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Sparkledust

why cant i just get on with my life...

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so i just turned 19 back in january,and for like the last 4/5 years i have done nothing with my life.my acne and scars have affected me so much,that i am very non socialable.i basically have no confidence whatsoever.and the most i do is take my dog out and sometimes i will go out at the weekends with my mum.but thats basically it.when i mean im not very socialable i also mean that since i was home educated from the age of 14.there has been no socialisation at all at college or whatever.so this in a way has probs made everything worse.i only have a couple of friends,and there people i hardly see cause i never feel up to meeting with anybody...when i do go out i just feel people are thinking god isnt she ugly,when they walk past me.i even think people driving past me in their cars think the same.so even when cars come past i will look down at the ground or put my hand over my face. ive basically had enough of it all and when i do think to myself i wanna try and change, something always gets in the way....i feel so lonely all the time,not having anyone to speak to or whatever,even though sometimes i cant deal with speaking to anyone anyway,cause i dont wanna be blurting out all my problems to them....sorry about posting this just wanted to get it out of my system..

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well maybe its time for accutance. if its them kinda spots that hurt then yeah its kinda bad. but if its jus random ones that dont hurt then u shud b alrite i gues.

as long as everything else about u is good then skin is nothin to worry about. if ur eyes are nice and bright use them to ur advantage, then it will increase some confidence.

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so i just turned 19 back in january,and for like the last 4/5 years i have done nothing with my life.my acne and scars have affected me so much,that i am very non socialable.i basically have no confidence whatsoever.and the most i do is take my dog out and sometimes i will go out at the weekends with my mum.but thats basically it.when i mean im not very socialable i also mean that since i was home educated from the age of 14.there has been no socialisation at all at college or whatever.so this in a way has probs made everything worse.i only have a couple of friends,and there people i hardly see cause i never feel up to meeting with anybody...when i do go out i just feel people are thinking god isnt she ugly,when they walk past me.i even think people driving past me in their cars think the same.so even when cars come past i will look down at the ground or put my hand over my face. ive basically had enough of it all and when i do think to myself i wanna try and change, something always gets in the way....i feel so lonely all the time,not having anyone to speak to or whatever,even though sometimes i cant deal with speaking to anyone anyway,cause i dont wanna be blurting out all my problems to them....sorry about posting this just wanted to get it out of my system..

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ive been on accutane in the past back in 2005,my skin was alot worse then,now im dealing with more red marks than anything.but i do keep get acne breakouts too,but not really big painful spots thankgod accutane seemed to cure me of them.but yeah my derm wont put me back on accutane as he says my skin isnt bad enough at the moment.and i dont think i could deal with accutane again,i had alot of side effects from it and still dealing with some of them today :(

well you know i cant see anything good in myself i basically hate everything about me...

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so i just turned 19 back in january,and for like the last 4/5 years i have done nothing with my life.my acne and scars have affected me so much,that i am very non socialable.i basically have no confidence whatsoever.and the most i do is take my dog out and sometimes i will go out at the weekends with my mum.but thats basically it.when i mean im not very socialable i also mean that since i was home educated from the age of 14.there has been no socialisation at all at college or whatever.so this in a way has probs made everything worse.i only have a couple of friends,and there people i hardly see cause i never feel up to meeting with anybody...when i do go out i just feel people are thinking god isnt she ugly,when they walk past me.i even think people driving past me in their cars think the same.so even when cars come past i will look down at the ground or put my hand over my face. ive basically had enough of it all and when i do think to myself i wanna try and change, something always gets in the way....i feel so lonely all the time,not having anyone to speak to or whatever,even though sometimes i cant deal with speaking to anyone anyway,cause i dont wanna be blurting out all my problems to them....sorry about posting this just wanted to get it out of my system..

Hey, theres no way in hell u r ugly, dont think that ur a pretty girl thats the true. I am in the same boat as u i hate myself cuz of my skin and dont like being with people cuz of it. Its hard but u need to get on with life, get out of the house and u got to get out with ur mates and have fun.

The best thing is to talk to people someone close to u about ur problems. I have good mates and a great cousin and they listen to me and try to help me though this shit. Cuz my cousin knows what its like cuz he want though the same thing. Hope this will not sound weird but if u wanna talk am here, just post me a comment or something cuz am going though the same thing as u and know what it feels like. Its good to talk to people and to get it all out of ur system.

