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Well, I want to talk about friends and family... when they are not what they are supposed to be.

Today, a "friend" told me (not in a nice way) "Don't get too horny because you'll get acne, dude"

Seriously, I felt like I had to punch him in the face, but I just said goodbye and turned away.

Some months ago, another friend said "There's a guy in my class who has acne and he's gross"

I just looked at him with my "I'm gonna kill you" look. Because I knew he was making fun of me. I'm not paranoid; I know him.

Another friend said a similar thing. But she's a girl and I got really pissed off, because guys are supposed to be mean with other guys. But not her! :rolleyes:

My cousin asked my uncle IN FRONT OF ME "What the hell does he have in his face?" and my uncle just looked at me and said nothing. I never, never cry, but in that moment I felt like I was gonna break. THEY ARE MY DAMN FAMILY. They are supposed to be supportive. I didn't cry... I just never visited them again since then.

They can all go to hell.

And I got like 10000000 stories like these.

This is one of the things I hate the most about acne: friends talking about it, making fun of it, etc.

If you wanna insult your friends, family or whoever... do it. Have no mercy. Let's talk about them.

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It's understandable that those kinds of things make you upset and hurt. Everyone encounters things that hurt them and it hurts even worse when it comes from people you care about or expect respect from. But don't let that pain make you bitter because when it comes down to it, that's letting other people rule your life and your emotions. I know what it feels like to hear hurtful things from family, very hurtful things, and as tough as it is you can't curse them and resent it. You should feel bad for them that they're the ones who have that attitude. It's a sad way to go through life, being so critical and judgmental, and in the end that will catch up to them. Just be the better person and whenever someone hurts you, go out of your way to help someone else or make someone feel good about themselves. It's a much better way to channel those feelings and in the end, you'll not only feel better about yourself but you'll also set an example that hopefully some people can learn from. There's always going to be those people who, for whatever reason, say things that hurt; I guarantee they have problems of their own. No one is perfect. You can't control what other people say, do or think, but you always have control over yourself. Don't sink down to their level.

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When I don't have any makeup on my brother just stares at mine all the time to p*ss me off.....but I don't get comments from friends and family generally, they just know better than to do that. It's comments from complete strangers that I hate....Like i'll be walking through school and some kid in the bottom year will make a comment and I could kill them...

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Its so so true, i havent had anything that blatent. But it is hard especially when acne has slowly killed your confidence day by day. I used to be very active, going to the gym most days, seeing friends but now i stay indoors in my room, i have become pathetic, and the worst thing is i know it, i wish i could deny it but if im honest with myself i have become a complete loser by choice because if i now that im no longer good looking at least ive chosen to be the loser not the rest of the world decided im a loser. The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact this is a temporary solution as i am on accutane and taking very good care of my skin and diet.

My parents act as though they dont understand. ' oh richard, you should be doing something in your summer holiday' , 'why are you doing this/that'.

Ok fair enough if they worry/voice their concern, ive repeatadly told them things will go back to normal ( started accutane). I wish they would stop bugging me though.

Another thing, and this is ANNOYING: when parents say should you be eating/drinking/doing this, what about your spots. I get so annoyed because I have spent countless hours looking into different ways to reduce/cure my skin yet they do not do any research on acne or what causes or affects it yet now they seem to think that they have a phd in the subject. Its just the arrogance that annoys me and these are my parents. Im supposed to love them, but i really really despise them

If thats not bad enough my nerdy ugly older brother finds this all hilarious, i can see why because we have never got along and its a constant tit for tat mentality. I keep telling him whenever he comments that when i get back to my former self i will because i used to be popular and have relationships with beautiful girls while he stayed in on his computer and yes i would take the piss out of him so fair does i suppose but i will have my vengence for sure. My one line is i will say even if these spots make me look ugly, its temporary but your always gonna be ugly. I know i sound petty but seriously when youve gone from such high to such a low in a short space of time you become so spiteful.

