I'm 25 and have struggled with acne since I was 12. Don't get me wrong, I've gone through clearish periods and right now, my acne still isn't as bad as it was years ago when I was a teenager.
Recently, I've had a flare up again and it's gotten me to the point where I don't want to leave the house and go through crying fits. My fiance, who gets maybe 1 pimple a month if any at all, doesn't understand why I get emotional about this. He says things like "It's not bad at all" and "You're beautiful, you have nothing to be upset about".
What I try to explain to him is that it's very discouraging to have tried pretty much everything and still have to battle acne. Yes, mine is very mild compared to what it used to be and sometimes I feel like my 19 year old self that had cystic acne would clobber present day me for being upset like this. All I want is to be makeup free, not have to wash my face with special stuff, go to the dermatologist all the time, and take pills.
Here's what I've been on:
Minocyclen - Worked but became immune
Doxycyclen - Worked a little but not enough and then became immune
Bactrim - Worked 100% (currently looking for a better solution since this not permanent or healthy)
Accutane - Took at 19 for 7 months at 40mg a day. Never completely cleared from this but it dimished my cystic acne. Made my acne more manageable but it has returned once before and now again. Gave me terrible side effects, the normal dry lips, nose bleeds, etc and permanent eczema that comes and goes, lower intestinal problems (no longer deal with this), and high triglycerides
Ortho Tri Cyclen - Took a month before Accutane, gave me the worst breakout of my life.
Duac - Worked great in conjunction with Bactrim
Tretinoin - Worked great in conjunction with Bactrim and Duac, did nothing pre-accutane
Clindamycin - Did nothing pre-Accutane
Tazorac - Did nothing pre-Accutane
Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo - Worked great in conjunction with Bactrim, Duac, and Tretinoin
Spironolactone - Currently trying (19 days) Not doing very well so far but it's only been 19 days!
As you can see, I've done a lot. I've even tried altering my diet to no avail so I've come to the conclusion that my acne may be hormonal? I don't have any other symptoms of PCOS or whatever it is other than my breakouts are on my chin, jawline area all the time and seem to happen in correlation to my cycle. It's a good thing the dermatologist that I see (I actually see his PA now who I like a lot better), lets me pretty much tell her what I want to try, maybe because I've tried all other conventional methods. It was me who suggested Bactrim to try and WHA-LA I was clear within 2 weeks. I stayed on that for a year and was weaned off to clear gloriness for almost 2 years. Then I decided to stop ortho tri cyclen lo and switch to generic because my insurance at work changed and it became too expensive. That was mistake #1. My breakouts before my periods got a little more annoying, not bad, just not the single zit or two I was getting before. Then I decided to stop altogether. That was mistake #2. Then things got a little worse, but not bad. So I decided to go back on ortho tri cyclen lo the real one, not generic and BAM that was mistake #3. Now I broke out all the time, mildy of course. I had no more than 4 or 5 zits on my face at once, no cysts. But it was enough to get me to go back to the derm.
Now I was just gonna go back to Bactrim but read up on spiro. Thinking my acne is hormonal, hence breaking out in response to the birth control, this is something I haven't tried and I don't have to risk becoming immune to bactrim.
So my derm, offered Bactrim first and then I asked about Spiro and she said it would work great for chin acne which I had three monstrous zits on my chin when I went in that day. She put me on 50mg a day and said to call back in 6 weeks to see how I was doing. She also put me on duac again and I'm continuing my Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo. I was excited to start this new stuff and even more happy that it helps with oil. I expected to see results very quickly as my acne was more on the mild side.
Boy I was wrong. 2 weeks in I wake up all itchy on my neck/jawline. All these little bumps sprung up in patches. Thought nothing of it, Accutane gave me eczema permanently, so I thought it was a reaction to a new makeup I've just started using. Well those little bumps spread all the way to the other side of my neck/jawline, up the sides of my face on the hair line and a few on my forehead (WHICH NEVER BREAKS OUT, EVER!). Then the next day, the itchy annoying bumps sprouted around my mouth and up along my nose. Some started to get a little bigger and turned into regular pimples.
Thinking this is my new makeup I stopped using that. I frantically put anything I can on these things, they are small but very noticeable since they are in clusters and look like an ugly rash! I, for the life of me, cannot get rid of them. One turned into a cyst on my jawline. That cyst is currently still there as I type this, but what I'm really upset with are the clusters around my mouth and chin.
It feels like I went from mild to moderate/severe acne in the course of a night and that's what gets me down the most. I think it's from the spiro, as I've never had a reaction to new makeup before and I've tried everything. Purging, anyone?
I've put so much chemicals on my face to get rid of these things in the past 5 days my skin has peeled off and feels so uncomfortable. I can't bare to face anyone in public and even called out of work yesterday.
I've cried every night since this breakout because 1. I feel like I'm losing the battle and 2. I do not want to go back on Accutane if this continues and does not improve. I even called my derm begging for bactrim or something to calm this down only to be turned away and told not to call back till November.
I've contemplated discontinuing spiro to get back my mildly acne skin pre-spiro but thought it might not go back.
I've also contemplated discontinuing the birth control and just take spiro thinking that could help but also afraid of another breakout and things getting worse, plus pregnancy!
So that is all very hard for me to explain to my fiance. Why I feel so discouraged, I feel ugly, and ashamed. I know it sometimes worse before it gets better but I've been through so much I just want to feel normal. 13 years is a long time and I sometimes feel like I'll die with acne problems.
