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I am having a very bad day, feel deeply failed, scarred. Yesterday I took a picture of myself, I had such depressing eyes. They where almost closed. Then the flash light of the camera went on and my whole face is covered with scars. Besides scars on my face, I have scars on my whole body. I prefer to shower in the dark. I haven't had a good day in 6 years. I stopped my study and sometimes I have a hard time getting out of my house and do shopping. I feel emotionally tortured from all the days / years of stress and depression. I wonder how this could have happened, I used to be a happy and confident person.

Now I can never be who I want to be and I am 25, I feel different then I look.

Overal I am not happy with my life and how it's been the last decade. If something came by and killed me I would accept it with both arms and have a good excuse. I am not suicidal, Although I have been there at times. The main reason to go on is that I couldn't do this to my family and I don't want to be defeated by acne scarring, I believe something good will come.

Before scars I had a lot of trouble in my family with my brother becoming sick. Also my father developed a mental illness and my family broke up. So scarring was like from climbing the k2 for years and finding out I still had to climb mount everest.

Recently I had let a potential life partner past me by. I haven't dated in years. I have all the symptoms of BDD except that I have real bad scarring. I feel like a freak, a depressed freak. Who is trying to find some happiness and himself and can't find it anymore. All I can do now is hang on.

I am always nervous, always stressed.

Not seeing my friends anymore at daytime. I am sporting at night almost every day to keep my sanity. I have hopefull days and in september I am going for treatment. I am counting on CO2 fractional ablative and Recell to get some life quality back.

I'll be happy when summer is over, I have it easier in the winter when the nights are longer. I have bought a surfing suite and am starting swimming on thursday at a lake nearby. I have stopped smoking. Listening to music and even making music. So I am trying to get a better life. I know how to tackle depression and doing everything i can. I like helping other people with tips alhough at the moment I am not a great example. The only thing really bothering me for a happy life are scars. I have everything else going for me.

I might get into treatment for BDD, because I am completly obsessed lately. hoping for new technology to get rid of scarring.

Even if it took 3 years and knew for certain scars could be treated I would be happy.

Hope to wake up one day without any scars and depression. Hope one day the news will come that scars can be fixed and everyone suffering from this can be scar free. All I can do now is cope with it the best I can.

I'll be alright in a few days.

Edited by WinnieTheBlue

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Sorry to hear your feeling like that, I too only know that feeling to well. I have days of thinking positive and I can deal with it, 12 hours later if I catch a glimpse of my scars it can all go downhill and il feel negative again and there's no way out. Luckily I have a job now I was out of work for a bit due to my confidence issues I felt like a freak, gradually there will come a time where you won't nessasarily accept them but learn to live with them in a bit more of a positive light, also like you mentioned your getting some treatment done so it could be light at the end of the tunnel! Anyhow good luck I hope them treatments work for you, and keep ur chin up ;)

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I know the feeling sad.png Even a few scars on my face bothers me. I am trying to treat it naturally. I might do the Deep FX or wait for something new.

Edited by EddieE

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I by chance read your post and decided to sign up so i can reply.

I feel exactly the same. I am male, 24, have scars, find it hard to go out and socialize, try to avoid seeing myself in the mirror, am a musician and is thought to have BDD. Its good to here your story we are both in the same boat bro.

This is how you can get better:

1. Understand the fact that there ARE many many shallow, narcissistic, egotistical, cruel people and girls in the world who will judge and criticse people for their appearance and ugliness, but ALSO realise that there are people in the world who are like me and many others who don't value appearance, superiority, vanity and cruelty. To be happy, find these people, and become these people aswell.

2. You get what you give. Read about KARMA. It is the only philosophy that tell you why people suffer. If you are kind to people, help people, love people and are also completely not focused on your self then you will feel much better. Try to focus all your attention on others, want for others not yourself, give to others not yourself, think about others and not yourself in a mirror, be humble and accept you are not going to be Johnny Depp, Megafamous, popular or lusted over and spend your time you have helping and giving compassion to people who are in similar to worse positions than you. Maybe help younger generations who are going through the same thing. You can either leave the world when your 75 knowing you tried everyday to improve your appearance so that girls noticed you and you could get laid, or you could leave the world at 75 knowing you gave something to others.

