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MINIac

How my self esteem plummeted within one hour

So, I just wanted to vent for a minute before I go lay down and cry.... I just came to a realization tonight that I would like to share with you all.

First off, I will never EVER shop at Sephora again. Before going there, I already knew exactly what foundation and blush I wanted based on research and reviews I invested quite a bit of time on, and I drove about an hour away (actually over an hour if you tag on the time spent sitting in traffic!) just to buy the products since that is the closest store. I had to go there personally since I didn't know what colors I needed for my skin type, and I need the products NOW for a job interview I have next Wednesday.

Let me tell you about my experience. Forewarning: I am sorry about the rant. I did NOT get what I wanted. (Seems to be a constant trend since I just dealt with the exact same thing a few days ago at a Merle Norman salon.) Felt obligated to buy products, yet again (same as with MN). I went straight for the Tarte stain blush since I could not find the foundation. I asked one of the saleswomen if she could help me find a nice color of the blush and she tried to get me a make-up person to help me try the make-up on (the make-up woman ended up walking right out the door knowing that I was supposed to be getting prepped for her). So, the woman prepped me, and she tore me apart! This last few months have been wonderful for me since I have managed to get rid of ALL my acne. I was gaining my self esteem back and just felt so wonderful about myself for the progress my face has made since I have had acne for almost TWO DECADES. I mean, I know that my face needs some work with the hyperpigmentation of previous acne and unbalanced skin tone, and all the dryness and such, but damn! So, she says (pulling out my card of issues she wrote up for me) that my face is dehydrated, my lips are dehydrated, I need to start using anti-bacterial cleansers, I need to use a firming toner, some sort of activator, some cleaning and hydrating mask, I need to change my pillowcases EVERY night, it goes on and on. She didn't push the products on me that she was Reping for, though.

I finally get to the make-up woman and she didn't listen to a damn word I said. I told her that I wished to go with a fellow Acne.org member's recommendation for a foundation. I looked it up online beforehand, read how wonderful it was, and decided that I wanted to at LEAST try it on. Basically, she refused to put it on me. She told me how horrible the stuff was, that it didn't last, that she used to work for the company, and that it was a bad product. I think she is a Rep. for Nars because that is the only brand she would put on me. I told her that I WANTED the Tarte stain blush (I drove an hour away to get that and the foundation!!!!!) and she told me "You need to trust me. I am a professional" and she used her Nars powder blush on me (called "Orgasm" :rolleyes: ). I was not happy with the way the foundation looked. It did not cover or blend very well but she refused to put on what I wanted her to put on and they did not even offer me samples. The blush is okay, but I really wanted a stain since I can build applications to what is right for me. So, I told her that I would take most of the stuff and she had a salesman put it in the bag for use during shopping. I now ended up with foundation I did not want. The eyeshadow I bought is okay, but I am not sure how it is to be put on (a two color deal... a light mauve looking color and a medium olive green color). The lipstick is also okay, but very drying. To be honest, I had planned on just using my Carmex peach tinted moisturizing balm. Natural, but with a tiny hint of color. And moisture. And SPF. Anyway, I ended up getting another saleswoman to return the blush and eyeliner and I DID go back and get the Tarte that I wanted... but now I am just not sure how it will look or stand up throughout the day since the woman refused to put it on me so that I could actually try it to see first how it looked.

Later, another saleswoman said that I need to start working on my face so that once I do that, I won't have to worry about buying make-up and all this because my face will be so wonderful that I won't need it. That is what I have been TRYING to do! I have been TRYING to clear up acne so that my skin tone can be even! Then, maybe I won't have to buy all this crap to cover up all the imperfections! DUH!!!! As it is, I HATE make-up! This is why I never wear it. It is nothing but a waste of time, and a waste of money (I won't even TELL you how much was spent tonight on that crap... just for a job interview... a one time use). So, my self esteem plummeted tonight and I am really depressed and thinking about not even bothering to go to the interview anymore and completely quitting the regimen and Dan's DKR products altogether. What is the point? No matter what I do to my skin, no matter how much money I spend, no matter how much time I spend (and I spend quite a bit of time between the regimen, adding additional moisturizer for my extremely dry skin, eye creams, and SPF), my skin is and essentially always will be f**ked.

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damn.. that sucks! those sephorans(?) saleswoman were assholes. you want me to kick ass and take names? anyway, hug a pillow tightly and feel better :)

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See, this is why I hate the makeup world. They expect your skin to be perfect before you even put makeup on in the first place, with as many useless creams as they can think of. If you look up a makeup guru on youtube and look at any skincare or foundation routine video they use SO, MANY PRODUCTS.... it's absolutely insane.

