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ArcticMonkey

Psychiatrist and Scarring

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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I have a lot of experience with psychologists and psychiatrists for the past ten years I've been seeing both, many different ones and let me tell you-many of them are very bizarre and just plain outright evil. I wouldn't worry about what this lady says I know this is controversial but I think a lot of strange people go into psychiatry for some reason. Anyway, for her to say that is really out of line, find a new psychiatrist if you can you shouldn't have one that says stuff like that. I'll tell you some of my experiences...one psychiatrist I saw used to grab my butt and he would ask me if I shaved my privates and kept asking me sexual questions, repeatedly. He also just did a lot of other things that were out of line. A psychologist I used to see when I explained my eating disorder after much prodding responded with "Ewwww! that's so disgusting! I can't believe you used to do that! eww!" haha! they were a bunch of quacks many of the doctors I have seen. don't think that you are wrong about feeling upset about what she said. I see a Great psychiatrist now he never says things that are rude or bizarre and I'm seeing a new psychologist so I'll see how it goes, so far she seems okay. I would really advise finding a new psychiatrist though if this lady has Already made you uncomfortable and said some rude things.

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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But what do you expect her to say? She's just telling you what you see and what she sees. Just continue seeing her, it doesnt cost you anything and it gives you a chance to tell her your story to somebody, IN PERSON, rather than talking to somebody over the internet.

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Arctic i have read most of your post starting from when you were excited about your upcoming dermabrasion so in a way i kind of get where your coming from. Since you didn't say otherwise i assume your going back to see this woman. Although you may not know it you achieved heaps by going to see this woman such as actually leaving the house which is massive as its key to helping you start doing something with your life eg work, going to uni and having meaningful relationships, the worst thing that could happen is that a few years down the road you find you can improve your skin but you've wasted all these years staying at home.

I think you knew that she would say something about your skin but didn't realise how hard it would hit.

Keep at it for the time being as someone else here said its free anyway so you have nothing to lose.

Hope your feeling better now

Tom

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ArcticMonkey - I have to agree with Girl333. I have known several psychologists and some of them are just flat weird. I also knew someone that worked on her masters degree and went into counseling and I have to say that she had more than her share of really deep issues. It could be possible that she went into that field to try to work through her own issues.

My suggestion would be to try someone else. I would guess that there are some good ones out there that can help.

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Hi, thanks for the reply's guys, You're probably right i should have expected she'd say something along those lines, as after all my skin is shit and that is why i'm seeing her. But it is still hard hearing tht you look different from other people, which in my opinion didn't need to be said, this doctor i am seeing doesn't have a great reputation anyway, she is rather strange, but she's the only psychiatrist on the nhs in my area, the last one left, and he wasn't much better seemingly. My next appointment isn't until the 31st of December, but i doubt very much i'll be attending that appointment.

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Hi, thanks for the reply's guys, You're probably right i should have expected she'd say something along those lines, as after all my skin is shit and that is why i'm seeing her. But it is still hard hearing tht you look different from other people, which in my opinion didn't need to be said, this doctor i am seeing doesn't have a great reputation anyway, she is rather strange, but she's the only psychiatrist on the nhs in my area, the last one left, and he wasn't much better seemingly. My next appointment isn't until the 31st of December, but i doubt very much i'll be attending that appointment.

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ya, i guess, really, what can she say? but man, that doesn't take away from it! i do that these days too. i think "pockmarked" (i'm thinkin of myself as i think this...cuz i'm pockmarked haha). shit hurts, even comin from my own head. but it's desensitization. i'd rather know what i am, instead of strut around acting like i'm brad pitt, meanwhile people are like, 'dude...nah'.

it's like, i saw this chick w/ really bad stretchmarks in one of my classes (i mean BAD. looks like lightning on a dark night). they're under her arms, and she always wears sleeveless shirts. ALWAYS. so if you missed them on monday, you get a 2nd chance on wednesday. whether she knows or not isn't the point of my story. the point is, ya, she got bad stretchiez...but big friggin deal. people notice them, but no one spends time huddled in the corners, talkin bout her marks. maybe back in high school. we all got our own lives to live.

