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Narci-cystic: An Acne Blog

MY ACNE VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQRVJaCLCwE

Well, everyone's getting one these days. I reckon it's right up there with a sports car or a supermodel girlfriend - so here is my very own...acne blog!

I've had acne for at least four years now, or at least I think so. You see, acne never came crashing into my life. It crept up behind me like a ninja to a king - by the time I could see any warning signals, it was too late. I don't remember ever experiencing one of the notorious break-outs and I can't recall noticing individual spots appearing on my once clear complexion. It's just as though it wasn't and then it was - as though I had been blind to it. As though my memory had been shattered into a thousand pieces and replaced with some sort of transparent substitute.

I suppose in many ways I was lucky too. I attended an all boys school for five years, where, partly owing to the fact that a lot of the guys looked like the lovechilds of Marylin Manson and Mr. Potato Head, vanity was unheard of. I remember acknowledging my spots as people acknowledge tramps and drifters, hanging around in back-alleys. There was a sense that I'd rather they weren't there but I wasn't bothered enough to start chasing them away. Even when I got a MySpace, I still wasn't too bothered. There was a certain beauty in greyscaling my pictures. People thought I was being all mysterious, enigmatic and artsy, when really I was hiding the big red blemishes that I was covered in.

Matters soon changed when I started a new school, however - a British sixth form, and an unfortunately reputed on at that. Everyday, I was surrounded by national rugby heroes, future Olympic athletes, straight A students, beauty models, who all had their sights on Oxford Uni, and all had perfect skin. I felt miserable, isolated and depressed. I wanted to wear make-up but I couldn't face the ridicule and idea that I might feel less confident, knowing I was hiding my true self. Worse still, my good friend was getting all the attention from the girls, who were often wound around his every, rather predictable, word - just because he had perfect, tanned skin. I don't mind if I come off as jealous here because, to be honest, I was. Ineffably.

The situation hit an all-time low when I attended a 'comedy night' with a group of friends. A bigoted twat of a stand-up comedian began to mock me because I had acne for half an hour, nearly his entire 'performance', which is a word I only use here by definition. That was almost literally soul-destroying as it was the one place where that disgraceful, callous kind of behaviour was seen as acceptable and I had to pretend to be amused by it all, when in reality I wanted to lash out and go for the guy's throat with a broken bottle - and I'm a very pacific kind of guy...!

It was at this point when I slipped into obsession and stayed on the internet for about three days straight, hardly wasting time to sleep, just researching different 'cures' and remedies for acne vulgaris. First, I chose to go on a diet, eating only natural food like fruit and vegatables but the results were minimal and when Christmas came, I decided to abandon all that for many decadent rounds of chocolate and bulimia, which was bare for benefits as well.

I saw my friend and GP, Mike, a few days later, who prescribed me daily tetracycline and adapalene gel, which was later switched with the cream alternate. However, this was not enough. I like to think of it as giving a cocaine-addict sherbert as a substitute and telling him to just snort that instead. I needed something more and something preferably stronger. So, I forked out £200 and bought a BeautySkin lamp, with the help of some family members.

I decided to take a picture everyday to show my potential improvement and give hope to other people. I then morphed them together into a short film showing my facial change. I'll post this up very soon but Youtube's being a pain in the arse. First, it crashes then the file type isn't supported and now it wants me to reduce the file size so I don't break the internet or something.

So, here's a picture of me on my first day. Enjoy?

Oh, and please comment. Just so that I know I'm not alone here.

http://img701.mytextgraphics.com/photolava...8-4a0q18lvg.gif

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I think you have a lovely face and once you're clearer and happy with your

skin you'll feel great :D Yours doesn't look too stubborn, in fact it looks a

lot like mine used to be, so once you find the right combination it can clear

pretty quickly. Good Luck :D

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I think you have a lovely face and once you're clearer and happy with your

skin you'll feel great :D Yours doesn't look too stubborn, in fact it looks a

lot like mine used to be, so once you find the right combination it can clear

pretty quickly. Good Luck :D

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Ah, sorry, I never took "before" pictures 'cause I was never sure anything I

started would pay off, so there are only afters, hence, it's hard for people to

believe I had a real problem.

