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**Princess**

MY story and My feeling (picture)

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me as a model

Emotions that Acne sufferers feel.

Everyday I wake up - look in the MIRROR

I see not me, not you but a PERSON, who I don’t know,

The person is un-happy, DISEASED

The disease is not just on the outside but is plaguing her BRAIN

Plaguing her brain with UGLY, SPOTTY words.

She hasn’t been outside for days because she’s AFRAID of facing the music

Facing the music of whispers and STARES, questions that have no ANSWERS,

It’s not just what other people think, its hurting HER more than ever,

Its eating away at her mind, herself SELF CONFIDENCE

Her ability to LOVE HERSELF has vanished,

She feels like AN ALIEN but people say this disease is NATRAL

Its only NATRAL to them until they get the DISEASE

She LOCKS herself away night after day,

Hoping that her self CONFIDENCE will come back,

Back after all these YEARS –How long has it been now?

FIVE YEARS of having to stare and HATE a complete stranger in the mirror.

MEDICATION is available but everything takes TIME,

DON’T get her wrong she is grateful for every bit of HELP

But as the PILLS SLOWLY eat away

Her TEENAGE LIFE is being ruled by a DISEASE

Even if theDISEASE goes she will be SCARED for LIFE

Not just on the OUTSIDE but the INSIDE too

Scared of peoples REACTIONS and EVILNESS,

She REALISES there is OTHER PEOPLE who has the disease

OTHER PEOPLE who go through what she does EVERY HOUR Of EVERYDAY

The girl DREAMS that she will be free from evilness and ACNE one day

BUT ONE DAY is too far away it takes too much TIME

AND the girl can be patient but its taking away the YEARS that are meant to be the best

The girl NEEDS HELP before SHE HELPS HERSELF in a way everyone will feel pain,

It hurts the girl to say this and TEARS fall from her eyes but the GIRLS IS ME

It takes all my STRENGH to ADMIT that I have ACNE and I will have it FOREVER

By Clair XxX

This poem isn’t written to get attention it’s simply the way I feel.

ACNE is a DISEASE and if someone had CANCER which is a DISEASE people don’t laugh at them it’s the same feeling. SO WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT US?

IF I HAD ONE WISH I WOULD WISH FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS ACNE TO BE CLEARED, CLEARED FOREVER………… IMAGINE THAT. BUT EVEN THAT’S TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR IN THIS UNFAIR WORLD.

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OK, you are very upset. You are so young, have you tried accutane??? Now is the best time to do it, it can get rid of the stuff.

Forget the best years of your life crap....they can come at any time in life but I know lost time is tragic & painful no matter when it happens.

You might think this is BS but I'm telling you IT WILL get better. Just hang in there & you can come on this board cause most people on here know exactly what you're going through. biggrin.gif

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thanks for the advice its highly apreciated i am minocyclin but its not taking much effect do you ever get to the point where you just want to give up

thanks x x

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I've been at the give up point plenty of times & given up & just disappeared. You have a loooong life to live & you can have DECADES of good years ahead of you.

IF your acne is as bad as it sounds, the topicals & antibiotics often DON'T WORK. They didn't for me, not at all. TELL the doctor how this is affecting you & if the doc doesn't listen, get a different one. Ask for accutane, it is the only thing that worked for me & your best bet.

This disease is unpredicatable, sometimes it goes away on its own early on, sometimes it doesn't & it can last a long time so don't waste any more time & check out the accutane. biggrin.gif

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thank you for being so suppotive and helpful i will ask my docter for accutane and HOPEFULLY this will be my line to pull me away from this feeling. i hate feeling like this i just want to get on with my life, get away from acne i hate that word but i spose the truth hurts. i've always been told to love myself and somoene but how can i love someone when i hate myself. i will keep you posted on how i do and im so thankful for your help. keep in touch yer? x x x

T*H*A*N*K*Y*O*U

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Like many people on this board, I am strongly agaisnt taking antibiotics for acne. Yes they will help, but they are only a short term solution, which often produce negative results far worse then acne. I took acutane for months, worked great. A few months later i was right back where i started. Now years later, my acne is very mild (mainly do to a good diet and exercise). Accutance left me with severly dry lips, as i constantly need to apply something so they do not crack. Yes, i know my effetcs from accutane arent so bad, but others have had it alot worse. Antibiotics can do more harm than good, and are only masking a bigger probelm inside your body.

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Hey Blondie, i know exactly what you're going through, its like fighting an uphill battle, everything is against you, and it seems as though no one understands what your going through, My acne was really bad, it flared up last September, and i got put on Accutane last December, ive been off accutane for nearly 8 weeks, my skin is far better than it was, but i have loads of red marks and scars now, which in my opinion is worse than having acne!

