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Hi everyone,

I have read quite a few threads on these forums and finally decided to sign up. I know my post will mirror what hundreds of other acne.org users have wrote but I have no one else to talk to. I am an only child and when I mention my troubles to my parents, they just get mad at me (I come from an abusive home but I am now in my late 20s and no longer have to live with them... just still deal with their negativity if I speak to them). I do not have any close friends either to discuss my feelings with. I am hoping that some of you can provide your thoughts on my post.

I have suffered with acne since I was 13 and I am now 27. I was on Minocycline for a little over a decade (way too long! But the doctors kept giving it to me) . I eventually had to stop it, as I was experiencing severe head pains. This is when my acne got even worse and gradually turned into cystic acne. It became the worse it ever had last year and unfortunately, I picked it a lot. I even used that little metal tool to remove the puss. Here is what I am referring to : http://www.amazon.com/Premium-Blackhead-Whitehead-Extractor-Remover/dp/B00OZZ2DXS

Of course... this has led to severe scaring. Deep indents, lines all down my face (they look like wrinkles). It's incredibly embarrassing. I have tried everything, I went to a naturopath and changed my diet. I have spent hours researching natural products to clean my face with.I have spent thousands of dollars on natural makeup, cleaning products, organic foods, supplements... you name it. I change my pillow cases every other day and flip the pillow on the 2nd day. I was using creams from the dermatologist but I am allergic to benzaclin and my eyes are still swollen, as I will still use it once and a while since it's the only thing that somewhat works. The list goes on and on and I won't bore you with those details. 

I still have acne but it has improved from last year. I get these painful nodules and I try really hard not to pick but I usually eventually do. It's ruining my life. I haven't dated in 2 years. I am so lonely and rarely go out to see friends. I do work full time and manage to make it into my job. On weekends... I usually stay in and hide away. I'm sick of living like this. If I do have to go out somewhere, then I have to take the time to put on my makeup. When people speak to me, they can't help but look at my scars and active lumps. I cry so much and loose sleep over this issue. It's awful. Being a woman makes it even harder, as I know most men are not interested in dating a girl with scars all over her face! I was told by dermatologists that scars are permanent and nothing can really take it away. I have had 4 different doctors tell me this. 

I guess... I am wondering if anyone else feels like I do. 

Thank you kindly for your time.

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Hi, I'm sorry you don't have family support, were pretty nice on here and we all totally " get it".
Thats a long time to be on an antibiotic! Have you thought of taking probiotics to help replace the good bacteria which may have been killed off?
Being female you have way more options, there are several birth controls( yaz, Yasmine, orthocyclen are a few) which often help acne and a med called spironolactone. Natural supplements like vitex, saw palmetto and spearmint may help.
Check out the hormonal and holistic/ nutrition forums.
Good luck!

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Yes, others feel like you do. I feel your pain as it sounds just like my experience with acne. I've been fighting it for at least 25 years and really just don't know what else to do. No that you are not alone.

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