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worriedshoes

My boyfriend has NEVER seen me without make-up

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now. And during those 8 months, he has NEVER seen me without my full "face" on. This is incredibly frustrating for me because I know this is terrible for my skin and it also makes me very insecure. I know you will all say just do it, what's going to be so bad about not wearing make-up all the time but I know myself. I'm not going to NOT wear make-up. I don't consider myself vain, I am just very embarrassed about how different I look without makeup. I feel fake. I have no self-confidence or motivation to do even the most mundane errands without makeup on.

When he sleeps over of I sleep over, I sleep with my makeup on. I know, shame on me. And then, I reapply makeup the next morning onto an UNWASHED face. Double shame on me. When I have to take a shower, I stay in the bathroom and do my makeup before I come out. It's very uncomfortable because it's so steamy and I get very hot but I cannot go outside and let him see me! I carry makeup in my purse EVERYWHERE I GO. I am psychotic about makeup.

I make up bogus excuses why we can never go swimming, to the beach, camping, etc. Basically, any place where it would be difficult to wear makeup.

This is so stupid and I am so jealous of people who have perfect skin and make the natural look seem so beautiful. I am so ugly without makeup, I'll be honest. I am not ready to let him see my bare face yet. In fact, I cancel dates/make excuses on my worst skin days :(

Any have similar anxieties?

:(

Edited by worriedshoes
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The only people who have seen me without makeup is my best friend and my family. I would never, ever let anyone see me without it. Not even a boyfriend, lol. So I feel you.

Whenever I have a sleepover I sleep in my makeup, too. And I rush right to the bathroom as soon as I wake up to fix it up. :doubt: It sucks, I know :(

asdfghjk;

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Well telling you this from a guys point of view. Im sure by now your boyfriend knows you have acne. Despite how much makeup you wear he can probably see the bumps that acne makes that you probably have if its as bad as you say it is. And out of all the diffrent times hes seen you in the sun in bad lighting he is still going out with you 8 months down the line. I wouldnt waste my time with a girl i knew might be covering up her acne FOR 8 MONTHS unless i truly liked her and saw past that. There comes a point when you care about the person too much to just discard them because of a flaw they have. You actually want to help them and make them feel better more so than critisize and point out their flaw. I think the best thing to do will tell him you really are self consciousness about your acne and that you love him because he sees past that. I would feel very sympathetic towards a girl if she opened up to me like that and would probably care for them even more. Its when your reclusive and weird about it when it actually becomes a turn-off. Especially 8 months into a relationship when you should be more open about your feelings.

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Help Wanted you really seem like a nice guy.

I never wear makeup. My skin isnt great either but I think wearing makeup to cover up flaws makes the flaws more noticable. I actually feel more insecure if I do wear makeup. I am talking about foundation. Eye makeup and lipstick is fine with me.

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shame on you for sleeping with your boyfriend before you are married :o.

Lol im just messing with you, but yea like other people have said, you've been with this guy for 8 months I think you can open up to him a little. Wouldn't you want him to do the same for you?

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My boyfriend didn't see me without makeup for a LONG ASS time. Only swimming sometimes in the summer. And honestly... he just tells me of course it's less flattering. BUT BUT BUT it doesn't matter! We are still beautiful. Your boyfriend probably loves you more than to let something like acne bother him or scare him away. Help Wanted is right. 8 months is a long time and I'm sure he knows you have acne... and obviously still finds you attractive and love-able. Part of being with someone is letting them in and letting your guards down. This could make you 2 a lot closer. You would worry less. Try it.

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I was like that a few years ago with an ex boyfriend, I was just too self conscious. But Ive been seeing a new guy recently and I dont know what changed but I honestly just dont care, he's seen me sans make up plenty already. We've gone swimming and playing in rivers etc. Last night we had a good aul laugh at the ten or eleven bruises all over my legs from abseiling last weekend.

Moral of the story, if he likes you, he doesnt care. This guy knows Ive bad skin, he's seen it, Im not hiding it and it really doesnt bother him. Its quite freeing really. Your boyfriend is going out with you, has chosen to be with you, he knows what you look like and he likes it.

Its hard to gain that confidence but ease yourself into it. My approach was just to be honest and tell him, yea my skin is rubbish, Im self conscious bout it but Im not gonna pretend its perfect either. You dont even have to start by wearing less makeup but even just talking to him about it. You'll hear that he doesnt notice/care and that makes it easier for you to worry less :D

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I think you got really good answers right there=). You'll need to take a big step but you can do it. Take a "risk". I know it will be hard on you psychologically to just let go, I feel scared, literally, going out of the house without makeup too, but I managed to get over it, at least to the gym and some shopping trips. Still counts a lot for me. Besides, if he judges you based on your acne, he's not worth your time. I'm thinking he's likely worth it. Don't stress yourself out more by hiding. Let him embrace you fully.

