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MellowFellow

27 years old never had a girlfriend

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nothing but loneliness pain,acne scars and more pain. I don't see my life changing 10 years from now.Anybody else in the same boat?I'm thinking of jumping off the boat someday if you know what i mean.Life's not worth living when you have nobody to share it with.just my opinion.

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Why is it that you've never had a girlfriend...specifically? Is it just your skin? Or something else?

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I'm kinda in the same boat as you buddy. I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend either. It's too the point now, that I've been alone so long, I don't even know how to go about getting a girlfriend....it's a lonely dismal existence huh? Acne, and alot of other things have added up to me having zero confidence i myself, and I think that's probably the biggest thing that women look for....the biggest trouble is, there is a girl in my life that I really like, I mean REALLY. If I could hypothetically "custom order" a woman, it would be her. She has no idea how I feel, and I can't tell her. It's not even so much that I think she wouldn't date me, it's more that I don't feel that I'm worthy to be with her.....I know that if I don't do anything, that some day she'll find someone and probably marry them. That thought literally makes me sick in the stomach.....but as far as "offing yourself" can't say that thought never crossed my mind, but you can't, it shouldn't even be an option. No matter how bad off you are, there's always someone who's worse off. I think that ultimately, our negative experiences will make us better people, and if we ever do find women that love us, we will appreciate it that much more. One thing I can honestly say is, if I ever do get the chance to be with the girl that I'm talking about, I'll be able to love her with a passion and intensity that I would have never even understood had I not been through what I have.

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27??? your as old as you feel!!! (btw 27 is not old) Life not all about relationships. Everyone needs to be comfortable being themselves and being indpendent before getting into a relationship. Im 26 and I have never had a real relationship either. I was always looking for a the real thing for most of my life. Now I just enjoy spending time with my fam and friends.

Once I started to understand I dont have to have a boyfriend I became more attractive to others and of course gave me self confidence and its so much fun being single!!

Personally, I feel that there is time and place for everything and I have any doubt in my mind that God has a great man out there for me (handsome doctor preferably...jk) I just havent completed all the things I need to do before I meet him. and besides Im having so much fun chillin w/ fam friends, traveling, and who knows if I'll meet someone along the way!

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Why is it that you've never had a girlfriend...specifically? Is it just your skin? Or something else?

Well Tasha I think it's a combination of a couple of things.I'm shy,I'm mentally deteriorating and I have scars on my face that have caused most people to shun me. First off, I was always shy even before i got scars. I was a good looking guy for the most part in high school and I know there were girls that were definately interested in me but was too quiet and too shy and those personality traits made it so that nothing ever came of it.I did have periods of acne breakouts that really compounded the problem but the acne and the marks were only periodic.

After high school my acne started to get worse,bigger painful and they left severe scars on my face.Absolutely crused me.I was shy and depressed before you can only imagine what scars did to the situation.Talk about adding fuel to the fire!!!!This has caused me to do everything i can to avoid people.Alot of it was because of some of the comments people made towards me and how i felt about myself. Needless to say,8 years after getting these scars I am more mentally and emotionally worse off than I was at that moment.Alot of it has to do with the fact that I missed out on what is supposed to be the best part of your life and and the fact that there is no redemption for me. Nothing would ever change.My life 8 years from now will be the same lonely,pathetic,sad,disgusting life as it was before.Most of my peers are getting married and having kids and enjoying their next phase of adult life while i never had one to begin with.And I know darn well when i get older and look back again,the pain will only get worse.I think i've accomplished as much as I could.I graduated from college.I'm making money trading stocks and a few other things but it means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.Why?Because I have nobody to share it with.I honestly believe,everybody has to learn a lesson in life.I've learned mine.Matirial items and money is meaningless.It doesn't make you happy.It's sharing life's experience with a companion and sharing the joys of raising a household that make life worth it.

I've done some reading,and i've read about guys that go their whole lives without having a woman in their life. I don't want to go the rest of my life like that but I know damn well that is what is in store for me because no woman would ever love me with my psychological problems and acne scars. People say,suicide is never an option.I say,what's the alternative?PAIN,ISOLATION,SADNESS? I think I'm doing myself a favor by saying No Thank You!

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I'm kinda in the same boat as you buddy. I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend either. It's too the point now, that I've been alone so long, I don't even know how to go about getting a girlfriend....it's a lonely dismal existence huh? Acne, and alot of other things have added up to me having zero confidence i myself, and I think that's probably the biggest thing that women look for....the biggest trouble is, there is a girl in my life that I really like, I mean REALLY. If I could hypothetically "custom order" a woman, it would be her. She has no idea how I feel, and I can't tell her. It's not even so much that I think she wouldn't date me, it's more that I don't feel that I'm worthy to be with her.....I know that if I don't do anything, that some day she'll find someone and probably marry them. That thought literally makes me sick in the stomach.....but as far as "offing yourself" can't say that thought never crossed my mind, but you can't, it shouldn't even be an option. No matter how bad off you are, there's always someone who's worse off. I think that ultimately, our negative experiences will make us better people, and if we ever do find women that love us, we will appreciate it that much more. One thing I can honestly say is, if I ever do get the chance to be with the girl that I'm talking about, I'll be able to love her with a passion and intensity that I would have never even understood had I not been through what I have.

