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I have actually tried refraining myself from coming into this part of the forum for sometime because many times, I find myself getting even more depressed looking at the various posts on in this section. While I tried to comfort people with posts in the past, I can't even manage my own feelings well.

So many times, I really don't know why this sort of thing has to befall all of us. I have struggled with acne for 7 years, I'm so sick and tired of all this crap. I hate to look at any photos taken in the past because they always nearly drive me mad, I remembered how in the past when I was still very young, how everyone said I was so pretty and stuff, but... acne ruined everything. Every now and then, I looked at shows or ads on TV or flipped the magazines and saw all those models with clear skin and everything, I always felt I was so dirty as compared to them. It is a distorted view but I just feel that I'm so dirty because of acne. I can't even behave like a normal human. I shy away from taking any photos, I lock myself in the house, I cried and cried, no one around me understand what I'm going through, I feel like isolating myself, I just feel like dying.

Every morning when I wake up, there is always the feeling of loathe in me, I'm so scared of looking into the mirror, for I'm so afraid that the condition would worsen...while it made sense that girls loved looking into the mirror, I hate the mirror so much. Putting on make-up made me so sick and tired...it seems like nothing could ever change the fact I have been ruined.

Everyone around me, my friends at school, my sisters, all of them looked so beautiful, with clear skin and everything, whereas whenever I stand beside them and feel so ugly, I had to force myself to swallow all the tears. I get all sorts of comments, from kids to adults, from "why is your face like that?" to "didn't you go for facials?" I lived in complete fear as each day passes, only to worry if tomorrow will be worst. Everyday I had to tell myself to hang in there, I'm so sick and tired, I don't know when will be the day when I can't hang on anymore.

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hi there,

i can totally relate.... i constnatly flip through magazines and look at all the models' clear skin and it ruins me. when i go out, it's been a habit of mine to check out other girls' skin to see if any of them has it as bad as i do...

and of course, some have it better, some have it worse, but what difference does it make? i've been trying to refrain from comparing myself to others.

whatever you do, just don't lose hope in this battle of acne. keep trying and you'll find something that'll clear you up. maybe not completely, but at least get your acne under control. i ask myself why i have to put up with this battle, while others don't even have to worry about their skin. i wish i could just wake up and splash water on my face and be ready to go. i'm sick of hiding behind makeup too, bceause i know it's only a matter of time before it wears off and everyone can see all the marks lurking beneath...

i'm still looking for a regimen that'll work the best for me and in the meantime, i'm trying not to let this acne get me down. i have horrible days where i just hide at home, but as soon as it gets better i try to go out and function like a normal human being...

there is so much more to me than my skin. i have a mind, body, soul, and heart. this is a great opportunity for me to discover my inner beauty and self worth... i am still a human worthy of love with or without acne.

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hikarino i feel the same way too. I constantly feel I was robbed of something. In the past when I managed to look relatively " clean" and acne-free (coz my marks take a long time to go away) I got so much more positive attention, it made me all the more aware of what I'm missing out on. Now I have more scars, it's just depressing. I can't look in mirrors in public toilets without feeling ashamed. There's usually someone else next to me looking at her own reflection, and the person usually has nice normal skin. If i catch her glancing at me I will leave quickly, I feel like I don't have as much right to look in the mirror because of my inferior complexion.. warped as that sounds.

Now I put my hope in thinking I would one day solve this problem. I'm also trying to divert my attention away from my appearance.

I find maya's approach to dealing with her scars very interesting and admirable, she actually has no problems telling people how the scars affect her emotionally. For me I don't dare do that because I think being as affected by acne as i am is something to be ashamed of. My family berates me for it. I might try sharing my thoughts with some people I trust and have good vibes about.

I suffered from acne for 7 years too, the first year was mild, after that it was cystic, now its moderate/ mild but leaves pretty bad marks and scars.

You're not alone, you can always talk to me.

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Yeap we all been there... i really dread looking in the mirror in the morning

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Thanks for all your replies.

I just find it all so weary, being cursed by something I don't even know why.

All the money, all the effort, all the time spent in finding something that will work for me just seems so wasted whenever I look at myself and the state I'm in, completely miserable.

Many times, it has come to a point whereby I don't even dare to try new things because I was so afraid that it may only serve to worsen my acne problem, or just scared that if I get my hopes too high, I may get even more disappointed when things don't turn out the way I WISHED it would.

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