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MellowFellow

Anybody ever had problems at work cause of their scars

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We had a party at work today and I was helping myself to some food. Now this female coworker who i noticed has a dislike for me and i'm assuming it's cause of my scars. I was only a couple feet away and she and a group of people were sitting down and i could here her say,"there's something wrong with the side of his face." then another co worker near her said," I know, i'm taking note of it" Obviously I didn't turn around to say anything cause i was so upset and self concience. I quickly ate my food and pretended to be ok but then i left the room. I just couldn't believe in a room full of adults people could stoop to this low a level. It just made me angry and upset and i literally just wanted to leave work altogether, go home and kill myself. i try my best not to think about my scars but when people come out and say stuff like that knowing your right there listening it just opens up all kinds of wounds. How can people be so damn cruel???

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I don't understand it. When I see people that are stuggling with something expectually like scars "I will not say anything" its terrible to say something like that when the person that has them cant do anything about them. life is a stuggle but keep pushing that rock up the hill.

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i was working with a female coworker and she was flirting with me. no mention of acne came up. she asked to look at my id. it happened to be taken a few months beforehand, and for some reason i had clear perfect skin. then she did a double-take at my face and blatantly said, "why was your skin clear in this picture?"

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We had a party at work today and I was helping myself to some food. Now this female coworker who i noticed has a dislike for me and i'm assuming it's cause of my scars. I was only a couple feet away and she and a group of people were sitting down and i could here her say,"there's something wrong with the side of his face." then another co worker near her said," I know, i'm taking note of it" Obviously I didn't turn around to say anything cause i was so upset and self concience. I quickly ate my food and pretended to be ok but then i left the room. I just couldn't believe in a room full of adults people could stoop to this low a level. It just made me angry and upset and i literally just wanted to leave work altogether, go home and kill myself. i try my best not to think about my scars but when people come out and say stuff like that knowing your right there listening it just opens up all kinds of wounds. How can people be so damn cruel???

Stand up to them. The more you cower and hide, the worse they'll behave. That behavior is inexcusably cruel.

Turn around, look them in the eye individually, inform them that there are plenty of etiquette sites that they obviously need to read.

Say it calmly, rationally, and with utter disdain for the opinion of fools.

Smile. Eat your dinner.

i was working with a female coworker and she was flirting with me. no mention of acne came up. she asked to look at my id. it happened to be taken a few months beforehand, and for some reason i had clear perfect skin. then she did a double-take at my face and blatantly said, "why was your skin clear in this picture?"

Some people haven't tact; that was simply a tactless question. I doubt the intent was to hurt (since she was flirting with you).

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We had a party at work today and I was helping myself to some food. Now this female coworker who i noticed has a dislike for me and i'm assuming it's cause of my scars. I was only a couple feet away and she and a group of people were sitting down and i could here her say,"there's something wrong with the side of his face." then another co worker near her said," I know, i'm taking note of it" Obviously I didn't turn around to say anything cause i was so upset and self concience. I quickly ate my food and pretended to be ok but then i left the room. I just couldn't believe in a room full of adults people could stoop to this low a level. It just made me angry and upset and i literally just wanted to leave work altogether, go home and kill myself. i try my best not to think about my scars but when people come out and say stuff like that knowing your right there listening it just opens up all kinds of wounds. How can people be so damn cruel???

I'm sorry that happened. People may get older but they never really grow up. Not a lot of people understand what people who suffer from acne go through and its a constant struggle to be in the public eye under their scrutiny. Just know you are stronger and a hell of a lot better than them and if you need be you tell her what's up. Since you work with them you don't have to go off but let them know, look what you see is the result of acne scarring, I may not be perfect to you but that doesn't make it right for you to try and outcast me.

*for the scarring, If you are interested*

I suffered from the scarring for a long time and managed to make them look a lot less noticeable. *no I don't wear makeup*

I can only say what I used I don't know if it would work for anyone else but its not that bad almost not noticeable IMO its not gone but its not that bad now.

I used proactiv *don't anymore* the key was the very last step. I took out the benzoyl peroxide at step three at night and used for a year their nighttime clarifying cream. It has retinol and salicylic which one derm once said to me is like giving your face a mini chemical peel.

If the cream can be used alone without the system i'm all for it and I think the toner*glycolic acid also used in facial peels I believe*. That cream worked to even my skin tone and dramatically help my acne scarring.

If you already have a method then continue with it, but don't let those a-holes mess you up more emotionally. We all have flaws people like to point at and make fun off, we can let them break us or make us stronger. (yeah its easier said than done I sometimes fail at this too )

I wish you luck and hope you feel better!!

