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Hello...

It has been two years with noticable acne scarring on both of my cheeks. What makes it worst, it is continuing to accumulate slowly over the years. The right side of my cheek, where the scarring wasn't noticable at first, is now begining to look like my left side lol, it is so horrible and I can't stand it. No offense, it really doesn't matter what anyone says to me anymore; encouragement and all that stuff doesn't apply in my down times, and basically, there is a mental process that I go through that helps me get back in track. But I'd really appreciate to hear how you guys cope with this, and for those who have or have not experienced this, I'd like to hear from you guys?

The whole point here is this, I'm in my mid 20s and I kind of lost tract of being confident within myself, it's just reality for me now. In the begining, even with my scarring, I had my downtimes here and there, however, I wasn't self conscious as how I am now. It didn't really bother me as if someone would notice my scarring, yet I find myself attractive, girls too lol; either it was my personality or just my looks haha. Now, when I look in the mirror, things are not the same no more. It's like I have been robbed of something that I valued within myself. In my head, I talk to myself a lot, just positive voices that I'm hearing from within which helps me get through the day. Now it is just harder, imagine me trying to get out of bed??? Yeah right.... Only my immediately family I'm comfortable around with. This girl that I use to flirt with last semester (and other girls), she liked me to some degree, now here at summer school, she is irrisistable to me now lol wooow.. A lot of of things have changed; my appearence, personality and self confident. This scarring issue helps me explore myself in depth a lot more than I use to, but now standing front and center in public, school, dating and all that stuff is tough to cope with, I got too much going on within myself. Those who have not encounter this wouldn't understand me, truly. I'm just a bit fustrated, but I don't have anyone to blame but myself. There are a lot of things I wan't, but the stakes are so high now, I just got myself to look at. This scarring issues is uuuugghhhh....it gets overwhelming and a lot of things brushes up in my head. Anyone over here who has gone through this and has something wonderful to share?? For example; relationship, medical or surgical treatment, social acceptance, women's perspective?

Thanks

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Your story is very similar to mine. In fact, did you steal my personal journal? ;)

Even now in my mid-twenties, I still have moderate acne. However, what troubles me the most at this point in my life are the dreadful residual scars. Some look frightening deep and I am afraid these will never go away even if my acne went away tomorrow. It’s moments like these that I give way to anxiety, wretchedness and succumb to seclusion (depression).

Years back when I had severe acne, I was keen on being super positive and highly motivated. I was mentally focused on ignoring my acne issue, pretending the problem did not exist. It worked; my confidence shined through and people essentially saw through the physical distortion my face displayed. Then, somewhere along the way I lost sight of keeping my great attitude.

Maybe because I knew deep down I was truly psychologically damaged by being well aware of having acne day after day and that I wasn’t fooling anyone; it is disturbing to look at by anyone. It was then at this point my mind convinced me acne was holding me back from pursuing others things such as being that happy go lucky dude, the person who could socialize easily and talk to women without feeling apprehensive. I became a pessimist and bitter. I couldn’t help, but cringe inside as people talked to me. Becoming more self- conscious and insecure, later only to be further amplified when a woman I found beautiful spoke to me. Agony at its finest.

Women and school didn’t fare well as one might imagine. I was already picky at choosing women even when I did have beautiful skin. Now with acne, it just reassured me that it was going to be a long winding road. It’s an uphill battle to say the least. And when I finally came across a woman that I found not only attractive, but someone I actually wanted to be around with, she wanted to be around me as well. Unfortunately, that too fizzled because I could not let go of my facial insecurities and I turned away. That was an awful, awful time. I think easily my lowest period. Knowing if I could have swept my insecurities underneath a rug and I would have probably been in a very nice relationship as I type this post. Regrets, I sure do have some, but you learn and live to tell about it.

Every day I get up knowing I have to face the world once again with this monstrosity called my face. So for a number of years of I would have my cycle of depression and then slap myself silly and be the bright and lovable guy I think I truly am. The cycles of ups and down wears down on a person, it’s exhausting and frustrating. Now I just try to take it in stride because it is what it is and life is going by and there’s only so much time we have on this planet. If you have opportunities presented to you, go full force and take it and don’t let any physical ailment hold you back. Life is simply too short.

Edited by Agent Acne
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Guest

Acne and scarring has triggered many people to change their views and lifes for the better. For me it has revealed that I have a really crappy sense of fundamental self-worth and let my skin and achievements dictate how much I like myself. If it wasn't for acne, I wouldn't have a clue and would still be heartbroken everytime someone did something better than me. Now I strive to love myself no matter what, but needless to say it's not easy. I'm getting there though.

Also, I find that acne scars on men makes them more masculine looking. It's hardcore!

But in the end, I think that we all should look for a way to be happy even if we all end up as big, purple scars with stripes and little butterflies.

I know it's hard, but the next time you think about your scars, try to analyze the thought process (this goes for everyone reading this). Like in my case:

I see my acne. I think:

"I have acne" -> "It's ugly" -> "why won't it stop?" -> "what did I do to deserve this?" -> "I look disgusting" -> "No one will ever want me" -> "I'm worthless" -> "These marks will NEVER fade" ...

What you should try to do - and what I do already - is to try to make it stop at "I have acne/scars" and just let yourself feel that feeling until it fades. I've found that I tend to exaggerate the severity of my acne more and more the longer I think of it. (Don't misunderstand. I'm not telling anyone to repress their feelings. Quite the opposite, actually. Feel it and then let it fade on its own, just don't add more fuel to the fire, because that's what causes depression.)

I wish you the best of luck and, rather than clear skin, I wish you happiness with or without clear skin!

Edited by Guest
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I see my acne. I think:

"I have acne" -> "It's ugly" -> "why won't it stop?" -> "what did I do to deserve this?" -> "I look disgusting" -> "No one will ever want me" -> "I'm worthless" -> "These marks will NEVER fade" ...

What you should try to do - and what I do already - is to try to make it stop at "I have acne/scars" and just let yourself feel that feeling until it fades. I've found that I tend to exaggerate the severity of my acne more and more the longer I think of it. (Don't misunderstand. I'm not telling anyone to repress their feelings. Quite the opposite, actually. Feel it and then let it fade on its own, just don't add more fuel to the fire, because that's what causes depression.)

Story of my life. Thank you for this, it helps.

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