I have photos up of what i used to look like (happy days) and then some recent photos which are my acne on the recovery ( they were worse at one point, the acne photos do not do justice to the depths of despair i have reached)

As a sign off thing, i will say that this will effect my future outlook and anyone who has made this hard time in my life any harder, i will remember for the forseable future and treat them accordingly.

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I'm happy you're on Accutane, Rich123. I'm hoping to start taking it too really soon.

And I know exactly what you mean. :rolleyes: Sometimes they just make things even worse.

FreeBird91, I know it's not right to sink down to their level... and that it's not okay to hate, but they are assholes, they deserve it.

LikeRainDrops, just ignore your brother. I know brothers/sisters are annoying (luckily, I don't have any). And yes, strangers comments make me angry; they don't make me sad (most of the times) but they make me really, really angry.

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Hmm, a lot of bitterness and hatred here... Some people just don't realize or understand what we are going thru and some people just want to be cruel. Either way, it's not worth getting angry or upset at them about it. Just learn to cope with it and you'll become a stronger person mentally.

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One thing we have to remember I think is that nobody really cares as much as we do. Like, you might be convinced that you look terrible but other people won't notice as much, and if they do notice, they won't actually care. Anyone who really takes the p*ss out of someone's acne must be pretty insecure about themselves. People don't notice spots as much as you think.

Friends and family probably only comment on it because they know you.

I'm going to shut up now because i'm making no sense... :)

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Some people are straight up assholes or just don't understand the impact of their words but I think that doing/thinking about things other than how much you hate them will make you a lot happier. Negative thoughts make negative feelings, etc. If you want to be happier and feel good about yourself, surround yourself with things that make you feel good, including your own thoughts. Dwelling on the people who hurt you and channeling your energy into hating will make you unhappy (at least for me it does). Just don't fall into a cycle of hatred, it can consume your life. Best of luck friend :comfort: there are good, understanding people out there. All you can do is think about them and do your best to be one of those people.

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Yeah. Some people will just make comments about anything to make themselves feel better. Everyone is insecure really, and most of the time, the people who are most confident on the outside are secretly very unhappy with themselves. People in school who have bullied me in the past, I can look into their mind to an extent and that's how I know...Didn't people always say that bullies are secretly very unhappy people or something?

The way I deal with my insecurities is to just be as confident as I can and act like nothing bothers me.

Did you know that there's a village in Poland called Hell? :]

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I think you make a valid point Toni and I understand that I shouldn't sink to the same level of that abusive behaviour etc but..........I'm human (not the dalai lama) and I dont think having a defensive/protective responsive to what is really psychological and emotional abuse is wrong.

Yes, I could only control my response and not theirs and I needed to change mine from one of submissive acceptance to saying "its not ok". I was a part of it because I let people do it (green lighting further attempts as well). Why should we be treated so poorly?? It can quickly sort out the difference between true friendships and those that are not. Family is often a separate nightmare until you have the choice of living away from that - very difficult when you live under the same roof.

People often say that when someone puts another person down its about them and their insecurities etc rather than the person who is being attacked. This is true but why do they get to have their nasty response go continually unchecked? There is a big difference between being abusive back and standing up for yourself in integrity. Good luck.

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i hate it when anyone suggests

i go out/ get a life/ stop worrying so much about it/ try this/ should try that..

wtf would they know! with there NONACNEIC skin, with normal oil functions...

could use a bar of bloody soap and moisturise with god damn baby oil, or never have a blackhead in sight...

my blood boils...

my uncle told me to get a life, because i told my 14 yr old niece its important to stay out of the sun and look after your skin. her 17 yr old sister is nearly purple with suntan after the summer...

he took one look at me, at my acne and gave me a 'what the hell do you know about skin' look, and told me to get a life.

i felt stabby all over.

