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Broken Down, I Think Ive Hit Rock Bottom.

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I think this is literally the lowest self esteem ive ever had in my life, Read, dont read either way I need to vent. Several months ago I had a horrible breakout for no apparent reason, All over my cheeks and mouth area.Was healing up quite nicely and I had some hyperpigmentation left over. After doing some research I bought some Hydroquinone 2% and use it. Didnt patch test cause I am an idiot and it gave me really horrible redness. Stopped using it and redness went away after a week or so, pigmentation was darker, AND it broke me out severely. Worse breakout I ever had in my life. Still dealing with PIH and active pimples, And a huge cyst that wont go away and is purple for some reason. I hate looking in the mirror, yet all I do is stare at the mirror looking at how bad it is. Literally cant get my mind off it. I avoided my friends for over a month now, im so ashamed to go out of my room even. I look down when I talk to people or stand at weird angles so no one can see my face. Feels like everyone is staring. Honestly the worse part is not even the acne its the freakin hyperpigmentation! I dont even pick and i still get it! Seems like everyone else has perfect skin (or maybe everyone with bad skin is hiding away like me lol) I know at least in my family everyone has perfect skin. Its even worse when my mom makes a comment on how bad my skin is. NO one seems to understand. My brother will make a stupid comment about how bad his skin is when in reality theres literally NOTHING on his face. Makes me so mad! I know I shouldnt care but its so hard not to. I was a decent lookin fellow before this ughhghghgggg. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCHHHCHCH! I dont know if any of this even makes sense and not really sure what the point of this was, but it makes makes feel a little better to get it out.

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It's even harder when your family doesn't understand and make fun, cold hearted bastards, I know how you feel I hate people. Including my family.

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I can totally relate. I've avoided people for the past two months, except for work. I'm pretty much a hermit. It feels like everyone stares. Feels like a heavy weight is on my mind and heart and I can't shake it. I just feel mentally broken. I don't wish bad skin on anyone but it would be nice to know I'm not the only one! Seems like everyone else is clear.

When I was 80% clear and using Max Clarity, I used Ambi (which is hydroquinone) to fade spots. It worked very well. But now that I don't use Max Clarity I can't use Ambi because I'm sure it would cause breakouts. Maybe scars are better left to fade on their own.

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I can relate. I tend to be a hermit because of my skin....BUT I am trying to break that. I think I have gotten to a point where I know I need to be content with who I am despite my acne. I know I have missed so much in life because of it and I don't want to continue to miss out. Even if people are staring, I think that my personality is greater than my acne and if they don't see that, perhaps they aren't people I want to be around. But, I am the same with the hyperpigmentation...it really is terrible for me as well. I am not sure your skin tone but I am extremely fair and it seems as if that is a reason it shows so much more. I was using the Hydroquinone 2% as well and that actually helped a lot (even seemed to help the formation of acne for me) but it's so darn expensive! I used the murad brand and that's like $60. I've read there's some natural things you can do. I am currently using olive oil as part of the oil cleansing method to help the hyperpigmentation. I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks so it's hard to tell if it's working, but I know it has helped with blackheads a lot and makes my face way more moisturized with a nicer texture.

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I think this is literally the lowest self esteem ive ever had in my life, Read, dont read either way I need to vent. Several months ago I had a horrible breakout for no apparent reason, All over my cheeks and mouth area.Was healing up quite nicely and I had some hyperpigmentation left over. After doing some research I bought some Hydroquinone 2% and use it. Didnt patch test cause I am an idiot and it gave me really horrible redness. Stopped using it and redness went away after a week or so, pigmentation was darker, AND it broke me out severely. Worse breakout I ever had in my life. Still dealing with PIH and active pimples, And a huge cyst that wont go away and is purple for some reason. I hate looking in the mirror, yet all I do is stare at the mirror looking at how bad it is. Literally cant get my mind off it. I avoided my friends for over a month now, im so ashamed to go out of my room even. I look down when I talk to people or stand at weird angles so no one can see my face. Feels like everyone is staring. Honestly the worse part is not even the acne its the freakin hyperpigmentation! I dont even pick and i still get it! Seems like everyone else has perfect skin (or maybe everyone with bad skin is hiding away like me lol) I know at least in my family everyone has perfect skin. Its even worse when my mom makes a comment on how bad my skin is. NO one seems to understand. My brother will make a stupid comment about how bad his skin is when in reality theres literally NOTHING on his face. Makes me so mad! I know I shouldnt care but its so hard not to. I was a decent lookin fellow before this ughhghghgggg. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCHHHCHCH! I dont know if any of this even makes sense and not really sure what the point of this was, but it makes makes feel a little better to get it out.