Sorry if i sound corny LOL

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Truly appalling. People like that are disgusting and most likely living in their own personal hell. To deliberately put you down like that reflects something seriously "wrong" w/THEM.. psychologically, morally & spiritually.. much less your face! Id take mere surface flaws any day over the deep ugliness imprinted on one's soul.

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Truly appalling. People like that are disgusting and most likely living in their own personal hell. To deliberately put you down like that reflects something seriously "wrong" w/THEM.. psychologically, morally & spiritually.. much less your face! Id take mere surface flaws any day over the deep ugliness imprinted on one's soul.

yep^^^^ :clap:

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i can relate to your story brotha. i am a stoker at Costco and i always get co wokers looking the other way when they pass rigth next to me or they even talk about my scars as if it was a disease that they could catch by looking at me. i would always get down because people dont see me by who i am as person its more of an appearance. But, i said heck with what people think of me im just gonna while them with my happy personality and i act like i dont care what they think. i cant change how i look so whatever. The one people that do see me for who i am are christian people because they are not wrapped in this Hollywood world where appearance is everything. my advice to you is think positive every time even if people talk about you.

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i apprecieat all the input from you guys.that's what i love about this site is the support group.we all know how horrible it is living with this and we all have been in similar situations.

what really scares me and gets me thinking the most is that this woman shortly after went up to greet somebody and had this big smile on her face. you'd think she was the most friendliest person in the world. It seems alot of people are like that. How many times do you ever hear someone say,"she's so nice or he's such a nice guy" but those same people they talk about shun you or hold you in distaste because of your scarring? that's one of the things that kinda frustrates me the most having to deal with this problem. there's just this huge social stigma associated with scarring and you miss out on so many social interactions that most people take for granted.

and i'm always skeptical when people are friendly with me up front. you can't see my scars looking at me directly.you'll only see it if you're looking at me from the side. i can't tell you how many times people change their demeanor from friendly to dismissive once they see my scars. This problem has really made me look at people in a different light. Of course, there are some genuinely good people out there but in my opinion most people at the core are very very shallow.

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That's really awful! What if you said to one of them "hey look at the size of her stomach!" "Yeah, I see it." That would be so wrong, not just for a person's feelings but because it's socially unacceptable. People just don't understand.

I used to freeze up when people would call me out on my scars and not say anything, even when I was really uncomfortable about the comments they make. Now, though, I'm more comfortable to say, "this is something I'm self-conscious about, kindly keep your opinion to yourself." Next time call those bitches out. You didn't deserve it and they need to act like adults!!!

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Yeah people tend to hate you if you have bad acne scars. They look at you and only see your scars and give you a bad vibe. Life's a bitch, and unfortunately so are a lot of people. I've had the same thing said about me...just because I have my back towards them they assume I can't hear what they're saying, but you have to be retarded to actually believe that. I've heard it all before; 'eww that's gross,' 'that's one nasty dude,' or 'a face only a mom could love.' Has this gotten me down? Hell fucking yes it has, and I wanted to kill myself thousands of times because of it...but I'm still here trying my best to undo some of the damage my scars have caused me. It's hard living like this, and it's even harder when you lose faith in people. But coming here and getting tidbits and support has renewed hope in me...

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People dont like disfigured ghoulish looking people, we cant blame them.Were the ones who arent normal, were the ones with the fucked up genes and face.Get used to it, we just aint on their level.

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Ugh how was it any of their business anyway? Its not like its affecting their daily life for them to comment on it. They're just bitches.

Sometimes it makes you think about how some people raise their children :|

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People dont like disfigured ghoulish looking people, we cant blame them.Were the ones who arent normal, were the ones with the fucked up genes and face.Get used to it, we just aint on their level.

Thats not true! And stop telling yourself that! Everyone has their vices - humankind isn't meant to be "perfect".

So you have some stuff on your face - so fucking what? You're still physically and mentally able to function everyday just like all the "normal" people, and there is a percentile of the population that are ignorant bitches and don't understand this. You shouldn't have to change yourself to fit the world.

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if i took the time to look at everyone one in the world with a fine tooth comb il find ugly stuff on them too. People aren't perfect, thats reality. if some people don't realized that then there in fairly land. someday they'll look at there aging bodys and say wtf!

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Amen. Everyone has a mother and father who wants the best for them. Everyone was born onto this earth. For those reasons alone, everyone deserves equal respect, acne or no acne, scars or no scars.

