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I just found out this spring that I had body dysmorphia, yay.

Now whenever I look in the mirror I don't trust my own opinion

of myself and I wonder how I really look, and it friggin'

creeps me out.

Like I get ready to go out somewhere and I think I look like sh**,

and outta the blue my mom's like oh you look nice today, what?!!

I thought I had horrid acne for like 4 years, and now I wonder, did

I? Was it in my head? I've no idea.

Does anyone else happen to have this? So I don't feel like a total nutcase? :(

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Sometimes I feel a little bad about my appearance. But I think it is because I am sometimes way too critical of myself. I stare at my face all up close like in the mirror and then look at the things I don't like. This is why even when I have only one or two pimples I get a little down about myself. I feel like my skin is very congested looking too.

BDD in guys is more commonly seen when guys think they aren't big enough and need more and more muscle. Where every time they look in the mirror they see someone who is too skinny.

I think that I am okay in my bodies appearance, but my acne could improve and I could stand to gain some more muscle.

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I just found out this spring that I had body dysmorphia, yay.

Now whenever I look in the mirror I don't trust my own opinion

of myself and I wonder how I really look, and it friggin'

creeps me out.

Like I get ready to go out somewhere and I think I look like sh**,

and outta the blue my mom's like oh you look nice today, what?!!

I thought I had horrid acne for like 4 years, and now I wonder, did

I? Was it in my head? I've no idea.

Does anyone else happen to have this? So I don't feel like a total nutcase? :(

There is another thread about this, hope it helps you...

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php...=170684&hl=

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wow 2 BDD threads in a day

yeah i've got it too, if i'm out and someone compliments me i have to instantly go find the nearest mirror and check myself, i then convince myself they are making fun of me and get uspet, it's really really dumb, it's terrible not being able to trust your own opinion let alone that of others.

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wow 2 BDD threads in a day

yeah i've got it too, if i'm out and someone compliments me i have to instantly go find the nearest mirror and check myself, i then convince myself they are making fun of me and get uspet, it's really really dumb, it's terrible not being able to trust your own opinion let alone that of others.

Weird. Compliments freak me out too, I don't trust anybody and it drives

'em nuts :redface: I always think there 'just being nice'. :rolleyes:

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I think I get it sometimes, too. Although, not too serious as some people. I remember seeing a documentary where a very pretty girl refused to go out without makeup or without covering her face with something like a scarf or hat because she thought she looked hideous. Everyone told her she looked really pretty but she did not believe them of course. She had 7 plastic surgeries just on her nose.

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i saw that too, it was called "Too Ugly For Love" i read on BDDcentral from someone who knew her that they portrayed her inaccurately and that she is doing well now :D

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Holy crap I know exactly what you're talking about

like one day I'll be obsessing about how crappy I look and how bad my skin looks and someone will come up and tell me how great I look or something

When someone compliments me I usually just assume they're feeling sorry for me

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Oh I definitely have this problem, both with my body and my acne. I know, logically, I am rail thin now. I'm 26 and I'm smaller than I was at 15. I feel like most of the time I have a distorted view of what my body looks like. Because every once and a while I feel like the "true" view comes through and those are the days I go "girl, you are almost too thin". Same with my acne...some days my skin looks great to me, others it looks terrible.

Oh and last week two different coworkers told me my skin looked "radiant" and I thought, "huh? can they not see the red marks and scars?". Was really interesting. Oh and I thank Differin for my supposed "radiance"!

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I can definitely relate. I've had a fucked up body image for years now. "Creepy" describes it perfectly, because it's weird to think that I might just be imagining the flaws I see whenever I look into the mirror. How can what I see be wrong? Do I see other things incorrectly as well, or just my own image?

I don't really look in the mirror anymore. I used to obsessively check myself in any reflective surface as much as I could to see how awful I looked. I was one of those people who carried around a small mirror in their purse so I could have easier access to my obsession. Now I cannot even bear to glance at myself. I only look in the mirror to put on makeup, my topical meds for acne, and to do my hair. Otherwise, I avoid it like the plague. It's funny how I switched to the other end of the spectrum.

Oh, the things I have obsessed over. :doh: They're kind of comical and pathetic all at once. For example, I was sure I was balding at one point. The "clues" were a few measley hairs I found on my shirt. :rolleyes::lol:

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Sometimes I feel a little bad about my appearance. But I think it is because I am sometimes way too critical of myself. I stare at my face all up close like in the mirror and then look at the things I don't like. This is why even when I have only one or two pimples I get a little down about myself. I feel like my skin is very congested looking too.

EXACTLY what i do

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I can definitely relate. I've had a fucked up body image for years now. "Creepy" describes it perfectly, because it's weird to think that I might just be imagining the flaws I see whenever I look into the mirror. How can what I see be wrong? Do I see other things incorrectly as well, or just my own image?

Exactly!!