They're the kind of people who think mild acne needs accutane. :rolleyes: I know I'm generalizing but I get the feeling they take the media's image of beauty as the actual norm and that people with sub-perfect skin just aren't spending enough HUNDREDS of dollars and spending HOURS everyday on looking perfect.

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This makes me angry inside. I'm sorry girl. Seriously sorry. I've had bad experiences with derms before. i know how you feel. Just keep trucking. Forget the bullshit.

You are beautiful. Never freaking forget it.

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I'll remember to never ask them to match my foundation color or anything like that. I never really realized they would be like that but then again I always avoid them. Don't take others opinions to personally. It's okay if it gets to you but wake up tomorrow and change your mindset. My doctor who isn't even a dermatologist kept recommending I go on accutane or antibiotics because my acne is so bad. I knew it was bad but I was trying to stick to my regimen and gut it out. I got over it and I know people who never had acne don't understand so it's not a big deal. Keep your head up high and don't worry about what other people say. You know more about what's right for you than anybody else. Everything they have to say about skincare could be completely wrong (and most definitely is) because it is all just OPINIONS. Doctors are too dumb to realize all the things that play an impact in the formation of acne and they've went to school for 10+ years. Everybody is brainwashed by something and I guarantee that woman has never had bad acne. If she did she probably wouldn't be critiquing your skin because she would know how emotionally sensitive you would be about it.

Word of advice: never take advice about skincare from somebody you just met. Nobody who has had bad acne would just walk up to you and give you advice on your skin. People who have had acne have common sense and know that is very rude and ignorant.

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Totally well said man. You have your expectations of yourself and she had hers. Hers do not matter. NOt one BIT. She is a tiny dot on your life map. Relax tonight. And tell yourself you're going to have the skin YOU want. And that nobody is perfect... because they aren't. Really. All those magazines and movies that we all compare ourselves too... AIRBRUSHED. My sister works for a company. She's shown me the before and after raw.... and let me tell you, insane!

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damn.. that sucks! those sephorans(?) saleswoman were assholes. you want me to kick ass and take names? anyway, hug a pillow tightly and feel better :)

LOL Thanks for that. I really needed it! :)

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See, this is why I hate the makeup world. They expect your skin to be perfect before you even put makeup on in the first place, with as many useless creams as they can think of. If you look up a makeup guru on youtube and look at any skincare or foundation routine video they use SO, MANY PRODUCTS.... it's absolutely insane.

They're the kind of people who think mild acne needs accutane. :rolleyes: I know I'm generalizing but I get the feeling they take the media's image of beauty as the actual norm and that people with sub-perfect skin just aren't spending enough HUNDREDS of dollars and spending HOURS everyday on looking perfect.

Yeah, that is the norm for them... all the beautiful people. That is why I am frustrated about the whole damn thing. I read online some make-up tips for a job interview. It states to wear make-up (not a lot... just a natural look). If not, it would look unprofessional and as if we just didn't care enough, so why would they want to hire us? That is BS! I understand looking our best, but men don't have to spend nearly as long as we do to prepare... from the hair to the make-up to the pantyhose or whatever. They have acne and it is overlooked... nothing that can be done about it. We go in with acne but no make-up and we are just unprofessional and immediately eliminated since we didn't take the time to do something about it since it is EXPECTED of us as women. Complete rubbish!

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This makes me angry inside. I'm sorry girl. Seriously sorry. I've had bad experiences with derms before. i know how you feel. Just keep trucking. Forget the bullshit.

You are beautiful. Never freaking forget it.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. It is okay. I understand that it is their job to break us down and make us insecure so that we are forced to "fix" the problem and buy their stuff, but is just kills me that I have been spending a ton of time and money the last 18 years to clear up the acne to get to the point where make-up is not necessary and now even my clearness is being picked at and not good enough. My belief that if I just clear up then it will all be over was trampled on and replaced with more insecurities.

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Learn to say NO. And mean it. Return all that stuff you bought. Get what you went for in the first place. Complain to management. If you can't complain in person, write a letter.

Again: LEARN TO SAY NO.

I'm sorry you had such a horrid experience. But you CAN get past this by saying No in the future. If the person won't listen...you turn around and WALK AWAY. If someone keeps pestering you, tell him/her to leave you alone so you can shop in peace.

