Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Matt303

Acne and meeting women

Recommended Posts

I've had acne for nearly 20 years of my life now. My acne has gone in cycles thru the years. Sometimes very moderate to sometimes quite sever. I have scars on my shoulders and face.

I have found that it's worst effects are psychological. Approaching the opposite sex has always been tough for me. Mainly because when I have a big pimple on the side of my mouth it's hard the look anyone in the eye, let alone win a kiss from them. Going swimming is practically a phobia. I've had one meaningful relationship in my life, in my mid-twenties when my acne was more moderate. Other than that I've had one or two "ships passing in the night" relationships for a few months.

My acne has blown' up yet again. With one or two deep red bumps on my back and pimples around my mouth. As soon as one begins to disappear another takes it's place. I'm on Accutane for the third time in my life (and probably the last) with moderate results thus far. Over the last three or four months I've felt depression creeping in again. I'm surrounded by friends and family, yet still I feel lonely. I'm a fit and handsome guy (if not for the zits) according to what society dictates as beauty. But I find a vanity within myself that just can't accept the acne.

This is the barrier that has kept me single for about five years now.

I don't really have a question. Other then something like, is there a website like acnedate.com? LOL

I'm more a less happy, but I could stand to be happier.

All the best everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

haha i also had somethin like that on my mind, wouldn't that be great if there was such a thing as acnedate.com site ,at least we could date somebody that wont be turned off by the acne on our face and wouldn't find us any less attractive because of them.Keep ur head up though accutane should clear u up soon!I am on retin a currently going through the worst stages of it thats keeping me locked inside till i clear u,p was on accutane 2 years ago as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i can barely stand to talk to my mates let alone women lol. my experiences with the opposite sex are horrible. my mate once set me up with this girl who also had severe acne and she was so nice an friendly and didnt seem to care at all about how she looked and ther i was covering my face barely talking :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never had hard time approaching the opposite sex. Initially it was hard, yes. But personality plays the major on women. I have won a lot of good looking girls while I was breaking out but that just means you have to step up your game and have a witty/spontaneous personality.

Smiling a lot also makes you look positive as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel but honestly,

Just ignore the acne and talk to or ask out who you would want to because in reality - if a woman would totally knock you back for having some spots do you really think that it would last long with her ?

Think about it - people like the worlds fattest man have found love so i dont think one of the most common skin complaints in the world is going to isolate you completely (: just dont let yourself be the cause.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I don't really have a question. Other then something like, is there a website like acnedate.com? LOL

Oh man, there's a market for that. Money to be made too, with advertising and all.

If I had even the first idea of how to go about setting that up, I swear I'd be all over that idea! :lol: Maybe Dan can help us out? :D

None of my dating experience or attempts at asking girls out came while my acne was bad. Hell, I was hardly every out of the house, never mind dating!

Since I got to grips with my skin and it's looking better, I've asked two girls out so far this year. Granted, that's almost none, but I really didn't have a clue before so I guess I'm taking baby steps. :lol:

The first girl was a friend of a friend so that was kind of easier. Didn't come to anything though, don't think she was too interested in the end. Then a couple of weeks ago I saw a girl in a bar who I really liked and I just walked up and said hi. Bought her a drink, talked for ages, swapped numbers. Easy as that. No idea how I managed it! :lol:

We set up a date but she cancelled, and now she tells me she met someone else. :cry:

It's hurt me to be honest, given that my self esteem was obviously shot to pieces because of my history with my skin anyway, so I'm struggling to pick myself up.

The main area I think where we run into problems is understanding, or rather the lack of understanding from other people. Take the girl in the bar for example: she doesn't know my history or my skin problems, and would have had no idea how much of a big deal it was for me to do what I did. For all I know, she has guys walking up to her in bars all the time, so I would would be just another guy. But I've never done it before so the fact it went well and she said yes was amazing. Only I ended up getting shot down in the worst possible way.

So as far as the understanding goes, there would surely just be a lot more of it from people who can relate and are looking for a partner, just like you or I might be. I would imagine that people with acne would be taking that sort of thing into account when meeting. For example, if I met a girl in a bar who had acne, and she introduced herself to me, I would know right away that doing so might have taken some guts and that maybe she might not have a lot of confidence, etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank You for all the kind words. It's great to have a web community like this. Well done Dan (founder) and company.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×