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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

Hello.

I don't know you, but I can definitely feel what you're going through.

I had horrible acne, and at times I have felt like giving up and killing myself.

I have never known a single person with acne. I have never been asked out. I have never known for many years what it feels like to walk with your head up high in the crowd, feeling totally relaxed and at peace with the way I look. I have never felt hot. Nothing.

I have never "flaunted" it.

But if I look at it from a bigger picture....what does it matter?

Am I here to please the world with my "gorgeous" skin?

Am I not human if I have some bumps on my face?

Do I not deserve to live my life the way I want to?

If I make a difference in this world, who will care what my face looked like?

It's what I do and who I am.

I don't know if it helps you, but I think of the people that are worse off.

People who are staving, people who have lost arms and legs, and are burnt all over their body. People with cancer, people with no parents, no shelter, no home.

And I think, they're humans too.

These superficial idiots make up a teeny portion of the world.

The world is an amazing place, so many people to help, so many differences to make.

Acne is temporary.

And I only have one life.

Fuck it, it's not going to stop me from anything. It may stop me from getting asked out, from looking sexy on the streets, but it can't stop me from the things that matter. Loving, making a difference, helping others, thinking.

And in the end, I know I will find someone for me, someone who can see what matters, and not the dumb exterior.

You're gorgeous. A supermodel. One day you get stuck inside a burning car. Your body is done for. Your face is burnt. Is your life over? No. You still have what matters, if you don't let it turn you bitter. And if you don't let it turn you bitter, then I think you have passed the greatest of tests. You're beautiful in the ways that COUNT.

So what's acne to stop me?

Your acne will not be forever, let me tell you that.

Your life will not be forever either. You only have one.

So go to class, learn, live.

Make a difference in the world.

Acne, fuck it, have it or don't have it, it doesn't matter to me.

It's not who I am.

Remember, your situation does not define who you are. YOU define who you are.

I will pray for you every night.

Stay strong. :)

Peace.

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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

Hello.

I don't know you, but I can definitely feel what you're going through.

I had horrible acne, and at times I have felt like giving up and killing myself.

I have never known a single person with acne. I have never been asked out. I have never known for many years what it feels like to walk with your head up high in the crowd, feeling totally relaxed and at peace with the way I look. I have never felt hot. Nothing.

I have never "flaunted" it.

But if I look at it from a bigger picture....what does it matter?

Am I here to please the world with my "gorgeous" skin?

Am I not human if I have some bumps on my face?

Do I not deserve to live my life the way I want to?

If I make a difference in this world, who will care what my face looked like?

It's what I do and who I am.

I don't know if it helps you, but I think of the people that are worse off.

People who are staving, people who have lost arms and legs, and are burnt all over their body. People with cancer, people with no parents, no shelter, no home.

And I think, they're humans too.

These superficial idiots make up a teeny portion of the world.

The world is an amazing place, so many people to help, so many differences to make.

Acne is temporary.

And I only have one life.

Fuck it, it's not going to stop me from anything. It may stop me from getting asked out, from looking sexy on the streets, but it can't stop me from the things that matter. Loving, making a difference, helping others, thinking.

And in the end, I know I will find someone for me, someone who can see what matters, and not the dumb exterior.

You're gorgeous. A supermodel. One day you get stuck inside a burning car. Your body is done for. Your face is burnt. Is your life over? No. You still have what matters, if you don't let it turn you bitter. And if you don't let it turn you bitter, then I think you have passed the greatest of tests. You're beautiful in the ways that COUNT.

So what's acne to stop me?

Your acne will not be forever, let me tell you that.

Your life will not be forever either. You only have one.

So go to class, learn, live.

Make a difference in the world.

Acne, fuck it, have it or don't have it, it doesn't matter to me.

It's not who I am.

Remember, your situation does not define who you are. YOU define who you are.

I will pray for you every night.

Stay strong. :)

Peace.

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I feel like this is such a minor medical problem that should have an easy fix, or at least people working on fixing it. It seems that acne is really placed on the back burner when it is a major issue affecting so many people.

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I feel like this is such a minor medical problem that should have an easy fix, or at least people working on fixing it. It seems that acne is really placed on the back burner when it is a major issue affecting so many people.

I agree with this. People act like you only can get acne of you're too lazy to do anything about it. I'm lucky to have controllable moderate acne, but it is still a pain to keep that way. I cant imagine having worse. It is frustrating how relatively little is done to improve treatment for acne. It seems like there's still only a vague understanding of why some get it & others don't.

