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wannabeflawless

My Scars Are Ruining My Life!

I just cant take it anymore! no one talks to be at work nor do they want to look at me! im just to ugly. I cant work in an office anymore its worse than high school. The girls here with baby smooth skin have it so much better than me. They get awards and get invited to mertings and places. I just sit in a corner and do my work. I hate walking around here one guy alwsys goes the other way when he sees me :( any advice! Coming to work only reminds me of my ugliness

Oh and my co worker said to me were not trested like the others cause we dont have the "looks" that really crushed me.

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that I can relate!oh my god those horrible people who thinks they're so perfect with their stupid smooth skin!Tell you what don't mind them that works for me..it takes a lot of practice ignoring people and their nasty comments..but TRY to get used to it because your not the only one plz be strong and don't cry..Whatever your work is be good at it and so them pretty face or clear skin ain't enough!Then be motivated save some money for skin treatments..

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Try cognitive behavior therapy. Basically, keep telling yourself "I cant control other peoples behavior towards me, I can only control how I react to it". Calm yourself by relaxing your whole body. Any tense muscles, relax them one by one, have a code word that reminds you to relax. To their comments and what you are telling yourself, repeat, "so what, who cares what they say.." your mind will have negative comments, just keep saying to yourself, these thoughts are not good for me.. I choose to let them go, they are nothing but liars and I dont need to believe them. .if you get sad, just yell out STOP!. I dont need to believe these negative comments... thats basically what CBT is.

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I agree with Tokra. You and you alone are letting your scars ruin your life. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that the way you're feeling is your fault. What I mean is that you should try to adopt a different state of mind. I've felt horribly depressed about my skin, when I had acne it was the acne, then when I didn't get acne anymore it was the big pores on my nose that bothered me more than anything in the world. I would shun any interaction with people, I would stay inside all day and avoid bad lighting in social places that would highlight my flaws. I was not acceptive of myself, I didn't like myself at all, and my confidence was at an all time low. I slacked at academics, didn't go to work and was a total wreck. I was not suicidal but at that point in life, if by some odd chance a car would run me over in the street, I wouldn't have mind. Life sucked.

Then I stopped giving a f*ck.

Now, I'm still on the road to recovery but I feel like a completely different person. Where once my mind was infested with negative thoughts, I actually use it to solve real life problems, focus on the task I'm doing and shut it off when I'm relaxing. I've got so much more energy throughout the day, am exercising more than ever. I would've never thought that I could feel this way when I was at the bottom of the barrel.

Now, I realize there is no IKEA assembly instruction on how to stop giving a f*ck, I'm still not sure how I did it, but I will try to explain how I changed my outlook. Firstly, I realized that there will ALWAYS be people that think badly of me by how I look. Those are not people that you want to spend a dime of energy on. They just aren't worth it. There will ALWAYS be people that say mean things about other people, often because they're not happy themselves (I've noticed that often people I've heard making mean comments are people that I found not attractive at all). Or they could just be d*cks. Whatever motivated them to make mean comments, they're not worth your time and energy. Don't even try to please them somehow, just go about your life ignoring them. Secondly, I forced myself to do more social things, I really like singing and I joined a choir (turns out girls really like choirs and I'm the only guy there lol). I've joined a cross-fit community so I'm getting fitter every day. And I am attending my classes again, giving me the mental satifsaction that I need. I've stopped playing video games, now I rather go meet a friend. Thirdly, I've come to realize people are selfish. Sometimes people (even friends) can just be harsh. I've noticed that that's really a reflection of how they feel. They've probably had a shitty day and don't feel like being nice to anyone. That's their problem just like your problems are yours. Yes, I'm selfish too. Don't waste your time on thinking what people think of you and make your own plans in life. Love the people that love you for who you are, and ignore the people that make you feel bad. If you have a passion, join a club that shares that passion, you'll feel like you're part of something and are able to connect on a beyond the depths of your skin.

Also, if you're not getting out much, you should look into taking vitamin D supplements. I don't now how much they attribute to my positive outlook but I sure as hell wasn't getting out much :).

I really hope you can manage to change your look on life. I've experienced that it CAN be changed, and that all the problems you thought you had, don't seem as important as they once did.

Good luck my friend!

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