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berserk

Afraid That Nobody Will Like Me If I Become "too Ugly"

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Not really afraid, but with every year i feel like Im slowly dying. My face is becoming more dehydrated from years of bp, Im getting more scars every day, my beard is getting bleached, skin just dont stop going to shit overall...

There is no cure, and there are no working treatments without side effects. I would accept all that regardless, cause I really want to live my life, at least a little bit. I would accept it if there is at least one girl that will love me no matter what happens to my face. But my experiences in life tell a different tale. Its all about about looks, money and status when it comes to people. Im sick of shallow relationships and im sick of pretending to be someone im not. Im not enjoying that at all. Since I was a child, I always dreamed about that special girl, but all the ones i had something with were shallow in the end, all talk. I am hurt, lonely and dead.

I just want someone to truly love me and always be there for me so my life can have a meaning again.

Meh. Maybe I should just give up on people cause I will never find the person that will resurrect me and show me that the thing I wanted existed somewhere.

Edited by berserk
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um.. u been sugar/dairy/gluten-free yet? or have u avoided everything ur allergic/over-sensitive to (including shit ur not really allergic to e.g., citrus fruits)? have u been running almost every single day?? and have u stopped over-exporting jizz into the cyberspace? have u paid attention to ur omega ratios and all the other things that ppl talk about here? i know its hell, but it aint really. hell is when u have to admit yourself u didnt do the best you could have done. so... all i can say is ball up. the sooner u start rising from your own pity the better.

Edited by heh2
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Having someone love you will never give your life meaning. Loving others, and yourself gives your life meaning. If you go out and have the same outlook regarding relationships you want others to have, meaning you won't care at ALL about how she looks, social status....etc.... you will find someone. Work on yourself first though dude. And I don't mean your skin. A healthy relationship will follow only then.

Not really afraid, but with every year i feel like Im slowly dying. My face is becoming more dehydrated from years of bp, Im getting more scars every day, my beard is getting bleached, skin just dont stop going to shit overall...

There is no cure, and there are no working treatments without side effects. I would accept all that regardless, cause I really want to live my life, at least a little bit. I would accept it if there is at least one girl that will love me no matter what happens to my face. But my experiences in life tell a different tale. Its all about about looks, money and status when it comes to people. Im sick of shallow relationships and im sick of pretending to be someone im not. Im not enjoying that at all. Since I was a child, I always dreamed about that special girl, but all the ones i had something with were shallow in the end, all talk. I am hurt, lonely and dead.

I just want someone to truly love me and always be there for me so my life can have a meaning again.

Meh. Maybe I should just give up on people cause I will never find the person that will resurrect me and show me that the thing I wanted existed somewhere.

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Haha. Well if you're willing to be with someone who looks "horrible" there are others that will too. You will find SOMEONE on this earth. Now if you have certain standards or limits, and you hold people to that standard you expect them not to have, you're right you probably won't. But even then things happen. You'd be surprised how amazingly un-shallow and genuine some people can be. Being cynical will get you nowhere.

Having someone love you will never give your life meaning. Loving others, and yourself gives your life meaning. If you go out and have the same outlook regarding relationships you want others to have, meaning you won't care at ALL about how she looks, social status....etc.... you will find someone. Work on yourself first though dude. And I don't mean your skin. A healthy relationship will follow only then.

It doesn't matter. If you look horrible no one will want to date you. You won't just "find someone".

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I have cystic acne. I have been through 2 rounds of Accutane with my trusty husband at my side. So, the idea that people who struggle with this cannot find life mates is complete and utter bullshit. I had acne when he met me, and I still struggle with it now. He has lovely skin. We have been together for 16 years. So there.

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I have cystic acne. I have been through 2 rounds of Accutane with my trusty husband at my side. So, the idea that people who struggle with this cannot find life mates is complete and utter bullshit. I had acne when he met me, and I still struggle with it now. He has lovely skin. We have been together for 16 years. So there.

