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JayeDee

I must have sold out on mankind or something in a past life

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I haven't been on this forum for a long while, but today I just can't help it.

I've had acne since I was 14, and slowly I've come to believe that maybe I'm being punished for something. Maybe I wasn't nice enough to people. Maybe I should have cared more for others than I should have...

I've developed a bad habit of hiding away. It first used to be that I didn't go out to see friends sometimes on a few occasions...but now I don't go out. Ever. My freshman year of high school, I tried so desperately to change this, so I started hanging out with new friends at every chance I got. But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it. Then I realized that the desire to hide away wasn't all that acne helped me develop... I just felt inferior to everybody all the time.

I know my family would think I'm crazy if I told them this, but I do. I feel inferior to others; especially if they have amazing skin. Especially when they try to advise me on skin care... I wish I could show them all the emotional and physical pain I put myself through trying to get clear skin. All the painful laser treatments and burning creams that came with empty hopes and promises. I gave up eating "bad" foods, like wheat, milk, dairy, and anything processed in hopes of curing it. But still I have this, and the clear-skinned girls sitting across from me are enjoying their delicious processed cakes and shit trying to give me advice on skincare.

I look at my skin in the mirror and I don't even know where to start. All the disgusting enlarged pores and zits on my face... it's disgusting. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel worthy of anything.

Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Ugh... does anyone else feel like this? Or remotely feel like this... :wall:

Maybe it's because I went on facebook today and bumped into a photo album of this girl I knew in high school. She had such gorgeous skin... she's pursuing her dreams of becoming a model. She's already been on at least 15 commercial photoshoots for magazine ads. She's the same age as I am--20 years old.

I feel like acne took away my teen years.

And the worst part is--that I let it.

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I turned down a job offer about a year ago because it would involve my face being the center of attention. I avoid people constantly. I've probably eaten half of my daily recommended Caloric intake in the last month because I'm trying to "eliminate" factors. I turn down people frequently for dinners/parties/dates. I had surgery a few months ago and I spent more time thinking about my skin than my recovery. I'll be twenty in a month and I don't feel like I can come anywhere close to leading the life I want to unless I can get clear.

It's kinda depressing. I don't feel like I'm being punished, really. I feel like I'm being taught a difficult lesson.

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I haven't been on this forum for a long while, but today I just can't help it.

I've had acne since I was 14, and slowly I've come to believe that maybe I'm being punished for something. Maybe I wasn't nice enough to people. Maybe I should have cared more for others than I should have...

I've developed a bad habit of hiding away. It first used to be that I didn't go out to see friends sometimes on a few occasions...but now I don't go out. Ever. My freshman year of high school, I tried so desperately to change this, so I started hanging out with new friends at every chance I got. But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it. Then I realized that the desire to hide away wasn't all that acne helped me develop... I just felt inferior to everybody all the time.

I know my family would think I'm crazy if I told them this, but I do. I feel inferior to others; especially if they have amazing skin. Especially when they try to advise me on skin care... I wish I could show them all the emotional and physical pain I put myself through trying to get clear skin. All the painful laser treatments and burning creams that came with empty hopes and promises. I gave up eating "bad" foods, like wheat, milk, dairy, and anything processed in hopes of curing it. But still I have this, and the clear-skinned girls sitting across from me are enjoying their delicious processed cakes and shit trying to give me advice on skincare.

I look at my skin in the mirror and I don't even know where to start. All the disgusting enlarged pores and zits on my face... it's disgusting. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel worthy of anything.

Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Ugh... does anyone else feel like this? Or remotely feel like this... :wall:

Maybe it's because I went on facebook today and bumped into a photo album of this girl I knew in high school. She had such gorgeous skin... she's pursuing her dreams of becoming a model. She's already been on at least 15 commercial photoshoots for magazine ads. She's the same age as I am--20 years old.

I feel like acne took away my teen years.

And the worst part is--that I let it.

Everything you just said and more, pal.

I don't know what to say, because I'm in the dumps right now. But I totally feel you on that. I'm pretty sure we're being punished for SOMETHING we did in a past life. :doubt:

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I'll be twenty in a month and I don't feel like I can come anywhere close to leading the life I want to unless I can get clear.

Oh my gosh you pretty much summarized how I've been feeling for the past several years in one sentence.