Take Care. Ant.

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Hi there,

i do understand how you feel..Many told me not to be so much worried on the look but yeah it is really hard when i see myself in the mirror. One told me the most important thing is "inside".. i know it is easy to speak ..i am struggling on getting rid of this feeling as well as you. you are not alone in this world, you have US here in Acne.org, you have a really nice family, friends and DOG :)..

Regards,

Bond

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You're pretty. Believe I wouldn't have said anything in this thread if you were ugly for real.

If you feel bad about your appearance then just do something about it.

Hit the gym and lose a little weight and tighten up if you feel self consious about your body, or what ever it is..

If you feel your teeth are yellow, get a teeth whitening done.

If you feel your skin is pale or what ever, get a light tan.

Those small things really do work wonders for your self esteem.

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You're pretty. Believe I wouldn't have said anything in this thread if you were ugly for real.

If you feel bad about your appearance then just do something about it.

Hit the gym and lose a little weight and tighten up if you feel self consious about your body, or what ever it is..

If you feel your teeth are yellow, get a teeth whitening done.

If you feel your skin is pale or what ever, get a light tan.

Those small things really do work wonders for your self esteem.

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sparkledust its no true that people only think of your looks, it might be easier for clear people to start convos only because they never had to suffer with acne and so its just easier for them to break the ice. when people grow past the age 20 or around there, they should if not already, learn to have empathy towards others so that will naturally make them look past the appearance =) but what this means is that you should definitly try to change your state of mind so that youre not blocking them out all the time. there might be a few encounters where the convo might seem blend and awkward? but if you can tell the person is trying to keep the convo even if it seems in ordinary, then you should definitly try as well and maybe you guys will slowly be more confortable the next few times if you truely want it. Also i do find that when i buy clothes i get a boost of self-esteem but only for 2days or so. shoes maybe 3....i find that when having more variety and just more clothing will increase self-esteem long time

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hey

i know what you mean- sometimes when i get invited to parties and stuff like a week in advance i start worrying about it and then theres the whole rage at acne and myself session

then its the whole crying session

BUT

i do my makeup

wear nice clothes

hang out with some friends before hand and go

i end up having a great time- when you are out with others it makes it actually much easier not to worry and care about your skin- you dont have time to because you talking to someone about something else- any distractions from skin are good and thats why friends and socializing is SO vital - even if its really hard-

hope it gets easier for you

xx

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reach4theSky i really hope what you are saying is true and that when people get older they do see past peoples flaws.cause in my previous experiences they never really have,but that was a few years ago now...

i dont try having convos with new people so i wouldnt really know,i just tend to avoid making contact with anyone.since im not going out or anything really,its really hard to meet new people.which at the moment i dont wanna do,well i do but i always find reaons not too...i have no confidence to start convos with anyone,i am quite shy always have been,even before my acne took over my life.

arty-party-love i get what you are saying about when you hang out with your friends it tends to put your mind off your skin.when i do see a friend of mine,i hardly think about my skin if i am having a good time.but its when i get back home that i feel shit again,cause i am worrying about how much more acne i will have the next day from my makeup and what ive eaten.

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Hey, I am pretty much in your same situation. I turned 19 this past Saturday and I started to reflect upon the past 5 years of my life. All of the have been filled with acne and self hatred. I am still 19 and i keep saying to myself one more year, thats all i need is one more year. I am sure i will be saying the same thing by 21. Acne blows. It will never end.

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I'm with you on the walking past people in the street and even the cars! I mean why the hell would they be looking at me? They're watching the road surely? Nope, sometimes I'm completley convinced they are looking at me.

And what actually is the code for walking past somebody in the street? When I'm happy or even when I'm not I try and make eye contact with the person walking past, unless its a gang of asbos or whatever - then your in for a kicking if your a 19 year old male. At night too I nod at people, just to show I'm not a psycho out on the prowl - it's very reassuring to get the nod back. They say its friendlier up north so this may seem weird to some people.

It's so hard to change, I'm completley not a social creature myself. I blend into the wallpaper at parties where I really want to speak, unfortunatley you will let life pass you by if you let it. Its only recently I've been thinking to myself how much I'm letting go by me (especially a certain person) and it is really really depressing. I think 19 might be the epiphiny (sp?) point for shy people because I'm going through a similar thing as yourself.

