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thirtyforthirty

i am doing this in order to prevent total hysteria

ugh i am having so much anxiety even writing on this board because i feel embarrased to talk about this with my friends, let alone strangers. anyway i am thirty years old and have had varying degrees of acne since early teens....definitely ups and downs but mostly just bad and not getting any better despite my age, which i always thought would be the "cure." i don't have HORRIFIC acne but my skin is a constant source of stress and occupies a place in my mind at almost all times. i have tried absolutely every single thing before accutane - change in diet, birth control pills (made it much worse!), various regimines (peter thomas roth, mario badescu), clarisonic, antibiotics, topicals, etc. endless failures. so one day last month i just hit a wall and left my office abruptly and took a cab to my dermatologist and basically cried "help!" she said accutane and i was freaked out because i know it has scary side effects and i worry about those, especially the depression since i am prone to strong emotions anyway, although not always a bad thing! anyway i debated and debated while going through the ipledge process and only discussed it with two of my friends - one said absolutely no, don't do it, your skin is fine (which it is not) and also my roommate, who is an actress and has struggled with her own skin issues and she said absolutely, take it. do it now and it will be worth it (she hasn't done it but has seriously considered it in the past). so yeah, today is my third day on 30 mg of accutane (claravis). initially my derm wanted to put me on 40 but i was concerned about the initial breakout and also was traveling overseas for work so didn't want to add stress on stress. i basically filled the prescription and carried it around the middle east with me for two weeks without taking it. i got home a few days ago and started without telling anyone. so i am going to give this whole journal thing a go because i have read other people's OBSESSIVELY and really hope for the same sort of feedback, advice, etc. i'm scared!

current conditions:

- skin is not great at all but wasn't before i started accutane. i don't have any painful cysts but have lots of little ugly red ones and i guess i can't touch them anymore? (i do this despite the knowledge it makes my skin worse. i cannot help it. literally. i hope i can help it now!)

- literally within 24 hours of taking my first pill my lips became insanely dry. i am one of those people who uses lip balm all day every day anyway but (thanks to the logs of other accutane users!) went out and bought some aquaphor and yep, you guys are right. new best friend.

- dry eyes but nothing eyedrops can't handle

I am now only using purpose cleanser and then my favorite french moisturizer i buy when i travel - embryolisse. it is rich but not pore clogging at all. i also use hauschka rose cream on really dry spots (pre-accutane) so i'm sure i'll be reaching for that from time to time. I guess i should take some supplements - vitamin e? fish oil? i haven't bought those yet.

I am really hoping things don't get too much worse before they start getting better but i guess i am going to do my best to push through no matter what. i am seriously DESPERATE for anything that will finally end the skin issues i have dealt with for FAR too long. life's too short to spend so much time worrying if people are judging your complexion as harshly as you judge it. so here i go! thanks for reading and any feedback would be AMAZING!

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Good luck to you!

It is def a hard process, and I know what you mean, it is very hard to talk to anyone about this!

If you ever need to vent, I will be here for you! Just drop me a message. Also, I have an accutane log here, too. I'm on day 12 of 20mg Claravis, and breaking out badly :( But I love supporting others bc I know I need the support too. Hopefully someday this will be a distant memory.

Lots of love!

Crystal

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Good luck to you!

It is def a hard process, and I know what you mean, it is very hard to talk to anyone about this!

If you ever need to vent, I will be here for you! Just drop me a message. Also, I have an accutane log here, too. I'm on day 12 of 20mg Claravis, and breaking out badly :( But I love supporting others bc I know I need the support too. Hopefully someday this will be a distant memory.

Lots of love!

Crystal

i know your log, i read it just before i decided i needed to write my own! thanks and i will def be venting! i am terrified of the breakout to come. i keep searching for people who don't have them but there aren't many of them! anyway, i'm already in so i guess i can't do much about it now other than stick with it!