3. When you get laser done and things improve and you reach happiness, NEVER forget what you have been through. We suffer so we learn to want less in the world and improve as a person. Like you referenced yourself, life is a battle for everyone, you have acne scars and family problems, others have financial issues, diseases, loss of loved ones, other forms of disfigurements, aging, loneliness. Beleive me, EVERYONE suffers considerably at some point, you are getting yours out of the way early.

4. Excercies everyday, workout, train to run marathons, joint running clubs, eat pure healthy food, get 9 hours sleep and maybe come off these forums. All this should help you feel better and more worthwhile.

5. Lastly, whenever you feel shit about your appearance and are scarred what people think, or you here people being cruel or shallow. Think about me. We are 'unplugged' from the system and are in exactly the same boat. And there are many more people. Also there are 7 billion people in this world and we live on a small planet in the depths of infinate space. Dont worry about anything

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Thank you!

Welcome to this forum and a very nice post.

1. Understand the fact that there ARE many many shallow, narcissistic, egotistical, cruel people and girls in the world who will judge and criticse people for their appearance and ugliness, but ALSO realise that there are people in the world who are like me and many others who don't value appearance, superiority, vanity and cruelty. To be happy, find these people, and become these people aswell.

This is actually a good tip, because it is the people with soul and spirit I like the best. The 'narcistic-materialistic- shallow people I don't want to hang out with actually influence me subconsiously. Even television shows the ugly person as bad, and pretty as goodness.There is a piece I read called the illussion of pretty as goodness. It is part of a judgemental view on myself that has been created and I am afraid of rejection in my weakness. While I should go hang out with people who don't judge at all and dare more to play open cards. If they don't like me then they can learn or stay away. This is something I will do more often.

The biggest problem is actually me finding myself not good enough. So I feel that my selfactualisation -which is very high on the maslow piramide- of who I want to be cannot be achieved with this problem. It is called cognitive dissonance and this causes the unhappy feelings and stress. I see my scarring as something that stand in the way of becoming and being me. This causes stress / obsession although I can't do much about it. In fact I am attacking myself because I want to change something about me that is permanent in the form of scars. The only way out of this maze is not to see scarring as a obstacle and thus stop attacking myself or getting rid of the scarring. This will stop cognitive dissonance.

2. You get what you give. Read about KARMA. It is the only philosophy that tell you why people suffer. If you are kind to people, help people, love people and are also completely not focused on your self then you will feel much better. Try to focus all your attention on others, want for others not yourself, give to others not yourself, think about others and not yourself in a mirror, be humble and accept you are not going to be Johnny Depp, Megafamous, popular or lusted over and spend your time you have helping and giving compassion to people who are in similar to worse positions than you. Maybe help younger generations who are going through the same thing. You can either leave the world when your 75 knowing you tried everyday to improve your appearance so that girls noticed you and you could get laid, or you could leave the world at 75 knowing you gave something to others.

I do believe in karma, although there are a lot of interpetations of the word. I am not a full karma believer. A part of me believes we are here to learn, experience, live and observe as a spectator. And being kind and having good karma will make a more fulfilled life. I am working on my karma because it has been in a mess, I help a lot of people and will be forever changed because of the things I have seen and been through.

I am vegetarian now only still far from having a clean karma. I am working on it to become something of a more controlled and genuine, helping person. I can be to much self involved because of the maze I am in. Although I don't believe in everything of buddhism, I very much believe in rigpa. I have read somewhat of buddhism and psychology and know the influence of negative and positive patterns and know it has a knowlegde to deal with life.

