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Having acne made me feel like I was never going to be good enough for anyone. And while I am mostly clear, that attitude is still with me. Yeah. And here's the thing: I don't think I care all that much about it. Or perhaps I'm just lying to myself.

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Probably lying to yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it.

Sounds like you have low self-esteem; maybe an inferiority complex. Maybe that's just how you are...I don't know. Whatever the case, you can always try antidepressants. They'll take your mind off your skin and give you confidence. It's like being high all the time. Baby steps, though.

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Having acne made me feel like I was never going to be good enough for anyone. And while I am mostly clear, that attitude is still with me. Yeah. And here's the thing: I don't think I care all that much about it. Or perhaps I'm just lying to myself.

I feel the same way sometimes. I've never been kissed either, hehe. It does not bother me though and I am quite content with who I am now.

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How old are you? Either way it doesn't matter because there's always going to be people out there who don't care about acne, but first you need to put yourself out there!

Best of luck to you.

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Same here. I think things like that happen when they happen. Your current attitude sounds like a good place to be at. =)

Same here.... but you're gorgeous!

We should kiss because it's embarrassed that we have never been kissed. But unfortunately you're too far. :)

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Probably lying to yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it.

Sounds like you have low self-esteem; maybe an inferiority complex. Maybe that's just how you are...I don't know. Whatever the case, you can always try antidepressants. They'll take your mind off your skin and give you confidence. It's like being high all the time. Baby steps, though.

I deserve to be liked, and respected! In the past, people used to treat me like their son...

Even though I was a nice person and I respect anyone. Being a nice guy it's not easy! I'm very shy though, so it's hard for me to talk to a girl. I don't even have female friends.

Nonetheless, must move on! I'm going to college and become something! For now I'm taking writing and reading, and math classes. Perhaps I will meet a girl in there! Lets hope so. :P

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Probably lying to yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it.

Sounds like you have low self-esteem; maybe an inferiority complex. Maybe that's just how you are...I don't know. Whatever the case, you can always try antidepressants. They'll take your mind off your skin and give you confidence. It's like being high all the time. Baby steps, though.

No matter how much self improvement I make, it doesn't seem like it's enough to raise my self-esteem. I spend most of my day reading to become a smarter person. Learning the piano. The guitar. Chinese. Spanish. And I finally have the body I worked so hard to achieve. But I don't know how much better I need to be. I'm always comparing myself to others, and I never seem to measure up. Everyone seems to have this perception of the perfect guy and I will never fit their description.

I don't think using antidepressants would be a wise choice since I'm not really depressed.

I deserve to be liked, and respected! In the past, people used to treat me like their son...

Even though I was a nice person and I respect anyone. Being a nice guy it's not easy! I'm very shy though, so it's hard for me to talk to a girl. I don't even have female friends.

I hate that I'm such a nice person. I can't tell if my 'niceness' is all an act or that's just my nature.

Talking to girls isn't much of a problem for me because I'm so friendly. But that's it, I'm only seen as a friend.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FLIRT! IS FLIRTING NECESSARY. DATING PROTOCOL?

I feel like I should watch a romance movie to gain some insight.

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dude you look alright, seriously don't worry about it

(by the way I'm saying this in a most heterosexual way possible! Don't any of you have any crazy ideas :hand:)

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Dont worry about it bud.

I'm in a similar situation, feel like I'm not good for anyone. Went through an entire phase where I thought I wasn't good enough for my girlfriend, I don't deserve her and that she's too good for me. But hell I realized that you can't just live through life worrying about who you're good enough for and comparing yourself to others. Live for that moment, don't look at yourself then look at another guy across and wish you were him.

You are you.

Just live your life =)

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This is a common issue that has been brought up time and time again on the boards. When acne reduces self confidence, those who suffer from it also suffer with relating with other people, especially in a romantic relationship. It's hard to ever express your feelings for someone when you feel like they'll turn you down because no one could ever want you. The only times I've ever been kissed were when my skin was nearly clear.