People dont like disfigured ghoulish looking people, we cant blame them.Were the ones who arent normal, were the ones with the fucked up genes and face.Get used to it, we just aint on their level.

Thats not true! And stop telling yourself that! Everyone has their vices - humankind isn't meant to be "perfect".

So you have some stuff on your face - so fucking what? You're still physically and mentally able to function everyday just like all the "normal" people, and there is a percentile of the population that are ignorant bitches and don't understand this. You shouldn't have to change yourself to fit the world.

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you should not let people talk to you like that...you shoulda told her she was fat...nobodys perfect you shoulda found something wrong with her and say it to her face.

my reply woulda been...."and your perfect? fuck is wrong with your teeth? why dont you lose some weight? you have clear skin and your still ugly? shoulda told her to fuck off and threw some food at her face to make her look dumb...she woulda deserved it too.

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Yeah you gotta stand up for yourself mellowfellow. Dont let people put you down like that. Just be like " what did you just say about me?!", try to make that girl feel like shit the best you can. You do what you gotta do. You got to be strong in a world thats tough, cant just rollover and die.

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Yeah you gotta stand up for yourself mellowfellow. Dont let people put you down like that. Just be like " what did you just say about me?!", try to make that girl feel like shit the best you can. You do what you gotta do. You got to be strong in a world thats tough, cant just rollover and die.

You're only igniting more hatred by putting down those who make ignorant remarks. Best thing to do is make eye contact when they say shit like that and stand your ground. Acknowledge them by looking at them as soon as you hear their crap, but if they persist in their nasty behavior you just have to let them know how you feel about it. That's a start at least...And if all else fails, just do exactly what that person does to you...make remarks behind their backs and make it an 'eye for an eye.' That person is most likely a bitch, so start with that. A wise person would tell you to just walk away and be the bigger person, but I'm not at that level yet. Some people need a good lesson on decency.

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Hey man i kind of know what you are talking about. Im 17 and one time at school one of my friends asked me what was on my face, I know he didnt mean it in a mean way but i was still pretty sad about it. When you say you have scars are they the same thing I have? also have you tried fraxel treatment i know it expensive but i heard its supposed to work well.

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You don't have to throw insults at the person. It really is not going to make you feel any better, so what's the point. If you had just had just confronted her and said something like, "What did you just say?", she probably would have been embarassed and said nothing and in the future because she know nows you're not a doormat, would've thought twice about talking about you like that within earshot.

You know, just because you have acne scars doesn't mean you are a lesser person. I think a lot of people forget that and internalize a lot of the hate, so that's why they don't say anything. I hate to say it, but I get the feeling a lot of the people here would be that person making rude comments, if they weren't in the situation they are in. Someone made a comment about that being the way it is, that we are "not on their level." It's unfortunate, but a lot of people on this forum feel that way. Until you get it out of your head that acne scars do not define you as a person, you are always going to feel sorry for yourself and not stand up to people.

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Well I can tell just by reading your post that you probably have a worse case than I do and I am lucky because mine is only on my right cheek. And it is only noticeable in certain lights.

I have often wondered if people notice or not, because it looks worse in some mirrors and in some isn't as noticeable...due to lighting etc.

I do sometimes wonder if people notice and I don't know to be honest. I am sure some do and some do not in my case as my left cheek is really great oddly.

I sometimes try to talk to people with my left side of my face more which is annoying to have this in the back of my mind. It is also annoying to think about this every day. It is torture really.

My girlfriend actually broke up with my after I had a bad breakout. I didn't have acne for 6 months and then I suddenly got it bad (only on my right cheek) which made the scarring look worse at that time which sucked. I am not saying she broke up with my for that necessarily but I wonder if it made things worse. Who knows?

Are people really that shallow? Yeah probably.

It sucks to say it. Is your life over? No

What do I recommend? Make sure to get on some retinoid like tazorac or renova or retin A, (gel forms probably) and start using it every night to improve your skin appearance. It actually helped a lot with my acne and could possibly be helping my scarring (too early to tell only 2 months and a half in).

Definitely get on a retinoid.

Then talk to a doc after 4-6 months after being on a topical powerful retinoid. Make a plan for a series of facial peels, tca cross, surgery, or laser depending on what's right for you.

And then do it.

That is what I am currently doing. Hope it works out for me and you.

As far as people talking about you behind your back.

That is really awful and I am sorry. That could be very VERY painful and I can only imagine that feeling because that has not happened to me.

What you need to do is start working towards goals so you can keep your sanity.

Best of luck and keep your chin up.

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