This is my first post on here since I didn't really know how to use this website. Anyways this is my accutane story:

im 21 now and had acne since I was 13 maybe. Basically my whole middle school and high school time I've been hiding myself because of how self conscious I am. My acne has made my depression and anxiety worse. I like to think I could of been a happy girl who had friends and went out a lot but due to my acne I just wanted to stay home and not see anyone. At around age 16 my acne got worse and like weird worse because I wasn't breaking out so much but I started getting like little wholes. Scars, marks, idk what to call it but they're deep scars, I'm sure few people with severe acne have it because of all the popping and so on. My face feels like a golf course if that makes sense. At age 18 I took accutane and j don't really remember but I think it was 60mg-80mg and I was supposed to take it for 5 months but only did for 3.5 months due to my health insurance and so on. I didn't have any bad experience my first time. No IB, just dry lips and dry skin which I was like amazed because for the first time ever I didn't have to powder my face every hour to not look oily. After a year of having clear skin(but still very little scars but still those hole scars which I was planning of getting like a chemical peel or something to make it better) my acne came back. I had an amazing year with really no pimples whatsoever. Went to my dermatologist and again back on accutane I think 40-80mg again. This time my course was from June to November and I did get little breakouts at the beginning but nothing too bad. Again I was happy with how my skin looked and me and my Derma decided to stop right there. Next month December I started a new birth control (before I used nuvaring) this time it was actual pills and also because my skin was clear I wanted to experiment with makeup more. Within a week of the bc pills, I was breaking out and crying everyday. That same week was when I tried on bronzes and those stuff so I stopped with the make up and still kept trying the bc pill for two months. I realized that even though I was breaking out and it was 2-3 pimples which weren't so bad, I wasn't happy and I felt like I completely went back to having super bad skin just cuz my expectations were so high. Eventually around February my skin wasn't the best but not the worst either. I still had the courage to go out and look at people on the eye and sometimes I didn't have any pimples but then sometimes I did. By June my skin got worse due to stress(my BF was leaving to the navy) and I have bpd which means I'm very attached to him  and only him. I was alone with nothing but my depression. July I went to Peru where I'm from and my skin was starting to get a bit bad (pollution maybe, change of food idk) so I went to Derma and told them about accutane. On August 25 I took my first 20mg pill. I was nervous because I took before 40mg,60mg,80mg and 20mg seemed so low but that's the only ones the sell there. Things in Peru are different. No I pledge, not really checking the blood or if you're taking bc. Is really easy to get accutane and some don't even ask for the prescription. My brand is roaccutane by Roche Incase anyone is wondering. So anyways, September through November my face was horrible. Way worse than before I took it. I felt like maybe I wasn't taking the real accutane since it wasn't from the US. Now we're here in December going to my 4th month and things are a bit better pimple wise but my scars are just Ahhh too much. I'm on my period now and have 2-3 zits that are tearing me apart. I thought by now I'll see good improvements but not much... I know 20mg isn't much so idk if maybe I'll see the effects wayyyy later. I plan to stop my treatment around March. So I'll be doing 7-8 months of accutane. Keep in mind I'm doing this on my own since my Derma is in Peru and we only met once and that's it. That's why I came on here for any help or advice anyone can give me. I was taking isoface (is accutane but like a Colombian brand which was way cheaper) but switched back to roaccutane but I trusted the name better lol idk I'm just so desperate for results. I want this to be my last time taking accutane and hopefully after it I can treat my scars with a chemical peel or laser treatment. I crave for a clear skin just like everyone on here does. Any comments will be nice 

Sorry if this was too long to read. Just trying to put everything I can here so people can understand my situation