But half of it is really confidence. Confidence is extremely attractive, because it is a sign of not only your state of mental health, but physical health as well.

Personally, I can relate a lot. Being a girl, it's hard to believe a guy would ever want me when they could get a prettier girl. The worse part is that I can't seem to lower my standards-I know my standards are higher than I deserve.

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Having acne made me feel like I was never going to be good enough for anyone. And while I am mostly clear, that attitude is still with me. Yeah. And here's the thing: I don't think I care all that much about it. Or perhaps I'm just lying to myself.

i kind of have the same problem ive been kissed many of times, but i get really shy around preety girls, which i could probably get al ot of them basically u just need to show some balls, which not trying to be mean i have a tough time doing it to i think once u break it though it will be the best thing that can happen.

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I had my first kiss last year when I was 19...not gonna lie, I thought it was gross hahahah Haven't kissed anyone since, you can either worry about stuff like that or keep your chin up and not care. You don't even look like your that old anyways. And as for your skin, you look pretty much completely clear.

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yah your self esteem is really tender, you gotta build it up somehow. What makes yo ulos eyour inhibition, or makes you do things you wouldn't do?

When i go lcubbing i sometimes lose my inhibition, I guess you gotta find something like that

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Yeah, I'm done being shy. Starting today, I'm going to live my life more happily. That means not caring what others might think, and start accepting myself and stop being self deprecating.

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Talking to girls isn't much of a problem for me because I'm so friendly. But that's it, I'm only seen as a friend.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FLIRT! IS FLIRTING NECESSARY. DATING PROTOCOL?

I feel like I should watch a romance movie to gain some insight.

Let her know you're interested in the beginning. If you approach her like a friend then you're going to be looked at as a friend (most of the time).

100 percent right thats still kind of my problem, i need to start appracching girls i like differently.

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Yeah, I'm done being shy. Starting today, I'm going to live my life more happily. That means not caring what others might think, and start accepting myself and stop being self deprecating.

The key to confidence stems from two sources:

-- Your abilities/looks/etc. For example, obviously if you were clear you would have much more confidence.

-- Not caring what others think. This is FAR more important than your looks, social skills, abilites, etc. You simply need to be comfortable around other people. Just think of things rationally and you'll be less anxious.

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As a late bloomer myself I've been really surprised at how little looks matter. I like the way I look (apart from my skin... which is slowly improving), but my looks are not the standard classic beauty you see in magazines. I have a fairly big nose for a girl and my face is noticeably assymetrical which of course we're all told is considered unattractive by many people. So I don't expect a lot of attention from guys and I'm a bit of a nerd, I tend to walk around a little disheveled so I don't exactly get hit on left and right.

And the truth is, I like it. I've been out with friends of mine who are model-gorgeous and I don't want the types of guys that tend to hit on them on the street. Surprisingly, my not-obviously-beautiful looks haven't kept me from getting guys interested in me -- I can easily find a guy to flirt with me if I'm at a house party / bar just by smiling or giving him the eye, and my day-to-day disheveled self has gotten herself some even better guys.

People like people who are interested in them, and when you express interest, they immediately start to consider the possibility. The trick is to make it subtle -- at first it's just about getting to know someone, no pressure, and only make a further move when you've sensed they're interested back. I think the most important thing is gaging their interest in you (which can be hard - you have to look at their body language mostly) and not waiting too long after you've seen this interest to up the ante by maybe getting a little closer, asking if they have a boy/girlfriend, maybe touching their arm, etc. This process can take 20 minutes or several months (months particularly if this is someone you see for short periods of time on a regular basis, like someone who goes to the same cafe as you).

Edited by Minerva473

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I've never been kissed either. A lot of my friends have and they regret it so much ahah. They'll be all warm and fuzzy in the moment and then be like EWWW I can't believe I kissed that guy!