Edit: Your self-esteem will go through the roof once you've said no once and followed through on it. :)

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I'll remember to never ask them to match my foundation color or anything like that. I never really realized they would be like that but then again I always avoid them. Don't take others opinions to personally. It's okay if it gets to you but wake up tomorrow and change your mindset. My doctor who isn't even a dermatologist kept recommending I go on accutane or antibiotics because my acne is so bad. I knew it was bad but I was trying to stick to my regimen and gut it out. I got over it and I know people who never had acne don't understand so it's not a big deal. Keep your head up high and don't worry about what other people say. You know more about what's right for you than anybody else. Everything they have to say about skincare could be completely wrong (and most definitely is) because it is all just OPINIONS. Doctors are too dumb to realize all the things that play an impact in the formation of acne and they've went to school for 10+ years. Everybody is brainwashed by something and I guarantee that woman has never had bad acne. If she did she probably wouldn't be critiquing your skin because she would know how emotionally sensitive you would be about it.

Word of advice: never take advice about skincare from somebody you just met. Nobody who has had bad acne would just walk up to you and give you advice on your skin. People who have had acne have common sense and know that is very rude and ignorant.

Thanks! Good points. All good points indeed. I am just very sensitive and the fact that I have invested so much time and money and having it pay off (at least in my eyes until that moment) and then be informed that I was wrong in the way it was done. But you are right. If they understood, they probably would have at the very least gone about it in some other way that was more tactful and less offensive to someone struggling.

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I wish I could take you shopping. We'd teach them some manners. :P

LOL And you are right, I need to learn to say no, but I am just so concerned with hurting other's feelings or offending them in any way. This is why after the products were retrieved for me and placed in the bag, I walked around for a while trying to figure out some way to return the products while she wasn't looking (she stayed around that isle). I finally decided to get the blush that I drove an hour to get (which I tried on today and so far am SO happy I went back and got), and got another saleswoman to take the rest of the make-up that I knew I didn't want (the blush and eyeliner). I am planning on returning the eyeshadow (she picked out a beautiful combination of colors in a shimmer... a shimmer of tiny glitter that deposits around the under eye area and gets in the eye as well... NOT something I need to be dealing with for a JOB INTERVIEW that will last anywhere from 3-6 hours, and yes, she knew beforehand that this was for an interview), and the lipstick/lipliner thing. The foundation I am still debating on because it does look a lot better than the FULL coverage, mask looking stuff I got from Merle Norman. But yeah. No more. My complexes just keep adding up. Sephora = BAD!!!!! Sephora = The store to get a complex (or a worse one).

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You're there to buy ONLY if you want to. They're there to GET you to buy, you have to learn to say no. :P They're used to people saying no. You get used to it, too. it's not a matter of hurt feelings, it's a matter of your pocket book and YOUR feelings. ;) Stand up for them.

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Return what you don't want-- I think they have to take it back as long as you have the receipt... I once bought some kind of DDF cleanser/toner that made me break out in a nasty rash, and they refunded me with no questions asked.

Whenever I go in there (on occasion) I just tell people who constantly ask me if I need help "No, thanks! I'm just looking!" Or "I'm just waiting here to meet up with a friend"...

If you find it hard to dodge sales repts, it also helps if you go in there on a busy day-- like on a weekend in the afternoon when it's packed with people and the sales reps are hunting for people who look like they have $$$ to spend.

I haven't had any bad experiences at a Sephora, personally, but I imagine some sales reps are a lot pushier than others. Sounds like maybe you got caught up with a rep from a particular makeup company. You could also go hardcore and write a letter to them to the corporate office about that particular person, maybe they'll compensate you somehow. If she irritated you, she probably annoyed other customers, too...

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See, this is why I hate the makeup world. They expect your skin to be perfect before you even put makeup on in the first place, with as many useless creams as they can think of. If you look up a makeup guru on youtube and look at any skincare or foundation routine video they use SO, MANY PRODUCTS.... it's absolutely insane.

They're the kind of people who think mild acne needs accutane. :rolleyes: I know I'm generalizing but I get the feeling they take the media's image of beauty as the actual norm and that people with sub-perfect skin just aren't spending enough HUNDREDS of dollars and spending HOURS everyday on looking perfect.

LOOOL. yeah i'm one of those people that refuses to EVER go to a makeup counter and have makeup applied on me. the girls that work there are so PERFECT and they just look down upon others who have facial imperfections, etc...

i went to a mac counter when i was 15 and i walked out spended OVER $200 on everything ranging from foundations and powders to blotters to eye makeup to primer.. wtf.. all to cover up my acne..

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Well, I feel better now. I ended up driving all the way back up there and returning all the products (except for my Tarte which I just LOVE!!!). No more Sephora. I will just go with the items at Ulta or not at all from now on.

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