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Dont Watch Me

I'm sick of my stupid ass family

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i really am. i am tired of these fuckin idiots and want them out of my life for good. especially my mother......i really cant stand the site or sound of her.

unfortunately i have to go through them with everything because my health insurance is tied with them, otherwise i would not have health insurance. they do not care one bit about my skin or myriad of health problems. "your skin is fine" is the response. when i finally got to see doctors/dermatologists i got no help. my parents said they will not pay for any medical bills now, and i dont have the money now.

i got laid off and had to move back in with them. its embarrassing to me and i dont want to rely on them for anything. i buy my own food, and they complain that i'm on this "ridiculous health food diet" because i want to eat healthy. my mom has been buying me junk like microwaves and thinks she is being nice by doing this and that i am ridiculous. i cook for myself.

i don't like relying on anyone for anything in life. i want to do things myself.

i dont even get bank statements mailed to me. why? i found out that THEY get MY bank account statements in THEIR name. im an adult. a while back i actually had to go into the bank and change my account just so i could have access. i will be going in again to make sure they have zero access to my account.

i'm still treated like i am 12 yrs old by these people, and they can't understand why I have a problem

i am sure i'll get the candid response that "oh they love you they support you blah blah blah"

i dont want to hear it.

i want to never have contact with the rest of my family, both my parents and brothers. i want them out of my life completely. if i get married and have a family (which i really fear wont happen, and i get told by my mother i will never get married ) they will not see my wife or kids. that is their punishment for the shit they put me through. i'm not going to get into details but lets just say i've never had a good relationship with my family. i dont think i should be cordial with someone who has told me i'm worthless and wasn't worth producing, hitting me while i am asleep. its not something thats easy to forget and brush aside. my brothers i could care less about having a relationship because they're a lot different from me and don't care themselves.

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I'm going to play the bad guy and say: You have a lot of growing up to do, so it's not surprising that they treat you like you're twelve. You say you're an adult, but you don't take care of yourself like one, and you don't treat others like a mature person either. You have unrealistic expectations of what your family should be doing for you, and it seems that even when they try to help you-you twist it back around on them. If you want to be independent, then you need to completely independent. Be grateful that they even gave you a place to live in the first place, and that they will share their health insurance with you. How healthy of a life are you going to be living on the streets?

I'm sorry to hear you have acne, and yes that sucks. It sucks for everyone. It's frustrating. It's emotionally defeating. But stop putting yourself down, putting your family down, putting down what they do for you, and taking the things they say as truths. If they say or do something you don't like, just be indifferent and move on.

Edited by rw000

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I agree with the above poster. Maybe your family is meddling too much in your life, we all have been there and we understand. It can be irritating and frustrating. But isn't the mature reaction to be thankful for this? They let you live at home, they buy you food, and let you share their health insurance (which...good luck paying for that on your own. It's really expensive).

I know what it's like to want your independence, but you have to show them that you are mature. Reacting that way shows them the opposite. Sit down with your mom and calmly say that you appreciate her buying you food but you've made an adult decision to change your eating habits and you don't expect her to buy you food but if she still wants to, you'd appreciate if it was this type.

They might never understand you. But you need to show some respect and just agree to disagree.

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I feel you on everyone saying my diet is rediculous, but at the end of the day they think they are helping you, but they clearly arent.

The best way to go about this is to sit them down, and say to them look, I am very concious about how I look and my health etc etc and just explain to them its means alot to you and treat them as adults and with respect. Atm it just seems like your not getting your own way and you are stressing because of it, which obviously wont help and makes you seem very childish.

Just be thankfull they are trying to help, or atleast they think they are, people will always disagree with you but thats just life, if you have a goal then go for it, but it doesnt mean you have to take things the wrong way when people do things you dont like.

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Although you are fortunate to have a roof over your head and medical insurance, I am truly sorry you're having to endure verbal and emotional abuse. Hopefully, the physical abuse has stopped, right? Keep your eyes peeled for a new job so you can get out asap. I hope you get something soon.

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I'm going to play the bad guy and say: You have a lot of growing up to do, so it's not surprising that they treat you like you're twelve. You say you're an adult, but you don't take care of yourself like one, and you don't treat others like a mature person either. You have unrealistic expectations of what your family should be doing for you, and it seems that even when they try to help you-you twist it back around on them. If you want to be independent, then you need to completely independent. Be grateful that they even gave you a place to live in the first place, and that they will share their health insurance with you. How healthy of a life are you going to be living on the streets?

I'm sorry to hear you have acne, and yes that sucks. It sucks for everyone. It's frustrating. It's emotionally defeating. But stop putting yourself down, putting your family down, putting down what they do for you, and taking the things they say as truths. If they say or do something you don't like, just be indifferent and move on.

this thread could have been closed after this post, because no one's going to be able to provide anything more helpful or insightful. that's just it, right there.

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I'm going to play the bad guy and say: You have a lot of growing up to do, so it's not surprising that they treat you like you're twelve. You say you're an adult, but you don't take care of yourself like one, and you don't treat others like a mature person either. You have unrealistic expectations of what your family should be doing for you, and it seems that even when they try to help you-you twist it back around on them. If you want to be independent, then you need to completely independent. Be grateful that they even gave you a place to live in the first place, and that they will share their health insurance with you. How healthy of a life are you going to be living on the streets?

I'm sorry to hear you have acne, and yes that sucks. It sucks for everyone. It's frustrating. It's emotionally defeating. But stop putting yourself down, putting your family down, putting down what they do for you, and taking the things they say as truths. If they say or do something you don't like, just be indifferent and move on.

this thread could have been closed after this post, because no one's going to be able to provide anything more helpful or insightful. that's just it, right there.