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Good luck! Having acne in your 20s (now 30s for you) is so much worse, in my opinion. Everyone around you has cleared up and you are still stuck, looking like a high school student. And forget about feeling confident while dating lol.

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DAY 7 - one week into 30 mg of claravis. i am taking it in the middle of the day with one vitamin e capsule and two omega 3 capsules. i have noticed no real side effects other than the dry lips, for which i use aquaphor and it hasn't been a problem and also my eyes - they are dry and sting but eyedrops help. i don't think i have had an initial breakout yet (fingers crossed!) -- i would actually say that my face is a bit clearer than it has been recently but I could just be mentally airbrushing! also haven't experienced insane dryness of any sort... despite having acne, i have always been a manic moisturizer - usually to reverse the drying effects of harsh topical treatments but also because i have always been neurotic about wrinkles (seriously have used eye cream every night since the age of ten. no joke). so that's about it. i am using aveno calming face wash and my regular moisturizer and drinking a bit more water than usual. this weekend i finally told my boyfriend of over one year that i am taking accutane and then immeditately told him not to read up on it because i don't want him pinning any emotion i show in the next few months to the drug! joking aside, he is supportive and did the whole "you are beautiful to me no matter what" thing but it isn't about him! although the sentiment is nice. so that is where I am one week in. so far things are just fine....i hope they stay that way!!

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DAY 8 - still not much to report...I can't tell if this is because i am on too low a dose or if i have actually succeeded in neutralizing side effects before they start. i have been taking vitamin e and omega 3 with my claravis every day. washing my face with aveeno calming facewash, using my normal bioderma makeup remover (which is the absolute BEST makeup remover ever. also doubles as a cleanser for very sensitive skin. seriously it is worth the $20). moisturizing, eye dropping, aquaphoring my lips. haven't seen a big change in my skin either way...not breaking out more than usual, that's for sure. i really hope that doesn't mean the worst is yet to come but that's probably what will happen. it won't happen now, when i have no important events coming up or people visiting from out of town. maybe it won't happen at all?? (wishful thinking!) haven't really noticed that much change in my life at all to be honest. i'm even having a drink or two when i feel like it (my derm said this was ok). but when i DO drink i always have at least one glass of water to match whatever alcohol i have consumed. so far so good. I am going to the derm tomorrow because this was technically supposed to be day 30 - i waited to start my course until i returned from a big work trip to the middle east. so i don't know what she will have to say but I will continue to update! hope everyone else is doing well!!

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TWO WEEKS IN - so this is my fifteenth day i guess...still on 30 mg/day but i went to derm last week and the new prescription was for 40 mg so I will start that when my 30 mg pills run out. can't really say my skin has gotten WORSE in the past weeks but I am definitely noticing tiny whiteheads that only someone with their face pressed up to mine under really intense light would notice but i am noticing them in my daily face inspections! I'm doing a pretty good job not touching them, though. my eyes continue to be dry but i have bought some super-moisturizing eye drops and those work very well. i am using aquaphor on the hour every hour even if i don't "need" it so the lips have been fine so far...drinking lots of water, started taking my claravis with a glass of milk and i'm taking the omega 3 and vitamin e supplements then, too. hair is dry but i have been washing it every day anyway because i can't NOT and using biosilk and yesterday my boyfriend commented on my hair being soft so maybe that side effect has yet to come...i have been a bit headache-y but trying to drink more water to see if that helps. i haven't noticed the skin on my face getting any dryer but i am also neurotically moisturizing...the only new actives have been on my temples and some on my lower cheeks but this could be due to my period, which i had last week. my skin has DEFINITELY been worse than it is right now. in fact, i am surprised how smooth some parts of my face look already, like my nose and surrounding areas. but some people experience their initial breakout later than two weeks in, right? when can i safely say I have gotten through or avoided the initial breakout? i haven't stopped drinking because all my bloodwork is good and i haven't felt any worse after a drink or two so I think that's okay to do?? anyone else have input on that? i can't say i am any more tired than usual because i am ALWAYS tired - i have a job that i would say is more than a full-time job AND i go to grad school at night so i sleep about 5 hours a night. so far so good i guess. some days i am sooooo nervous about taking accutane and what impact it might have on my emotions/body and then most days i am just relieved that i finally made this decision and i can't wait for acne to be something i talk about in the past tense. it has been an almost 20 year battle. enough already. any advice/feedback for a person at this stage would be much appreciated! i've read the second month is harder than the first, etc. and would love to hear your stories so I don't feel so alone! thanks and hope everyone had a great long weekend (if you are in the US, that is!)