I said the same thing when I was your age.I'll hold on and maybe things will get better.Maybe there will be a woman that will see through my problems.NOPE. 7 years later,same old same old. I'm just tired dude. Ya know? The depression and the fear and the anxiety.It's really taken it's toll.

If you have acne and no pitted scars like I have,I hope it clears up and you can take control of your life. Anybody who doesn't have severe scars like I have should consider themselves extremely lucky.Always remember that. I only wish i was in your situation bro.I can never redeem myself.

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27??? your as old as you feel!!! (btw 27 is not old) Life not all about relationships. Everyone needs to be comfortable being themselves and being indpendent before getting into a relationship. Im 26 and I have never had a real relationship either. I was always looking for a the real thing for most of my life. Now I just enjoy spending time with my fam and friends.

Once I started to understand I dont have to have a boyfriend I became more attractive to others and of course gave me self confidence and its so much fun being single!!

Personally, I feel that there is time and place for everything and I have any doubt in my mind that God has a great man out there for me (handsome doctor preferably...jk) I just havent completed all the things I need to do before I meet him. and besides Im having so much fun chillin w/ fam friends, traveling, and who knows if I'll meet someone along the way!

I wish I had the same mindset as you.You're very fortunate to have a supporting cast around you. My family is basically fractured.Been that way a long time. I don't have one single friend either.been that way for a long time too.Fact that i don't have one single friend in this world should tell you just how much of an oddball i am. Why can't everybody just be afforded happiness? We don't have to look the same or look like movie stars but why do some people live happy lives and others like me live pointless,meaningless lives? This world makes no sense to me.

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Did you ever read Into the Wild? It's a true story about a guy named Christopher Mccandless, who leaves his family and his whole life behind to live as a modern day tramp. Well....eventually he makes it to Alaska, and live's in the wilderness. It ends up that he accidentally ate a poisonous plant, and finds out that it will slowly kill him in a few weeks. At this point faced with inevitable death, he makes some of his biggest self realizations. The ultimate truth that he discovered was that, even though he had achieved his dream of living in the wilderness of Alaska, he was lonely. "Happiness is only true, if it's shared" The idea that you have to get your head around, is that, there are women that feel exactly like you do. All you have to do is cross paths with one of them. Chin up buddy

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I'm 19, never had a boyfriend.

Mellow: Suicide is the most selfish act a person can commit. If you truly don't think yourself worthy to live than stop living for yourself. Live for others. Do you realize how many lives you could touch? You said that you have the money and material possessions. Well, there are people who lack both to such an extent, they're dying. Seriously. This life is a gift. Don't throw it away. Think of all the lives you could change for the better if you put in the time and effort. And you just might find that in giving others life, you'll get back yours, too.

I don't believe you have to be lonely the rest of your life. That's a choice you're making. There are plenty of women out there who just want someone to love, laugh with, cry with, and experience life with. Looks don't mean anything in the long run. Don't let our image-obsessed society tell you otherwise.

Shotgun: Fricken go for it. You have nothing to lose. If you don't go after your dream girl, you'll never get her. If you go after her and she rejects you, at least you won't lie in bed 10 years from now wishing you would have done something. Or, if you go after her, you might catch her. Hearing the way you talk about her, it's obvious you deeply love her. That kind of love is so precious, something every woman dreams of. She would be an absolute FOOL to reject that kind of love.

Just putting in my two cents. It truly pains me to see other people in a pain so deep themselves, they would cease to live (contemplating suicide and not going after their dreams).

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Did you ever read Into the Wild? It's a true story about a guy named Christopher Mccandless, who leaves his family and his whole life behind to live as a modern day tramp. Well....eventually he makes it to Alaska, and live's in the wilderness. It ends up that he accidentally ate a poisonous plant, and finds out that it will slowly kill him in a few weeks. At this point faced with inevitable death, he makes some of his biggest self realizations. The ultimate truth that he discovered was that, even though he had achieved his dream of living in the wilderness of Alaska, he was lonely. "Happiness is only true, if it's shared" The idea that you have to get your head around, is that, there are women that feel exactly like you do. All you have to do is cross paths with one of them. Chin up buddy

You know I like a good book.I'll have to check that out. I'm always on the look out for a good read.