MEANWHILE, she turns around to look at me, and she's probly in the stretch mark forums. tellin everyone about the stud (myself) w/ scars on his face. ha. such is the balance of things...

anyway, props you got the courage to see a therapist bro. that's balls right there. i got problems too, but i don't think i got the cajones to have someone talk to me about them. as for visiting the doc again...i'd say if you go for your acne, cross her off the list and see a derm instead (wait. she's free. if she's hot, go!). if you go cuz you're suicidal or depressed, well then i'd definitely say KEEP THAT APPT! i better not hear about you killin yourself over a superficial condition like acne. remember, no matter how bad you have it, there's always someone out there who has it worse. PLUS, she'll give you PILLZ! YUMMY! haha. it's up to you bro. good luck.

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remember, no matter how bad you have it, there's always someone out there who has it worse.

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oh ya,

arctic. i don't know what your situation is for school, but you might wanna consider dropping out til your face clears up a bit, if it bothers you that much. i wish i had done that when i was in school. if i took time off school, i wouldn't have half the scars i have today. i was too much of a pussy to tell my parents that i wanted to take time off to heal (actually, my parents pretty much didn't let me take time off). but now that i think about it, that's one of those rare times that i'd like to get back, to tell them eff it, i'm takin a break.

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I think this therapist was probably trying to 'purge' you of your depression; to bring out all of the bad feelings you have inside and the pain and suffering you are going through. It's kinda like accutane where the drug makes your nodular acne 10x worse before it gets better. I think this method of therapy is controversial, but maybe it works, if it doesn't take someone too far over the edge to where they can't 'get out of it' if you know what I mean. I may consider trying it myslef. It seems as I get older, my depressions over the way my skin looks get worse and worse. I know the reflection in the mirror of my skin gets worse and worse as the neverending breakouts ensue and new scars start to form. All this is true even when I continue to spend thousands and thousands of dollars year in and year out, living each and every month of my life broke and struggling to make my living expenses. It hurts so so much to have to go through this. Most people my age can start setting up retirement funds and advance in their careers. Both those things I have no energy or motivation or ability to pursue anymore. Cystic acne and the consequential scarring have absolutely ruined my life.

If it makes you feel any better, don't think that by having a dermabrasion was the only or worst way you could have screwed yourslef. I think haveing neverending whiteheads that scar everytime is far worse.; with that the damage is perpetual.

My life has been fraught with sorrow. Everyday is nothing but sadness, never happiness, so much pain and suffering. I yearn for those days I used to feel happy and not worry about it.

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Hiding out isn't good for your psychological self, either. If something affects you so severely that it causes relationship problems, school or work attendance issues, you've got to go get treatment for the psychological ramifications and issues.

Take it from a middle-aged person who has been in your shoes. I had significant, severe cystic acne as a young adult. I hid out a bit, but then got some counseling and medication and no longer hid myself away. I went out and had fun, met people, made friends.

Now I've no acne, but plenty of scarring. It doesn't bother me at all; I am working to fix the scarring a bit, but it does not impede my social life in any way whatsoever. I actually forget I have it as I constantly lose myself in the moment. That's what we need to do: lose ourselves in the moment, have fun while we can.

That video is so saddening, but I do hope that young man can get to an almost normal facial appearance someday. I do wish that the hospital had offered him help before he got to that stage. He will likely never be normal again, but he sure seems to have a great spirit that can cope. I for one wish him well.

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OMG! I feel so sad for that Chinese boy. That is horrible. I wonder why he was not treated much sooner when the tumour was just starting? Unless he was born that way? That is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever seen. I hate to say this but I think I would off myself if that ever happened to me...it just looks as though he is also physically suffering.

To the OP, have you ever considered scar treatment to help you acne scars? Retin-A, Peels, or even lasers (although careful with these, some are quite risky).