3. When you get laser done and things improve and you reach happiness, NEVER forget what you have been through. We suffer so we learn to want less in the world and improve as a person. Like you referenced yourself, life is a battle for everyone, you have acne scars and family problems, others have financial issues, diseases, loss of loved ones, other forms of disfigurements, aging, loneliness. Beleive me, EVERYONE suffers considerably at some point, you are getting yours out of the way early.

I hope laser will take me over to a point I can live with it more easy. I will never forget, I actually believe the same thing that we learn from life. And I will be forever changed for what happened the past years. I don't judge people or throw them away, no matter what. I always feel sorry for the weak and when I see someone in the train with scarring I just want to give him or her a miljon dollar and see them smile again.

Only I don't always see it when the plot seems to be missing. Some suffering doesn't seem to hold a lesson at all and other things clearly do have this effect, I don't know if suffering is there for a reason to learn, or we just learn from suffering. Someone will have to explain this to me after I die.

4. Excercies everyday, workout, train to run marathons, joint running clubs, eat pure healthy food, get 9 hours sleep and maybe come off these forums. All this should help you feel better and more worthwhile.

All these are good advice and I am already following them. I would be lost without them and probably in a even worse state. I makes a person feel their body for what it can do instead of how it looks. It keeps me out of constant depression, mostly after running I have a much stronger day.

5. Lastly, whenever you feel shit about your appearance and are scarred what people think, or you here people being cruel or shallow. Think about me. We are 'unplugged' from the system and are in exactly the same boat. And there are many more people. Also there are 7 billion people in this world and we live on a small planet in the depths of infinate space. Dont worry about anything

Yes I like the unplugged people, psychiatrist will probably try to diagnose every unplugged soul on earth. Good to know there are people like me around, and sorry to hear you are in the same boat. I hope it is not the titanic. Thank you, I wish you lots of love / hapiness and adventure in this and the next life.

Edited by WinnieTheBlue

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this post bought tears to my eyes i know what you are going thru ive been there for so long i hope you will find some way to look pass the acne scars and i hope your treatment goes well for you you and i are in the same boat.

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this post bought tears to my eyes i know what you are going thru ive been there for so long i hope you will find some way to look pass the acne scars and i hope your treatment goes well for you you and i are in the same boat.

this post bought tears to my eyes i know what you are going thru ive been there for so long i hope you will find some way to look pass the acne scars and i hope your treatment goes well for you you and i are in the same boat.

Thanks

All the boat references reminds me of a song from the waterboys.

Edited by WinnieTheBlue

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this post bought tears to my eyes i know what you are going thru ive been there for so long i hope you will find some way to look pass the acne scars and i hope your treatment goes well for you you and i are in the same boat.

this post bought tears to my eyes i know what you are going thru ive been there for so long i hope you will find some way to look pass the acne scars and i hope your treatment goes well for you you and i are in the same boat.

Thanks

All the boat references reminds me of a song from the waterboys.

pretty song

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I never reached that level of depression, all i can say is that i was wrong about people. As soon as my acne started to subside and i started to look good i opened my eyes in a sense. I saw couples happy together, despite the fact one of them had acne. I'd never seen this as i focused ALL of my attention to my skin.

There was one instance a few days ago when i went downstairs to the student common room and saw this girl with.. and i kid you not THE most severe acne i've ever seen in real life. Something that would put you to shame. To my astonishment, she continued to stroll by me and sit on this boys lap, this guy was obviously some kind of body builder god. He looked good. They were in love. That day I regained my faith, my belief that there are genuine people out there.

Thats not the only story i've got to tell i've got so many similar ones which have occurred in the past couple of weeks.

Like when this STUNNING girl rejects all the good looking guys and says she likes my friend. If you knew him you'd know that she based it entirely on his personality.

ALL THESE GODDAMN LOVE STORIES AND IT DIDNT WORK OUT FOR ME

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I understand your pain to some extent. No one can ever fully understand what anyone going through... or gone though. But I sympathise. You're a strong person, and its good to see you're seeing things differently. There's away hope.

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