Not only that but I'm also struggling with scars leftover from cystic acne from my teens. I was recently getting treatments for that but these new breakouts have ruined any sort of improvement for my scars, I even may get new ones!
I come on here to vent and to hopefully connect with people who share my frustrations and moments of discouragements.
Please feel free to follow my log on Spiro in the log forum.
Hey there 
I understand how you must be feeling upset and discouraged right now. You have been through a lot - especially roaccutane which is a horrific drug as I know from experience. Personally I wouldn't go back on it if I were you. Ive been on it twice and both times my acne returned. If it doesn't do its job the first time round for the amount of time you were on it, is it really worth the horrible side effects to go through it all again?
I was recently diagnosed with PCOS despite being a very slim build with no excess hair - in fact the only symptoms I have of PCOS are acne and irregular periods. It is worth getting tested if you can.
I have heard very good things about Spiro. I have also heard that you get an initial break out and also that it takes a few weeks to start showing effect. I've heard it works wonders though - so I would keep up if I were you. Its early days.If its still not working after a good 2 months then quit. At least then you have given it a fair chance.
Acne can make you feel, like you said yourself 'ugly and ashamed'. It can make you feel like you are being punished for something. I've been there. I still am there most days. On those down days - try to do something positive. Go for a run. Go to the gym. Soothe your face with tea tree oil and put make up on, paint your nails. Do something positive and creative to try and take your mind away from it. the amount of hours/days I have spent obsessing over my skin in the mirror...it just isn't worth it. tear yourself away and so something to put acne out of your mind. I come on here to voice out or speak to someone who understands (usually my mum who has freaking perfect skin but always gives me help and support) when I feel low - speaking to others and sharing experiences can help. You are not alone
Best of luck with Spiro.
Stay stong
x
Thanks for your words. It is encouraging to come on here, hell I started coming on here since before I started Accutane and now I'm back because the evil is back!
Sometimes I think I must have done something terrible in a past life and acne is my punishment.
But it's great to talk to people on here. I'm too embarassed to talk to friends. My fiance doesn't "get" it and thinks if I "don't care what anyone else thinks I should be ok". My mom had bad acne when she was a kid too, like me. She had AWFUL scarring still and every one in a while will break out. She is 55 years old and has had all of her lady parts ripped out (hysterectomy). Trying to talk to her is hard because she just says "It's not that bad, like it was".
Sometimes I resent my mother. For one, she is most likely the reason why I have acne. It's genetic. So she passed it down to me! Yeah I know, not really her fault.
But it took her over 6 years for her to take me to a dermatologist as a kid. I literally had to beg her. She took my brother, who had acne that went away with antibiotics before he graduated high school! She gave me all the leftover topicals he didn't use thinking it would work on me and got antibiotics from my GP. When she finally took me to the derm, I had just turned 19 and they immediately they gave me Accutane as there was nothing else to try and I was getting cysts the size of quarters! I wish I could have been on Accutane at a younger age before all the scarring started, would have saved me a lot of time and anguish and maybe now would be different.
Hey,
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm still going through terrible skin problems myself. But I want to tell you something - you have a fianc© who loves you regardless of acne. I had a girlfriend for 2 years. Last year I was hit with severe acne (I've always had acne), I started to become antisocial and would constantly flake on her whenever she wanted to hang out. It affected my relationship. Looking back she didn't care about my acne at all - she loved me for my personality. She broke up with me because my obsession with my skin and how it affected the way I behave. It wasn't fair for her. I just want to say that us acne sufferers tend to feel sorry for ourselves, but in a way I feel it's kinda selfish. Yes, acne sucks I know, but we shouldn't stop living our lives. Your fianc© fell in love with you for a reason. Don't let acne ruin that reason. Chin up and good luck!
Hey,
I just began Spironolactone a week go & within a few days had developed clusters of bumps around creases on sides of my nose. Now they seem to be spreading. I am also using 1% tazorac ( 4 weeks now) and my derm put me on amoxicillin 3 days ago due to the fact that my face is worsening since treatment began. Did you stick with the spironolactone? If so, did the small bumps clear up? If so, how long did the take to go away?
Thanks. I am so discouraged. This is truly the worst breakout I have ever dealt with.
It took about six months on spiro and then it totally worked. Kept me clear for five years. Sadly now starting to break out out of no where. I freaked out and increased my dose on my own (I know, I know). Now back to normal dose and taking amoxicillin. But getting (and started to get when I upped the dose) the small little bumps all along my nose by my mouth and by my chin. So I think that may be your hormones regulating.
Hoping you are hanging in there. I've been on spiro 3+ months and experienced a terrible initial breakout out for the first few months. Please realize this is usually a purging of clogged pores that happens and you begin to clear up. I would highly suggest reading through the reviews as it does take many women quite a long time for it to kick in, usually starting to see improvement in the first few months. My breakout was worse than before I started, but I have to tell you it is going to be worth it in the long run to have consistent clarity. Keep a good cleansing and exfoliating routine and consider antibiotics if it is inflammatory, I started that the 3rd week and it really helped with inflammation the rest of the time.
Hey,
I just began Spironolactone a week go & within a few days had developed clusters of bumps around creases on sides of my nose. Now they seem to be spreading. I am also using 1% tazorac ( 4 weeks now) and my derm put me on amoxicillin 3 days ago due to the fact that my face is worsening since treatment began. Did you stick with the spironolactone? If so, did the small bumps clear up? If so, how long did the take to go away?
Thanks. I am so discouraged. This is truly the worst breakout I have ever dealt with.