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do you give a nice look in the eye a few times and give some type of hint. you dont have to be the first to approach since we men should do that first, you should at least show you are willing =) its definitly hard when youre not used to it and it takes time. you should have this in mind more often so at least it will sparkle the beginning of your start to emerge

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I agree with the other posts that your a very pretty girl!! :wub: .Trust me, people you meet or pass by you don't think your ugly but instead there thinking the complete opposite. Don't let acne get in the way of your life go and hang out with friends and meet new people.

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You are by no means ugly even though I know it is hard to believe that when you feel so ugly inside. Don't keep your emotions bottled up either, ITS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN!...Or state of mind. I also agree with you on the people always looking at you theory, When I feel really ugly I won't even bother going to the gym I will just wait until its dark out and then go running. Sometime I feel like im going psycho! Just put yourself out there and you will be bound to meet a guy who will like you for who you are, scars and all. One more word of advice... SMILE! Sorry I looked at your gallery and was wondering why isn't such a pretty girl smiling!

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i know i really cant help but feel people that go past in their cars are staring at me,but how the hell could they be doing that if they are keeping their eye on the road....but i cant help but think that,its just plain stupid i know....

when i walk past people in the street i just look down at the ground basically,or try to cover up my face with my hair especially if its really windy i hate that.cause then all my hair is blowing off my face :(

yeah it is meant to be more friendlier up north ive noticed that when i ahve been on holiday up there in the past...

i know that ive missed out on alot of my life due to how i feel,and i feel that im gonna miss a hell of alot more if i keep feeling like this...

ahh man i wish all of you guys would stop saying im pretty,yeah it cheers me up when i hear you say such nice things,but on the otherhand im thinking if they saw me in real life you would be thinking differently...

erm yeah i know im not smiling in any of my pics,i dont think i really smile that often,i go round looking like a miserable sod...i just dont like my smile and im not up for smiling.though if i did it would probs give off a better impression..

im a bit more pissed off today,i woke up with a breakout of about 16 spots they are only small really,but they are annoying me loads,and i have nowt to treat them with,so im thinking of trying acv again...

anyway thanks for trying to help me out everyone,thats why i love these boards so much.

:wub:

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Dear Sparkledust,

Your message of despair sounds so familiar it made me cry: you don't wish this to any young person to just sit inside desperate to go out.

I am 25 and just discovered this website, I love it, thusfar I was alone with my problem and it feels good not to be alone and to get some great tips!

So, what I want to say to you is this:

You may have a bad skin, but you have a very very pretty face! So once you get rid of the skin problems, you will have plenty of time to enjoy being a pretty young girl, cause there's good news too about greasy skin: you age very slowly, no wrinkles :-) and you're only 19, that is so young! I'm sure you will find some great tips on this website.

Second: our skinproblems affect our feelings, but being uncertain is very cute too, especially if you're actually a very pretty girl like you...

Third: please, do go out, suck it up and have fun, I had to cry reading your msg, cause it's very familiar, but here I am, being 25 and locked inside, with my beautiful body hidden from the world hahaha. Sometimes (VERY rarely) when I don't have a lot of acne, I see other people with acne and think: it's really not that bad, acne is not worth feeling so bad.

I don't want you to spend the next 6 years inside.

I hope you get a radiant skin soon, and lot's of confidence to look people in the eyes.

xx

Oops: just read that you don't want people to say you're pretty, okay... put up another pic to proof it ;-) no seriously, you are pretty, I'm sorry. Maybe your beauty is just hidden behind a lot of ugly acne, I know that's the case with me.

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so i just turned 19 back in january,and for like the last 4/5 years i have done nothing with my life.my acne and scars have affected me so much,that i am very non socialable.i basically have no confidence whatsoever.and the most i do is take my dog out and sometimes i will go out at the weekends with my mum.but thats basically it.when i mean im not very socialable i also mean that since i was home educated from the age of 14.there has been no socialisation at all at college or whatever.so this in a way has probs made everything worse.i only have a couple of friends,and there people i hardly see cause i never feel up to meeting with anybody...when i do go out i just feel people are thinking god isnt she ugly,when they walk past me.i even think people driving past me in their cars think the same.so even when cars come past i will look down at the ground or put my hand over my face. ive basically had enough of it all and when i do think to myself i wanna try and change, something always gets in the way....i feel so lonely all the time,not having anyone to speak to or whatever,even though sometimes i cant deal with speaking to anyone anyway,cause i dont wanna be blurting out all my problems to them....sorry about posting this just wanted to get it out of my system..

