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Jb Ave

You Could've Been Beautiful

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Saying you could have been beautiful is preposterous for the opportunity is never absent. Beauty doesnt lie in flawless skin or bone structure, washboard abs or a slim waistline. Beauty burst forth from your being, your fire to live, who you choose to be INSPITE of what others says, what the mirror shows. I've spent a great deal of time on this website (for better or for worse) and everyday i see all these beautiful people shackling themselves to other peoples opinions other people judgements. It pains me to see such beautiful people caged, but the keys to those cages are in your own hands, in your own hearts...

Thats an admirable attempt at redirecting the issue, but the reality is that physical attractiveness and virtue are not mutually exclusive. i completely agree with your sentiment that defining yourself by your appearance is awful, but it is natural that people want to improve their appearance. i kind of assumed thats why we were all here.

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what I hate about is when I watch TV with people in the house and then an advertisement for acne just kinda like pop up out of nowhere........ It's so awkward.

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what I hate about is when I watch TV with people in the house and then an advertisement for acne just kinda like pop up out of nowhere........ It's so awkward.

Ad's for acne? Wow we never get that in the UK. Well ive never seen it at least. I think I would be the same though. I would be worried that, especially with friends, it would bring up the conversation of my skin. And I always get embarrassed when im talking about it to most people.

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Don't slaughter me guys, but I think everyone would have the same problems no matter what. You would still feel the same way about yourself, but you would blame it on something else, if you didn't have acne. The skin stuff is just another thing to blame your problems on. Yes, you wouldn't have your skin to worry about if you didn't have acne, but you would worry about other things.

I kinda agree. Before I had acne and even now that it's cleared, I'm still really

hard on myself and don't ever think I look good enough and I have almost no

self-confidence.

The culture we live in will inevitably make you feel crappy about yourself at some

point. It just throws lots of ads at you with "perfect" people and how easy it is to

look just like them. Annoying, but you live with it. You can overcome it I think. :D

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well first off, i just wanted to say that you look really pretty in your avatar.

and second, i totally agree with every word of your post. i absolutely HATE when i hear the words 'acne' or 'zit' or whatever. or when you're hanging out with somebody and that stupid Pro-Activ commercial comes on TV. ahh i cringe. whenever anybody says anything about it i just kinda laugh and shrug it off.

there has only been 1 person in my life who i felt totally comfortable with discussing my face problems. he didn't really care. never judged me or said anything bad. it's good to have somebody like that in your life. helps a lot when you're just having a crappy day and you can call up somebody and just vent.

but i'm pretty sure my life would be SO much better if i didn't have this crap on my face. it makes me SO self conscious. i've missed plenty of opportunities because of acne. i've missed out on meeting people because i was having an 'ugly day'. i dropped out of regular high school for a whole year and went to home schooling because my face was exploding and wouldn't. it affects me at work. i can't just ignore it.

i seriously try my hardest to just relax and breath and pray that it's just a phase and that i'll beat it.

i'm not naive, i know that when it's gone my life isn't going to be some perfect fairy tale, no, but i DO know that i will feel sooo much better about myself and can start enjoying life so much more.

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Thanks nicole. :)

Yeah, I don't watch tv much at all but I have seen those ads (or on the radio) and it is extremely awkward...

I'm enjoying reading what you all have to say... some very valid points here..

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its so easy to think that once you're in the rut of having acne. but let me tell you the minute it goes away, you will find a new problem to complain about (i mean hopefully not, but usually this is the case).. happened to me.

what i can tell you.. is the more you think to yourself if only if only.. this one little thing were gone.. the more it will have the power over you.. and the power to eat you up inside.

BUT don't let it.

tell yourself you are the best you can be RIGHT NOW.

there is no later, there is no if only. all there is , is this moment.

give yourself the credit you deserve.

remember that what makes you beautiful is your drive, your ability to move in the right direction (towards your goals) and the positivity you can share with others.

don't worry about if only.. worry about how to be the best you can right now.

because all that exists is right now.

you can do it! mind over matter!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i feel the same as all of you. i got my acne about when i was 12. and everyone tells me that i could of been beautiful. i have picures of my childhood. i hate looking like this. annd those tiny bumps and scars never go away. im scared of wearing a dress or a halter or a bikini. i dont like this. wont it ever go away?