And I have to agree with being happy I'm not model-gorgeous. Phew. What a pain that would be. Ugh I hate people looking at me. If I didn't like looking good for myself, or enjoy fashion so much, I would go out looking like a huge slob every day just so guys wouldn't hit on me. HAHA! Then again I've diagnosed myself as antisexual. Which is to say, I'm attracted to guys, but I don't want them anywhere near me in any sort of romantic or sexual way. Is that strange?

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Probably lying to yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it.

Sounds like you have low self-esteem; maybe an inferiority complex. Maybe that's just how you are...I don't know. Whatever the case, you can always try antidepressants. They'll take your mind off your skin and give you confidence. It's like being high all the time. Baby steps, though.

No matter how much self improvement I make, it doesn't seem like it's enough to raise my self-esteem. I spend most of my day reading to become a smarter person. Learning the piano. The guitar. Chinese. Spanish. And I finally have the body I worked so hard to achieve. But I don't know how much better I need to be. I'm always comparing myself to others, and I never seem to measure up. Everyone seems to have this perception of the perfect guy and I will never fit their description.

I don't think using antidepressants would be a wise choice since I'm not really depressed.

I deserve to be liked, and respected! In the past, people used to treat me like their son...

Even though I was a nice person and I respect anyone. Being a nice guy it's not easy! I'm very shy though, so it's hard for me to talk to a girl. I don't even have female friends.

I hate that I'm such a nice person. I can't tell if my 'niceness' is all an act or that's just my nature.

Talking to girls isn't much of a problem for me because I'm so friendly. But that's it, I'm only seen as a friend.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FLIRT! IS FLIRTING NECESSARY. DATING PROTOCOL?

I feel like I should watch a romance movie to gain some insight.

I understand where you're coming from, but what your talking about (what you need) is self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn't come from playing instruments, reading books, or having the perfect body. It comes from within and it's something that is always a work in progress. I have days where I feel like crap; I've been put down a lot in the past by people close to me etc. But I don't use what's happened to me as a sob story, I try to learn from it. After all, there are people in the world that have had it a hell of a lot harder than me (and everyone else here). Oh and this thing that guys usually have about being 'good enough'. I just want to say that as human beings we are all equal. People will make certain judgments about you, whether it's your appearance, or personality, or whatever. The reality is you will never be able to change this; you can only change your conduct towards others and how you see yourself. A decent person will notice this, they will see who you are and appraise you according to your character. If they don't, then they're not 'good' enough for you.

As for the dating thing, all I would say is be yourself. I think (and girls correct me if I'm wrong), often a guy finds himself in the 'friend zone' (lol) because he simply acts like a friend. I've found, in my very limited experience, that if you approach a girl from the start in a way that says 'I like you' (without being a sleaze bag), they usually react to your confidence (if they like you back). If they don't like you back: that's life. Everyone's been there, it doesn't mean your worthless or a reject, it's just part of growing up :)

Edited by matty_boy

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When I first met my boyfriend 8 years ago (yes we’ve been dating for eight years) he had never dated, kissed or even talked to a girl on the phone (he was 18). I on the other hand was pretty experienced. And now I regret not waiting for the right person. I’m his first everything and I really wish I could say the same.

Our relationship is that much more amazing to him, it makes me feel a bit jealous.

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When I first met my boyfriend 8 years ago (yes we’ve been dating for eight years) he had never dated, kissed or even talked to a girl on the phone (he was 18). I on the other hand was pretty experienced. And now I regret not waiting for the right person. I’m his first everything and I really wish I could say the same.

Our relationship is that much more amazing to him, it makes me feel a bit jealous.

But wouldn't you be elated that you have an eight year, quality relationship, rather than worrying about who kissed (or whatever) someone first? How can you find the right person if you don't date, kiss and talk to people on the phone in the first place?:) You just had a different experience to your partner, it doesn't mean that one is better than the other:)

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I couldn’t be more deeply in love with him, its ridiculous and extremely proud of our 8 year relationship.

I just wish that he was my first (pure and simple), especially when I think back on all the a-holes I dated in high school. Its something I regret. These are my feelings not his, he could care less.

But your right :D I could be such a girl sometimes.

Edited by leesett

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