Edited by thirtyforthirty

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added two photos which aren't so informative as they were taken with my iphone - anyway the second you can see the current state of affairs with no face makeup. don't know why i look so angry in the first one - i guess that's how i "capture" myself! anyway i will continue to post photos, even if they are horrific...

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Hey there!

Well, you are absolutely gorgeous! And when you start feeling hysteria, you can alwasy take a peek at my pics, lol! I am worse off than you, and still pushing through, so I know you can as well!

Your skin doesn't look bad at all to me. We are always our own worst critics, but girl, I wish my PIH was as mild as yours!

Keep us all posted on your progress, and good luck!

Here's to clear skin!

Crystal

Edited by Crystal841

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Definitely try the biafine on your face, it is non-comedogenic, and it has really improved the overall quality of my skin... that is where I don't have cysts, lol.

I've been using it sparingly as a moisturizer and as a spot treatment on my pih, per my derm. It's def worth a shot. If it was going to clog pores, lord knows it would've happened to me already :)

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Wow, if that is you without make up...I honestly can not understand how you are eligible to take accutane. And I mean that as a compliment, I would LOVE to have your skin. It's looking really good and you're absolutely gorgeous to boot. Best wishes with your accutane journey.

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Definitely try the biafine on your face, it is non-comedogenic, and it has really improved the overall quality of my skin... that is where I don't have cysts, lol.

I've been using it sparingly as a moisturizer and as a spot treatment on my pih, per my derm. It's def worth a shot. If it was going to clog pores, lord knows it would've happened to me already :)

ok good to know! is yours biafine proper or prutect (the generic)? i think i got the generic...

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Wow, if that is you without make up...I honestly can not understand how you are eligible to take accutane. And I mean that as a compliment, I would LOVE to have your skin. It's looking really good and you're absolutely gorgeous to boot. Best wishes with your accutane journey.

Thanks for the compliment - i have to say though that it is definitely not a constant state of "fine" skin. Those photos represent a day that is maybe a 4 out of 10 in terms of the presence of acne. it can get much, much worse. also, i am THIRTY years old. i still break out like i did in high school! also the photos aren't as clear as they could be because they were taken on an iphone. and yes, my skin has been okay on accutane so far - i guess it is day 15? i am nervous to say i have noticed a slight improvement because i will probably jinx myself but i guess that's what this is all about! that's why these boards exist, right? everybody on the same roller coaster!

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first off you're really cute! secondly dont worry your treatment will go fine, it works for just about everyone...

yea it first it sucks because you break out ( the initial breakout) but from then after it starts to clear.

i'm on it too i've been on it for about a month and 2 weeks, my ib is starting to fade!

good luuck!

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first off you're really cute! secondly dont worry your treatment will go fine, it works for just about everyone...

yea it first it sucks because you break out ( the initial breakout) but from then after it starts to clear.

i'm on it too i've been on it for about a month and 2 weeks, my ib is starting to fade!

good luuck!

thanks for this! the constant feedback on these boards is amazing. good luck with your treatment!

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My derm gave me samples of biafine at first, and when I got the rx the pharm tried giving me prutect, but I asked for the brand name instead. Lol, I was too nervous to use the generic as I alrdy had exp w/ biafine.