I'm 19 years old and haven't been out of my house for 9mths, apart from going to the occasional hospital appointment, at this point in time i can honestly say i wish i was dead, i dont want to have to live like this anymore, because lets face it, all i do is exist, i dont LIVE. Its like every minute of everyday all i can think about is my skin, and how ugly i am, and it hurts like hell! I just want to give up!

I've had Phyciatrists and phycologists, both try to help me, but it didn't work one little bit, No one can help me.

Am through.

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Try not to get so depressed people, I know it's difficult. But focus on the positive aspects of your life, not just the acne. But you should think positive about the acne, too. For instance, Shady, you have said you do not have any active acne anymore. This is definitely a good thing - the scars and red marks may be bad now, but they are certainly not going to get worse. In a year's time I am sure that they will have improved a huge amount.

It's difficult but try not to let acne dominate your life. Acne does not prevent the people that matter caring about you.

Think positive - you're not alone and you'll get through this smile.gif

Carry a lightbulb! idea.gif

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Shady, I whole-heartedly know what your going through because I'm battling it right now as well. While advice like Rossignol's is provided with the best of intentions it doesn't come close to addressing the desperation you feel. The problem isn't the acne it's your loss of faith in yourself. Let me guess, you constantly berate yourself and its gotten to the point were you no longer believe you deserve to be happy. In fact, happiness is like a far off dream. I've been there and it's taken the loss of a number of strong friendships to make me realize what I've been doing to myself. I know that when all my active acne disappeared I became more depressed than ever because it felt like now, I would be ugly forever and I just began to berate myself more and more. Talk to someone, you need reassurance about your own worth and since its not working on our own you have to reach out

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damn to me that poem was strong. I've only really had acne for a year and a half but am worried sick for every pimple that appears, every red mark on my face, it's not a bad case but I'm terrified it'll get worse and I'll end up to depressed to go outside. although things look grim, there's something out there for YOU. you just gotta find it and work at it, then one day you'll be clear, just pray and search for that. do u have a religion, if not get one! it really can help a lot of people spirituaslly if there seems like no other way. I know that If i had ugly uncontrollable acne I would never be able to leave the house or socialize. just PLEASE DO NOT give up your life for acne! it only encourages it to ruin more lives...

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Sorry if my comment seemed superficial. I guess I just don't understand the depression that well. :sad:

Do you think that it's harder for females with acne, because for men somehow it's seen as more acceptable? Don't get me wrong, I'm a guy and I've found it awful at times having acne, but I hardly ever let it get me depressed. I think I'm lucky in some ways, as my most severe acne and scarring is all over my chest and back, which means it doesn't affect my life in the same ways as when it's on your face and obvious to everyone. Although, I think it has stopped me getting into a relationship, as I would be too frightened of the reaction of my girlfriend if I had one (even the nurse when she saw my back made an involuntary exclamation of horror... sad.gif )

But anyway I just find it difficult to know how to encourage people who feel like you, Shady. I suppose all I can say is that I'm thinking of you and you're in my prayers. I hope you come through this, and I'm sure you will. smile.gif

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I have been feeling like a hermit myself lately. I agree with Rossignal and Shea and it's great to have people just say they understand even if they haven't been thru the depression. I think sometimes the anxiety comes from not knowing what to do about acne/scars, you just have to have a plan and then know that you are doing the best you can and pat yourself on the back for it and acknowlege that you are a good person even if you don't look that good on the outside right now. Also when I am down about my skin and become obsessed with the reflection, I look in the mirror and tell that reflection that is not going to control me and that I will not be tortured by it. Empower yourself and take control because God has given all of us that ability. Also if I find myself obsessing and getting anxious/depressed about life it helps to just start vacuuming, cleaning, organizing, do dishes ( these are good things to do if your not leaving the house) It will get your brain unlocked from things for awhile.

Don't let this crap beat you, life is short and in the end it will matter how you fought this!

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Great sentiments Tricia. I definitely agree that keeping busy is something that's often neglected. Even just sitting and reading this board for hours can end up making you feel more depressed than when you started! It is important to take your mind off things, especially late at night when we all feel at our worst.

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I know it's very hard to love yourself especially when you have bad acne/scars, but you can if you believe in yourself. Whenever somebody laughs or whispers to one another talking about your physical fault, just hold your head high and move on.

