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bubbles55

Do You Find Other People With Acne Hard To Look At?

To be honest I find inflammatory acne, macules and scarring really off-putting and I tend to try avoid looking at the person when speaking with them as their appearance turns my stomach and makes me uncomfortable. I was in best buy today buying an Iphone charger and the cashier had nodular chin acne and some pitted scarring and when I saw her I honestly turned away... I wanted to run for the exit away from her face (as mean as that sounds) and tried to pay for my items as quickly as possible so I wouldn't have to look at her.

Can anyone relate to this?

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To be honest I find inflammatory acne, macules and scarring really off-putting and I tend to try avoid looking at the person when speaking with them as their appearance turns my stomach and makes me uncomfortable. I was in best buy today buying an Iphone charger and the cashier had nodular chin acne and some pitted scarring and when I saw her I honestly turned away... I wanted to run for the exit away from her face (as mean as that sounds) and tried to pay for my items as quickly as possible so I wouldn't have to look at her.

Can anyone relate to this?

Yeah. When I was younger, around 15, I did that in high school. Now, when I see someone with really inflamed acne I think "Oh God, that must be painful!" (It probably is.) I try to avoid looking at their face so they don't feel self-conscious about it--though I suspect a few attempts utterly failed when I was at the store. Yes, I feel horrible about it. :(

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To be honest I find inflammatory acne, macules and scarring really off-putting and I tend to try avoid looking at the person when speaking with them as their appearance turns my stomach and makes me uncomfortable. I was in best buy today buying an Iphone charger and the cashier had nodular chin acne and some pitted scarring and when I saw her I honestly turned away... I wanted to run for the exit away from her face (as mean as that sounds) and tried to pay for my items as quickly as possible so I wouldn't have to look at her.

Can anyone relate to this?

Yes, I can relate to that. However, I am completely aware of the behaviour and I think to myself "I am being really mean and anti-social.", so I have trained myself to not project my "hatred" of acne and anxieties on other people. Actually I feel less anxious when I don't care about my acne and when I put effort into not caring about the acne of other people. I look all people in the eyes when I talk to them and I take them completely serious. I have trained myself to not judge people based on their looks and I want to treat everyone equally.

Edited by AlexanderJ86

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I can understand what you mean, but I don't think this myself. I'll certainly realise that it's severe or maybe that's painful for them etc - just empathy for the person having been there myself. I've worried (and still do sometimes) about what people think when they look at me or see my skin. Most of the time you can tell when people are looking away from you or avoiding looking at you, or looking at your skin instead of your eyes for example. And I think that can be quite hurtful. How someone looks shouldn't effect how we interact with them. Look them in their eyes, smile, treat them and talk to them like you would any other person. I think that's best for everyone involved.

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I can understand what you mean, but I don't think this myself. I'll certainly realise that it's severe or maybe that's painful for them etc - just empathy for the person having been there myself. I've worried (and still do sometimes) about what people think when they look at me or see my skin. Most of the time you can tell when people are looking away from you or avoiding looking at you, or looking at your skin instead of your eyes for example. And I think that can be quite hurtful. How someone looks shouldn't effect how we interact with them. Look them in their eyes, smile, treat them and talk to them like you would any other person. I think that's best for everyone involved.

When acne is severe it's impossible to not want to gawk and then look away. It just makes me stop dead in my tracks and STARE and then panic and try to look away in a split second.

Now a few zits and icepick scars on someone's face barely causes me to bat an eyelash but the nodular, inflammatory form is visually very jarring. I almost get a bit angry at the person for allowing their acne to get to that point where their skin is pitted and full of divots and depressions and their acne is out of control... it's like why would they allow that to happen? go on Accutane, sweet jesus. That's an awfully judgemental mentally to have but it is what honestly goes through my mind.

Edited by bubbles55

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Agreed, I look people in the eyes and do all I can to make them comfortable...I would expect the same courtesy. We all suffer enough, good for these people who get out in these customer facing jobs...at least they are living their lives

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Well, what if they are in the middle of a treatment and are in the process of trying to get rid of their acne? acne can get dramatically worse in no time (what happened to me) and just because its severe, it doesn't mean they don't care about their skin. my acne is bad and i would do anything for clear skin (on accutane currently), but if someone thought that i just let it get this bad because i didn't care, i would be very upset. i wish people would realize the emotional distress that us acne sufferers go through. when i see someone else going through the cystic acne, nodular, whatever, it just breaks my heart because it is like looking into a mirror. i know that they are trying to be strong and keep their head high while all they want to do is hide and not be seen. it would break my heart if someone looked at me and thought my face was gross or stomach-turning. its hard enough already.

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I can understand what you mean, but I don't think this myself. I'll certainly realise that it's severe or maybe that's painful for them etc - just empathy for the person having been there myself. I've worried (and still do sometimes) about what people think when they look at me or see my skin. Most of the time you can tell when people are looking away from you or avoiding looking at you, or looking at your skin instead of your eyes for example. And I think that can be quite hurtful. How someone looks shouldn't effect how we interact with them. Look them in their eyes, smile, treat them and talk to them like you would any other person. I think that's best for everyone involved.

When acne is severe it's impossible to not want to gawk and then look away. It just makes me stop dead in my tracks and STARE and then panic and try to look away in a split second.

Now a few zits and icepick scars on someone's face barely causes me to bat an eyelash but the nodular, inflammatory form is visually very jarring. I almost get a bit angry at the person for allowing their acne to get to that point where their skin is pitted and full of divots and depressions and their acne is out of control... it's like why would they allow that to happen? go on Accutane, sweet jesus. That's an awfully judgemental mentally to have but it is what honestly goes through my mind.