Apples to oranges comparison. You sound older, are a different gender, and probably live in a different location. And just because it happened to you doesn't mean it can happen to everyone else.

Then its your job to make it happen; rarely does it just "happen." If you give up on yourself then why should someone else try for you? Sure rejection sucks, we have all been there. But what separates me (and others) from you is that we keep trying. It may not reward us right away, but it builds character and strengthens us personally.

Its the small things, the minor things when no one is looking that make a difference that draw people to you.

As my preceptor told me once, "you know even if all you did is offer a cup of coffee to that family or a warm blanket to patient, that will have profound effect to the point they will never forget and keep talking about it even after leaving.That attention made a world of a difference in their life. Pretty soon you have strangers smiling at you where ever you go.

So, get out there and just be you.

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I have cystic acne. I have been through 2 rounds of Accutane with my trusty husband at my side. So, the idea that people who struggle with this cannot find life mates is complete and utter bullshit. I had acne when he met me, and I still struggle with it now. He has lovely skin. We have been together for 16 years. So there.

Apples to oranges comparison. You sound older, are a different gender, and probably live in a different location. And just because it happened to you doesn't mean it can happen to everyone else.

Then its your job to make it happen; rarely does it just "happen." If you give up on yourself then why should someone else try for you? Sure rejection sucks, we have all been there. But what separates me (and others) from you is that we keep trying. It may not reward us right away, but it builds character and strengthens us personally.

Its the small things, the minor things when no one is looking that make a difference that draw people to you.

As my preceptor told me once, "you know even if all you did is offer a cup of coffee to that family or a warm blanket to patient, that will have profound effect to the point they will never forget and keep talking about it even after leaving.That attention made a world of a difference in their life. Pretty soon you have strangers smiling at you where ever you go.

So, get out there and just be you.

You can't make it happen if no one is attracted to you at all. I had no problem with this before I had acne and I have the same personality as before. I just look worse now. I'm not some antisocial person that stays in the house all day.

You are not wrong to have those feelings, but a person becomes concerned when they start running your life for you. I try not to take the "bad" out of it as many of us have been there or are there.

You must realize that making the judgement is simply a closed minded observation based off negative experiences. Again, we all do it. But to say no one is attracted is an attempt to read the minds of everyone who has every seen you, ever. We go many places..

Having that line of thinking will only perpetuate the way you feel. You will drive anyone who even attempts to get close away if you do/act like this. Often called a "chip" on your shoulder. Actions speak louder than words. Looks.. yes its always about looks. But as you age looks matter less, a good, honest, loyal, humble friend matters more. Even if it is just a friend.

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It's not called being realistic it's called being pessimistic. Also, what are you judging my acne off of? My profile picture? Seriously? Alright a) That photograph was taken on an extremely clear day for me-hence me taking the picture. I am also wearing makeup and the picture was slightly edited. And b)You're right, my acne has still vastly improved from what it once was and I am extremely thankful for that. I also recognize others have it much, much worse. Right now I am dealing mainly with red blotchiness, lots of tiny acne that consumes my forehead and cheeks, and breakouts (occasionally cystic) around my chin, neck, and jawline that correlate with my menstrual cycle. There was a time back in my mid teens when my acne was MUCH worse than it is now. That was a dark time for me. I was extremely depressed to the point where I contemplated suicide. The relationship I was in was abusive and unhealthy, and because I had such a shitty self image due to my acne I thought I actually deserved it. Thankfully things are different now.. And not because my skin cleared up, because I changed my outlook on myself and on life. I do understand what it feels like more than you know. But I'm not trying to compare my life to any one else's and you shouldn't either. Someone will Always have it worse, and different people handle situations differently on all levels so there is no point in comparison anyhow. I wasn't saying life is a fairy tale and it works out for everyone exactly how they want it to, but feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anything at all.

And yeah, I do think there is SOMEONE in this giant world for everyone. I don't think everyone gets a Victoria Secrets model. But you can get somebody if you're open to anybody. There is nothing unrealistic about that viewpoint.