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i feel the same as all of you. i got my acne about when i was 12. and everyone tells me that i could of been beautiful. i have picures of my childhood. i hate looking like this. annd those tiny bumps and scars never go away. im scared of wearing a dress or a halter or a bikini. i dont like this. wont it ever go away?

i KNOW! I had such beautiful skin when I was a kid and I get really, really sad whenever I look at old photos. I always wish I could go back in time, knowing what i know now, and I would have never eaten junk food or dairy and maybe I could've avoided this wholeeee thing.

I remember one time my mom was looking through old photographs of my brother and I, and she goes, "you guys used to have such NICE skin..."

wtf! like its my choice to have acne? Yeah mom, i like it because it matches my outfits and its festive. ugh, she's the one i got the acne gene from anyway :( it really hurt my feelings!

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I definitely have thought that my life would be perfect if my skin was flawless. However, after having pretty clear skin for a couple weeks or so, I began to focus on my weight. I wasn't as skinny as I had thought afterall. But my skin just completely exploded so worrying about my weight is no longer an issue until I can clear myself back up again.

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Ha, I totally feel you five. I hate when people are like "you should do something about your skin". Like really? What would you recommend? It seems as if dunking your head in the toilet has worked quite well for you thus far.

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yep, i clearly see what everyone means. and the worst part, MY MOM NEVER HAD ACNE IN HER LIFE. i see tons of pictures of her as a kid with a flawless face. it sucks whenever she says something about my face.

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haha yeah of course, we're normal people who just happen to have acne, its not like we were chosen to live life this way, it just happens.. chances are, some of us would've even thought that people with acne were hideous if we never would've experienced acne ourselves.

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I completely understand where you are coming from.

Coping mechanisms? Not sure, I just try tell myself everyday that I am so much more than my skin.

I'm not going to lie, it's hard, but I don't want to keep telling myself "what if". I'm doing something about it. I keep trying. I guess that's what keeps me going.

Hope this sort of answers your 'coping' question. :unsure:

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yeah i agree, whenever my acne is bad, i have so self confidence and feel like my pimples are the first thing people are going to notice about me. i become quiet and turn my head down alot because i dont want people looking at my face. ive stayed home many times because i didnt want to leave my house the way my face is sometimes, and it sucks because its not fair that i miss out on things because of acne. i guess it does all have to do with confidence, but i have always been a shy person and my acne just makes me even more so.

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why cry over spilled milk??? plus it's not the determining factor.. you still CAN BE

be the change ! YEAH OBAMA

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people who dont have acne think I'm shallow when I say my life would be PERFECT if i were acne free. Saying "why do you care so much about your looks, its not that important"

But when you suffer acne you know how confidence crushing it is when you wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror thinking how ugly you are.

Its even worse when people tell you how youd be so pretty but "the acne"-_- im not being up myself but i think if i didnt have acne i would have a much better self esteem and i would think i was decent looking. But the acne is just disgusting. I dont really have AS MUCH pimples as i used to.. but now im left with Hyperpigmentation literally like ALL OVER my forehead and temples. Like EVERYWHERE. :(

if i didnt have acne/scars i would be loving life as a confident care-free stressless person.

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Saying you could have been beautiful is preposterous for the opportunity is never absent. Beauty doesnt lie in flawless skin or bone structure, washboard abs or a slim waistline. Beauty burst forth from your being, your fire to live, who you choose to be INSPITE of what others says, what the mirror shows. I've spent a great deal of time on this website (for better or for worse) and everyday i see all these beautiful people shackling themselves to other peoples opinions other people judgements. It pains me to see such beautiful people caged, but the keys to those cages are in your own hands, in your own hearts...

what you said is very beautiful and inspiring but

i used to always totally agree with what you said.

but now that i suffer from moderatley severe acne i cant help but not feel the same way.

acne has crushed my confidence. how can i feel beautiful when i have disgusting spots all over my face and i can feel everyone that i talk to staring straight at them. :(

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people who dont have acne think I'm shallow when I say my life would be PERFECT if i were acne free. Saying "why do you care so much about your looks, its not that important"

But when you suffer acne you know how confidence crushing it is when you wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror thinking how ugly you are.