I just hate how people (who haven't been affected by acne) blow it off like it's nothing. My relatives make me feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Ugh. :[

Sorry for dumping all this negativity...but just had to let it blow out somewhere... :/

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I feel just like you guys I'm 26 and my skin finally is feeling and looking better. It just makes me think of all the things I've missed out on with friends, opportunities, relationships. I'm gonna change things

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But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it.

^ That reminds me of way back when I was obsessed with my looks due to my scarring. I collapsed in the streets. I swear everything (the anxiety, the remarks, the constant thinking) just overwhelmed me; I couldn't handle it and I almost got dizzy while walking home one day and I broke down into tears in the middle of the street. Almost fell to the ground. Luckily, a friend walked by at that particular moment (what are the odds, eh?) and he drove me home. But it was awful. This was many years ago, though. I've gotten past it since.

Don't let acnay ruin your life, ok? Just try to let it go. I know it's hard but...you have to try. It's probably a lot less detractive from your looks than you think. And the people who mind don't matter and the people who don't mind...well, you know the rest.

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I haven't been on this forum for a long while, but today I just can't help it.

I've had acne since I was 14, and slowly I've come to believe that maybe I'm being punished for something. Maybe I wasn't nice enough to people. Maybe I should have cared more for others than I should have...

I've developed a bad habit of hiding away. It first used to be that I didn't go out to see friends sometimes on a few occasions...but now I don't go out. Ever. My freshman year of high school, I tried so desperately to change this, so I started hanging out with new friends at every chance I got. But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it. Then I realized that the desire to hide away wasn't all that acne helped me develop... I just felt inferior to everybody all the time.

I know my family would think I'm crazy if I told them this, but I do. I feel inferior to others; especially if they have amazing skin. Especially when they try to advise me on skin care... I wish I could show them all the emotional and physical pain I put myself through trying to get clear skin. All the painful laser treatments and burning creams that came with empty hopes and promises. I gave up eating "bad" foods, like wheat, milk, dairy, and anything processed in hopes of curing it. But still I have this, and the clear-skinned girls sitting across from me are enjoying their delicious processed cakes and shit trying to give me advice on skincare.

I look at my skin in the mirror and I don't even know where to start. All the disgusting enlarged pores and zits on my face... it's disgusting. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel worthy of anything.

Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Ugh... does anyone else feel like this? Or remotely feel like this... :wall:

Maybe it's because I went on facebook today and bumped into a photo album of this girl I knew in high school. She had such gorgeous skin... she's pursuing her dreams of becoming a model. She's already been on at least 15 commercial photoshoots for magazine ads. She's the same age as I am--20 years old.

I feel like acne took away my teen years.

And the worst part is--that I let it.

Models are filthy creatures, don't be a model! :)

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im exactly the same. its horrible. ill try hide myself away so no one can see what a state my face is - and when i do lock myself away, not leaving and if i ever do - only at night time, i dont meet up with anyone for months and months. But as soon as I do meet up with people in a public area - i go all hot, sweaty, feel sick, feel as if everyone is watching me and just feel in general an ugly person!

I 100% know where you are coming from.

If i was you, i would stick to this form - this forum is helping me and making me feel 100% better about myself even though my skin isn't going. Hearing from people who are dealing or who have delt with the problems you are going through.

Have you tried rubbing stuff like Palmers cocoa butter on your scars and using a BP and applying it on your spots directly? Also going to a sauna/steam room helped me too (or just boil some water from a kettle and pour it into a pan and maybe add some tea tree oil drops into the pan and put a towel over your face and just let the steam do its magic). Also go for jogs or runs or something as the fresh air will only do positive things for it!

Good luck!

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I haven't been on this forum for a long while, but today I just can't help it.

I've had acne since I was 14, and slowly I've come to believe that maybe I'm being punished for something. Maybe I wasn't nice enough to people. Maybe I should have cared more for others than I should have...

I've developed a bad habit of hiding away. It first used to be that I didn't go out to see friends sometimes on a few occasions...but now I don't go out. Ever. My freshman year of high school, I tried so desperately to change this, so I started hanging out with new friends at every chance I got. But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it. Then I realized that the desire to hide away wasn't all that acne helped me develop... I just felt inferior to everybody all the time.