How do you feel about it? You don't have to take it all off right away. Just do it slowly, first keep the makeup that you like the most on, like mascara or eyeliner, or just lessen the foundation you use. All the best

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Most guys never wear makeup, in that respect women get it easy being able to cover some red marks.

Whats the point of staying with him if you can't be honest, just remove that shit and see what he says. he probably wont even notice.

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^ Great replies.

Just work your way up to it. I am really shy about being seen without makeup for the first couple of months, but soon enough I get sick of it and start going without. There's really no need for makeup when you're just going to bum around in your pajamas and watch movies. You say you wear a "full face"...maybe you could build up to going nude by wearing concealer only sometimes. :thumbsup:

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I can most definetly relate to how you feel. I actually started a post about this very topic a few years ago, because I felt so insecure. You can click and read through it here.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/Girls-Rel...84#entry1786884

Soon after I wrote that post, I went on a weekend getaway to Mexico with my boyfriend. It was time for bed, and of course I had my makeup on. I really wanted to wash it off because I felt sticky and gross. I looked at him with a lump in my throat and proceeded to tell him my greatest fear...him seeing me without makeup. I told him how it has plagued my life and how I felt so insecure about it. He told me that he loved me, and could care less about what my face looked like without makeup, that he loved and thought I was beautiful. I felt better having got it off my chest, so I washed my face. When we woke up the next morning with the sun coming through the window, I had my face down ashamed at what I looked like. He kissed me and said good morning, I love you, and asked what do you want to do today?

It's now been 3 1/2 years together, planning our future together, and he has seen me without makeup more then with it...even on my worse days.

Sometimes our issues are much bigger for us, in our heads, then it is for others. I know its hard, but I hope you muster up the strength to overcome your fear. I'm sure you're a beautiful girl and your boyfriend loves you with makeup or not.

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Okay, I don't wear a lot of heavy make-up. Concealer carefully applied and then after that everything is powder based. But I aboslutely positively leave on my make-up when I spend the night with my boyfriend. Absolutely positively!

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Isnt that the worst feeling? I remember I wouldnt actually wear make up around my boyfriend on my good skin days, but if I ever got a breakout I would cancel anything that we had planned for up to a week. I was just so self concious.

The thing was he had bad acne, but I didnt care. It was sort of weird how that ended up, me not caring about his acne but getting so upset about small break outs that I had.

Imagine that your boyfriend had a bad skin day; how would you react? Probably you wouldnt care. So keep that in mind when you see him.

Good luck!

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I got a story

I dated a girl while in college who was smokin hot. Probably a good bit better looking than me. Pretty smart too. Anyways, at that time my face didn't break out that much, but my chest and back did. I hated it, but it was something I could hide easily until I got close to someone... I'd say for like a month and a half I made damn sure that every time we had sex it was at night with the lights off. It was ridiculous. So one day we were walking home kinda drunk from a party and she asks me "why will you only fuck me with the lights off, is it because you think I'm ugly?". God do I remember that moment vividly. That was when I realized how insecure everyone is, even the best looking people. So I told her the truth. She called me a selfish asshole, and that was that. We dated for another year and a half or so and it never came up again.

You should try not to worry so much because he probably won't care.

Edited by Pimpstick
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lol, you sound exactly like me years back. My boyfriend and I have now been together for 3 1/2 years. But when we first started dating, and I stayed the night at his house - I would wake up in the middle of the morning and sneak to the restroom with my make-up so I can reapply it, then go back to sleep. When I took a shower, I reapplied my make-up before I got out. Which took a long time. I would always touch up on my make-up. I even went swimming with my make-up on!

But girl, if y'all have been together for 8 months; I'm pretty sure he loves you for who you are! And chances are he's noticed you never take off your make-up and have came to the conclusion you don't feel comfortable without it. It took me awhile to not wear make-up around my boyfriend, but when I got used to the idea, it was a big sigh of relief! I started with taking only my eye make-up off first for a week or so. Then I took my powder off for a week or so but kept eye make-up on. Then I took the leap and didn't wear any make-up at all. And he ended up saying I looked better without make-up (which is a total lie) and to this day he calls me beautiful every morning. (: I also opened up to him about how insecure I was about my acne... and at random times I would even cry to him about it because of how much it bothered me. I think that just made us closer, and he would always tell me he sees past my acne.