The guy seemed like he needed some encouragement. I was trying to help with my views. Please don't go out of your way to be negative when it involves another person looking for help. It's just not necessary. confused.gif

Anyway... I don't know you and I don't know your life... I am sorry for any trials you have to or have had to endure, but I sincerely wish you luck and I hope you find happiness.

Haha. Well if you're willing to be with someone who looks "horrible" there are others that will too. You will find SOMEONE on this earth. Now if you have certain standards or limits, and you hold people to that standard you expect them not to have, you're right you probably won't. But even then things happen. You'd be surprised how amazingly un-shallow and genuine some people can be. Being cynical will get you nowhere.

It's called being realistic. Being positive won't just help either. I can see why you don't have this point of view (your acne is not even noticable) but some of us on here have extremely bad, cystic acne and it's not as easy for us. This is no different from people who say that you have acne because of your diet or some other reason that isn't true. It's easy for them to say that when they don't have the same problem.

Edited by Lighthousesrule27
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You can't control other people, and you can't control your looks. You can control the personality and mindset that you cultivate. Are you pleasant to be around? Are you fun? Are you caring? Are you reliable? Are you knowledgable? Take a personal inventory and set some goals. You're going to get healthier and happier each day.

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Also, I'm sorry you're offended by any viewpoints that don't match up with your own. You don't seem to know what "realistic" means. Just because something sounds negative doesn't mean that it's not realistic. Also, you really need to learn how to quote posts properly.

I wasn't offended? You were basically telling me I didn't know what I was talking about because my skin appears pretty clear in my profile picture when you know NOTHING about me. You have to be one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever come across. Yes, we are on an acne site. But you were the one that implied you didn't notice any acne on my face. I didn't sign up to be a member just for the hell of it. You referenced my appearance to say that my life experiences and viewpoints were probably different as a direct result of it, so yes, you were comparing lives. Also, look at what you just said. That just because something sounds negative doesn't mean it's not realistic. Don't you also think that also follows that just because something sounds positive that doesn't mean it's not realistic? Also, the fact that I didn't quote properly has nothing to do with the issue at hand. You got the message right? Since I was talking to you for the entire conversation, you should be able to tell which posts were which. I didn't even realize the quote boxes were erased when it was posted. I am NOW getting offended because even though you were the one that initiated an attack on my viewpoint..one that was intended for the encouragement of another person I add.... I have remained polite to you this entire conversation. But at this point you are just insulting my intelligence. You are not simply arguing, but using fallacies with every post you make. You are judging my life experience with no evidence, suggesting I cannot comprehend the definition of something just because I don't agree with you (Which is what you just accused me of), and you saw another opportunity to attack my intelligence by pointing out I quoted the posts incorrectly. Also, the thing I was suggesting was wrong with the OP is his self view. It is obviously self-destructive. I was doing nothing but giving encouragement. This is going to be my last reply because it is becoming a waste of my time trying to defend to you what was originally supposed to be a simple, positive (and yes, REALISTIC) piece of advice to someone else. Have a nice life.

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Also, I'm sorry you're offended by any viewpoints that don't match up with your own. You don't seem to know what "realistic" means. Just because something sounds negative doesn't mean that it's not realistic. Also, you really need to learn how to quote posts properly.

