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Hello again all smile.gif

First I want to say how great this forum is! I'm really pleased that a place like this has been set-up where people with the same problem talk to each other (mostly) in a civil manner.

Now onto what's on my mind.

I currently have three active pimples, only two of which are moderate, the other is currently barely noticeable because I don't think it's going to become inflammed. There's also the possibility of one on my forehead because if I touch the area I can 'feel' something like the beginning of pain (if you get what I mean). This is probably a good sign, those spots that are 'under' the skin and already feeling like that typically (ib my case) don't come up red and inflamed, they die out pretty quickly. The only other problem is that I still have a lot of old blemishes, but despite the severity of individual lesions at times, I still don't have any scarring (pitting etc).

So I've been reading some of the other threads on here, in particular the 'do you think of yourself as ugly' thread and seeing how some people are dealing with the emotional/mental side of acne. I'm just beginning to wonder if I'm not dealing with this efficiently? Maybe I make it out to be worse than it is? I know stressing out about it just makes it worse, but no matter how much acne I have (relative to my average) I still don't have cancer, all my limbs still work, I don't have a weight issue etc. And yet sometimes it bothers me terribly, to the point of -not- going out. In many ways it's making me a hermit, I don't see this as positive and perhaps it means I am not working through the problem mentally.

I walk outside and see myriads of people with physical problems, and they are just getting on with it, like it's not even there, so this makes me think I have issue(s) with this that need to be sorted within my own head.

I have to leave in 30 minutes, I told someone I'd be somewhere and I'm already late. It kind of shits me that Iact like this, that I let it control me at times - am I really that weak/superficial/self-conscious? Ironicall, It's worse now than in the past.

I guess that's all I have to say, thanks for reading. smile.gif

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Guest brokencocoon

...I've asked myself the same questions more times than I can possibly count.

It's so frustrating to feel like that, but you're not alone, if THAT helps?!

There's nothing wrong with you because you don't have it all together, ALL the time. Everything with me personally, is up and down...sometimes I feel like I've got the world by the balls, sometimes I'm withdrawn and unwilling. I just try not to beat the crap out of myself for it, because that's where the real suffering is.

I would say that in the times where you are really down about it, be willing to take that time to take care of yourself and at least try to be willing to ask yourself questions about why you feel the way that you do and then have the courage to be really honest with your answers. It's amazing the things that come up and out of your psyche sometimes if you're willing to dig that deep.

That's just my thought and my experience...hope it helps in some way. eusa_angel.gif

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take solace in the fact that no matter how weak you may feel, there is at least one person out there who's mental strength is but a tenth of yours. chin up

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Guest brokencocoon
Thanks, your feedback is much appreciated. smile.gif  Yes it -does- help! biggrin.gif  I'm only really starting to deal with this stuff head-on now, not back when I was 17/18 and just started getting acne (I wish I had though), so dealing with the emotional/mental effects of this physical 'disability' is quite new to me.  I have a habit of just trying to block everything out and act like it's not there.  Good in some situations, but in long-term ones like this I'm now finding that eventually you're gonna cave and you need at least a -little- help from others, if only it's to talk to them about it. 

In the case of acne, I find that talking to others is much preferred.  As discussed in other areas of this board most people that haven't had to deal with this don't really understand.  As long as you're alive and healthy they assume there's no problem.  It's not their fault of course, because they could never really understand the effect this has on your personal life.  neutral.gif

Well I went out and did my thing anyway.  It was good and I didn't really focus on my acne fortunately. biggrin.gif

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I just posted in another topic that when I only had about 1 or 2 zits on my face I was freaking out like my life was over. Then a few months later my face blew up and I remember thinking at that moment that I wish I was back to having those 1 or 2 zits that previously I was freaking out over before. So in a lot of cases we are overreacting. I know I was overreacting because I lived with clear skin the first 19 years of my life and then that was snatched from me briefely.

Now that I am clear again I realize that I was overreacting to when my acne was at its worse cause most of my friends let me know that it wasn't a big deal at all.

And nevermind put it best, there's always going to be someone out there with a tenth of the mental strength that you have. One of my friends recently died while I was dealing with my breakouts and felling sorry for myself. When I heard the news I just thought to myself "what am I doing?" One of my friends just died and I'm here in my room crying over my skin. Just something to think about...

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