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sareliz

I hate everything about myself.

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I wake up every morning and immediately wish I hadn't. I go to sleep each night hoping I won't wake up. Half the time, I fall asleep crying.

I'm so fucking tired of everything. I hate the way I look. I feel physically sick when I think about it, and it is literally PAINFUL to look at myself in the mirror.

I went to the doctor to get help a week ago. He gave me a steroid (Methylprednisolone) that was to last for five days, Retin-A (generic), and Tetracycline. I had seen a complete transformation and my skin had improved greatly over the course of like five days. Then, it rapidly went back downhill. The reason I went to the doctor in the first place was to get help for a nasty cyst I had last week because I wanted it to be gone before I had to perform in a play on Monday and Tuesday. It mostly went away. I was soooo happy. And now, a week later, after the steroid has run out, I have TWO CYSTS. Huge-ass ones. Bigger than the ONE I had before.

What the fuck. The doctor essentially made me worse with his shitty prescriptions.

I'm so fed up with these stupid cysts. They don't fucking go AWAY for months. I have the remainders of some from last year, still.

Right now I've got two in the same area on my upper right cheek right there where fucking everyone can see them. I hate myself. I really, truly do. I want to die. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. How can it go from so good to so incredibly horribly BAD so fast? Why does my life suck so much? Why does God hate me? :[

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don't usually say this stuff online, but you're beautiful. please don't hate yourself. Would you want your future children to hate himself or herself? A resounding no! I know its hard. I've been there. The fuckin cysts are persistent bastards, aren't they? But try to keep your head up. Don't fuel negative emotions; do not take comfort in negativity. I know that sometimes when we figure that we can't be perfect, we might as well be horrible. Perfection is the enemy of the good. Try to keep your head up! Rooting for you! Remember that as long as you are breathing life goes on. It goes on if you feel like shit. It goes on if you are feeling good. This, too, will pass! So move on, keep holding on, move on!

good luck!

I wake up every morning and immediately wish I hadn't. I go to sleep each night hoping I won't wake up. Half the time, I fall asleep crying.

I'm so fucking tired of everything. I hate the way I look. I feel physically sick when I think about it, and it is literally PAINFUL to look at myself in the mirror.

I went to the doctor to get help a week ago. He gave me a steroid (Methylprednisolone) that was to last for five days, Retin-A (generic), and Tetracycline. I had seen a complete transformation and my skin had improved greatly over the course of like five days. Then, it rapidly went back downhill. The reason I went to the doctor in the first place was to get help for a nasty cyst I had last week because I wanted it to be gone before I had to perform in a play on Monday and Tuesday. It mostly went away. I was soooo happy. And now, a week later, after the steroid has run out, I have TWO CYSTS. Huge-ass ones. Bigger than the ONE I had before.

What the fuck. The doctor essentially made me worse with his shitty prescriptions.

I'm so fed up with these stupid cysts. They don't fucking go AWAY for months. I have the remainders of some from last year, still.

Right now I've got two in the same area on my upper right cheek right there where fucking everyone can see them. I hate myself. I really, truly do. I want to die. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. How can it go from so good to so incredibly horribly BAD so fast? Why does my life suck so much? Why does God hate me? :[

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Hey don't get down on your self so much. I was there at one point in my life when I first started college. I had great skin and I was hit by the acne truck. It sucked so much, I wanted to skip class and I didn't want to hang with my friends. My friends didn't care that I had acne and they have never been ones to judge. Surround your self with positive people and think of yourself in a positive way. Life is a wild ride with all it's uncertainties. Just enjoy your life, you only have one so make the best of it. Acne isn't the worst thing in the world, people go through much worse like a terminal illness.

I really want to help you out. This is what has helped me with my skin.

I've used so many products on my face proactive, murad, bp, sa, tea tree oil, glycolic acid, apple cider vinegar, etc. that stuff never worked.

When I had cystic acne I was recommended to use noxzema original deep cleansing cream. The key is to leave it on the cyst for about 15-20 min, 3 times a day. They'll be gone in no time if you use this daily.

Sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your skin. It's the only time your skin repairs. 8 hours is a must for my skin or I will breakout. Try not to stay up to late either, it puts a lot of stress on your body.

I've come across one of the best things for my skin in general. I drink 2 cups of dandelion tea a day. It cleanses you from the inside out. You might break out initially. My skin drastically changed for the better. I also drink over 3 liters of water a day.

Try to work out 30 minutes every other day. If you don't have time, try steaming your face with a pot of water and use a towel to cover your head for about 10 minutes. I do this 3-4 times a week,

I've taken out all dairy products in my diet and stay away from sweets and highly processed foods. Make sure to get your daily amount of fiber (20-35g). Fiber is crucial for the good bacteria to thrive in your gi tract. I took a nutrition class when I had acne and it really helped me get my acne under control. If something is wrong on the outside it's typically caused by something going wrong on the inside.

If you do these things I'm sure you'll have great results.

I wish you nothing, but the best. Keep your chin held high and keep smiling. You have a great smile :)

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Nothing in this world is worth your life.

You want to give up on life because of some red things that grow on your face? Wow.. Lol.

Can't imagine what you would do if you had other problems.. Major ones that is.

Stay strong, you're still young. You're either going to grow out of it later on or find a reigmn that works.

Best of luck.. Try to think positive if you can. Too much energy is wasted thinking negatively.

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Hey hun, try not to get yourself down over it. I know it's hard I had real bad cystic acne a few years ago and as we speak one has flared up to the right of my chin!

The trick is to drain the bastards, once they are drained they heal up pretty quick. I use a hot/cold compress for about an hour before sleep then over night it usually brings the crap to the surface so you can make a small incision with a sterilised needle and drain the crap out.