Although I'm entirely NOT critical of everyone else. My sister

complains that I'm too nice and I think everyone is good looking :lol:

Maybe 'cause I compare them to me :(

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Wow. Your post led me to your profile. You are absolutely gorgeous. I can imagine what it feels like to not be able to trust your own opinion. It's a very cruel insanity. And no, I'm not 'just being nice' when I said you were gorgeous. Or creepy.

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I cant believe compliments. In fact I dont like getting them at all. Id rather hear im ugly than Im pretty. I think people are lying to me or teasing me whenever I get a compliment and it makes me feel uncomfortble also. Ive been reading a lot about BDD and strongly feel I may suffer from it but im to scared to bring it up to anyone, only on here. My image of myself is completely blown and I see others as perfect even though there is no such thing. But I will never ever do plastic surgery or go to extremes to change my apperence. I cannot look people in the face and I tend to walk around with my head down.

Getting compliments sucks for me because I feel I have to live up to what they say. Like if I meet a guy and he says im cute, I cant look at him because I dont believe I am and its like he's building me up to be something im not and if I look him in the face I think im gonna shatter his thoughts about me and he will change his mind.

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i totally have BDD whenever i get a compliment it makes me want to get so angry i want to cry because i feel patronized. espcially when people say your skin is clearing up. i never feel like i feel nice for more than 5 minutes. i always fel like mirriors are lying to me because i look diffrent (ugly vs less ugly) in each one so i dont trust them and dont look at mirrors during the day.

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Amen to the feeling of ugliness 24/7!!

I went nuts at my parents tonight complaining about how i could spend a shitload of money on my appearance but i would never be happy with the way i looked...and that because of that life was pretty much pointless, they just looked at me as if i was crazy-i prolly am...that and pissed off that i wasnt born hotter :(

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I'll share with everyone a few home truths that took me quite a lot of time to believe, but the fact it was drummed into my head by a lot of people almost constantly made it a lot easier to remember.

Just walking down the street and you see hundreds, perhaps thousands of people. Each with their own unique face, body, clothes, and prowess. Some are dressed in the best high street brands, walking with their heads up high and smiling smugly at the world - some are just dressed casually and are in a rush to meet their friends, not paying attention to anyone around them ; just trying to get to where they need to - some are covered in hats and hoods looking at the ground walking quickly trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone who walks past. Incase your wondering what catergory I used to (sometimes still) fall under, its the last one.

In my mind, as i'm walking down the street, everyones eyes are glaring at me, they've noticed i didn't do my hair properly this morning, they've noticed that big zit on my chin, they've noticed my ears are sticking out slightly more than usual, they've noticed my eyes are a bit too far apart, they can see my scars, they can see that my nose is a bit wonky, and they're thinking to themselves "Ugh, gross..."

Funny thing is, in reality, they're looking at me because all MY attention is on me, this is pulling their attention directly at me.

If i was just walking down the street, just casually minding my own business, not trying to hide anything, not trying to walk through as many dark vacant alleys, they would not bat a fucking eyelid, why do you think spies and undercover agents do their job so well? Because they know how human psychology works, if they're trying so hard to avoid making eye contant, or talking to someone, or evading any social interation of any kind, people will notice.

I know what you're thinking "Yeah but the whole reason I do those things is because I feel insecure, I don't want people to look at me and realise how ugly I am"

Well here's another newsflash, and this is the one you REALLY need to grasp, noone cares!!!

Remember all those people down the street, i bet every single one that walks by you secretly envy one way or the other, you admire the fact they're laughing and having fun, the way their hair or make up looks, the fact they have a pretty boy/girl on their arm, they have clearer skin than you, they're thinner than you, they're prettier than you. You noticed that guy with the ever so slightly long nose hair, or that girl with the big mole on her neck, or that person with the big chin, or that other person who was slightly overweight.

But what did you do about it? What did you think when you saw them? Did you immediately recoil in horror, did you laugh point and stare? Are you thinking about them still when you got into bed that night? No of course you're not, because that is not what people do. You looked at them, saw nothing of interest, and walked on, besides everyone looks different, and it would be boring if we all looked the same.

Perhaps you're thinking on the lines i used to, which is "Noone finds me attractive, anything nice anyone says to me is a lie and they just don't want me to feel bad, it's just like when friends lie to friend's about their problems"

Well shocking polls have found that some people, REALLY do mean what they say and are sincere in every sense of the word. Ok so maybe we're all no Brad Pitt's or Angelina Jolie, beauty is found in absolutely everything, and what you may hate someone else may consider the epithany of perfection.

I've had so many girls tell me what they hate about themselves, it's all the usual suspects (Weight, Breasts, Skin, Legs, Nose, Lips, etc) and how they wish they could change it, when they look at themselves, they see these hideous flaws that they have to change. I look at them, and I see a beautiful girl looking back at me, and the objects she's identified to me that she hates about herself, i consider to be what makes her stand out and the reason why i'm so attracted to her.

Can any of you honestly say you've never had an experience like this? Has anyone ever said to you they hate something about themselves and you instantly think "What's wrong with it?" or "I LOVE that part of you, i wish i had that!!"

