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Lakerfan11

Question strictly for the Guys here...

Sup, I got a question for all the males here

Do you guys ever feel that we act like a bunch of pussies somtimes because of our acne? Do you think we put too much time thinking about something that is not of too much importance? (important thing being work, school, careers, family, working out, etc)

I had a talk with my uncle a few days ago. I love my uncle he has been there done that in the past, yet does not act like old man. We talk about so many diferent things and I basically let it all out an told about my life. about acne, and just always being depressed about life in general.

He understood my position of what and How im feeling but he also expressed that that its kind of laughable that it affects my life to this degree.

So do you guys think we are are not being Man enough? Do you think we are overly weak, laughable Men.

To be honest I think have bitched way too much because because of my skin. I really dont think we should this emotional about this. I mean dont get me wrong, I dont want us to become stone faced lacking emotion and all but should we let it bother us Men?

Express your true opinion.

Btw if your going to say that my uncle does not know what if feels like to have acne... Well thats not going to work here unfortunately my uncles skin condition is probably worse than anyones here.

My uncle had chicken pox and back in the day there was no real treatmen to it... And he has very severe scarring from it ever since he was a teen. and im taking about countless meduim craters on his face. Not the boring small toothpic sized pits that we have. It did bother him... BUT not one day did it affect his ability to excel beyond imagination in school,work, and women. (He has a beautiful wife and married for 22 years) I love my uncle He is a Mans Man. and I look up him, to some extent he is my idle. He is rich, successful man and will never use surgery or enhancements to smooth out his skin. never has will. he doesnt believe in it.

I expected my uncle to laugh at me and jeer for even talking to him about this but he talked to me about it in a very polite manner. Especiall with what he went thru, my case is a joke compared to his. Yet I dont know anyone that is happier then he is.

I know we are all different and handle struggles differently in our lives. but personally I think we should have alot more confidence in our selves as men and pursue our dreams without looking in the mirror so much.

Lakerfan

Please your thoughts.

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Guest

Yes, I think...no...KNOW I have let acne control too much of the past 5 years of my life. I know there are probably lots things I could have been doing and lots of new people I could have met but I haven't because my self-consciousness is holding me back (not my acne). But I've discussed this in posts before about how I'm mad and don't want to have to lower my standards for things. I don't wanna have something in my life I'm not in control of. It's my stubborn refusal that prohibits me from working around my superficial acne problem and dealing with my self-conscious problem. Basically, I want the acne to go away, I don't want it to be a factor in my life, at all.

I think one of the main reasons for this...and it's kind of vain, very vain in fact. My mom has East Indian descent, my dad had those hippy good looks when he was in his teens, 20's and 30's. He could still have it now in his 40's, but like a lot of older men and women, weight has caught up with him (lol I still love him though)

Anyways, my point from above is that the traits my parents have were passed down to me and in my opinion, came together beautifully. I have dark dark dark black hair, fair skin, large brown eyes and I would say an "intelligent without being hunky guy look". Even when my acne's mild, I always turn in heads in school, yet I've never had a girlfriend. I guess I could have, but whenever those heads turn I'm always thinking "damn, first they'll see me, then the acne" or something twisted self conscious bs thought like that. I just want it to be uncomplicated you know? If it ever came to that point, with clear skin, I think I would just move to LA and walk around with my shirt off waiting for a movie deal.

I'm sorry if that sounds terribly vain, but if acne has taught me one thing it's humility and humbleness (and not to judge others.) So, even during the summer's when my skin is clear, I never morph into a jackass who belittles others and puts them down for the way they look. I am always supportive and try to make people feel better (not by saying "your skin looks fine", I find that only makes ppl feel worse. Just being their friend will do.) But goddam, I would just like to be clear once so I could go sit down in a public place and LET chicks stare at me, haha. Then I would talk to them and try to make up for all the reclusiveness I've been living the past 5 years...

God, I hope you guys don't hate me now. But I know what I am, I know my strengths and my drawbacks.

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You know if I had family and an uncle that understood and really supported me, I would probably would not have been as affected by it as much.

You're right it's not the end of the world. But for me I could never get a straight answer, I didn't know what I was doing to cause this to happen, and I didn't know what to do to stop it.

It's like being punished for no reason. I strongly believe that if I had the support from family and friends, plus from doctors who had cared instead of dismissing it then maybe I wouldn't of allowed it to get to me.

I was ashamed, I was always hearing different reasons for why it was happening. I felt like I was being lied to not because it was intentional but because no one really knew. And it felt no one really cared enough to find out the truth.

They assumed things, and not being able to address this problem and trying to fix it drove me crazy. It was like some cosmic joke being played on me. Going through school as a teeneager was very rough.

Ultimately it was the way other treated me becuase of it that made the difference. Seeing everyone else free from acne and I was the only one experiencing it made me feel like I was being singled out for some reason. While others to go out and be free, I was being "marked" by this condition.

So, self-confidence is based on your self image and appearance. We are all here trying to find a way to get it under control and be free from it.

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Image is important in securing a job, attracting a mate and for self confidence.

with that image tarnished with acne its only natural to feel depressed.

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I do feel like somebody has chopped my balls off sometimes when I take a step back and realize all the BS I'm putting myself through just because of a few pimples and discoloration. How pathetic is this: I look in magazines and see the obviously touched up and made up skin of women in ads that looks like porcelean and I get SO JEALOUS. It ruins my day sometimes. Or in a movie, if I see someone with just flawless skin it just kills me. I just want my skin to be GOOD..not neccesarily perfect but good enough for it to be considered an attractive feature of me.