Also, next time you see your dermatologist demand to be put on roaccutane, it's the only thing that ever stopped me flaring up. The steroids you were on do work wonders as I've heard but you need to attack the underlying problem for longer than 5 days (usual roaccutane courses are 16 weeks).

Keep your chin up. I know when I had that shit on my face I found it hard to look at people and frequently looked at the floor whilst walking. What I did was kind of shut myself off to the world and I trained with weights in my shed most days and nights so when I did clear up I'd have 2 improvements in life, face and body! Funny films and comdey sketches will cheer you up to. Stewart Francis- one liners (Youtube it). If that doesn't cheer you up then you can high five my face ha!

And remember, if you're going through hell, keep going! :D

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Alright... try to look at this from a different perspective, please? :(

Think about it... you have a life, a whole life itself. Think about how amazing it is, how you can move your arm, how you can blink, think about it all. Life by itself is just amazing. I mean, we all have the ability to do amazing things, our brains are like computers. We can talk, eat, we have thoughts, etc.

How could you even think about not having one at all? Do you have any idea how... crazy that is? You have a life for a reason. If you wake up, there's a reason for it. If you weren't meant to be here, you would be gone already. Sure, you may not understand why you are here or why you're going through these obstacles - but maybe you're supposed to? We all have struggles and it's a lesson. Passing the struggles are life's way of giving you happy moments... if we didn't have struggles our lives would be boring.

I heard a quote the other day: 'When it's dark enough, you can see the stars.' Think about other times you've been depressed about life - what have you gained since then? And don't say there hasn't been anything worth living for past that point because I know there is. There always is.

You could have had no life at all, and not even been broughten into this world. Don't you see how lucky you are to have a life? Think about people who appreciated life and had theirs taken away from them uncontrollably. I'm sure their loved ones would want them back and would give anything to see them again - why give yours up so easy?

Prove that you can live your life. Go out and fight the battles and show the world you can take on the struggle. Show them you're ready for what they throw at you next. :D

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I understand You Sareliz, i too weik up every day and a hate all what i see in a mirror, when i go out home i see in a people and they all have a perfect skin, i always ask, what i was do in a past? i not deserve that, when i was a yanger i always think, live always so terrible or just in a young thime? and now i think life always that terrible, and what i will think in a future? what happens in a future? but now i know just one, we all need fight, becouse if we do not fight in a future we will be feel sorry for that not fight

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My life is pain as well. After a while, the pain becomes like a drug and it's hard to live without; you become use to its everlasting presence, even if you absolutely hate it.

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My life is pain as well. After a while, the pain becomes like a drug and it's hard to live without; you become use to its everlasting presence, even if you absolutely hate it.

what You mean when You say that You can't live without pain? i think it's a masochism, it's abnormally

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What the fuck. The doctor essentially made me worse with his shitty prescriptions.

Right now I've got two in the same area on my upper right cheek right there where fucking everyone can see them. I hate myself. I really, truly do. I want to die. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. How can it go from so good to so incredibly horribly BAD so fast? Why does my life suck so much? Why does God hate me? :[

first off, you look good in your pic (i would have sex with you) so it could be worse you could be straight up ugly with damning facial features AND have acne.

second, god doesn't hate you, he just has bigger and better things to worry about right now; what with being the creator of the universe and whatnot(creating the universe was quite the feat if you ask me!).

third, do you sleep on your face?? if so start sleeping on your back(i know it's tough), im sure it wont clear you up 100% but it can only help because your face will be exposed to more oxygen and be able to breathe better.

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Guest Rocky666

Honestly if you want the truth, drop the meds and try Benzaclin, I mean I'm a definite skeptic about anything working and I've tried everything(i.e Proactiv for 2+ years, Clean & Clear Acne Advantage Kit, Neutrogena Advanced Skin Solutions, etc.) and I was very close to trying Skin ID, if you're at your wits end like I was and are willing to try anything like I was, try Benzaclin, it might not make the hugest difference at first but after awhile it'll mean everything to you.... just a suggestion. :think:

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Hey there,

Please take a look at my regimen (link in my sig)

If you have any questions please let me know.

K

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This has been posted on April 23rd, but I want to know if it went away? Are you clear?

I hope you've been doing great! But I give you sympathy for your situation! I know precisely how it feels!

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fuck. i hate myself too. you're not alone!!!!!!!!!!! i can get real big cysts growing too. and may take up to over 2 weeks to dissapear completely. the imflamed cysts i get usually stay big for maybe a week. and like you, saraliz, I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. i've had to go to a prom with a cyst. one of the absolute, WORST day of my life. on the bright side, you didn't have to perform with the cyst right? i also go to college and ppl i see everywhere have clear skin. and i get the huge ass ones which really puts a lot of emotional stress on me. i am still battling with cystic acne. i think it'd be nice if we add each other as friends or on msn and discuss our progress with clearing our acne.

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oh hahahhaah. i realized this was from april 23rd so it's not likely you'll answer back.

She's still active on this forum, so she may reply.

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i get you.. i feel horrible sometimes.. i dont hate nothing about myself.. i actually love evertyhing about myself and wouldnt want to be anyone else the only thing that i hate is how the skin on my face became.. i have OCD and ever since i got bad acne at 16 its been focused on my face and i guess all the focus i put on it has made it evne worst.. sometimes i dont even wana go on.. i think too much and i was getting sun in order to make it not look as bad, and now im worried i cause permanent hyperpigmentation.. my mind goes nuts over this crap.

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I hope you are in a better place now hun. And you know if you ever need to talk, I'm available. :wub:

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