And yes, there are women out there who are looking to share happiness.But do they want to share it with a shy,mentally corrupt,acne scar riddled gent like myself?Did I mention i'm a very boring and bland individual.I'm devoid of any personality.I think alot of it has to do with my upbringing and my exposure to acne and it's after effects but i know how this society views the mentally ill. I appreciate your kindness man.I wish i could cross more people like you in real life.

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Did you ever read Into the Wild? It's a true story about a guy named Christopher Mccandless, who leaves his family and his whole life behind to live as a modern day tramp. Well....eventually he makes it to Alaska, and live's in the wilderness. It ends up that he accidentally ate a poisonous plant, and finds out that it will slowly kill him in a few weeks. At this point faced with inevitable death, he makes some of his biggest self realizations. The ultimate truth that he discovered was that, even though he had achieved his dream of living in the wilderness of Alaska, he was lonely. "Happiness is only true, if it's shared" The idea that you have to get your head around, is that, there are women that feel exactly like you do. All you have to do is cross paths with one of them. Chin up buddy

You know I live a good book.I'll have to check that out. I'm always on the look out for a good read.

And yes, there are women out there who are looking to share happiness.But do they want to share it with a shy,mentally corrupt,acne scar riddled gent like myself?Did I mention i'm a very boring and bland individual.I'm devoid of any personality.I think alot of it has to do with my upbringing and my exposure to acne and it's after effects but i know how this society views the mentally ill. I appreciate your kindness man.I wish i could cross more people like you in real life.

I've met great people who has described themselves as such. I'm wondering if you're just like them...the hidden ones.

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I'm 19, never had a boyfriend.

Mellow: Suicide is the most selfish act a person can commit. If you truly don't think yourself worthy to live than stop living for yourself. Live for others. Do you realize how many lives you could touch? You said that you have the money and material possessions. Well, there are people who lack both to such an extent, they're dying. Seriously. This life is a gift. Don't throw it away. Think of all the lives you could change for the better if you put in the time and effort. And you just might find that in giving others life, you'll get back yours, too.

I don't believe you have to be lonely the rest of your life. That's a choice you're making. There are plenty of women out there who just want someone to love, laugh with, cry with, and experience life with. Looks don't mean anything in the long run. Don't let our image-obsessed society tell you otherwise.

Shotgun: Fricken go for it. You have nothing to lose. If you don't go after your dream girl, you'll never get her. If you go after her and she rejects you, at least you won't lie in bed 10 years from now wishing you would have done something. Or, if you go after her, you might catch her. Hearing the way you talk about her, it's obvious you deeply love her. That kind of love is so precious, something every woman dreams of. She would be an absolute FOOL to reject that kind of love.

Just putting in my two cents. It truly pains me to see other people in a pain so deep themselves, they would cease to live (contemplating suicide and not going after their dreams).

Is it selfish?Maybe it is.Maybe it is.But the pain is so great,I don't even want to get out of bed or go outside anymore.I have to be the saddest person alive no doubt about it.I'm sure at some point when i decide i'm ready i'll leave some donations for people who really need it.

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A relationship won't fix you.

First off, who wants to be with someone who's considers himself bland? You need to change your attitude. I know that's easy to say, but seriously, try doing something different for a change and making yourself more well rounded. Go to a play, starting riding a bike, attend lectures, do something new. You'll need to put some effort into this.

Second, how about putting your money to good use by helping those in need? I'm sure there are plenty of homeless people near where you live. Start off by just giving away some of your cash, or pick one up and take him shopping. Then maybe work up to doing volunteer work. Helping others less fortunate than you is guaranteed to make you happy.

I will also mention: eat healthy. Putting good things into you can only help you mentally and physically.

Hell, give up everything you have and join the Peace Corps.

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Change your mindset. I'm 20 and haven't even kissed a girl, even though I've always hung out with the "popular kids". It used to bother me, now I don't really care any longer. It's not that important, even though I know where you're coming from. If you really want this to happen, read up on self-improvement. Some would call it cheesy and weird, but it changed my life for the better. Maybe it'll do the same to yours. The key is basically to not let negative parts of you life get to you, you should rather let it inspire and motivate you to change it/yourself.

Find a passion in life. I suggest that you start lifting weights, if you're lucky you'll get bitten by the iron bug which is the healthiest disease ever :)

And don't even think about killing yourself over the fact that you can't get girls. That's pathetic. Cowardly.

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There's a book out called "Blue Like Jazz". I think you should read it.

The following helped me deal with my acne trials.

Go to the second one from the top, pt. 2.

Listen.

I'm not trying to push anything on you. It's not like that at all. It's just that I went through a period where I was suicidal and God was the ONLY one who could help. So much so, I learned to have joy in the midst of trials.

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Did you ever read Into the Wild?

