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pedroal3xandre

I hate myself

I am allways at home in front of my computer and becaming a nerd...

i dont have guts to do anything!!!! when in the past i was such a warrior...

everything that i try for curing acne doesnt seem to solve, nothing at all...

i really dont know what to do, i am running out of money, i need to work to pay my university and i simply dont have the guts to do it... :wall:

what did i do to everything gone wrong?...

i am losting friends, oportunities, happiness and other million things....

i really have a huge obcession with my face that i cant even control it...

my familiy dont understand me, think its just an egocentric beahvior...

my friends says me that my acne isnt that bad, but in fact the some colleagues on my university really has preconcepts about me...

why do i have to suffer like this?!?!?...

i am really really tired of having this shit. I cant take it anymore... :wall:

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I know what you mean 110%.

I dont hang out with friends anymore, When I talk to people I make a fist and hols it over my chin area like im resting it there, but really im doing it to cover my acne, or I look at the floor when I talk to people.

I hate work, I hate going out, it sucks. All I want is to be happy, to get up every morning smiling knowing that I can go out and not have to worry about my zits looking back at me.

My parents think im crazy and waste my money, my friedns tell me to just use proactiv, haha, or that its not that bad, it seems like nobody understands.

I really know what your saying, the best advice I can give you is what I give myself all the time, just try to smile through it, try to be happy and not let it get you down too much. I know its hard, trust me I do, but you have to really push yourself.

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I know what you mean 110%.

I dont hang out with friends anymore, When I talk to people I make a fist and hols it over my chin area like im resting it there, but really im doing it to cover my acne, or I look at the floor when I talk to people.

I hate work, I hate going out, it sucks. All I want is to be happy, to get up every morning smiling knowing that I can go out and not have to worry about my zits looking back at me.

My parents think im crazy and waste my money, my friedns tell me to just use proactiv, haha, or that its not that bad, it seems like nobody understands.

I really know what your saying, the best advice I can give you is what I give myself all the time, just try to smile through it, try to be happy and not let it get you down too much. I know its hard, trust me I do, but you have to really push yourself.

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sometimes i feel like there is no hope. I've wanted to suicide SO many times.

acne directly blocks me from achieving my dreams (my dream job requires flawless skin). my acne isn't that bad, i just don't have good skin. I've been rejected and overlooked by "clients"... *sigh*. Acne drains my confidence... but, I'm determined to destroy it. Don't lose hope! You'll find a way!

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Yeah i understand , this made me sad.. i do care about you all , and people.

I am a very nice guy , and i which i could help really.....

, Sadly acne can't be cured , it will keep growing and growing

till it decide to stop.

my dad had bad acne before and it stopped growing at age 2x.

But really skin don't matter , you know why? you gonna get old and you wont live for ever

why not just have a good time? , smiling , be happy..

Just play Compuer GAMES!! online , it does make me happy!!!!

Computer is like my life , all i do is play games... and help people ,

that's what i wanna do help people on internet be HAPPY. thats the key "happy"

With out computer i don;t know what my life would be like.. >_<

I smile all day playing games on the computer or chatting.

hope this helped a bit >_>

I saw so many gallery on this forum , it makes me sad.

:( Imagine if i had it that bad. wouldn't know what to do.. just pray.

;/ i pray all day so god help us all^^

I just saw your pictures , and you say is bad?

You should look at the others....

i thought you had bad acne,, .....

your skin is fine to me..

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I can definitely understand what u mean. Because of my acne, i am hiding away even from my family members! Sigh... i don't wan anyone to see me. I find myself making excuses to escape from gatherings with my friends. I feel so lonely now.... Sometimes i will get remarks from my colleagues saying that maybe i should use sandpaper to make my skin smoother. They think they are so funny. The worse thing is... i can only laugh with them because i don't wan other pple to know how much my acne is bothering me. I feel like no one understand me... everywhere i look, everyone seems to have crystal clear skin... why do i have to suffer so much? Or is it my problem? Perhaps if i don't care so much, i will enjoy life more... but i can't do it... i cannot ignore pple's remarks on my skin.... just a thoughtless remark is enough to plunge me into depths of misery... When will i dare to look other pple in the eye again? I definitely need to pull myself together.... We must believe that things will get better.

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cowboy101, sierralita, iwillkillacne, EddieE and eowyn...

Thanks a lot for your words...

In fact my acne is a lot worse than it is shown on my photos...

I woke up two days ago with 3 in 1 pimp! that made my head really lost...

When i washed my face on that morning, they blowed...I hate to screw all like this!

I cant even wash my face normally, or really shaving because of this!

So, as always i didnt went out all day, i spend the weekend programming and studying (which thats ok i am on 3 year of univ.) to compensate the many days that i miss school.

Even worst is that i turned off my mobile phone, so that anyone could ask for me...