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arctic monkey look at the changing faces website.

http://www.changingfaces.org.uk/index.php?...9&Itemid=61

They can get you in touch with a therapist anywhere in the country and they are trained to deal with people who feel unhappy with their appearance.The downside is you may have to pay.it sounds to me your psychiatrist would just approach your feelings about your appearnce in a general way.I went to a counsellor a few years ago about my acne and scarring but he just seemed to regard it as a superficial concern not the real issue so I spent 10 sessions talking about my relationship with my mother lol.I kept telling him how my skin upset me but he just did n't think that was important.

I am low on finances at the moment but will definately contact a therapist through changing faces to help myself in the near future.they are specifically there for people who have problems with their appearnce.good luck.

andy

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Today i had an appointment with a psychiatrist (free on the NHS) i'm currently waiting to see a psychologist but the waiting list is 12 months, anyway, it took a lot of courage and shit to get me to acctually leave the house and attend this appointment, as i rarely leave the house due to feeling as though i look like a freak show, anyway after the doctor introduced herself, pretty much the first thing she said was "I see from your notes that hate the way your skin looks, well i can certainly see irregularities on your cheeks, i can see your skin isn't like most other people" i know its the truth but to hear an acctuall doctor tell me this was absoloutly heartbreaking, i came away from the appointment feeling 10 times worse. It just goes to show that that is what everyone does actually see when they look at me, a scarred mess. What an existance. :cry:

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arctic monkey look at the changing faces website.

http://www.changingfaces.org.uk/index.php?...9&Itemid=61

They can get you in touch with a therapist anywhere in the country and they are trained to deal with people who feel unhappy with their appearance.The downside is you may have to pay.it sounds to me your psychiatrist would just approach your feelings about your appearnce in a general way.I went to a counsellor a few years ago about my acne and scarring but he just seemed to regard it as a superficial concern not the real issue so I spent 10 sessions talking about my relationship with my mother lol.I kept telling him how my skin upset me but he just did n't think that was important.

I am low on finances at the moment but will definately contact a therapist through changing faces to help myself in the near future.they are specifically there for people who have problems with their appearnce.good luck.

andy

ArcticMonkey,

I agree with this advice. You don't need psychoanalysis as much as you need coping skills. Maybe if this organization has support groups you will begin to be able to lessen the focus on yourself as you will learn that you are not alone. Almost everyone here is unhappy with some aspect of their appearance. However, there are those in the world who have learned to deal with this and know that even with as much focus as is placed on appearance your face is just one aspect of the special person that is the whole of you. If you look at the link above you see pictures of folks who I am sure are more significantly impacted than you are, but they are smiling. I have read your post and I know you are compassionate and smart and I'm sure you have many other wonderful attributes.

I am rooting for you!

Anna

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OMG! I feel so sad for that Chinese boy. That is horrible. I wonder why he was not treated much sooner when the tumour was just starting? Unless he was born that way? That is one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever seen. I hate to say this but I think I would off myself if that ever happened to me...it just looks as though he is also physically suffering.

To the OP, have you ever considered scar treatment to help you acne scars? Retin-A, Peels, or even lasers (although careful with these, some are quite risky).

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arctic monkey look at the changing faces website.

http://www.changingfaces.org.uk/index.php?...9&Itemid=61

They can get you in touch with a therapist anywhere in the country and they are trained to deal with people who feel unhappy with their appearance.The downside is you may have to pay.it sounds to me your psychiatrist would just approach your feelings about your appearnce in a general way.I went to a counsellor a few years ago about my acne and scarring but he just seemed to regard it as a superficial concern not the real issue so I spent 10 sessions talking about my relationship with my mother lol.I kept telling him how my skin upset me but he just did n't think that was important.

I am low on finances at the moment but will definately contact a therapist through changing faces to help myself in the near future.they are specifically there for people who have problems with their appearnce.good luck.

andy

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Ylem, the psychiatrist had perfect skin, she wasn't pretty at all though and hadn't shaved her legs in what looked like the past 12 months. But i'd certainly trade my disgusting scarred skin for hairy legs and a not so pretty face.

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Ylem, the psychiatrist had perfect skin, she wasn't pretty at all though and hadn't shaved her legs in what looked like the past 12 months. But i'd certainly trade my disgusting scarred skin for hairy legs and a not so pretty face.

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