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andrea29

this doesn't have much to do with my acne... but still, I need advice

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this is a long story. but in summary, I went on a date with a really nice guy tonight and it was AMAZING and I came back to hear that one of my best friend's was a mess once she found out about it because he was her first kiss, her first areihnainha, etc. however, I thought it was a hookup type thing, and I clearly remembered her saying a year ago when they kind of had a thing that she didn't like him and she thought he was clingy and annoying but she didn't know how to tell him. and I talked to my other friend about it, and she didn't make it seem like it was a big deal. and me and this guy have been talking for about 3 months now... and live about 30 minutes away from each other, so we decided to go out to the movies tonight and we had a really nice time. he likes me (alottt) and I like him (alottt) so then I get home, I'm in this great mood, and then I get a text from one of my friends saying how my other friend is all hurt because she had memories with the guy and she doesn't want me to have that too, because then she'd feel like she didn't mean anything and wasn't special. and then my friend was like you broke girl code! and I'm like I had no idea!

it just seems like everything I have that's good, or could be good, always fails, or is taken away from me. I've never been in a relationship before, I've never had feelings like that for anyone before, and this feels legit. and I know that it's only a matter of weeks before he asks me to become his girlfriend.

but I don't want to hurt my friend, but I know if I say okay, I'll stop dating him, then I'll be extremely hurt, and I already have a fear of getting involved with guys because I've been hurt EVERY time, and things never work out, and this was the one thing I felt sure of. and I can't just unlike him! it doesn't happen.

but I don't get it! the thing they had wasn't real, and she even said she doesn't have feelings for him! she's just upset because she has memories with him.

and I don't know what to do! I'll be mega depressed if I don't see where this thing with him goes, I know we could be good together! I have like this major connection with him, and it feels so right.

I'm the one crying my eyes out, not her!

and we were supposed to hang out this weekend, but now IDK!

why does this stuff happen to me?! I had NO IDEA she would be upset like this about it.

hianhianhiranhiahrninhaornhoarn so. freaking. upset.

:'(

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We all experience bad times in our lives. Some more than others. That's just the way it is. Yes, life is unfair. Yes, life is a bitch. We must take the good with the bad. I suggest you look into meditation.

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I, instead, suggest to have a nice talk with your 'friend', because it seems like she's just being a BIG bitch. What's the deal if she's broken up with him anyway?

You love him , he loves you. That's all that matters.

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Your friend should get over it. If she really cares about you then she'd want you to be happy.

skylyre

AGREE!!!!!

I thought it was girl code not to date any of your friends x's?

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She had her chance and apparently she didn't like it.

If you two are diggin eachother then don't hold back from making it official!

Edited by SopehCoo

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Your friend should get over it. If she really cares about you then she'd want you to be happy.

skylyre

AGREE!!!!!

I thought it was girl code not to date any of your friends x's?

You should maybe read your sig... ;)

The friend never expressed that she had any lingering feelings, and even dissed on the guy. Time passed, the guy and girl meet and hit it off.

Point is, if they are friends, they will work it out. If not, they'll go separate ways.

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I think you should talk to your friend, and tell her what you told us here about really liking him. Don't say that she never had feelings for him or anything like that - you don't want to accuse her of anything or try to tell her how she felt. Who knows, she might feel better just because you came to her about it.

Also, maybe this just came as a shock to her. She might get used to the idea and calm down a bit.

If not, then you have to decide if you want to lose a best friend or a potential boyfriend =(

Edited by Allison12

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If she were really your friend, she'd want you to be happy- even if that meant dating someone she has a (seemingly very brief) history with. I'd say she's acting this way out of jealousy- perhaps she wanted what you have found with this guy- and that's just the way life works sometimes. Do what makes you happy, and after time, she'll get over it if she truly cares about you. I let the love of my life go because a girlfriend of mine wasn't ok with 'us'... I couldnt regret it anymore to this day if I tried. Don't put your happiness on the back burner just to appease someone else, please.

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To me it sounds like your friend is jealous. Sounds like shes needy and being selfish. There is no girl code about this shit. If they were together a long time it'd be understandable but if they only dated a few weeks and maybe only a few months then she shouldn't be staking territory on him. Maybe they didn't work out because she has issues. Talk to him about it. Find out his side and her side then make up your mind. To me I'd say go for it. Its not like they were engaged and aren't together because of you. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THEY DIDN'T WORK OUT. Just go and be happy. Let her figure her shit out and don't feel bad about it.

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