Now, reverse the roles, you're bitching to a friend/partner/whatever - about something you hate about yourself, they tell you that they see nothing wrong with it or that they wish they had a characterstic you had, what do you instantly think? You think they're just adding a positive spin on a negative statement you've made, and even if they were, this is one persons opinion - there are millions of people out there that would like it, equally, there are probably millions that are indifferent to it and millions who won't like it, it's impossible to please everyone. The sooner you realise that, the easier coping with how you look will be.

I always wanted to be absolutely stunning to everyone, i wanted to walk down the street and have everyone turn their heads in amazement and have women drop like flies as i strolled on by. Well, that's not ever gonna happen, even Hollywoods most desired actor would be hard done by to appeal to every single person of the opposite sex. Just accept this is life, just because you don't appeal to everyone doesn't mean you don't appeal to anyone! There have probably been hundreds of admirers in your life, how many times have you walked down the street, or been in a bar or a club, or sitting in school, and saw someone who you considered attractive and thought "Wow, he/she's beautiful/hot/sexy!!" 9/10 you won't express this vocally, or even bring attention to the fact you like this person, you will keep it in your head and that's where it will stay. This happens to everyone on a daily basis, if you had a line up of everyone in your life who has complimented you in your head you would have an incredibly long line of people, some you would suspect, some you could only dream of, that's the wonder of this world because you have no idea what another human is like!!

If someone compliments you on something, just say thank you. The transaction is complete, the acknowledgement has been received and you are grateful, it's very patronising when you compliment someone and they instantly reel off 10 reasons why you are wrong, it makes you feel as if you are wrong to think what you do and that you are weird. I used to do this to my ex all the time, she would always say to me before i went out "Don't go chatting up any girlies while you're ok ;) " and my instant reaction to this was always "Don't worry, no girls are ever interested in me because i'm so ugly, so you don't need to worry, noone will ever steal me away from you..." Depressing i know, can you say you've never felt that way? It's just genuinely how i felt, my ex had enough of it one day and confided in me, she told me that when i say things like that, it makes her less attracted to me because it makes her feel that she is somehow a weirdo for liking me and noone else will, this obvioulsy hurt my feelings because there was nothing i could do as it was how i truly felt and she just didn't understand because she was beautiful and everytime she went out guys would hit on her and confirm she is attractive. This used to cripple me and make me feel a lot worse because i would feel totally unworthy for her, despite my many other good qualities, i could never shake off the fact that an early relationship is majorly based on raw physical attraction. Silly ol me never realised while i was with her that she was so attracted to me, and that gorgeous sexy guy i thought she deserved was with her, in her eyes, the whole time.

NEVER compare yourself to anyone else, it's not an accurate comparison, what you like is hideous to someone else, and vice versa, you are unique and not comparable to anyone else, someone elses bone structure would look weird on you, someone elses eyes would not suit you, you are your own person and you should love yourself, even with what you consider your flaws.

This has been a long post and i'm sorry for anyone who feels their time has been wasted reading it, i need to go buy some Cigarettes, I don't expect anyone to read this and instantly say "I'm cured" and most likely you've heard it all before, but it never hurts to keep beating it into that beautiful head of yours ;)

Ry

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Agreed, Calibos has insight :D

I've been told a bagillion times: people will find it hard to like me and get to

know me if they can tell I hate myself.

And I know that ultimately, NO ONE GIVES A CRAP HOW I LOOK. 'Cause

I have had those days where I see somebody like disheveled or something,

did I care, or think they're ugly? No.

It's still so hard though. I just keep :wall:

Body acne + pale + skinny = no sexy factor. Ever.

:(

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To further prove my point, i shaved my facial hair off a little while ago, i looked at it and wasn't that keen on it but got used to it. I walk into work the next day noone said a thing, i just thought they didn't care. When i asked why noone had said anything they replied "Oh God wow you have, i honestly didn't notice!"

I'm thinking WTF? It's quite prominent, surely SOMEONE must of noticed.

So i went out with my friends that night, it was about 20 minutes before one of them said i looked different, they then realised what i had done.

This happens all the time, how many times is it parodied on a sitcom where a woman gets her hair cut and the husband doesn't even notice? This is a much bigger change tha say, 1 new pimple or a red patch on your face, so i say don't worry about it so much as noones probably gonna notice, i've got a big zit coming up on my cheek, its one of those sensitive ones that feel about 3 times bigger than what it is in the mirror, noones said anything though, noones staring at me, everything is exactly the same :D

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You are exactly right, Calibos. People just notice something's different when we get our hair cut or something like that; even those who know us well. I'm guilty of the same thing! My husband got his hair trimmed a month or so ago, and I noticed it after a week as I was looking at him and thinking he's even more handsome than normal. ;)

People don't really notice an extra pimple or two, either. If you keep your hands off the spot and don't irritate it, very few people will notice the spot at all.

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