The good thing here is that you have hit rock bottom, therefore you can start to come back up.

This has to happen for one to get better.

My advice is try to take stock of what is good in your life and try to focus on things that are important. If you do you may not focus so much on your skin.

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Ohhh I feel the EXACT same way, I completely understand. I never would have felt so bad about my face if my stupid brother never commented on it. The one thing I recommend is to NOT analyze your face in the mirror. I have such a bad habit of doing that when trying to check if my hyper pigmentation faded, and it always just makes me feel worse about it. You just have to realize that people will not be analyzing your face, everyone I know looks people in the eyes, not the cheeks or forehead. My brother's the only person I know who analyzed my face, and that's because... well, he's just a loser.

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I can totally relate. I've avoided people for the past two months, except for work. I'm pretty much a hermit. It feels like everyone stares. Feels like a heavy weight is on my mind and heart and I can't shake it. I just feel mentally broken. I don't wish bad skin on anyone but it would be nice to know I'm not the only one! Seems like everyone else is clear.

When I was 80% clear and using Max Clarity, I used Ambi (which is hydroquinone) to fade spots. It worked very well. But now that I don't use Max Clarity I can't use Ambi because I'm sure it would cause breakouts. Maybe scars are better left to fade on their own.

Yeah im starting to think the same thing, about the scars, I think the more I do to it the longer it will take to fix itself. Ive decided to start the DKRegimen, its only been a week so i havent noticed anything significant, but ill continue to pray for you and all other acne sufferers! I hope both of our skins clear up! Good luck!

I can relate. I tend to be a hermit because of my skin....BUT I am trying to break that. I think I have gotten to a point where I know I need to be content with who I am despite my acne. I know I have missed so much in life because of it and I don't want to continue to miss out. Even if people are staring, I think that my personality is greater than my acne and if they don't see that, perhaps they aren't people I want to be around. But, I am the same with the hyperpigmentation...it really is terrible for me as well. I am not sure your skin tone but I am extremely fair and it seems as if that is a reason it shows so much more. I was using the Hydroquinone 2% as well and that actually helped a lot (even seemed to help the formation of acne for me) but it's so darn expensive! I used the murad brand and that's like $60. I've read there's some natural things you can do. I am currently using olive oil as part of the oil cleansing method to help the hyperpigmentation. I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks so it's hard to tell if it's working, but I know it has helped with blackheads a lot and makes my face way more moisturized with a nicer texture.

Yeah school starts again on wednesday and im not looking forward to it at all...=(. I guess on the bright side itll force me to get out of the house and maybe ill learn to cope with my condition better? Im darker olive skin tone so yea i agree the hyperpigmentation sucks donkey ballz lol. When I was doing research I found quite a few hydroquinone 2% products that were actaully quite cheap, but of course if what youre using has no adverse side affects and is working, shelling out the money isnt as big a deal!

Ohhh I feel the EXACT same way, I completely understand. I never would have felt so bad about my face if my stupid brother never commented on it. The one thing I recommend is to NOT analyze your face in the mirror. I have such a bad habit of doing that when trying to check if my hyper pigmentation faded, and it always just makes me feel worse about it. You just have to realize that people will not be analyzing your face, everyone I know looks people in the eyes, not the cheeks or forehead. My brother's the only person I know who analyzed my face, and that's because... well, he's just a loser.

Nothing more true than what you said about the mirror! I really try not to look but I seriously cant help it!! Seems like however hard i try i find myself in front of a mirror every hour or so maybe even more often! Doesnt help that my iphone has a front facing camera too so now im looking at it all the time. Im actaully trying to go on a mirror fast, limit myself to two mirror visits a day. So far not so good lol. And yes it is really depressing =(..And yeah my mom has a real talent at commenting on my face, its quite annoying.At this point I really wish i could fast forward in time in intervals of months and see how my see is lol.

