Notifications
Clear all

Emotionally Conflicted And Guilty!

MemberMember
2
(@balance-bird)

Posted : 12/01/2013 5:56 pm

Hey guys, soooo

I'm someone who likes to think. I like to know how things function and why they are happening and want to fix them, but I don't prioritize what I think about and know I should.

I'm in college, I got a 4.0 my freshman year, i'm a sophomore now, and I spend SO MUCH TIME researching acne or anything and everything related to it! I dunno where the time goes. I had a few days off for Thanksgiving, and I'm pretty sure I spent 2 and a half full days researching how products clog pores, what I can use in my hair, being paranoid. I feel like if I don't get an answer or something that I will not be complete. I just keep searching and searching, when I really should be getting ahead in my school workI mean I'm not falling behind, but i'm not getting ahead, and i'm certainly wasting time.

I'm going to reduce this to only an hour a day of acne research, but does anyone find this happen to them. I don't time myself or anything, but I'll be on acne.org then Facebook then reading about this and that, and researching grains for an hourit's such a problem! I'm addicted to being healthy and wanting to know the best vitamins and foods, and everything. But I spend too much time trying to find the answers. I should just accept it right, and say, hey, maybe my hour today i'll learn something new.

Thank goodness my grades haven't dropped or anything from thisbut i'm kinds upset with myself that I am so obsessed, but the way I look is really important to me, not to be arrogant or anything, but it's just something I care about. I care about my skin, cause i care about myself and my health.

Some people don;t care, I kinda wish I could be a pizza face and just get on with my life, but even during my morning runs I will be obsessively thinking about if the sweat from my headband is going to give me zits! Everyday it's something new that freaks me out a bit!

I just wanna focus on one thing at a time without my acne being in the back of my mind!

I still get my work done, and do it well, but I would be more focused and have more time if I stopped thinking about my skin so much! Any little free time I getit's usually researching something about skin.

I always have questions I want the answers to, always thinking about this and that.

Quote
MemberMember
2
(@balance-bird)

Posted : 12/01/2013 6:46 pm

 

I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS OBSESSIVE CYCLE! I WILL! I AM! TODAY! I just don't think about the effect enough. we always think about the how we want it fixed now! that's the problem. It's like picking a pimple. You do it, know you shouldn't but it feels good at the moment. Then after it's just swollen, it has to heal, you have to heal and you're mad at yourself. That's how I am with wasting time on my acne and research. I mean, I don't regret the things I've learned, but the obsessive manner yes! My grades could be better, they aren't bad. But i'm not giving it my all, cause my acne is getting some of my all. I don't wanna blame my acne, but it does create a challenge.

I'm lucky that doing my work is really important to me, so I do always find a way to get it done, but I wanna get it done better with more time, not stressing cause I wasted hours on the internet about my acne, when I coulda been studying or getting ahead.

Better later than never. I should only spend so much time researching when I can, like over christmas break and stuffs, but not too much time. Gotta get out and do other thingssss. A little time a day is okay, but now hours. And if I have important things to do, just gotta tell myself my skin can wait, adjust gotta hope that it willg et better and try my best.

 

 

gotta make your mistakes to learn from them, hopefully they are never super super bad, like literally failing our of college or failing a class

Quote
MemberMember
0
(@jeb1992)

Posted : 12/02/2013 12:21 am

we always think about the how we want it fixed now! that's the problem. It's like picking a pimple. You do it, know you shouldn't but it feels good at the moment. Then after it's just swollen, it has to heal, you have to heal and you're mad at yourself. That's how I am with wasting time on my acne and research. I mean, I don't regret the things I've learned, but the obsessive manner yes! My grades could be better, they aren't bad. But i'm not giving it my all, cause my acne is getting some of my all. I don't wanna blame my acne, but it does create a challenge.

You must be my long lost brother, because I'm exactly the same way. I probably know more about acne than many dermatologists by now. In my case, the obsessive cycle often leads to picking as well, which is even worse. I check my image in the mirror at least 10 times a day, often followed by looking up some new remedy for the acne or the scars. The distraction of the obsessive cycle combined with my depression over my skin actually has finally managed to bring my grades down a bit this semester. I WILL NOT allow this to happen again in the spring! You're absolutely right about the impatience aspect of it. I just need to accept that I won't have good skin until the Isotretinoin works its magic, and that will take some time.

Stay strong my friend! I've gotten better about all this in the last few months, and I'll continue to get better in the future. We're in this together. We can dos this.

Quote
MemberMember
13
(@purple123)

Posted : 12/02/2013 10:13 am

LOL

Researching acne related topics, especially in the context of solving your own problems is ok. And it is even better that you have recognized that you're going a bit overboard.

Now that you've articulated the problem, solving it will be a matter of discipline. You basically just have to make yourself focus on what's important. Every time you spend hours online without thinking about it, you have actually made a choice to procrastinate. So, stop giving yourself excuses and promise to treat yourself and your life with enough respect to get better organized. It's completely within your control. Just do it. smile.png

This clip comes to mind:

Now, close the browser tab and get back to work!

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@stella-the-diver)

Posted : 12/02/2013 11:41 am

Some people don;t care, I kinda wish I could be a pizza face and just get on with my life, but even during my morning runs I will be obsessively thinking about if the sweat from my headband is going to give me zits! Everyday it's something new that freaks me out a bit!

I kinda wish I could EAT pizza lol 😛

I've been totally obsessed with my diet and health, too, like what foods to avoid. It can really be fascinating, but bad, too. Just take it easy and relax. 🙂

Quote