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kerrypow

Here we go again. 26/ 30mg!/ 6months treatment

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So I just discovered this whole blog thing and figured I would start writing my own. I need a bit of support already and figure you guys understand where no one else can!!!

Im 6days in, I will post some pics up when I can. I will take them tonight to keep it up to date! going on... I have some pics from before my meds started. I have polycystic ovaries so this is just one of my battles. The rest aren't visible, the pain and possible infertility, the mood swings, dizzyness and tiredness... I suppose one of those will matter when I am wanting to start a family, the rest I can deal with. This I CANT.

This is my second time around on accutane. The first was 4/5 years ago. It worked pretty well that time, it was for 4 months over winter so I had nothing to complain about... January it started so no drugs over xmas and new year. Unlike this time!!!

Its my birthday in a week and Im 6 days in... thats no drinking no partying etc etc. Not that right now I want to be seen in public. My skin has broken out which is a pain but I know its going to get better... I just hope this time its for good.

Im through with the side effects too. When I have an appetite its not a very big one (great for the bikini body I wont get to use!!!) and I get really upset stomach (gross sorry!) I got pink walking home from work the other night (god help me in high summer!). My lips are just flaking and splitting all over the place despite already being the proud owner of at least 6 strategically placed lip balms, the lounge, the kitchen, my bag, work, my bed room, my other bag etc etc... My concentration is going to pieces and my eyes are going funny!! My skin on my body hurts from being so dry ( I have, it would appear bought shares in palmers coca butter!!!). I ache. Im so tired!!! And today whilst pressing one of my pills out of the packet my nail came away from my finger... that really hurts so Im a bit of an invalid at the moment. YOUCH! I guess my skin is way more fragile then I was expecting to be this early on.

That's 6 days in... The tears have started already!!! I know its going to do me good (well my face at least) but Im not sure I can face 6 months of this torture... it brought back all the junk I had blocked out from last time I went through this and that wasn't at the height of summer... I didn't have to face my birthday, xmas and new year not being able to have a cheeky vino or two with friends. No sunbathing or even hanging out on the beach. I live by the ocean, I surf (god help me if I try and do that when its sunny!!) Im a summer person...

The worst thing is, Im not even enthused.

I did everything I could to try and stop me from going on this, I tried my hardest to get them to give me laser treatment but this is my only option apparently... They will consider funding laser treatment once I come off the treatment and my skin is clear if I need it for the scars... Am I wrong in thinking that the line 'the drug is out of your system in 5weeks" when I questioned how long I would have to wait for that if I needed it. Kind of goes against the "you cant have your bits waxed for at least a year cos your skin is so fragile you may scar"??? I think I got fobbed off!

I kind of don't trust it is going to work because it didn't last time. Im terrified if it doesn't because what then? What options will I have left?

I can't start my life because of the way I look. I want to have my life. Not even my life back but just the life I should have been having... my twenties are over half way done, my teens are long gone... some of the best years of my life suffering this and I just want to be able to look in the mirror and feel pretty. I want to feel confident and beautiful and not hide my face behind makeup or my hand or what ever else is in it. I want to stare the cute guy eyeing me up back instead of hanging my head while he looks at someone else.

I kind of feel like I need to get enthused and I need to believe because thats half the battle. Mind over matter and if I don't believe is it going to work??? Am I creating the negative energy that means in 12 months time when Im back to square one its because I didn't think the right thoughts?

Anyway Im gibbering. So my skin at the moment is pretty bad. My forehead is mainly black heads and blocked pores with a couple of white heads. My cheeks and chin are where most of the action is at!!! I have an awful lot of red scars on my cheeks and beside my eyes... And a lovely big spot just by my top lip which really hurts!!!

Im going to try and do this every day but I may well forget but I will try and do it at least twice a week... looking forward to hearing from you all and meeting some people who can understand!!!

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hey kerry glad to know you started your course! Hopefully things will get good soon! Side effects can be bad, for me apart from the dryness/itchyness im okay. I did have terrible headaches in the first week which completely went. At the moment im kinda hvaing my IB so im just shielding all my emotions, just letting these shitty times pass by but hopefully one day things well take a turn. Anyway I will be visiting your log, keep us updated and goodluck!

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Hey, thanks!!!

Having a really bad day today. My chin is just covered! My face is itchy and flaky and covered in spots all at the same time... Fortunately Im the boss at work so I didnt have to face the public for most of today. I work in retail so its kinda a bit hard to hide... except when you have paper work!!

Just tried to ignore is and get on with my day... A couple of friends came in seperately to see me and noticed my skin was pretty damn bad! Oh well. I guess Im kind of lucky as I only have a on my forehead and temples. Its my chin and cheeks that are getting the brunt of it. Could be worse I suppose!!!

The finger is still causing me agony and I have also developed a nasty habit of picking at my face while I sleep. OH DEAR... taking so long to heal is not a good thing when waking up looking like Freddy Cruger...

Tomorrow is a bigger challenge, got to do promo work (going out and stamping people for free entry!) for my friends bar on the evening and some of the men aren't exactly nice about my skin. Its awful to go through but with it in this state I just want a paper bag or to hide under my duvet for the next 6months... Last time I had some drunken guy yelling "do you want me to do some reiki on the spot for you". Whilst Im all for a bit of healing and spiritualism, not on a friday night in a street full of people who were probably not close enough to see I have grown a second person on my chin (the biggest of a few) but who now know ALL about it. Cheers mate, think I will pass!