I wasn't offended? You were basically telling me I didn't know what I was talking about because my skin appears pretty clear in my profile picture when you know NOTHING about me. You have to be one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever come across. Yes, we are on an acne site. But you were the one that implied you didn't notice any acne on my face. I didn't sign up to be a member just for the hell of it. You referenced my appearance to say that my life experiences and viewpoints were probably different as a direct result of it, so yes, you were comparing lives. Also, look at what you just said. That just because something sounds negative doesn't mean it's not realistic. Don't you also think that also follows that just because something sounds positive that doesn't mean it's not realistic? Also, the fact that I didn't quote properly has nothing to do with the issue at hand. You got the message right? Since I was talking to you for the entire conversation, you should be able to tell which posts were which. I didn't even realize the quote boxes were erased when it was posted. I am NOW getting offended because even though you were the one that initiated an attack on my viewpoint..one that was intended for the encouragement of another person I add.... I have remained polite to you this entire conversation. But at this point you are just insulting my intelligence. You are not simply arguing, but using fallacies with every post you make. You are judging my life experience with no evidence, suggesting I cannot comprehend the definition of something just because I don't agree with you (Which is what you just accused me of), and you saw another opportunity to attack my intelligence by pointing out I quoted the posts incorrectly. Also, the thing I was suggesting was wrong with the OP is his self view. It is obviously self-destructive. I was doing nothing but giving encouragement. This is going to be my last reply because it is becoming a waste of my time trying to defend to you what was originally supposed to be a simple, positive (and yes, REALISTIC) piece of advice to someone else. Have a nice life.

Use paragraphs, I'm not reading a wall of text.

You obviously have the time to parade around here making swift judgments. You have the time to read a paragraph.

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calm down

anyway, after one more rejection today and one more death blow few weeks ago by my ex who ruined me many times before, i finally give up on bullshiting myself, people are superficial, expecially women with their huge egos and shallow standards, im tired of suffering, tired of everything, fuck people, im done feeling anything

we are all the same, we are all hypocrites and nature always wins, even when it doesnt look like it

im done

Edited by berserk
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Also, I'm sorry you're offended by any viewpoints that don't match up with your own. You don't seem to know what "realistic" means. Just because something sounds negative doesn't mean that it's not realistic. Also, you really need to learn how to quote posts properly.

I wasn't offended? You were basically telling me I didn't know what I was talking about because my skin appears pretty clear in my profile picture when you know NOTHING about me. You have to be one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever come across. Yes, we are on an acne site. But you were the one that implied you didn't notice any acne on my face. I didn't sign up to be a member just for the hell of it. You referenced my appearance to say that my life experiences and viewpoints were probably different as a direct result of it, so yes, you were comparing lives. Also, look at what you just said. That just because something sounds negative doesn't mean it's not realistic. Don't you also think that also follows that just because something sounds positive that doesn't mean it's not realistic? Also, the fact that I didn't quote properly has nothing to do with the issue at hand. You got the message right? Since I was talking to you for the entire conversation, you should be able to tell which posts were which. I didn't even realize the quote boxes were erased when it was posted. I am NOW getting offended because even though you were the one that initiated an attack on my viewpoint..one that was intended for the encouragement of another person I add.... I have remained polite to you this entire conversation. But at this point you are just insulting my intelligence. You are not simply arguing, but using fallacies with every post you make. You are judging my life experience with no evidence, suggesting I cannot comprehend the definition of something just because I don't agree with you (Which is what you just accused me of), and you saw another opportunity to attack my intelligence by pointing out I quoted the posts incorrectly. Also, the thing I was suggesting was wrong with the OP is his self view. It is obviously self-destructive. I was doing nothing but giving encouragement. This is going to be my last reply because it is becoming a waste of my time trying to defend to you what was originally supposed to be a simple, positive (and yes, REALISTIC) piece of advice to someone else. Have a nice life.

Use paragraphs, I'm not reading a wall of text.

You obviously have the time to parade around here making swift judgments. You have the time to read a paragraph.

Where did I say that I don't have "time"? It looks like you're the one making a swift judgment. I said I'm not reading a wall of text. That huge wall of text needs to be broken into paragraphs for it to be read. K3tchup, do you know what reading comprehension is?

Critically think much? The idea of you complaining about this response is fronted by your lack of time for others' and not helped by laziness. The OP gave incite and advice for which you wrote off with a lame excuse. Furthermore you lack thinking skills-how easy is it to select>copy>paste into word doc> hit enter and start reading?

Ain't nobody got time for that.. lol. So much work.

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Also, I'm sorry you're offended by any viewpoints that don't match up with your own. You don't seem to know what "realistic" means. Just because something sounds negative doesn't mean that it's not realistic. Also, you really need to learn how to quote posts properly.