we haven't done anything wrong. but i feel we are being punished for something. every person i see with acne from now on i smile at and pretty much want to hug!

hugs feel pretty awesome x

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i hate it when anyone suggests

i go out/ get a life/ stop worrying so much about it/ try this/ should try that..

wtf would they know! with there NONACNEIC skin, with normal oil functions...

could use a bar of bloody soap and moisturise with god damn baby oil, or never have a blackhead in sight...

my blood boils...

so true!

and f*** my dad btw ughhhhh

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wow, my family are pretty selfish and crap but none of them have dared to talk abotu my acne like anyones here. Sounds like these individuals need to learn some basic social skills. You should challenge this type of stuff, maturely, when you can.

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such sad things to read. reminds me of my younger cousin, back in school days for no reason what so ever he'd often say 'no one will ever love you with a face like that', and other things of that nature. very bizarre thing for a 14 year old boy to say to someone who always tried to be nice to him. first few times was very hurtful but i learned to just ignore him. but the worst was whenever we were at family dinners or something, and the entire night i was just sitting there the entire day and or night praying that he wouldn't say anything to bring attention to me. but then of course, it was only a matter of time, and he always would. he would always get told off but sometimes would create a few laughs. it was hell. sad thing though is he was always right, and i knew that.

Edited by Grind
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Quick fix: Laugh at yourself

The sooner people realize you're comfortable with your outer being the sooner they'll stop with the jokes. Think about it, if you're not reacting to what they're saying how they want you to react why would they continue?

Laugh at it, if that doesn't work just tell them to go away in a not so nice manner. If they're really your friends they'll back off if you have explode at them once.

Edited by SClippers
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Well, I want to talk about friends and family... when they are not what they are supposed to be.

Today, a "friend" told me (not in a nice way) "Don't get too horny because you'll get acne, dude"

Seriously, I felt like I had to punch him in the face, but I just said goodbye and turned away.

Some months ago, another friend said "There's a guy in my class who has acne and he's gross"

I just looked at him with my "I'm gonna kill you" look. Because I knew he was making fun of me. I'm not paranoid; I know him.

Another friend said a similar thing. But she's a girl and I got really pissed off, because guys are supposed to be mean with other guys. But not her! :rolleyes:

My cousin asked my uncle IN FRONT OF ME "What the hell does he have in his face?" and my uncle just looked at me and said nothing. I never, never cry, but in that moment I felt like I was gonna break. THEY ARE MY DAMN FAMILY. They are supposed to be supportive. I didn't cry... I just never visited them again since then.

They can all go to hell.

.

We went to visit Sweden with my family and ran into a clothing store that sold jeans by brand Acne. My dad just HAD to.. well you know how that goes :DD

Edited by `Nearly Flawless
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i hate it when anyone suggests

i go out/ get a life/ stop worrying so much about it/ try this/ should try that..

wtf would they know! with there NONACNEIC skin, with normal oil functions...

could use a bar of bloody soap and moisturise with god damn baby oil, or never have a blackhead in sight...

my blood boils...

my uncle told me to get a life, because i told my 14 yr old niece its important to stay out of the sun and look after your skin. her 17 yr old sister is nearly purple with suntan after the summer...

he took one look at me, at my acne and gave me a 'what the hell do you know about skin' look, and told me to get a life.

i felt stabby all over.

we haven't done anything wrong. but i feel we are being punished for something. every person i see with acne from now on i smile at and pretty much want to hug!

hugs feel pretty awesome x

I would like to begin this by saying "THANK YOU!" for your post because seriously most of the stuff you said is what I'm thinking all the effing time. It's so EASY for people to say "Just live your life and prosper!" and all that other lame bullshit. No one can fully understand how hard it is to simply leave the house in the morning when all you can see of yourself is a walking face plastered with disgusting acne. I just wanted to tell you that I feel "stabby" (nice word btw) all the time too.

And your uncle is a major prick by the way. I apologize if that offends you.

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