Its even worse when people tell you how youd be so pretty but "the acne"-_- im not being up myself but i think if i didnt have acne i would have a much better self esteem and i would think i was decent looking. But the acne is just disgusting. I dont really have AS MUCH pimples as i used to.. but now im left with Hyperpigmentation literally like ALL OVER my forehead and temples. Like EVERYWHERE. :(

if i didnt have acne/scars i would be loving life as a confident care-free stressless person.

Acne consumes your life, that is why you feel like life would be perfect without acne. Those people are being truthful. Looks do matter to an extent, but looks do not define a person. You will meet some people who realize that.

Don't be so down on yourself. What is the reason you want to be free of acne? Do you wish to fit in with the others who seem to have clear skin? If so, then you're going to have to forget about what everyone else thinks. That is very difficult to achieve, but it is possible. The only way to live life is to be free of the expectations of others. How would you describe yourself in a few words? It's time to begin a search for the real you. What are we without an understanding of our true character?

I'm relieved to know that you're acne is doing better. Those hyper-pigmentation marks will go away with time. I can't guarantee an exact date, but I can tell you in confidence that the marks will fade. Mine have, and are still in the process of fading after two years. I have something I would like to share with you. When my acne began to clear up, I felt pretty damn good. But you know what? I was still worried about some of my scars. I questioned my appearance. I convinced myself I was overweight when I was not. I started to pick out these flaws on my body, and I became consumed with looking perfect. Acne allowed me to realize that I had a problem underneath the surface. Clear skin would not take it away. I'm only sharing this story to show that I too have been in your position, and I was tremendously discouraged to know that fulfilling my dream of clear skin did nothing to solve the underlying problems inside of me.

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people who dont have acne think I'm shallow when I say my life would be PERFECT if i were acne free. Saying "why do you care so much about your looks, its not that important"

But when you suffer acne you know how confidence crushing it is when you wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror thinking how ugly you are.

Its even worse when people tell you how youd be so pretty but "the acne"-_- im not being up myself but i think if i didnt have acne i would have a much better self esteem and i would think i was decent looking. But the acne is just disgusting. I dont really have AS MUCH pimples as i used to.. but now im left with Hyperpigmentation literally like ALL OVER my forehead and temples. Like EVERYWHERE. :(

if i didnt have acne/scars i would be loving life as a confident care-free stressless person.

Acne consumes your life, that is why you feel like life would be perfect without acne. Those people are being truthful. Looks do matter to an extent, but looks do not define a person. You will meet some people who realize that.

Don't be so down on yourself. What is the reason you want to be free of acne? Do you wish to fit in with the others who seem to have clear skin? If so, then you're going to have to forget about what everyone else thinks. That is very difficult to achieve, but it is possible. The only way to live life is to be free of the expectations of others. How would you describe yourself in a few words? It's time to begin a search for the real you. What are we without an understanding of our true character?

I'm relieved to know that you're acne is doing better. Those hyper-pigmentation marks will go away with time. I can't guarantee an exact date, but I can tell you in confidence that the marks will fade. Mine have, and are still in the process of fading after two years. I have something I would like to share with you. When my acne began to clear up, I felt pretty damn good. But you know what? I was still worried about some of my scars. I questioned my appearance. I convinced myself I was overweight when I was not. I started to pick out these flaws on my body, and I became consumed with looking perfect. Acne allowed me to realize that I had a problem underneath the surface. Clear skin would not take it away. I'm only sharing this story to show that I too have been in your position, and I was tremendously discouraged to know that fulfilling my dream of clear skin did nothing to solve the underlying problems inside of me.

woah dang! that really made me think! thanks :D

and yeah i understand and i believe in what youre saying but its so hard to stop thinking those negative things.

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This is pretty spot on. I used to think that once my acne disappeared, I'd finally be pretty. Well, last month my face cleared up and I feel just as unsightly as I did before. Now I obsess over the fact that I wasn't blessed with good facial features or skin. I've tried being positive and I know people treat me better for it, but I still can't help but feel that there's nothing I can do to forget the ugly person I am inside.

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We're all beautiful on the inside, whether or not you're beautiful on the outside.

Everyone's special. We all have our own lives and we're each dealt our own share of problems - some that others just can't know until they experience themselves.

Don't let the acne stop you from being you.

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