PLUS if you stop wearing make-up so much, there's a better chance of your face clearing up!

Edited by Sapphire Lily
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I think there are some great responses already posted. Personally, I used to be self conscious about this no matter what. Even if a best friend was sleeping over. But eventually, after a very long time, I realized that if the person truly loved me than it wouldn't matter what I looked like. And my friends have seen me with rather bad breakouts, heck, they've seen me put on topicals. It's kind of a silly joke in my friend group that if you have a skin issue ask the resident dermo, aka me! =)

This type of issue is about learning to be comfortable in your own skin. And you can get there. ^_^

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I used to be really paranoid about reapplying my makeup round at the boyfs over night. My skin is still very hit and miss. Can have really good days and really bad days. And I have a lot of red mark scarring, I love to look at my skin when it's clear, AND the red marks are hidden with concealer. But a couple of weeks ago I came out of the shower and went to put on makeup before going back into my room, and thought, no, he wont care, I'm still me. And I just went back into my room, with a completely naked face and sat next to him. And he turns round and says somethng to me, and then double takes. And I says, what? what it is? and he just smiles and says nothing. And he kissed my cheeks and said my skin tasted sweet.

He struggles with acne too, and he tells me it's nice to have someone he can be completely himself around.

Isn't that what everyone wants? So I say, go for it. If he's worth it he'll love you even more.

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Oh worriedshoes, I really do feel for you! If he truly loves you then he wouldn't discard you for having imperfect skin. Like the others, I really suggest that you talk to him about how you feel.

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I know exactly how you feel! When you're wearing makeup do you just mean cover up or do you mean eye makeup and everything else too? I used to be the same way with my boyfriend.

I think if you reduce the amount of makeup you wear in general and then maybe hang out with him one day at your house in a dimly lit setting with none on, you'll start to gradually feel more comfortable. That suggestion may sound weird, but if I'm in a place where I'm comfortable and the lighting is not really strong I obviously feel less worried about my skin.

I know it can be hard and embarrassing, but talking to your boyfriend will help too! Chances are, he'll probably understand you've been battling acne for a long time and realize it's a really big deal for you to go without makeup. Plus most guys don't like too much make-up on girls in my experience (especially not powders and things).

Acting confident when you're not makes a big difference! Vonnegut or someone (lulz I sound pretentious) said 'we are what we pretend to be' and this seems applicable here. The more confident you act...the more confident you'll start to feel. It's more important that you start feeling better about yourself for your own sake, and that will carry into how you feel around your boyfriend.

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Acting confident when you're not makes a big difference! Vonnegut or someone (lulz I sound pretentious) said 'we are what we pretend to be' and this seems applicable here. The more confident you act...the more confident you'll start to feel. It's more important that you start feeling better about yourself for your own sake, and that will carry into how you feel around your boyfriend.

Practice makes better =) I don't like the word "perfect"... its unrealistic =P

I really love the responds to this thread. Some are so romantic :wub: gives me strength to fight acne's iron grip on me more.

I really want to date someone who has acne too, it would be so cool if we were there to support each other and fight against it together :wub: forget about fairytales. Those posts just took me away :wub:

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Ah I'm exactly the same.

My skin has been awful. for like, 3 years now and I had this horrible habit of picking at my spots so now I have scars everywhere, we both live in the same halls at uni so sometimes I stay over at his, and I wake up way before him to put makeup on, and my face is so oily in the morning as well so it's like, ergh.

Any opportunity I have to put makeup on I do, I can't even walk down the road without it.

He says he'll love me regardless but he doesn't knwo how terrible I look without it, my skin is so uneven in colour and there are scars everywhere.

A lot of the time my makeup sweats off anyway, but t's never been completely off, ever. I guess if someone really loves you, they'll accept you for who you are and how your skin looks, my bf said he'd love me even if I got him in the face by a car or something!

I was with my ex for 1 and a half years and at that point my skin was at its worst, and he saw me without makeup and still loved me.

Once, he came to my window, because I was asleep and he was wondering what had happened because I wasn't texting him back, and I didn't have any makeup on and my curtains were closed, he even saw I was awake through the bottom of my window and he stood there waiting for me, I couldn't even let him in because I felt so ugly.