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Ah, sorry, I never took "before" pictures 'cause I was never sure anything I

started would pay off, so there are only afters, hence, it's hard for people to

believe I had a real problem.

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I think you are a very striking guy.

Plus, you come across as really witty and intelligent. I agree with Effendi, your acne doesn't look stubborn or something that will stick around no matter what you do. Its a matter of trial and error to find what works for you.

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I think you are a very striking guy.

Plus, you come across as really witty and intelligent. I agree with Effendi, your acne doesn't look stubborn or something that will stick around no matter what you do. Its a matter of trial and error to find what works for you.

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Ah, sorry, I never took "before" pictures 'cause I was never sure anything I

started would pay off, so there are only afters, hence, it's hard for people to

believe I had a real problem.

And yet you still decide to help other people cure their skin. I think that's very noble of you.

What did you use to clear your skin then - seeing as though you said yours was similar to mine.

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Ah, sorry, I never took "before" pictures 'cause I was never sure anything I

started would pay off, so there are only afters, hence, it's hard for people to

believe I had a real problem.

And yet you still decide to help other people cure their skin. I think that's very noble of you.

What did you use to clear your skin then - seeing as though you said yours was similar to mine.

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I reckon I've been taking tetracycline and using my BeautySkin lamp for about 100 days now and I think there's been a good improvement on my skin. Here's the modern me:

http://img37.picoodle.com/img/img37/4/4/13...s7m_8e3d2e2.jpg

I went to Durham rowing yesterday and visited Boots afterwards and spoke to a lady with beautiful skin, almost radiant. She told me about how she used to have cystic acne around her cheeks and nasal area and how it really battered her self-esteem for months and she really knew what she was talking about. She recommended that I try Estee Lauder Night Repair serum, which is oil and gel free, to get rid of red marks. She said she used it and it cleared them up really quickly. I have to say, I've only used it once but I can see an improvement. It was inspiring to see that acne isn't an end to nice skin in the future.

Also, I've always thought acne is so depressing because it's never seen on aspirational TV or films that we watch and subliminally admire. This really struck me yesterday. I was watching BBC3 and they've allowed the public to send in clips of themselves introducing the shows. One guy who was speaking had acne and I almost felt angry that he was on the television before I realised what an irrational arse I was being! It almost probes people against skin illnesses without them knowing it...

Well, that's it for now. I'll see if my marks can fade.

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I'm feeling a bit down right now.

I've just been back at college for the first time in about three weeks and three days and I'd forgotten how much I can hate the place. Like a surprisingly large amount of my problems, this comes back to acne - all because of a few marks on my face. When I joined the school, I was destitute of any confidence and depressed. I didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to do anything and certainly didn't want to be nice. Now that I'm feeling better (and over a couple of things that happened to me around that time) I'm back to my normal self but I still feel as though my first impressions gave people the wrong idea of me. Nowadays I go to a youth club or event and everybody wants to talk to me, at my school barely anybody does. I just think that, had I never had acne, I'd have been taken much better and be feeling much better right now.

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Dude, your skin is looking sweet compared to your first photo. You are well on your way to clear skin, just stick with what you're doing becasue it seems to be working :):):)

And to be honest, if I was someone in 'the real world' looking at you I would just think of you as someone with pretty normal skin, with just a few blemishes.

(Sorry if that sounded as if I was saying people with acne are not normal, I didnt mean it that way lol)

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Dude, your skin is looking sweet compared to your first photo. You are well on your way to clear skin, just stick with what you're doing becasue it seems to be working :):):)

And to be honest, if I was someone in 'the real world' looking at you I would just think of you as someone with pretty normal skin, with just a few blemishes.

(Sorry if that sounded as if I was saying people with acne are not normal, I didnt mean it that way lol)

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I've just discovered a newly-forming cyst on the left side of my face so I'm trying my best to get rid of it without touching. I also have two whiteheads and really don't know what to do with them. Should I squeeze them, pick the tops off, pierce them with needles, leave them alone to heal by themselves or something else?