Its also been made into a movie, pretty good. Gets a little melodramatic at times though

I disagree, I never thought it was melodramatic :)

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I agree with 250208, seven_star_glory, and iPodAddict. That's all top notch advice. If you feel like you're life has no purpose, then give it some purpose. I was going through just about the same thing. Like I said before, I'm only 20, but I own a successful Heating/AC business and I make great money for someone who barely passed highschool, and never saw a day of college. It didn't take me long to find out that all the money I made, and all the "things" I bought were never going to make me happy. So, when I see someone on the street with a "will work for food" sign, I put them to work for a day. When I get an old lady with a broken furnace in the dead of winter, I fix it whether they can pay or not. I sponsor a child through children international (IMHO the most reputable child sponsorship program) I'm not trying to say I'm mother Teresa, but I can go to sleep at night knowing that the world would be a slightly worse place if I weren't around. I know that if I weren't around, that little indian kid might not know where his next meal is coming from. The only way you will ever feel personally fulfilled is if you resolve to do the right thing every time, in every situation. You only get one life, one chance. Don't waste one more day. Any woman who sees your selfless actions towards total strangers, should be able to deduce that you would be primo boyfriend material! and though I don't personally know you, I'm not convinced that you are "mentally unstable" as you say. Based on what you've told us so far, I would say you just have an extreme, aggravated case of cabin fever. If you get back into a social scene I think you will be surprised how quickly you can re-adjust

seven_star_glory, maybe i will go for it, you're right, I got nothing to lose, and I'm tired of being lonely and feeling sorry for myself

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My entire life I was always shy around the ladies, 'cause I was just a little overweight, but I thought it was the most terrible condition, and thought I would never get a girlfriend.

When I was 19, I had just started to get my terrible back acne. I was even more terrified of dating..first of all I was a virgin..I was horrified of how awful my first time having sex would be. Not only was I inexperienced sexually and would probably blow my load in 5 seconds, but having the girl see all this terrible bacne....it was all too much anxiety for me. I could have said, "fuck it, I'm not dating material. I've been cursed and not meant to ever have a sex life." Problem was I was HORNY AS FUCK!!! I knew I had to get laid. There was some primal drive in me that needed to be expressed, and it was sex.

My strategy was simple. Find a girl who was just as insecure as I was. Problem solved. I worked my part-time job with this girl who was a little on the heavy side, very pretty, but obviously insecure with her body. So were were doing it for months until we decided to start dating for realz yo. It wasn't even until were were dating for 4 months when I finally got up the confidence to show her why I refused to take my shirt off during sex. She was just like, "so what? at least nobody knows! everyone can see my tummy!" or something like that.

Anyhow we ended up falling in love yada yada fast forward 7 years and we're getting married next year.

The moral? Have some balls, find someone who can relate, and if you don't wear a rubber, always remember that you can't help dribble before you shoot. Peace out.

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The moral? Have some balls, find someone who can relate, and if you don't wear a rubber, always remember that you can't help dribble before you shoot. Peace out.

Haha, words of wisdom! if she's not on birth control, wrap that rascal! mgsanity, you are a classy gent who has a way with words

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Seriously though life is what it is and you are the one the only one who could make it - for yourself.

Live and love.

Seriously though, when i have enough money or grow older, i would help people with acne or self esteem issues. I would do counselling or something. I just want to help. I do not wish this on anyone and if there's a way of "saving" someone from what I'm going through now, what we're going through, I'm going to do it for them.

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I know its harsh pal. Where i grew up i was an outcast. Pussy wasn't on my mind, it was more like am i going to get my ass kicked today???

Somehow i ended up in 3 relationships. All i ended because of my own self-doubt and self-pity.

Anyway

Now that i am awakening to this new "paradigm" anything and everything is possible.

You want love, than start really loving yourself. Find joy in yourself. Find joy in living. Then before you know joy will manifest before your eyes.

Love life and life will love you back. Opportunities will come up, you just need the right mindset.

You make the choice. Everything is choice. Decide right now, or tomorrow when you wake up. To Start Loving yourself!!!!

Whether its abandoning junk food, or going to the gym. Do what you gotta do

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You make the choice. Everything is choice. Decide right now, or tomorrow when you wake up. To Start Loving yourself!!!!

Whether its abandoning junk food, or going to the gym. Do what you gotta do

I just want to reinforce what he said.WHEN you start loving yourself the whole world changes!

It took me a while to understand it but if you give it some thought you'll understand too.I've been through a f**d up relationship (my first) 4 years ago and believe me i wish i didn't have it.It's all about timing, just take care of yourself, it's the best thing in the whole damn world you can do.And if it gives purpose to your life, try to make your best in helping other people.

I recommend you to read this, it has helped me when i considered "jumping off the boat">> http://www.abraham-hicks.com/teachings.php

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