but it will not work for me. I am not going on Accutane, because I value my physical health more than my look... and I cannot afford to get sick in my last year of college, if anything goes wrong. You people are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories. 

HarleyZ birth control is going to help you so much! My skin was gorgeous on the pill. I only got tiny pimples once in a while. It will take just a few more months for you to see the full effect for your skin.
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On December 11, 2016 at 10:21 AM, NMSunflower said:
On December 11, 2016 at 3:41 AM, HarleyZ said:

It's been more than two months since I posted this. Here's an update. I was on the regimen for exactly two months and had to quit because of a terrible bad allergic reaction that I suddenly developed. The regimen was working for me, slowly, and there were good times and bad times. My skin was constantly irritated, and I had to take more than an hour to get ready every morning. I could not sleep on my side because i was afraid the BP and the never-drying moisturizer would rub all over my pillowcase. It was pure suffering. Now it's been 3 weeks. I am scared. I have acne marks all over my face and small red pimples here and there. I'm worried that my cysts will come back full-force eventually. I'm on birth control but I don't know if it is helping, since it's been only two months. 
I guess I will just have to live with my acne. The regimen worked wondered for thousands of people, but it will not work for me. I am not going on Accutane, because I value my physical health more than my look... and I cannot afford to get sick in my last year of college, if anything goes wrong. You people are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories. 

HarleyZ birth control is going to help you so much! My skin was gorgeous on the pill. I only got tiny pimples once in a while. It will take just a few more months for you to see the full effect for your skin.
Thank you! I'm traveling to Beijing right now and the smog or maybe the jetlag has really screwed up my skin. I have tiny white heads all over my forehead, which I did not have when I was in the States. I have a number of giant white heads around my mouth.... I went to a supermarket today and a woman who worked there asked me whether or not I needed a special soap for my acne... I got so irritated and left the store as soon as I could. Oh man I hate traveling but I certainly will stick with the BC and see what is can do. 
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Another update. My skin looks bad in any light. My mother had been sending me to her beauty salon to have professional take care of my skin. Those people said, oh this is no problem at all you'll see improvements in a week. It was totally bullcrap. My skin has not improved at all. If anything, it is getting worse. "I used to have skin way worse than yours." I've heard so much of this from people with crystal clear skin. Like that was helpful at all. It only made me feel even more hopeless, because I've tried everything I could except for accutane. i don't want to go on that drug, but I hate my face...I hate it when I wash my face and feel those painful bumps everywhere. I hate it when I look into the mirror and see angry red marks and bumps everywhere. I hate it when other people point out that I have acne - I mean how could I not know that I have shit all over my face? Why do people feel like they have to state the obvious?
I'm home for the break. Don't feel like going out at all. I stay at home all day, sulking. I just don't feel like going shopping, or hanging out with friends. I don't even feel like taking a walk outside. I can't get my horrible skin out of my head and it's consuming me, and I can't talk about all this self-loath and hatred with anyone I know because they wouldn't understand. Whenever my mom feels that I'm unhappy because of my acne, she'd say something like, don't be stupid, it's not bad, it'll go away eventually, it'll get better after you get a boyfriend, you're not washing your face properly, you didn't put on enough moisturizer, etc etc. I feel so lonely. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. 
 

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I know how you feel. Beauticians kill my life. Like ok. Whatever you're selling I'm sure works wonders for those people who l get the occasional spot. But don't give me that rubbish about your skin used to be like this and then some miracle product happened and there's not one scar in sight. THEN tell me "omg this always works I don't know why it's not working" because to someone already feeling like this about their acne that translates to "you're beyond help". 
I decided to go on accutane because for me it's been 5 years of no progress at all and just getting worse. For me it helped in a short period of time and like you when I washed my face it was painful. After not long even though there was still some I could also feel smooth skin!
if it don't want to go ok it though you shouldn't. I honestly believe it's a personal choice and taking it is also hard work (in my opinion). 
I really hope it gets better for you and you find a solution  help you. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice because clearly nothing worked for me it there are others out there. Sometimes I know it's not always advice you want anyway but someone that understands which is why i came here. My family is good but when my skins bad I just feel like that's all my life is about and that's all people see. And when family say (in a concerned way) "maybe you should try this" and its so out of the  blue like the conversation wasn't even anywhere in that topic then it just like like slap that brings you back to reality about your appearance. 

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On 12/10/2016 at 0:41 PM, HarleyZ said:

It's been more than two months since I posted this. Here's an update. I was on the regimen for exactly two months and had to quit because of a terrible bad allergic reaction that I suddenly developed. The regimen was working for me, slowly, and there were good times and bad times. My skin was constantly irritated, and I had to take more than an hour to get ready every morning. I could not sleep on my side because i was afraid the BP and the never-drying moisturizer would rub all over my pillowcase. It was pure suffering. Now it's been 3 weeks. I am scared. I have acne marks all over my face and small red pimples here and there. I'm worried that my cysts will come back full-force eventually. I'm on birth control but I don't know if it is helping, since it's been only two months. 
I guess I will just have to live with my acne. The regimen worked wondered for thousands of people, but it will not work for me. I am not going on Accutane, because I value my physical health more than my look... and I cannot afford to get sick in my last year of college, if anything goes wrong. You people are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories. 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate a lot to how strangers give unwanted, bad advice. So many kids at school would tell me to use proactive.
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@KillMeNow33
Thanks for your comment:). People with clear skin do not understand how traumatizing it is to have others pointing at their faces, jeering. Every time I see a person with acne, anywhere, I would want to hug them. I would not share with them my strategies and such - I would just want to show them that I understand how they feel, and that they should never ever hate themselves because of something that they have no control over. Well I still need help convincing myself, but I'm getting there. 
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