(i had began to do it all the time now...)

Shit! i really had some cool invites and i did miss it all.

I dont have the guts to say them: "yeah i am at home, feeling sorry and shame to go out because my face blowed up this morning"...

strange thing, my real friends they are fine, they never made a laugh or a joke about my face. in fact i cant remember an episode of someone making a laugh because of me...

they all must knew that i have a strong caracter and would be really mad no matter where i was and could damage someone LOL. fortunately this never happen.

but i remember and still living many days in university classes, where nobody sits on my side, or invite me to their group on a class project, or colleagues left me back or alone when we are entering on a disco, on a bar, etc. yeah! preconcepts...we have it all. i face with them all the time. I am a fucking coward sometimes. i never feel sorry of me in front of others, always suffer alone as always did. Always showing the world that everything is ok with me, that i am strong, nothing bothers me, etc... I will continue to suffering if i do not change my personality, my social behavior. i have 25 years old, iam from Portugal, i dont know any people in my small town that as acne and scars like i do...i must be very special LOL 1 in 60.000! thats a score! in the past i was a happy person. i travelled a lot, have lot of closed friends, date many girls, i was a sports men! 80kg... today i am a very sad person. i dont date anyone, i dont go out, i dont have many friends, i have a big dependecy on tabaco and sometimes marijuana...60kg now! I have tried many things for acne. I will continue to believe that my natural pills are fine... I am very tired of searching on the internet for a cure. It is worst than looking for a needle in a bundle of hay. So many lies, so many spam, so many devils taking advantage of our disadvantage...yeah! i really need to begin ride a bike, to run, to swim, i have a beach in my city!!! i love my town but i hate to go out with this devil thing in my face! I need also to stop smoking like i do, 20 cigars and a joint a day... I believe that i only can do it when i begin to make exercise.

if i didnt have this thing...i certainly have the guts to go anywhere in the world!!!

this is a very badtrip that is happening in heaven or...am i in hell?

eowyn...

i allways look people in the eye. thats the best way for us to know what people are thinking or felling...and the best way for people not knowing what we are thinking or felling :) thats what i think about it

sunshine is what i really wish for

sunshine in the heart of the people

sunshine in the heart of the world...

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Aw sad , :( yeah i know , we all feel like that.

I am very lonely.

I really don't like my life.. but I WILL always going to be a nice guy.

I don't swear , i never fought.. never will...

I will never hurt no1. i am like a christian... I think i am one ^^

wow 3 years of University? :( you should keep on going... 3 years is alot!!!

I wanna go to college cause i heard is fun , gonna give it a try.

I hope you find the cure for your acne soon.

You should try asking in this forum and use a good cream.

I seen people worst then urs and then is ALL clear.. just scars...

scars can be gone but is very expensive.. i rather spend all my $ on it.. ( going to save i have a bit scars only )

i care about my skin. since i am young.

if i was old i wouldn't care i just wanna have fun while i am young

but your to young.. you should have fun i know how u feel now

I am very lonely and of coz i do care about people is just that i decide to be lonely. >_>

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Please try to quit your tobacco habit! Smoking is TERRIBLE for your skin.

I know we all get depressed and want to drink and smoke and eat sugar so we feel better -- but that is the WORST thing to do.

Especially smoking, it robs your skin of oxygen and your skin can't heal itself properly. It ruins your immune system and poisons your blood and lungs. PLEASE TRY TO STOP.

Acne is not forever. My worst break-outs stopped when I was about 23. Now I have the scars, though lately I've been getting the most annoying break-outs on my back, I don't know why. Maybe from sun-tan lotion.

Anyway, don't give up hope and QUIT SMOKING!!! (though I never found smoking pot to be a problem, so go ahead and light up!)

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Please try to quit your tobacco habit! Smoking is TERRIBLE for your skin.

I know we all get depressed and want to drink and smoke and eat sugar so we feel better -- but that is the WORST thing to do.

Especially smoking, it robs your skin of oxygen and your skin can't heal itself properly. It ruins your immune system and poisons your blood and lungs. PLEASE TRY TO STOP.

Acne is not forever. My worst break-outs stopped when I was about 23. Now I have the scars, though lately I've been getting the most annoying break-outs on my back, I don't know why. Maybe from sun-tan lotion.

Anyway, don't give up hope and QUIT SMOKING!!! (though I never found smoking pot to be a problem, so go ahead and light up!)

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Yeah, its true. And people without acne could never understand.

I had clear skin from age 17-21, but didn't even apprieciate it because i thought I had just grown out of it.

I don't know what you've tried or not, but I think if it is affecting you this much, you should do accutane or something.

I am scared of accutane, but stress and anxiety from acne do much worse things to your health than accutane would, I believe.