I guess you missed the physical and emotional abuse part? Either is unconscionable. I echo Siava's post.

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The only thing I can think of is to limit contact with everyone in your family as much as possible until you have your life back in order and can move out again.

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Family is important. You should take a different approach and a different way to see the situation. If you think a problem always have one side that is fault, you wrong. I'm sure your family have some issues, but I bet my ... that you too.

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If you can't make peace with your family? Do you expect to make peace with strangers?

Life is about compromise, not coercion.

Good luck, try hard, try the hardest you ever have to have peaceful family.

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i dont think i should be cordial with someone who has told me i'm worthless and wasn't worth producing, hitting me while i am asleep. its not something thats easy to forget and brush aside.

You're absolutely right, it's not easy to forget that sort of thing. It's painful, and you should not have to deal with it, period. Find a friend you trust and ask if you can bunk with them, until you get back on your feet. In the meantime, ignore any verbal abuse, unless it becomes violent. In that case, call the police.

Edited by electric_feel

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I'm going to play the bad guy and say: You have a lot of growing up to do, so it's not surprising that they treat you like you're twelve. You say you're an adult, but you don't take care of yourself like one, and you don't treat others like a mature person either. You have unrealistic expectations of what your family should be doing for you, and it seems that even when they try to help you-you twist it back around on them. If you want to be independent, then you need to completely independent. Be grateful that they even gave you a place to live in the first place, and that they will share their health insurance with you. How healthy of a life are you going to be living on the streets?

I'm sorry to hear you have acne, and yes that sucks. It sucks for everyone. It's frustrating. It's emotionally defeating. But stop putting yourself down, putting your family down, putting down what they do for you, and taking the things they say as truths. If they say or do something you don't like, just be indifferent and move on.

LOL

i dont take care of myself like one.....right. since you gathered that from me detesting people who have treated me like shit in the past. i'm more mature than 99%of people my age and have always been more mature/wise than the average.

so you think i deserve to be treated like i'm 12 because i dont like my family for the things they have done in the past? i guess i just dont understand the ridiculous concept you and other people seem to have. thats like telling someone who is married to somehow who is abusive they should stay with that person because they chose to marry them. i used to LOVE my family and believe in family. i really want to start a family of my own right now and have wanted to be a young(ish) parent. family is actually big to me.

think before you sit and act like you know me. you dont know the half of what i have been through already. i'm not sitting back and acting like we're all friends when someone wrongs me. i am a good person who is very loyal to people i care about/care about me. i would literally kill for loved ones. that used to include family......but now? no, that's not being fair to myself.

i treat people good as long as they are good people and good to me. simple concept right? i've been wronged by almost everyone who has come into my life. if you wrong me, i dont want anything to do with you. i'm not going to let people run over me anymore.

what are my unrealistic expectations for what my family should be doing for me? i didnt say they should do anything for me. i'm happy to just be alive at this point, who said i wasnt grateful for that.

i dont have acne. i have a lot bigger of a skin problem and health problems in general, but thats for discussion in another thread which i've posted elsewhere on acne.org. we arent talkin about a couple pimples ......in the last year i've been back and forth to the hospital 10 times (i eventually gave up because doctors wouldnt help and it was a waste of money each visit). i have been hospitalized a lot in the past.

i earn money. times are just hard now and i dont have the means to pay for treatment that i need. my bank account has $100 in it right now. the main reason i'm broke is because all my money has gone on treatments that havent worked. i've even tried natural medicine wasting hundreds of dollars on that. soon i will be earning money and have the money to get out. as soon as i do and find another place to rent i will be out of here. this is just temporary. i need to again save up a bit of money for a few months expenses though

yes i've been homeless before

what should i expect from my family? support, which i dont have. that doesnt mean financial either. they could give me all the money in the world but if i dont get them to take me seriously about my problems and finding out whats wrong to fix it then it doesnt matter. i know that i will always support my family and make sure they dont suffer the way i have. they dont respect me either.

Kairasa they dont pay for my insurance, i do. i pay the monthly fee and doctors visits as well the BS prescriptions i've gotten from dermatologists. they just put me on with them because i couldnt get a plan before. it's hard to find decent health coverage.

i'm not nasty to them at all. i simply tell them that i want to eat healthy and i want to do what i can myself to get rid of my skin problems. they know that. they dont have to buy food or even cook for me. i appreciate it but letting me eat unhealthy food is not going to help. i told her that i will not eat any processed food now yet she still buys them. them buying me food is not something i asked them to do. the fact that i've already said i want to eat healthy for my skin and overall health yet she gets angry with me because of it doesnt make sense.

read one of the last sentences i wrote in the original post. i was verbally and physically abused growing up. do you think it is easy for me to let that go? i try hard to think of a reason why....why they would do those things.

its taken a lot just to get to this point.

for someone who should be dead, i have a lot more living left to be done

no, they dont hit me anymore...that happened growing up. i was actually suicidal at one stage because of stuff. i just try to ignore them and keep to myself. i am real depressed at the moment and wish i could find an answer to my health problems. if i could get better i know the weight off my shoulders would allow me to proceed the way i want to.

Edited by Dont Watch Me

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If your family is now or previously emotionally/physically abusive to you, I think you should not expect anything from them at this point. As of now it sounds like that is out of the question, as you are relying on them for shelter and health insurance.

Maybe if you put all your energy into the moving out phase while trying not to be confrontational with your family. If your family doesn't bring up why you are not eating their food, not bringing that up might bring you some peace of mind. When you are not working, maybe you could take up a second job to help get you out quicker. If that's not an option, find an activity outside the house to do, like going to the library or volunteering.

I'm not sure what your skin condition is-can you post the thread link?

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