I wasn't offended? You were basically telling me I didn't know what I was talking about because my skin appears pretty clear in my profile picture when you know NOTHING about me. You have to be one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever come across. Yes, we are on an acne site. But you were the one that implied you didn't notice any acne on my face. I didn't sign up to be a member just for the hell of it. You referenced my appearance to say that my life experiences and viewpoints were probably different as a direct result of it, so yes, you were comparing lives. Also, look at what you just said. That just because something sounds negative doesn't mean it's not realistic. Don't you also think that also follows that just because something sounds positive that doesn't mean it's not realistic? Also, the fact that I didn't quote properly has nothing to do with the issue at hand. You got the message right? Since I was talking to you for the entire conversation, you should be able to tell which posts were which. I didn't even realize the quote boxes were erased when it was posted. I am NOW getting offended because even though you were the one that initiated an attack on my viewpoint..one that was intended for the encouragement of another person I add.... I have remained polite to you this entire conversation. But at this point you are just insulting my intelligence. You are not simply arguing, but using fallacies with every post you make. You are judging my life experience with no evidence, suggesting I cannot comprehend the definition of something just because I don't agree with you (Which is what you just accused me of), and you saw another opportunity to attack my intelligence by pointing out I quoted the posts incorrectly. Also, the thing I was suggesting was wrong with the OP is his self view. It is obviously self-destructive. I was doing nothing but giving encouragement. This is going to be my last reply because it is becoming a waste of my time trying to defend to you what was originally supposed to be a simple, positive (and yes, REALISTIC) piece of advice to someone else. Have a nice life.

Use paragraphs, I'm not reading a wall of text.

You obviously have the time to parade around here making swift judgments. You have the time to read a paragraph.

Where did I say that I don't have "time"? It looks like you're the one making a swift judgment. I said I'm not reading a wall of text. That huge wall of text needs to be broken into paragraphs for it to be read. K3tchup, do you know what reading comprehension is?

Critically think much? The idea of you complaining about this response is fronted by your lack of time for others' and not helped by laziness. The OP gave incite and advice for which you wrote off with a lame excuse. Furthermore you lack thinking skills-how easy is it to select>copy>paste into word doc> hit enter and start reading?

Ain't nobody got time for that.. lol. So much work.

K3tchup, you have no critical thinking skills at all so don't even try to use that excuse. You misinterpreted what I wrote and won't admit it. The OP put several paragraphs into one unreadable wall of text. It had nothing to do with lack of time.

How easy is it not just to write a big wall of crap and to get your point across clearly? It had nothing to do with my time or work. You said that you were busy in another post... apparently not so because you have time to waste embarrassing yourself online. I hope you're better at nursing than you are at this (though I doubt you're a very good nurse, based upon your lack of skills in general).

Difference of opinion and perspective. I see laziness and excuses.

I do not know how to explain this other than to say people can have busy lives with multiple deadlines ect and still have contact for example on social media or a public form. I would rather be busy than bored which is why i involve myself with multiple things.Often I view the boards late at night during break on my breaks and i will say my grammar/spelling suffer terribly. I do it to peek my interest in something else that will keep me thinking/functioning. When you work mixed shifts you might understand.

At times aspects of my life such as time for myself or friends is nonexistent because of my choices, but that's me.

But more importantly i do not know why you are intently following and questioning my posts-this isn't twitter and i do not care for followers.

Good nurse/bad nurse. I will let my patients, other nurses, and doctors decide that as its not up to your ignorance to decide that.

Edited by k3tchup
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Also, I'm sorry you're offended by any viewpoints that don't match up with your own. You don't seem to know what "realistic" means. Just because something sounds negative doesn't mean that it's not realistic. Also, you really need to learn how to quote posts properly.

