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Okay, I'm 15 and I've had acne since I was about 12.

I know alot of you might think this is a very short time but for me, it's been an eternity.

I can barely go 10 minutes without thinking about my face, wondering if I should go put more makeup on, not making eye contact, not talking to anyone, and I'm sick of it!

I started geting acne in year 7 just on my forehead, I never thought it would turn into very severe acne that has me waking up crying, crying myself to sleep, and just spending all my spare time crying, always being depressed.

I've tried everything, doxycycline, pro-activ, etc. I could name 20 products off the top of my head right now that don't work.

I hate my life, and every day I just think about killing myself, about ending it all. When I'm in the pool, for example, I just think, "right, here's my chance, just go under and don't come back up" But I'm a coward. And I never succeed in killing myself, obviously.

I'm fucking sick of using makeup that hardly helps, of people making fun of me, talking about me behind my back, making subtle remarks about my skin. It's like those jerks who don't have skin problems think I don't even know I have acne.

Fuck them all to hell. I hate everyone except my cat, who is the only one I can talk to.

I hate every single thing about my life now, and am tempted to just stop breathing when people point out my acne. WHen they stare at my forehead like I don't realise, I tried fixing this by having a side fringe cut, but it didn't work.

I'm sorry for going on about my shit life, but I havn't had the chance to talk to anyone in years. And I'm NOT going to a fucking shrink. They don't know anything.

Acne's taking over my life. I don't participate in any family events anymore, not even Christmas. Last Christmas my little 3 year old cousin asked me what bit my face. I can't blame him, he doesn't know I'm different yet, but I spent the rest of that day sitting on the toilet and hurting myself, don't know why.

I've been invited to a pool party for my friend's 15th birthday but I told her I couldn't come, because I don't want them seeing myback or shoulders, which are just as horrifying as my face. I'm not putting anyone throug seeing that.

Please, please help me, recommend some treatments! I fucking hate my life, I'm ignoring those I used to love, and I'm neglecting everyone, even my friends, who I now swear at and abuse in my head while putting on a fucking happy face all the time.

If you can't recommend anything to me to fix my skin, please recommend a painless suicide method. Because I want to go through with suicide, but I don't have the guts to do anything painful.

And another bad thing is I've always wanted to be an actress, as long as I can remember. But now, thanks to my face, I don't even have a chance. And now I hate all fucking clear skinned shit head actresses like picture perfect Dakota Fanning. Fuck you all, clear skinned bitches.

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This post is very dangerous and depressing. No one should tell you how to kill yourself. I know acne is terrible. Ive had it for almost twelve years and it is depressing but youve got to stay strong. Look at the positives in your life

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Acne has killed all the positives in my life.

Maybe I'll go through life being happy that my problems are positives for other people. Because if I stand next to someone, I make them look better in comparison.

Fuck, my life sucks.

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Jeez man. I know what it is like feeling like you want to die. I know it all too well.

I hear everyone talking about accutane, have you tried it? Seeing a derm would definitely help to begin with.

Concerning suicide methods though, most are painful. Half of the time they won't work either, which will leave you either in a hospital suffering immense pain, or killing you slowly from the inside. Sadly, I know.

So I'd offer more advice, but I don't want to give you the usual stuff that people say, you know, beauty is on the inside, ignore everyone, blah blah because that stuff is generic and doesn't usually apply.

All I can tell you is that if you want to die, at least make your life have some kind of meaning or difference to it.

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Hi, Porcepine.

I am very sorry to hear that you are having a very hard time coping with acne, but please check with a counselor on this issue. While you may voice various issues at the Emotional and psychological effects of acne forum, we strongly feel this is not a suitable place to share suicidal thoughts with other members. I strongly encourage you to seek a professional assistance on this matter.

Information about professional assistance can be found here:

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/resources...lai-t16184.html

I am closing this thread for now, not because your feelings aren't important, and not because I don't think you need support, but because you are asking for advice on how to kill yourself.

Again, I think it would be very beneficial for you to seek some sort of professional help about this.

Try to keep your chin up.

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