I know my family would think I'm crazy if I told them this, but I do. I feel inferior to others; especially if they have amazing skin. Especially when they try to advise me on skin care... I wish I could show them all the emotional and physical pain I put myself through trying to get clear skin. All the painful laser treatments and burning creams that came with empty hopes and promises. I gave up eating "bad" foods, like wheat, milk, dairy, and anything processed in hopes of curing it. But still I have this, and the clear-skinned girls sitting across from me are enjoying their delicious processed cakes and shit trying to give me advice on skincare.

I look at my skin in the mirror and I don't even know where to start. All the disgusting enlarged pores and zits on my face... it's disgusting. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel worthy of anything.

Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Ugh... does anyone else feel like this? Or remotely feel like this... :wall:

Maybe it's because I went on facebook today and bumped into a photo album of this girl I knew in high school. She had such gorgeous skin... she's pursuing her dreams of becoming a model. She's already been on at least 15 commercial photoshoots for magazine ads. She's the same age as I am--20 years old.

I feel like acne took away my teen years.

And the worst part is--that I let it.

hey, i know no words are gonna make up for what you have lost...but let me tell you i am where you are at right now...and i know how much it hurts. i am having my holidays right now, and all i do is cry.its on my mind the whole day. even when its chritmas, i mean sometimes i d just wish santa claus and even god would give me non- oily skin and everyhing that makes me a carefree individual.... but i dont know, maybe we were meant to find our path to happines....i dont know....but all i cn say is that you re not alone....and lets try to find whats causing acne.

rebel

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I am 40 and dealing with acne and have so since I was 15. My heart aches for you.

I have question. What are you doing right now to control your acne? The reason I am asking is that I have just been put on Spirolactone and from what the forums say it is highly effective. (Only women can use Spiro.) I had never heard of it until last week. I think you need to be on the pill while on it. Check it out on the forums and talk to your doctor. I have not yet had the chance to see if it is going to work but from what the forums say I have a little HOPE!

yup_yup

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I haven't been on this forum for a long while, but today I just can't help it.

I've had acne since I was 14, and slowly I've come to believe that maybe I'm being punished for something. Maybe I wasn't nice enough to people. Maybe I should have cared more for others than I should have...

I've developed a bad habit of hiding away. It first used to be that I didn't go out to see friends sometimes on a few occasions...but now I don't go out. Ever. My freshman year of high school, I tried so desperately to change this, so I started hanging out with new friends at every chance I got. But in the end, three months later, I ended up breaking down in tears... I just couldn't handle it. Then I realized that the desire to hide away wasn't all that acne helped me develop... I just felt inferior to everybody all the time.

I know my family would think I'm crazy if I told them this, but I do. I feel inferior to others; especially if they have amazing skin. Especially when they try to advise me on skin care... I wish I could show them all the emotional and physical pain I put myself through trying to get clear skin. All the painful laser treatments and burning creams that came with empty hopes and promises. I gave up eating "bad" foods, like wheat, milk, dairy, and anything processed in hopes of curing it. But still I have this, and the clear-skinned girls sitting across from me are enjoying their delicious processed cakes and shit trying to give me advice on skincare.

I look at my skin in the mirror and I don't even know where to start. All the disgusting enlarged pores and zits on my face... it's disgusting. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't feel worthy of anything.

Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Ugh... does anyone else feel like this? Or remotely feel like this... :wall:

Maybe it's because I went on facebook today and bumped into a photo album of this girl I knew in high school. She had such gorgeous skin... she's pursuing her dreams of becoming a model. She's already been on at least 15 commercial photoshoots for magazine ads. She's the same age as I am--20 years old.

I feel like acne took away my teen years.

And the worst part is--that I let it.

Well, look at one good thing, you have a way with expressing well with words how you really feel, because you just explained my exact emotions and feelings. While I can't give you the cure because I have yet to find it, heck it feels good to know you're not alone. Acne takes over my life, literally. Its all I can think about and can stop me from doing all the things that would normally bring joy. The worse part is those stupid girls with stupid beautiful skin that just think I eat too much chocolate or need to try proactive. Or those tv shows or just people in general who joke about having acne and don't realize that it causes so many people agonizing pain.

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Ever since I was little, I had so much I wanted to accomplish.... I wanted to go overseas to my parents' country and become an actress or a model. Of course, I've never told anyone this in real life because they'd be on the ground laughing if I told them. Hell, even you might be.

Dont worry no one will be laughing we will all be supporting you. We are all battling acne together and someday we will succeed. I hope that your dreams in becoming an actress or a model will come true. Best of luck~

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