I think this is literally the lowest self esteem ive ever had in my life, Read, dont read either way I need to vent. Several months ago I had a horrible breakout for no apparent reason, All over my cheeks and mouth area.Was healing up quite nicely and I had some hyperpigmentation left over. After doing some research I bought some Hydroquinone 2% and use it. Didnt patch test cause I am an idiot and it gave me really horrible redness. Stopped using it and redness went away after a week or so, pigmentation was darker, AND it broke me out severely. Worse breakout I ever had in my life. Still dealing with PIH and active pimples, And a huge cyst that wont go away and is purple for some reason. I hate looking in the mirror, yet all I do is stare at the mirror looking at how bad it is. Literally cant get my mind off it. I avoided my friends for over a month now, im so ashamed to go out of my room even. I look down when I talk to people or stand at weird angles so no one can see my face. Feels like everyone is staring. Honestly the worse part is not even the acne its the freakin hyperpigmentation! I dont even pick and i still get it! Seems like everyone else has perfect skin (or maybe everyone with bad skin is hiding away like me lol) I know at least in my family everyone has perfect skin. Its even worse when my mom makes a comment on how bad my skin is. NO one seems to understand. My brother will make a stupid comment about how bad his skin is when in reality theres literally NOTHING on his face. Makes me so mad! I know I shouldnt care but its so hard not to. I was a decent lookin fellow before this ughhghghgggg. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCHHHCHCH! I dont know if any of this even makes sense and not really sure what the point of this was, but it makes makes feel a little better to get it out.

The good thing here is that you have hit rock bottom, therefore you can start to come back up.

This has to happen for one to get better.

My advice is try to take stock of what is good in your life and try to focus on things that are important. If you do you may not focus so much on your skin.

Yeah thats true, seems as tho ive leveled out at rock bottom lately, but things tend to even out for me so rock bottom will even out with great things in the future! hopefully lol. Yeah really need to change my attitude, but not gunna lie it is extremely difficult to find the postives in life when im stuck in such a negative mindset. But anyway thanks for the support! Really helps lift my day when I talk to other people who understand!

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You know what I learned over the years...i had a couple horrible breakouts where my skin was scabbing and bleeding and just awful. You could see it from so far away. And I think the reason I felt so upset was because I felt like it would never ever get better or go away.. But everything months later it went away. And they haven't been as bad for a while now, but I will never forget how I felt. I actually had to serve when it was scabbing and blistering to the point that customers where disgusted because my boss didn't care..but it will get better. I stayed away from mirrors and simply avoided ppl as well as I could for 3 months. I know you'll get better :) and this time will be a distant memory.

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You know what I learned over the years...i had a couple horrible breakouts where my skin was scabbing and bleeding and just awful. You could see it from so far away. And I think the reason I felt so upset was because I felt like it would never ever get better or go away.. But everything months later it went away. And they haven't been as bad for a while now, but I will never forget how I felt. I actually had to serve when it was scabbing and blistering to the point that customers where disgusted because my boss didn't care..but it will get better. I stayed away from mirrors and simply avoided ppl as well as I could for 3 months. I know you'll get better smile.png and this time will be a distant memory.

Whats made this so hard for me to deal with is it was a breakout ontop of another horrible breakout. Literally the two worse breakouts in my life back to back. And the freaggin hyperpigmentation is killing me, doesnt leave or fade seems like.

After reading this a few times I realize that is also the source of my problems mentally, After waking up each day and seeing it there, im starting to beleive it wont ever go away. I pray 3 months from now ill have my normal skin again without all this craziness.

Thanks for your kind words tho, I think I really needed to hear that. Gives me hope and something to look forward to, just imagining the future with clear skin!

School starts again tommorrow and hated school before, but now im dreading it so much just because I have to face people AND do school stuff lol.

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I can totally relate. I've avoided people for the past two months, except for work. I'm pretty much a hermit. It feels like everyone stares. Feels like a heavy weight is on my mind and heart and I can't shake it. I just feel mentally broken. I don't wish bad skin on anyone but it would be nice to know I'm not the only one! Seems like everyone else is clear.

When I was 80% clear and using Max Clarity, I used Ambi (which is hydroquinone) to fade spots. It worked very well. But now that I don't use Max Clarity I can't use Ambi because I'm sure it would cause breakouts. Maybe scars are better left to fade on their own.

Yeah im starting to think the same thing, about the scars, I think the more I do to it the longer it will take to fix itself. Ive decided to start the DKRegimen, its only been a week so i havent noticed anything significant, but ill continue to pray for you and all other acne sufferers! I hope both of our skins clear up! Good luck!