Sorry for the whole life-story but I thought I was the only one this crazy about how my skin is, you just remind me so much of me it's ridiculous. Even the whole shower thing, I showered at his flat once and I spent ages doing my makeup afterwards.

What's crazy is, ihe said he hatttes girls who wear too much makeup, to be fair i only wear foundation, and he was talking about how fake they look but he cant even tell how much i wear, and i think he'd rather have me fake than real the way i look.

I hate wearing it, but I can't not wear it, I spend so much money on it even though I can't afford it because I'm so insecure about how I look. I wish I could do something about it.

Anyway, you're not alone, and I guess once yuu're with him for longer you'll feel more comfortable around him, my ex has sen me a lot without makeup, full scarred face, and he still loved me, so give it time, if someone truly loves you, they'll love you regardless. x

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look im not trying to sound conceited but i do know that i look very pretty with foundation on.. but when it comes offf,,, REDDDDness everywhere :( i dont even let my parents see me like that... i get out the shower and dont even get dressed before i do my makeup.. it is very stressing...

I am 18 year old and had a few boyfriends, which never!!! saw me without makeup... :( and just like you i made dumb excuses of why i didnt want to go to the pool and water parks :( houston is very hot! and all my friends would go but i would stay home :(

I recently got with this new guy who ive only been with for two months but he is soo GREATTT! just a few days ago he told me i shouldnt worry about how my bface looks without makeup... and said he wants to see mw without it!! WTF lol so ii've decided i have to let go of this fear and show him... good luck!

Ps: I got on the implonon 2 months ago and my acne is compleately gone.... only like one pimple during my cycle! Try it if you have bad acne like mine :)!!

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I can most definetly relate to how you feel. I actually started a post about this very topic a few years ago, because I felt so insecure. You can click and read through it here.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/Girls-Rel...84#entry1786884

Soon after I wrote that post, I went on a weekend getaway to Mexico with my boyfriend. It was time for bed, and of course I had my makeup on. I really wanted to wash it off because I felt sticky and gross. I looked at him with a lump in my throat and proceeded to tell him my greatest fear...him seeing me without makeup. I told him how it has plagued my life and how I felt so insecure about it. He told me that he loved me, and could care less about what my face looked like without makeup, that he loved and thought I was beautiful. I felt better having got it off my chest, so I washed my face. When we woke up the next morning with the sun coming through the window, I had my face down ashamed at what I looked like. He kissed me and said good morning, I love you, and asked what do you want to do today?

It's now been 3 1/2 years together, planning our future together, and he has seen me without makeup more then with it...even on my worse days.

Sometimes our issues are much bigger for us, in our heads, then it is for others. I know its hard, but I hope you muster up the strength to overcome your fear. I'm sure you're a beautiful girl and your boyfriend loves you with makeup or not.

the way you described your story is so sweet. made me cry!

I never had perfect skin, my now-husband never cared at all about it. in fact he has a bit of acne too, so he isnt going to judge me over mine.

Once I asked him if it bothered him, knowing that we didnt have flawless skin like some people do. He smiled and said in his usual witty way"Hell no, Babe. Lets face it, if God had given us perfect skin on top of our good looks, humor and extreme intelligence wed be TOO perfect for mere mortals"

a sense of humor is a must have in life :-)

To the original poster here: Just explain it how you feel chances are he already knows anyway and doesnt care. You are more than your skin condition <3

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I've ditched make up entirely, been a week. Feels liberating. Plus make up never eliminates the acne, you can always tell a person who is covering up their acne, I am sure he knows you wont go swimming cause of your skin, but is waiting for you talk about it. Yea, sleeping in make is the worst woman!! Bah, let your skin heal! I was even told I looked better without makeup LOL are you kidding me better?! EVEN WITH THE RED MARKS AND CYST ON MY CHINNN????? yea, he told me I looked better.

Awesome. I am over being self conscious, and I am definitely seeing an improvement in my complexion since ditching the make up. I had lived in foundation since I was 15 years old. I would fix it during recess, I remember this precisely, I would play soccer in make up etc, anything to make me feel comfortable in my pimple infested skin. Now that I am older, it's time to let my skin heal, and really clear it up. I can't continue to wear make up creating more of a mess for myself, I want to enjoy life be healthy and take of my mind and body. I am not self conscious anymore, I mean yea I have zits, but most people do. And guys don't look at me any different, I go to college and surprisingly there are no stares, and I feel like no one even noticed me not wearing anything, and it is SO obvious.

Tomorrow is another day without my mask on :cool: Just do it, you got nothing to loose and everything to gain.

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