I hate my skin now because it messes up my looks. All through elementary and middle school I was pretty much a stud, lol. you would not believe how many girls said I was their first crush back in the day. and that used to give me SO much confidence, damn I thought I was like the king of the world or something. but I was NEVER conceited and I NEVER bragged about anything. I just always walked around like I was on cloud 9 or something....life was just so great.

but then once my acne started (9th grade) my self confidence went down so much and I just hid from the world pretty much. got really into computers and hid away for 2 years. I'm slowly coming back out of my shell and realizing that skin doesn't matter that much, and that I'm still good looking, and that I CAN get hot chicks and that I am just as good as everyone else, etc.

i think one of the reason's my self confidence went down so much was because in middle school tons of ppl already had acne. but my skin was still perfect back then. and people used to comment on it all the time, like "wow man u never get pimples" and I was just like yeahhhhh....lol I just assumed I would never get acne, just like my bro and mom and dad. but nope, I got it sad.gif and looks run in my family. my bro is pretty good looking and he has perfect skin so when I started breaking out I just felt so inferior. and it sucks so bad to go from some girls saying you are the best looking guy in the school (one girl even used to SWEAR that I wore makeup lol) to being practically ignored. I think most of it is my fault of course because I probably acted like an idiot for the past 2 years with such low confidence but still....it really really hurts sometimes.

i just look forward to the day that I am perfectly clear with a nice glowing tan and can walk around with so much confidence and happiness like I did in the good ol days heh. ahhhh just thinking about it always makes for a very good daydream for when I am bored in class biggrin.gif

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Guest Brandon

I know that a little bit of acne has caused a lot of self esteem issues and depression with me. I don't like to go out because of it, and that's messing up my life. So I guess I could say that I am overreacting by changing my life because of a skin condition.

But remember that it's only natural to get depressed over self esteem issues, whether it stems from acne, obesity or whatever else. So you are only being human. Don't deny your emotions though.

Sometimes I get angry at life for having this. Like what have I done that's so deserving of this shit? I am nice to everyone!

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you can't look at acne just as a couple of red spots...it isnt like that...it's like saying that CANCER is a organ got a little bigger...it isnt like that, its what it does to your body, and most important, to your mind.

i dont mind getting a whole bunch of scratches and shit all over my body, but acne is much worse...so much worse!!! thats why people without acne will never understand how its like, they wont know how we feel and what does it do to us, although i promissed myself (and god lol) not wishing acne for anyone, i wish acne for all, just for them to know how the fuck we feel sad.gif

I'm so sure that when i'm clear i'll start living my life again and i'll think of these days only as a bad dream, nighmare if you wish, and will eventually forget i ever went thorough all this shit (hopfully scars free).

I sooo look up for the day i'll get clear and start paying back the bitches that made me self-consciousness...shit is going to be sooo sweet...

let us all pray for better days [-o<

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Of course it's not being a pussy! You know, a very attractive quality in males (or so I've been told) is the ability to be sensitive and not act like "nuffing scares me, I'm hard and don't take crap from no-one." Trust me, being upset about your acne and it having a bad effect on you will make you a better person overrall. If you need to cry about it, cry about it. It's a lot better than the bottling it up and pretending it doesn't affect you attitude.

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i dont understand how acne is worth crying about. i look kinda bad sometimes but i still get up and get on w/ my life and go to school and talk to people and enjoy life. because there are other things in life other than getting stares from girls. having clear skin isnt that much of a big deal, some people have it but have other problems much worse than that. seriously be a real man. its like a woman crying about her cellulite or wrinkles.

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im just saying men shouldnt worry SO much about the acne, i mean treat it with all the stuff u want to get rid of it. but i dont get guys who stare at the mirror and think about suicide because of this.

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Hi guys, I'm a gay guy in my 30s in the UK. I only got acne 18 months ago & It has devastated my life, I've goner from a social butterfly to a recluse practically. I had a violent relationship with my ex boyf & I think the trama set up my acne which I have hated so much sad.gifsad.gif Now I am frightened of dating again as I think guys will look at my acne on my face which at times is quite severe (some cysts...) Cause I didn't have acne as a youngun having it at 34 has killed my life. I am at aloss & none of my friends or people I meet get whats wrong with me.

It maybe vain but I have no confidence now & am lonely without a boyf but I don't think anyone will like me again.

The thing I find totally frustrating is that the scene is wholly image conscious so I am a nothing. I guess you can realate to what I am saying though with girls not guys, Thanks nick :-k #-o

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Nickyj, welcome to the group, dude! My name's Zul and I'm an 18 year old bisexual dude. Ha! I understand how you feel ...

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hi thanks & hi there. Yes I have found the gay scene very shallow when it comes to your appearance! I'm told I'm fairly good looking guy but my acne just knocks me for six! I am very self conscious in public & would have no confidence in finding another partner or boyfriend. This acne just sucks & I'm really worried that I'm gonna keep it for ages & ages. Can you give me some ideas? thanks a lot, my names Nick or Nicky to my friends smile.gif I live in the UK near London. I used to be really quite a wild guy partying etc, but I feel trapped in this acne hell, & can't escape?!

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Thanks for everyones opinion. I would respond to each one of you but I am sleep deprived and caffiene drugged cramming for exams and bsing some papers. ](*,) Life is great sad.gif

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