I wasn't offended? You were basically telling me I didn't know what I was talking about because my skin appears pretty clear in my profile picture when you know NOTHING about me. You have to be one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever come across. Yes, we are on an acne site. But you were the one that implied you didn't notice any acne on my face. I didn't sign up to be a member just for the hell of it. You referenced my appearance to say that my life experiences and viewpoints were probably different as a direct result of it, so yes, you were comparing lives. Also, look at what you just said. That just because something sounds negative doesn't mean it's not realistic. Don't you also think that also follows that just because something sounds positive that doesn't mean it's not realistic? Also, the fact that I didn't quote properly has nothing to do with the issue at hand. You got the message right? Since I was talking to you for the entire conversation, you should be able to tell which posts were which. I didn't even realize the quote boxes were erased when it was posted. I am NOW getting offended because even though you were the one that initiated an attack on my viewpoint..one that was intended for the encouragement of another person I add.... I have remained polite to you this entire conversation. But at this point you are just insulting my intelligence. You are not simply arguing, but using fallacies with every post you make. You are judging my life experience with no evidence, suggesting I cannot comprehend the definition of something just because I don't agree with you (Which is what you just accused me of), and you saw another opportunity to attack my intelligence by pointing out I quoted the posts incorrectly. Also, the thing I was suggesting was wrong with the OP is his self view. It is obviously self-destructive. I was doing nothing but giving encouragement. This is going to be my last reply because it is becoming a waste of my time trying to defend to you what was originally supposed to be a simple, positive (and yes, REALISTIC) piece of advice to someone else. Have a nice life.

Use paragraphs, I'm not reading a wall of text.

You obviously have the time to parade around here making swift judgments. You have the time to read a paragraph.

Where did I say that I don't have "time"? It looks like you're the one making a swift judgment. I said I'm not reading a wall of text. That huge wall of text needs to be broken into paragraphs for it to be read. K3tchup, do you know what reading comprehension is?

Critically think much? The idea of you complaining about this response is fronted by your lack of time for others' and not helped by laziness. The OP gave incite and advice for which you wrote off with a lame excuse. Furthermore you lack thinking skills-how easy is it to select>copy>paste into word doc> hit enter and start reading?

Ain't nobody got time for that.. lol. So much work.

K3tchup, you have no critical thinking skills at all so don't even try to use that excuse. You misinterpreted what I wrote and won't admit it. The OP put several paragraphs into one unreadable wall of text. It had nothing to do with lack of time.

How easy is it not just to write a big wall of crap and to get your point across clearly? It had nothing to do with my time or work. You said that you were busy in another post... apparently not so because you have time to waste embarrassing yourself online. I hope you're better at nursing than you are at this (though I doubt you're a very good nurse, based upon your lack of skills in general).

Difference of opinion and perspective. I see laziness and excuses.

I do not know how to explain this other than to say people can have busy lives with multiple deadlines ect and still have contact for example on social media or a public form. I would rather be busy than bored which is why i involve myself with multiple things.Often I view the boards late at night during break on my breaks and i will say my grammar/spelling suffer terribly. I do it to peek my interest in something else that will keep me thinking/functioning. When you work mixed shifts you might understand.

At times aspects of my life such as time for myself or friends is nonexistent because of my choices, but that's me.

But more importantly i do not know why you are intently following and questioning my posts-this isn't twitter and i do not care for followers.

Good nurse/bad nurse. I will let my patients, other nurses, and doctors decide that as its not up to your ignorance to decide that.

Hey K3tchup I appreciate your posts. :) I'm getting emails for each time there is a quote on my post so it's blowing up my inbox a bit. x) I'll probably turn off my notifications now, so I figured I'd write just one more-directed to you.

I really could give a crap if he read my post or not. :P I shouldn't have taken the bait in talking to him in the first place. He's just being a troll!! But I care that it's happening to you now. It's obvious your job means a lot to you, and he's just trying to use that against you. It's a low blow. eusa_eh.gif Don't even reply anymore!! You seem like a really great person, and your time can be used on way more valuable things than getting caught up in this. ...Not that I'm trying to tell you what to do! But let him say what he wants y'know? Not worth your time. :)

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