Alright, I've been wanting to post on here for awhile and today I just really felt like I needed support or maybe some answers...
I'm a 17 year old girl who's suffered from depression since I was 12, PTSD at fourteen, anxiety etc. but I ALWAYS liked the way I looked.. At least to an extent. I was confident, especially in my ability to get guys. Very outgoing, loud, fun to be around.. I've had some horrible things happen in my life but it felt like my face and my looks were all I had. They gave me hope for an awesome future.. I used to have that normal teenage acne everyone gets but it didn't bother me then I went on birth control and stopped wearing makeup and my skin was completely clear..until I went off birth control. The summer before my senior year my face went crazy and I had severe acne all of the sudden.. Great timing, right? Of everything bad that's happened to me I would say this is the worst thing yet. I've never felt so depressed, hopeless, out of control... I've almost lost all hope to have a future.. I don't go out anymore, I broke up with my boyfriend, I don't talk to anyone, and I dread seeing or looking at the people I used to be friends with because I don't want them to see me like this. I stopped doing the things I love and I just sit in my house depressed and wishing my acne would go away. It's pathetic, really. I know it could be worse, but I've already had it so hard in my life and as soon as I was really recovering from my trauma I got this acne...sometimes I cry when I look in the mirror. I'll start to freak out and just wonder what happened to me... I used to be pretty.. Why do I look like this... I never thought this would happen... Why did I go off birth control..? (Because my acne is hormonal) I blame myself, and I feel like ill never stop feeling this way. It feels like there's no way out. I feel stuck in this depressing cycle. I always got through everything by looking forward to how amazing college would be.. All the friends I'd have the parties I'd go to the boys I'd talk to.. I was gonna start over .. And I was gonna make sure I looked my best by the time I got there.. And now it feels like none of that is possible. I even debate if I WANT to go to college anymore because of my face. Anyway, I've been on Bactrim for 3 1/2 weeks now and my face is really starting to clear up.. Which just made me more aware of the HORRIBLE scarring I have. It's almost like I'd rather have acne all over again so I wouldn't know how bad the scarring is.. My question is say my acne is completely gone within a month.. Or to be safe by January and I start scar treatment in January.. (Maybe some chemical peels, microdermabrasion, MAYBE subcision for a few on my forehead) is it possible that they can be nearly gone by September next year? That I could go to college and barely have any scarring? That no one would even know Ive had acne if I'm wearing makeup? I don't expect them to be completely gone... But it would be awesome if they could get to the point where I don't look hideous without makeup, but I look clear skinned with makeup.. I don't know. I'm sorry this is so long but if anyone has any input or ideas.. Do you think this is a possible goal? Or am I stuck to be horrible scarred to start my college experience and not want to go out or make friends bc of my insecurity? Is it hopeless..?
you didn't post pictures, so I'm not sure what to tell you....you are doing the right things, get your acne under control, and do your homework about scarring options. You can and should talk to your derm now, about Fraxel laser and about the subscisions. These things are cheap so hopefully you have family that support you in these pursuits. But start shopping now for a place to get the scars treated- but do keep your expectations realistic. If your acne is under control and you've made some progress on the scars you have to keep moving forward.
It's good to have goals, just keep your expectations realistic. There is always hope!
Don't postpone your life until your face heals. Sometimes it takes a long time for scars to heal. Also, if your acne is hormonal, it will only be temporarily treated with antibiotics because you're not getting to the root of the problem. And since you're still young, chances are it will return a few months after you're done with antibiotics. So I suggest you figure out how to treat the cause of the acne first, to avoid a relapse.
As for scar treatments, you should post in the scar forum. There are many knowledgeable people there who can give you specific advice on treatments and timelines.