Sure it might be 'visually jarring' at first - but I think that should be it - just at first. Something you notice and then you treat them like a person, like any other human being because that's what they are.

And I'm sure you know acne is hard. Accutane isn't an option for a lot of people for whatever reason. Or maybe, like rachelll1995 said, they're in the middle of a breakout because of a treatment. You can't be sure of their situation by looking at them. Guarantee they didn't want their acne to be severe or just 'allow' it to happen. Sometimes you can't help how your skin looks. But we can determine how we interact with / treat others...

The saying 'be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting a hard battle' (or words to that effect) comes to mind. I know what you're talking about is just your reaction and you're not intending to be un-kind or anything (and I like your honesty with it all) but I thought I'd just leave the quote here because I think it's a good thing for people to remember in general.

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well. today i was put in a situation to wait, and with so many girls around, the last place where my eyes went was at their faces.

Edited by DanTheNewWorld

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I hate judging people on how they look, and especially considering how much I go through with my own skin, I would find it hard to judge them when i know what they are going through. Working in customer service when you are having a breakout is horrible, you wouldn't like to think someone is looking at your face and finding you disgusting

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I find other's acne distracting when I'm talking to them but it doesn't really make me want to look any where but their faces. More than other's acne, I find my own face hard to look at :(( I admit, before when I still did not have acne, I was very ignorant about acne and on how people got them so I was a little insensitive but now I understand what others go though so I don't mind them anymore~

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When I was in my teens I was grossed out by people with acne and made fun them. In retrospect, I probably made fun of other people because I was self conscious about my own acne. Why I thought that bullying would help is lost on me, but kids will be kids I guess.

Now, when I see people with bad skin, either active acne or leftover hyperpigmentation, I tend not to notice it. And even if I do, I just think, 'it's not even that bad'. Or, more frequently, I tend to admire those people who have PIH or acne and don't even bother covering it up because I can only imagine how much courage that takes. I personally haven't gone outside without makeup in years, even though my skin is better than some of these people that I meet. It also makes me realise that a lot of people probably aren't judging me by my skin, because I know in comparison to others, my skin isn't so bad. No actives, just leftover PIH that can be covered really easily. I'm just so used to seeing my own skin as awful that I forget how much it's improved.

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It's the people who do this that make me so self-conscious. I'm worried I'm going to be stared at like some sort of spectacle instead of a person. I try to just look people straight in the eye when I'm feeling confident. When I'm not, well, I'll probably be looking down anyway, because I avoid eye contact close-range.

This can probably be triggered by some sort of phobia, I guess. But outside of that, I don't think there would be anything that would make me want to "run away from someone's face" if it was involuntary :( The only people who make me want to run are bronies.

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Having acne which is under control now and having had out of control acne, i can definitively say that i do not find it hard to look at others with acne. It will sometimes catch my attention because i've been there and i know what it feels like but i in no way, shape or form think less of someone with acne. Many times, those same people are with friends, family and loved ones and they are as happy as can be.

It seems to me if you have that inward peace then your outside appearance doesn't control your happiness

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I hate posts like this. Your attitude is the reason people like me - most people on this board - suffer. If acne was socially acceptable, if people didn't think acne was repulsive, most of us would be ok with it and just ride it out. But no, because people - people like you - think it's disgusting and disfiguring, we suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts.

OP, please, please change your attitude. I'm not exaggerating when I say that attitudes like yours destroy lives.

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I hate posts like this. Your attitude is the reason people like me - most people on this board - suffer. If acne was socially acceptable, if people didn't think acne was repulsive, most of us would be ok with it and just ride it out. But no, because people - people like you - think it's disgusting and disfiguring, we suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem and even suicidal thoughts.

OP, please, please change your attitude. I'm not exaggerating when I say that attitudes like yours destroy lives.

I have a bit of OCD, it causes me to be obsessive over certain things (especially the skin) which is why I react to acne this way. It makes me feel as though I'm looking at my former skin and this drives me haywire. It's not personal.

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This sounds pretty personal to me. The entire tone of your thread and posts lack empathy. Just take some advise to reflect on your language and your actions.

Now a few zits and icepick scars on someone's face barely causes me to bat an eyelash but the nodular, inflammatory form is visually very jarring. I almost get a bit angry at the person for allowing their acne to get to that point where their skin is pitted and full of divots and depressions and their acne is out of control... it's like why would they allow that to happen? go on Accutane, sweet jesus. That's an awfully judgemental mentally to have but it is what honestly goes through my mind.

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I've been struggling with a pretty bad breakout for the past few months and I've comforted myself by reminding myself how little I cared about other people's acne back in the good old days, when I had clear skin. I can't lie, I did notice their acne a little, depending on the severity, but it wasn't disgust or pity, just, "Oh, they have acne," and possibly, "I wonder if it bothers him/her?" I never assumed they were unhygienic, I just figured it was some genetic bad luck. But so quickly I learned to erase that impression -- when I got to know people better, I mentally erased their acne because I just saw THEM as THEM.

Now that I have acne I do find myself looking more closely at other people's skin, but it's more to comfort myself that it's normal and that I'm not alone. So I at least can assure people that not everyone, with clear skin or otherwise, is judging you based on acne. I know some people must look at me differently and it's made me more reclusive and shy lately, but ultimately, I just hope people will treat me with kindness and respect.

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