My acne is hormonal... so I take anti-androgens which kill my sex drive but what can you do? I'd rather be asexual than have a face full of acne and that really says something.

People do look at you differently. People do judge you. I've been pretty and ugly. And there is nothing worse than ugly.

I don't even go out of the house which is messed up. I'm 23. When i was 15 and 16 with acne, I didn't let it bother me... I have no idea where to find that kind of strength again.

Hip

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Yeah i am almost 21 been getting acne since 14-15

keeps coming back.. then it disappear in a bit.. the red mark stays for months.. i hate that.

i hope i don't get anymore soon :(

mine is also by hormonal or w.e

my dad had it bad

so i will most likely have it bad too

but my face isn't bad as my dad yet.... cause i taking care of it

my dad said he never washed his face with soap before... >_<

I also don't go out i hate acne i got 1 and it really bothers me

for some people is disgusting =[

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Pot (what we call marijuana in the States) is a tricky drug. It interrupts your hormonal processes--and not just the sex hormones that everyone thinks about, either.

Hormones are like the on/off switches for just about anything your body does. They tell your body how to do things like digest your food, fight infection, and stimulate your reproductive system. They also tell your brain what emotions to feel.

Pot gets into these chains of chemical reactions and pretends to be other chemicals. What happens is that your body starts using other chemicals to compensate and pretty soon your system(s) is/are all out of sorts. It's like messing with the thermostat in your house to be really cold one minute and really hot the next--what happens is that you end up breaking the machinery if you don't knock it off.

This is how pot has been clinically proven again and again to cause conditions like acne, depression, and, best of all, chronic impotence.

Some of the chemicals in cigarettes have similar effects, but pot is the primary offender. (I think I read somewhere that cigarettes contain something like a thousand--or three--nasty chemicals but I'm not sure. Still, they're full of a mind-blowing amount crap.) As an ex-smoker, I can say that when I was smoking, I usually dismissed this kind of information as, "Yeah, yeah. Bad for me, I know. I'll quit soon. Whatever." Almost 4 years later, I am appalled that I could put so much garbage into my body without thinking about it. I don't mean to preach--I genuinely enjoyed smoking for a long time and I respect that other smokers probably do, too. It's just something to think about.

Back to pot. It takes over 30 days to leave your system because your body stores it in fat. Think about that. Where does fat accumulate in your body? Guess what. There's fat under your skin. There's fat around all of the major nerves in your body and in your brain (look up "myelin sheath"). There's a protective layer of fat around each of your organs (think testes and ovaries, people). My point is that if pot is stored in fat and fat surrounds all the places where your hormones are undergoing all the important chemical reactions, OF COURSE it's going to cause depression. OF COURSE it's going to ruin your skin.

If you stop smoking pot today, it might take a few weeks before you feel better. Pot is sneaky. Don't fall for the "smoking pot will make me feel better" crap. Or "I'm depressed because I quit smoking pot and I'm going through withdrawal." It's a trick. Pot takes its dear sweet time and can take weeks before making its effects known in your emotions. If you smoke just once today and not again, you could still experience depression as far away as Christmas. What's tricky about pot is that because of the lag time, we tend to blame all our crap on other things.

IT'S THE FRIGGIN POT. POT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. I know, "It's all green and it comes out of the earth so therefore it must be good." Bullshit. That's just not true for everyone. In fact, I know of only a handful of people that can smoke a ton of pot and not experience shitty skin and dark depressive funks.

Magal, you seem like a really neat guy. I'd snatch you up if you ever came to the States. Do an experiment--don't smoke pot for 2 months just to see what happens. If nothing else, I bet you'd feel a little better.

Good luck.

P.S. I hate myself too, these days. It helps me to remember nothing lasts forever--this too shall pass.

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ThreeDaysWasTheMorning thanks man! I will stop smoking this tricky green crap...

I know this is killing my emotion :/ Love for your heart men! And thanks for the snatch :)

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Guys ThreeDaysWasTheMorning was 100% correct about pot. I was able to get my acne under control and still smoke, but my social anxiety and depression still remained even with clear skin.

I only stopped 2 weeks ago and I know i can be jumping the gun but i think this is doing a world of good. I started smoking pot pretty much every day ( a dub or more) since I was 15. I'm turning 21 on xmas day and I think it is finally time for a change.

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Thank u all. I am very much confident now since i start dating...

I will stop smoke everything on this new year, starting on day 1 of january.

I will start body building on this new year, starting on day 2 of january.

Thats a promise to myself :)

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Body building can be great, I did it from 16-21 and im almost 23. Sadly there is a big correlation between lifting and acne for me. Could be cuz of the extra testosterone, stress, free radicals.