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You really do need to try to stay positive and keep your head up. Stressing and being depressed will only make your skin worse, and people can disagree all they want but its a true and proven fact. From my own persoanl experience and from medical studies, your skin will often reflect how you feel, I don't know what kind of hobbies you are into but you should find one that makes you feel good about yourself and focus on it to help keep your mind busy. I know its hard and I know the despair of that feeling of wasting your life hiding your face from the world... I know this may sound cruel/rude but anytime I start thinking I have it bad I think of burn victims, cripples, children in third world countries, basically anyone that has a way worse condition than some acne and It makes me feel better. I guess misery loves company.

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I havent ben on this site for such a long time - basicaly since i finished accutane and just wanted to forget my nightmare 12 years with acne. To be honest I didnt want to come back on this board again but im glad I have. I forgot how nice people are here!

It's so sad that Acne makes us feel worthless and ashamed. Sparkelust Im sure I would speak for most people on here sayng that you are a beautiful person. Inside and out. Its also ok to be shy and unsociable. Its easy to tell you to go out and do this or do that, Really though to me its important to accept the person you are and look for any positives. You have to also give yourself a break and stop being harsh on yourself. You and many people on this site are going through a prolonged and demoralising ordeal that would seriously effect most peoples lives.

I just tried so find any positive I could in my life - family, close friends, crappy tv. a cup of tea.

Also just knowing that I am a good person helps - maybe if I hand't of had this awful condition I could have become shallow and ignorent!

I would though advise you to maybe do something productive with your time. Maybe a course in an interesting subject or learn to play an instrument. I got into music production while I was not going out or working and now im close to releasing some of my material. so I now feel maybe all that heartache was worth where I am now but it was a very long dark journey!

Id rather meet a girl with acne scars who's kind and caring than soomone without who is inlove with themself. Even though you cant see it yourself you are beautiful with a capital B!

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Yeah, I've got the same problem...

I'm on Accutane right now, but more than anything it's the red marks/scars? (I hope they go away!!) that get me down. I don't have horrible cystic acne or anything. Sometimes I have really depressed moments, but honestly the best thing to do for yourself is to get out and realize that it's not as big of a deal as you think. Slap on some makeup and do stuff. And honestly, I'm not saying people don't care about looks, because I'd be lying if I did (we all know they do), but usually people are too wrapped up in their own lives to even care about whether or not your skin's perfect. That's the absolute truth. And now that your 19, most of the petty, catty gossip has stopped, I'm assuming. My big recommendation to you is to volunteer and make plans for yourself in the future. Right now I volunteer at an animal shelter, a transitional school for homeless kids, and with a hospice provider. I'm doing my best to be accepted to study abroad next semester. No, my skin's not perfect, but that doesn't mean that I can't rise above it and help other people and live my own life. If you volunteer, the people you help won't care at all about your skin and truly see you for the beautiful person I'm sure you are on the inside...

Not that you're not beautiful from what I see of your picture. I LOVE (!!!) your hair---a lot.

This post is disgustingly long, but I'm serious--volunteer and hang out with your friends...you truly are your harshest critic.

Best of luck to you.

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hey everyone,im so glad that all you guys have read my post,and have tried to help me out,it really means alot to me,that people are willing to give up there time to give me advice and that :D all you guys are just brilliant honestly,you all speak alot of sense,and im taking in all the advice that you have given me.im hoping to take notice of some of this advice and try to make something of my life,and start enjoying my life a bit more.i did manage to force myself to go out today, only down the pet store but better than nothing i suppose :D.also im planning on finding out about some courses next week, only ones that you do from home...im also intrested in doing some volunteering hopefully at somewhere to do with animals.but i dont know how long it will take me to pluck up the courage to do that.i will keep you guys updated though....

once again thanks for all the advice guys and the kind comments,i really appreciate it :wub:

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