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Hey Blondie, i know exactly what you're going through, its like fighting an uphill battle, everything is against you, and it seems as though no one understands what your going through, My acne was really bad, it flared up last September, and i got put on Accutane last December, ive been off accutane for nearly 8 weeks, my skin is far better than it was, but i have loads of red marks and scars now, which in my opinion is worse than having acne!

I'm 19 years old and haven't been out of my house for 9mths, apart from going to the occasional hospital appointment, at this point in time i can honestly say i wish i was dead, i dont want to have to live like this anymore, because lets face it, all i do is exist, i dont LIVE. Its like every minute of everyday all i can think about is my skin, and how ugly i am, and it hurts like hell! I just want to give up!

I've had Phyciatrists and phycologists, both try to help me, but it didn't work one little bit, No one can help me.

Am through.

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Guest Brandon

I had a bad breakout in late August/early September and right around the beginning of March I started to control my acne with prescriptions and B5, and a better knowledge of how to deal with this.....disease. All I had were some redmarks and after a long time of being so self conscious of every blemish, I realized that the breakouts were over and I was feeling better just trying to work on fading the red marks and moving on with life...my face was not clear by any means, but I felt better about myself. I can't say life was good, but it was improved and I began to go out again and stopped being a hermit...but now the breakouts have come back and I had one monster spot that was huuuuge. I guess it was cystic...I drained it and it has that purple shade to it now and godddd I'm severely depressed again. I don't want to go out. I mean it's Memorial day weekend, and I've been inside the past couple of days with the shades drawn.

The point of this is that as soon as you start to clear up...jump on that opportunity to go have fun. Don't let it pass you by, or you'll regret it later. Acne is like a volcano...sometimes it's dormant, then before you know it....BOOM! It erupts all over your fucking face, and you feel like the only relief is sweet death.

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Blondie I know exactly how you feel. Acne has literally ruined and I mean ruined my life. I had been told that I was a you know cute guy when my acne was just minimal, but now that is is fucking up my face I can't even bring myself to look at a girl in the eye. If your acne is really bothering you as much asyou say it is then I would suggest going on accutane. I am on it right now, almost 8 weeks and its is really really hard but I know that there is a light at the end of a tunnel. I try my hardest not to get depressed I'm sure like you, but in the end I am just depressed as crap cause my skin look slike absolute shit. Somedays I wake up and think my face isn't that that bad, but by nightime it looks like I got shot in the face with little red paintballs. All I can say is really best of luck to you and post your picture if you want because I but its not as bad as you think.

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Guest Brandon

That's a great picture of a great looking girl. Is that an older picture?

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that's a great picture, I feel horrible that acne is wasting your time when u could go out be in fashion and model. just remember that's what you'll look like when it's all over, and it WILL be over you just have to fight for it, try the antibiotics, the creams, there's always something that will work for you, and If you you put your full effort in it you'll be clear so keep you head up and don't let acne beat you.

I see you as a sweet pretty young girl with a lot to live for. I know that acne must have put you down, cause hell it has to me, just don't give up.

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Clair,

I read a book that said "People tend to create Hell for themselves." What is Hell? A place where you're in constant torture. STOP creating Hell for yourself.

I know how you're feeling. I've been through horrid acne. In fact, I still have moderate acne right now. I've tried every product you could name. Benzyl Peroxide works for non inflammatory acne but it tends to cause me cystic acne and it ages me greatly so I stopped. The more you obsess about how 'bad' you look, the worst you will feel.

Gear your energy towards something productive. For instance, I enjoy research, particulary in the area of skin. I'm gearing 7 years of research, my doctorate degree and my interest in skin towards producing a product that will handle acne. In fact, I'm done with the research so I'll be producing the acne portion of the product today and trying it on myself to see if it works. (I tried one of them on my boyfriend and he saw an instant change which impressed him since he said he has never seen pores get smaller instantly in any product before!).

What do you enjoy? Go out and do it smile.gif Immerse yourself in it and be happy.

Let people see past the skin and to your inner beauty. Sounds cliche but for you to obsess on how you look sends the message that you're all looks! And I know you're not all looks because your artistic, and beautiful.

razz.gif

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hi people, thanks for all the great compliments i wish i felt so possitive about myself.my ance is taking over my life. i find it so hard to see myslef as a normal person. i hate mirrors and i hate myself. my acne is worsening im going to the docters next week, who knows what i will look like then. a alien! T*H*A*N*K*Y*O*U for all your support. love *blondie*

by the way that is the most recent picture of me that i have.

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that's a picture of you with acne, it's either u have a pretty damn good makeup team following u around or u should show us a picture of u with acne...

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