>I can relate. I tend to be a hermit because of my skin....BUT I am trying to break that. I think I have gotten to a point where I know I need to be content with who I am despite my acne. I know I have missed so much in life because of it and I don't want to continue to miss out. Even if people are staring, I think that my personality is greater than my acne and if they don't see that, perhaps they aren't people I want to be around. But, I am the same with the hyperpigmentation...it really is terrible for me as well. I am not sure your skin tone but I am extremely fair and it seems as if that is a reason it shows so much more. I was using the Hydroquinone 2% as well and that actually helped a lot (even seemed to help the formation of acne for me) but it's so darn expensive! I used the murad brand and that's like $60. I've read there's some natural things you can do. I am currently using olive oil as part of the oil cleansing method to help the hyperpigmentation. I've only been doing it for a couple of weeks so it's hard to tell if it's working, but I know it has helped with blackheads a lot and makes my face way more moisturized with a nicer texture.

Yeah school starts again on wednesday and im not looking forward to it at all...=(. I guess on the bright side itll force me to get out of the house and maybe ill learn to cope with my condition better? Im darker olive skin tone so yea i agree the hyperpigmentation sucks donkey ballz lol. When I was doing research I found quite a few hydroquinone 2% products that were actaully quite cheap, but of course if what youre using has no adverse side affects and is working, shelling out the money isnt as big a deal!

Ohhh I feel the EXACT same way, I completely understand. I never would have felt so bad about my face if my stupid brother never commented on it. The one thing I recommend is to NOT analyze your face in the mirror. I have such a bad habit of doing that when trying to check if my hyper pigmentation faded, and it always just makes me feel worse about it. You just have to realize that people will not be analyzing your face, everyone I know looks people in the eyes, not the cheeks or forehead. My brother's the only person I know who analyzed my face, and that's because... well, he's just a loser.

Nothing more true than what you said about the mirror! I really try not to look but I seriously cant help it!! Seems like however hard i try i find myself in front of a mirror every hour or so maybe even more often! Doesnt help that my iphone has a front facing camera too so now im looking at it all the time. Im actaully trying to go on a mirror fast, limit myself to two mirror visits a day. So far not so good lol. And yes it is really depressing =(..And yeah my mom has a real talent at commenting on my face, its quite annoying.At this point I really wish i could fast forward in time in intervals of months and see how my see is lol.

I think this is literally the lowest self esteem ive ever had in my life, Read, dont read either way I need to vent. Several months ago I had a horrible breakout for no apparent reason, All over my cheeks and mouth area.Was healing up quite nicely and I had some hyperpigmentation left over. After doing some research I bought some Hydroquinone 2% and use it. Didnt patch test cause I am an idiot and it gave me really horrible redness. Stopped using it and redness went away after a week or so, pigmentation was darker, AND it broke me out severely. Worse breakout I ever had in my life. Still dealing with PIH and active pimples, And a huge cyst that wont go away and is purple for some reason. I hate looking in the mirror, yet all I do is stare at the mirror looking at how bad it is. Literally cant get my mind off it. I avoided my friends for over a month now, im so ashamed to go out of my room even. I look down when I talk to people or stand at weird angles so no one can see my face. Feels like everyone is staring. Honestly the worse part is not even the acne its the freakin hyperpigmentation! I dont even pick and i still get it! Seems like everyone else has perfect skin (or maybe everyone with bad skin is hiding away like me lol) I know at least in my family everyone has perfect skin. Its even worse when my mom makes a comment on how bad my skin is. NO one seems to understand. My brother will make a stupid comment about how bad his skin is when in reality theres literally NOTHING on his face. Makes me so mad! I know I shouldnt care but its so hard not to. I was a decent lookin fellow before this ughhghghgggg. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCHHHCHCH! I dont know if any of this even makes sense and not really sure what the point of this was, but it makes makes feel a little better to get it out.

The good thing here is that you have hit rock bottom, therefore you can start to come back up.

This has to happen for one to get better.

My advice is try to take stock of what is good in your life and try to focus on things that are important. If you do you may not focus so much on your skin.

Yeah thats true, seems as tho ive leveled out at rock bottom lately, but things tend to even out for me so rock bottom will even out with great things in the future! hopefully lol. Yeah really need to change my attitude, but not gunna lie it is extremely difficult to find the postives in life when im stuck in such a negative mindset. But anyway thanks for the support! Really helps lift my day when I talk to other people who understand!

It is indeed and it has to be a life style change. These take time but you'll get there.

Just remember you will still have low days on your journey but keep ya chin up.

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