ITS SO DAMN ITCHY too! Ok better get my beauty sleep (HAH!) maybe invest in some mittens like they give to babies too!!!!

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So today was a bit better than yesterday... my chin is not so bad but still itchy as hell... spots a bit less but now my forehead seems to be getting a bit lumpy...

Trying to drink a lot more water in the hope this will make it flush out quicker...

My lip balm addiction is pretty bad as my lips are literally coming off in sheets! GRIM GRIM GRIM!

It didn't however stop me from getting the number of the cutest guy EVER. He surely must be blind... my skin is probably THE worst it has been in like I don't know how long ... It has boosted my confidence no end though so I am feeling more positive then I have been in a long time... It was dark though!!! God help me if he comes into my work in the day light!

Now if I can only get it to STOP ITCHING!!!

Oh and I was very naughty and had a drink, or 4... oh dear sure I will pay for that one... better knock that on the head BAD KERRY. My poor liver. Silly girl. Its just force of habit. Conscience is now making sure I take a beating...

Anyway, better get to sleep. Its 3am and have to be up shortly!

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So today was a bit better than yesterday... my chin is not so bad but still itchy as hell... spots a bit less but now my forehead seems to be getting a bit lumpy...

Trying to drink a lot more water in the hope this will make it flush out quicker...

My lip balm addiction is pretty bad as my lips are literally coming off in sheets! GRIM GRIM GRIM!

It didn't however stop me from getting the number of the cutest guy EVER. He surely must be blind... my skin is probably THE worst it has been in like I don't know how long ... It has boosted my confidence no end though so I am feeling more positive then I have been in a long time... It was dark though!!! God help me if he comes into my work in the day light!

Now if I can only get it to STOP ITCHING!!!

Oh and I was very naughty and had a drink, or 4... oh dear sure I will pay for that one... better knock that on the head BAD KERRY. My poor liver. Silly girl. Its just force of habit. Conscience is now making sure I take a beating...

Anyway, better get to sleep. Its 3am and have to be up shortly!

Hey kerry, my skin is really itchy aswell, sometimes I think its actually got nothing to do with the acne and its just because our skin is becoming more sensitive so I think the best bet would be to try and ignore it. I know its hard but I guess its better than potentially slowing the healing process/leaving marks.

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Hi Kerry!

I just wanted to wish you luck and tell u that I too have PCOS - ur not alone! Dont worry about infertility issues etc...many people with PCOS have kids and live a perfectly happy life..one thing at a time (thats what I tell myself!)

Anyways, Im on Spiro because my endocrinologist put me on it because of the acne, some hair thinning etc..but I also started a 30mg accutane course just 3 days ago since my acne is really bothering me and when I tired accutane before, it completely cleared my skin. Although Im risking further hair thinning, I cant live in the skin Im currently in

Im sure things will work out well for you this time! Hopefully this can be our second and last course!

Keep us posted and I will do the same!

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Hey so sorry guys.

Iv been away for 2 weeks, had my birthday and been travelling about a lot seeing friends I havent seen for years.

As you can imagine its been pretty stressful time for me as its always nice to look your best when you see people and family members you haven't seen for a long time. Unfortunately my skin is at its worst it has been for many years. Coupled with all my IB (thanks for the definition!!!) and the fact my skin and lips are just shedding like crazy its been a bit bad for me. Didn't do my confidence any favours when a close friend commented she'd never seen it so bad and wondered if I was allergic to my medication...urrrgh!

I think I might ask my dermatologist to up the dose to the higher one. These symptoms are just as bad as I remember from the first time around, my skin is taking a lot longer to clear though so I kind of dont see the point of being on a lower dose for a longer time when I am suffering it anyway.

One thing I have noticed is that my body is just aching and aching, feel like Iv been through a car crash, that and Iv put on a bit of weight which sucks, I know its from the tablets as nothing else has changed!

Got a bit of bacne and some spots on my chest so just desperate for things to clear up and start looking up...I can cope with the side effects once I get to start seeing reulsts cos at the moment a month in it really doesnt seem to be doing anything... other than making me look like a leper due to my skin falling off!!!

Been trying to take some supplements when I remember so milk thistle and selenium (just incase its this depleting that causes the depression people experience).

My skin is getting very sensitive, especially -bizarely the tops of my thighs just above my knees, I remember this from last time too used to drive me crazy so trying to keep on top of the moisturiser. My eyes are driving me crazy too, my distance vision has gotten a lot worse, and contacts are getting sticky :o( ant face wearing my glasses for summer though.

Oh well we will see how it goes, the hospital bumped my appointment so got to fight to get one next week or I will be out of meds..eeek!

Right thats me for now, will be in touch tomorrow!

x

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Hey Kerry happy belated birthday! I'm sorry to hear things are sucky for you at this moment! The chapped lips really do suck and apart from chapstick there is little that can be done. My friend also commented on my lips, he goes "man your lips are like butchered". My arms have dry rashes all over as well and they dont look to good! What can we do huh?

I am also very tired and I think sleep helps my body feel less achy. Who knows maybe you're not sleeping much?

I also started takig supplements as of today, vitamin c and zinc to aid in the redness! I also have some b complex which I may start on later which has biotin!

Things will get good and you will start to clear good soon! Keep positive!

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