I've also compiled a group of my photos into a morphing video to show my improvement. I'll upload it soon so you can see the progress I've made.

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The weirdest thing happened to me today. As I was leaving my French class, one of my colleagues, a very attractive girl, turned to me and said:

"You're so tall, James. I think you've grown. And your face looks a lot better too. I've noticed."

Even though that was actually a pretty nice compliment, especially as it was coming from somebody who rarely gives compliments, but I felt really quite shaken and surprised by it. I don't even know why, to tell the truth. I guess it showed me how much people noticed my acne before I found a decent cure (even though I still have a stupid cyst forming on the left of my face!)

Anyone else felt this?

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I've finally got it up!

Sorry the quality isn't great but that's just Youtube for you! This video shows a group of morphs to convey the progress I've made with tetracycline and BeautySkin treatments from January to April 2008. I recommend that you use the full screen function so that my head doesn't look too horizontal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQRVJaCLCwE

So...enjoy?

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Well, I don't know the Websters definition of 'break-out' but I think I've just suffered one over the past few days - it's strange how much it looks like 'freak out' too.

There's a small but very hard nodule on my temple, two cysts on the left hand side of my face and a few whiteheads elsewhere (hmm, that sounds euphemistic...)

I'm actually staying in tonight, instead of going bowling, to help improve my face somehow. I feel a little reclusive but hopefully it'll all be cool.

So here's my question. How do you treat a cyst and make it go without leaving a scar or red mark. Right now, they're pretty small and not too easy to notice but I'm aware how big these things can, and will, get. What are the ingredients for an aspirin mask?

P.S. I might make a Charlie Brooker-style documentary about the cultural impact of acne, explaining how TV affects people's subliminal ideas of the perfect person. Good idea?

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My skin's doing better than yesterday, so I'm glad I stayed in - as I am doing today.

For some reason, I was a bit dysmorphic today. I practically had a nervous breakdown last night when I used an ice-pack on my cysts to reduce swelling, looked into the mirror and saw the big red marks of cold skin, although they fortunately faded this morning. For me, with acne, mirrors are like how Nietzsche decided abysses. The more I look into them, the more they look into me.

Actually, today was the opposite though. My face felt as though it were on fire all the time. Whenever I saw someone make eye-contact, I felt as though they were staring at my cystic acne but then I looked into the mirror and realised it was actually much better than I had thought and not exacerbating at all.

I'm still interested on making a documentary on why acne is depressing. I wonder if anyone would help me?

Thanks,

James.

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P.S. I might make a Charlie Brooker-style documentary about the cultural impact of acne, explaining how TV affects people's subliminal ideas of the perfect person. Good idea?

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My skin's improved a lot lately, or at least gotten back to how it was before I had a break-out. I've decided the whole "diet has nothing to do with acne" line is bollocks since I started binging on crisps and chocolate last week and erupted with cysts. I think acne is a result of having an oversensitive digestive system or something, so you react worse to foods you may have an intolerance to.

Because of this, I've totally omitted any junk foods from my diet and I'm even sticking to munching on carrots, apples and celery sticks when I need a 'sweet' flavour. It's not so bad. I'll see if I get any new formations of pimples, pustules, papules and probably lots of other horrible things beginning with 'P'.

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You are on the right path. Diet is absolutely the way to go. Most people who dont agree with the diet acne connection have never truly tried it in its essence. The healthy foods they choose are actually not so healthy and once they dont get the results they bash the whole connection.

The thing is that for controlling Acne through diet ( which is the overall the best way imo) one needs to go the whole hog just because there are so many possible trigger foods. So what you need to do is first up Eliminate all the common breakout associated foods for a fortnight ( and trust me you will be amazed at the difference). Then one by one you reintroduce the possibly tolerable foods (as per you) till you are able to achieve a manageable diet.

And once you have made a habit of avoiding these nasty foods then you can actually have these occasionally (but just dont go binging crazy on them).

Best of luck

K

PS: also you must look at some of the common supplements like Fish oil, Vit C etc.

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