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sadnesssss

I m afraid I will end up killing myself

I am so desperate , my life is 0 . I hate everything , acne ruined my entire life . My whole life was horrible ... After 3 months with doxy and tretinoin .. scarring still occurs , after the initial breakout 4 months ago which was horrible and left me with scarring I never had before , a week ago I had a normal pimple which left me with another bad scar ... It s just unbelievable... Nobody supports me . I sit in my bed crying without knowing what to do ... The mental pain is just too much for me , too much ! I m afraid I will end up killing myself..Oh my god ...

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Please don't hurt yourself. You are not alone. Your life is worth something. You have value.  You are more than your skin. 
Sending you love and positive vibes.

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I know your pain. I've been like this for 16 months now. It's awful. But that's how this fucked up world works.

perhaps you can get on meds to dull the pain.

and your scarring sounds pretty new, so you still might have some hope for improvement. Don't kill yourself yet. At least go down fighting.

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Sorry to hear that looks like you are doing everything you can. Because you are young some scar treatments can really work out great for you like tca. Hang in there the antibiotics and tretinoin should be doing something soon. Also keep close contact to your dermatologist (tell him the mental issues) and if you trust a family member tell them that it really bothers you and what they can do to help. Try not to get overemotional about it, if it gets to much ask the doctor for something to calm your panic) you have a skin condition which is very underestimated. You are not alone though. Anyway hang in there life always has fases, nothing stays the same.

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I know how you feel - I think a lot of us do. My skin just fell apart after Retin-A, and I had pretty minor scarring prior to using it. It's a very emotional experience, especially without support, I still have a hard time getting out of bed or doing just about anything. I've been told many times to "get over about it", eventually I just stopped bringing it up to the people I thought were closest to me. Sometimes these thoughts come up, but you have to push through them - Try to imagine things getting better, I know it feels hopeless but focus on treatments you can do at home if you can't afford to see a plastic surgeon/dermatologist, I know I can't and it's a shame these treatments aren't cover under medical insurance, it's a much deeper issue than just the cosmetic factor. Hang in there.

Edited by Insidious

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We support you, this is why you come to this community, we all share your pain and experiences. 

I ask you please get some psychological help. Many people use this when they are going through rough patch in their lives.  We want to see you around the boards. You sound depressed, anti-depressants might help get you out of this dark period. your general doc can give you a prescription.  We all have felt down because of our deformity, but that does not define us. 

Please get some exercise, take a hike, or a walk, this will help clear your mind, ... sitting still will only lead to these thoughts. If you can volunteer that is also a great way to distract yourself while helping others. I know you might be a guy but Macys has dermablend concealer, even guys wear it over their scars. Stress and diet can also lead to acne / scars.  Have you had a allergy test for food? Lets get to the bottom of this . 

If you are in the USA there is free medical help if your in the USA:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline –1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat

If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Site exit disclaimer. Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.

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dont kill yourself, its all first world problems at the end of the day

you have to adapt while exhausting EVERY POSSIBLE solution

think how much time and money you have already invested into your life

once you have tried everything, then its up to you. I had a seriously bad period for a few months where the same thoughts would come multiple times a day but honestly noone wants to die, things can change

 

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Thx for advice and support guys .All my life i tried to stay positive but it s so hard right now . The only thing I done in the last 3 years was focusing to acne and trying to solve it...The thing I was afraid to happen and trying to prevent was scarring..I never care about acne .If i have 20 huge pimples on my face and I know it won t left a scar , I don t have any problem with it. One year ago I discover my scarring and  I was extremely sad at that moment  ... I was so naive because now scarring is 3x times worse...I was sure I need accutane but nooo , derms decided to put me on all bullshit like isotrexin , duac , tretinoin , doxy .....Last time when I saw my derm was 2 + months ago , at that time I was in my first month with tretinoin and she don t know how I look now after 3 months .. I m so afraid she will tell me bullshits like : Oh you look much better than before or things like that....I m still asking myself..HOW? How that scarring occurs while I was on doxy , tretinoin and tons ov vitamins . The pressure I feel right now it s crushing my heart...

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