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DAY 17 - still on 30 mg/day of claravis. Skin is under control at this point with just a few pimples at my temples and jawline. in the past 24 hours i have started to really notice the dryness on my face. I have been using a very gentle exfoliator in the morning - does anyone else do this on accutane? i have always used it - not a scrub, more like very fine beads. again, can't tell if the exhustion i am experiencing is the result of the pills or the result of my not having the luxury of sleeping more than 5 hours a night at best...i am feeling very anxious lately but don't know if that is due to accutane or due to the fact that work is stressful, i have a huge paper to finish by tomorrow afternoon and i am completely overwhelmed even thinking about it, i have to pick a graduate thesis topic soon, etc etc. i guess i could summarize today by saying my skin is fine - better than it has been at its worst, that's for sure. my mood is uneasy. i had an argument with my boyfriend last night (on the phone) and of course i defaulted to sort of aggravating my face while talking - not picking but searching for anything that might be the development of a pimple. i have been really good about not picking etc so far and that was my only setback so hopefully it was a one-time thing. i don't need to add new wounds to old wounds you know?

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DAY 18 - well i thought this was going GREAT. i had very few side effects and my skin was looking good. until last night. and today. i am definitely having an IB. mostly along my jawline and my temples but my forehead isn't at its best, either. my face is also peeling off in a way i didn't know it could. so that combonation is pretty spectacular. seriously it is like i notice something new every hour. how long do actives take to go away on accutane? any faster than normal? i'm not picking them out of fear of experiencing what others have described on these boards when they have picked so i am basically just letting them sit there. BOO!

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Yeah, my zits r alot diff now, it's crazy. I can't say they really go any faster for me at this point. Try the Biafine for your dry skin, seriously, I would not rec it if I didn't think was great!

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Yeah, my zits r alot diff now, it's crazy. I can't say they really go any faster for me at this point. Try the Biafine for your dry skin, seriously, I would not rec it if I didn't think was great!

I thought the biafine was sort of drying but maybe because that is because i have been using it to treat a burn? also i have the generic - prutect - so i wonder if i should get the real thing??

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This is officially horrific. in the past 24 hours my skin has become at least 60% worse than it had been. i don't even want to know how long this will last (except i do want to know!)

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Yeah, I wasn't risking the generic... My IB was horrid, started around day 10 and is still clearing. I know my acne is more severe than yours, so hopefully urs won't last as long :)

Chin up!

It WILL get better!

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DAY 21 - so yeah, this is definitely not good right now. i am breaking out a lot and i am very self-concious about it. i can't even specify where i am breaking out because it is pretty much everywhere - some places more noticable than others (like my forehead, where i NEVER break out). most are just little inflamed spots but i have one or two painful actives and i am doing my very best not to touch them. i guess all i can do is keep taking my pill every day and in less than one week i am bumped up to 40 mg. i other than that the side effects have been totally manageable. i just really wish my skin had stayed how it was during the first week or two of my course! this is discouraging to say the least...

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I broke out reallllyyyy badly about two weeks in, it was horrid. The darkest marks u see in my pics are all from that IB, blah.... Hopefully the big ones are done, but I'm constantly checking every clogged pore to see if it's growing, lol!

There's not much to do at this point but hold on for the ride, and just know this is a cure for soooo many people!

Stay positive girly!

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Hello=)

I bring greetings from Singapore(if you know where that is)

This is officially my first post i'm so excited! I saw your Logs and i wanted to follow the most recent ones so we can embark on this accutane journey together. I got my 30mg pills today, waiting on the blood test to start my epic journey to flawless skin! HAHAHA i hope so......

Anyways i dont really know what else to say but the support here has been amazing, so cheers! I'll be starting my accutane soon and i'm sure we will all pull through looking alot like Brad pitt and Angelina Jolie :lol:

Keep us posted and we are always here to encourage you!

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