I encourage you to go for it, but id keep a log just in case it affects u the same way- and dont get caught up in all those crazy supplements like creatine, caffiene drinks etc like i did, just eat healthy.

btw, i really feel 4 all u guys as im the same-had acne since about 15, proactive cleared me decently for a few years, but it was getting worse and i didnt want 2 b slave to the bp, so i went off it trying diff things and it flared up bad- this was maybe april or may this year and in june my gf of ovr 2 years broke up with me. I was and still am completely in love with her and my self confidence dropped to below zero and depression set in and my acne got worse- now my eye and muscles twitch all the time from stress/depression (eye twitching now,lol) and its been 6 months, i avoid going out blah blah-u no how it is. but im here for anyone who wants to talk and i hope u all the best of luck with this crap

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Self loathing, skipping school because of bad acne days, switching the cell phone off - I have that too.

I recently picked up smoking and I don't see my acne being any worse because of cigarettes;-/. I think you people exaggerate the negative effects of smoking. Though I might still quit it to see if that helps any.

Magal mentioned lost opportunities - that's a particularly hateful thing about acne. So maybe masturbation does cause acne (some people swear it does). So I shouldn't wank? I shouldn't eat dairy? I shouldn't smoke?

Because of acne, I can't get a girlfriend, don't feel like looking my friends and family members in the face, and don't really feel like doing anything in general; but that's not enough. I also have to abstain from things as basic as smoking and wanking.

I hate acne :(.

Outgrowing it? I'm 22, and it doesn't seem to be any better than before. When am gonna I outgrow it? And suppose I do outgrow it - how much damage will I have incurred by then? Once you've had depression once, you're much more likely to have a relapse. And the ability to deal with the opposite sex - you acquire that in adolescence and early adulthood - and acne interferes with the acquisition with that ability to a prohibitive degree.

Coping mechanisms? I've tried going to the gym to build-up my body image. I went to the gym for 20 months, ate healthy, went to school by bicycle, drank very little and didn't smoke. My body image didn't improve much. My problem was with my face. And the acne did not improve either. So I quit gym and picked up smoking and increased my drinking. That isn't doing much for me either.

I hate acne. It's hell. I popped a sizable zit a couple of hours ago. Tomorrow I'll skip classes, turn my cell off, and clean up a bottle of wine. :wall:<_<

Good luck coping, guys! :comfort:

---

One last thing: ryudoadema, this summer I had the twitching eye too. I found out stress causes the twitching eye. My stress was caused, among other things, due to a sequence of two nasty zits on my nose (this sounds so idiotic :( ). The twitching eye is hell.

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"The twitching eye is hell." =that is true, and if it goes away for awhile, and you even think about how it hasnt been happening, it suddenly starts *knock on wood*

And i dont think anyones exxagerating the negative affects of smoking. It could make their acne worse 4 example and have no effect on urs, but guarenteed it will have other health consequences in the future even if it duznt feel like it now- but im sure you know that.

The sooner you quit, the better and easier and cheaper- one day you prolly will wanna quit and it will b so much harder

one last thing jonarryn- many people grow out of acne between 23-25, so try 2 keep optimistic (i know... its not easy)

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I know it's hard, BUT PLEASE stay positive everyone!

When I get down about my acne, I just thank GOD that I am actually a really healthy person. I am proud that I have the willpower to eat well, exercise, and meditate, even if controlling acne is part of my motivation.

Guys - trust that there are ladies out there who will love you even though you have acne. All you have to do is let your great personality show through. It is so much more important to be a good person than to have a pretty face. We all end up old and wrinkly in the end anyway. Actually, we all end up dead. So, say F*** IT! And, live your life.

I struggle with this every day. But, I keep reminding myself of these things. Negativity will only make a bad thing worse.

There is beauty in all of you. Show it. And, let it blind everyone to your acne.

"The twitching eye is hell." =that is true, and if it goes away for awhile, and you even think about how it hasnt been happening, it suddenly starts *knock on wood*

And i dont think anyones exxagerating the negative affects of smoking. It could make their acne worse 4 example and have no effect on urs, but guarenteed it will have other health consequences in the future even if it duznt feel like it now- but im sure you know that.

The sooner you quit, the better and easier and cheaper- one day you prolly will wanna quit and it will b so much harder

one last thing jonarryn- many people grow out of acne between 23-25, so try 2 keep optimistic (i know... its not easy)

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"The twitching eye is hell." =that is true, and if it goes away for awhile, and you even think about how it hasnt been happening, it suddenly starts *knock on wood*

And i dont think anyones exxagerating the negative affects of smoking. It could make their acne worse 4 example and have no effect on urs, but guarenteed it will have other health consequences in the future even if it duznt feel like it now- but im sure you know that.

The sooner you quit, the better and easier and cheaper- one day you prolly will wanna quit and it will b so much harder

one last thing jonarryn- many people grow out of acne between 23-25, so try 2 keep optimistic (i know... its not easy)

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