Cinemaluvr makes some excellent points that your acne doesn't make you any less human or worth less as an individual. Beauty is a fleeting thing, we put too much value in it.

The good-looking people who are so shallow as to write someone off over a skin condition are the ones who aren't worth much. They are the ones who should be looked down on; what do they have to offer of any substance? Don't let acne consume you. I know it doesn't feel minor & the physical pain hurts, but you are so much more than the skin on your face.

If you want to feel good about your appearance, give attention to the other areas (ie. clothes, hair, grooming). If a guy is well groomed & has even bad acne there are girls who will take the time to get to know him. It's the whole package. I'm just saying this in case you've felt stifled socially.

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I have many close friends and even a boyfriend (I'm gay)

Not to minimize your problems, but so many here don't even have friends or can't find anyone to date them cuz of their acne & how it affects them. Don't those relationships add meaning to your life? Those friends & your bf prove that everyone doesn't judge based on looks.

I understand the physical pain part, and I've never even had a real cyst, so I hope something does work out for you though.

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I have many close friends and even a boyfriend (I'm gay)

Not to minimize your problems, but so many here don't even have friends or can't find anyone to date them cuz of their acne & how it affects them. Don't those relationships add meaning to your life? Those friends & your bf prove that everyone doesn't judge based on looks.

I understand the physical pain part, and I've never even had a real cyst, so I hope something does work out for you though.

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I have many close friends and even a boyfriend (I'm gay)

Not to minimize your problems, but so many here don't even have friends or can't find anyone to date them cuz of their acne & how it affects them. Don't those relationships add meaning to your life? Those friends & your bf prove that everyone doesn't judge based on looks.

I understand the physical pain part, and I've never even had a real cyst, so I hope something does work out for you though.

Yes, these friends do help and they mean the world to me. Unfortunately, these friends go to other colleges and I hardly ever get to see them in person. I do have friends at my school, but none as close as my other friends. Also, because I'm so self-conscious about my skin condition, I'm often afraid to try to make new friends here or get closer to the ones I already have.

It's frustrating with my boyfriend, because I'm basically avoiding him right now because of my skin. This is what caused my last relationship to end. I didn't even want another relationship, but now I'm in one. I've read other posts on here where people have said the same thing about acne and how it affects their relationships. I know he likes me regardless, but still, I want to look my best for him and feel good about myself. He's never seen me with skin this bad. None of my friends have. In times like these I confine myself to my room. Sometimes I don't even eat because I don't want my roommates to see my horrible skin.

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i am so glad to hear you have loving people around you!! reading your story i was close to tears, but i am already a bit releived.

please stay on the org and talk to us. also, when you are feeling sad tell ur friends and your boyfriend what the real reason is. ( rylan mentioned this in her post when talking about her boyfriend. i have had a similar experience.) if you really care about some1 it is better to tell them the truth than to avoid that person, because he might think you are shunning him.

please please please do not take your life. life hurts bad. that is a fact.

it is also a fact that we will all die some day, there is no point in precipitating events.

right now you are alive, and you need to make the most of your life since it belongs to you.

(ok i am corny lol) if your sufferring is permanently out of control, maybe you could consider trying to alleviate that by making some changes (these are just ideas off the top of my head)

maybe take anti depressants, move to a more rural area where you could get outside whithout a million people staring at u, get a kitten, (ok lol these sound retarded, but there better than killing yourself, and they would make me feel happier, especially the kitten)

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I've hinted to my boyfriend (we've only been dating a month) about my skin being an issue for me, but I don't think he really noticed. From my experience, a big part of a relationship in the very beginning is based on physical attraction. From there you get to know each other and grow. It's hard because when I first met my boyfriend, my skin was pretty good. Now it's worse than ever :-(

I have an appointment at a leading research hospital on Monday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll be helpful.

All of my friends are in town this weekend, but I told them I'm busy. Also, I quit my job today, because I couldn't bare to go into work looking like this, and I'm about to be fired anyway from calling-in so often.

I'm really envious of your situation! It's so cute! Your boyfriend sounds like a great person!

I think that my boyfriend might respond the same way, but I'm not sure. I guess there's only one way to find out. I want to be open with him, and he's logical, so I'm sure he'd understand. I may move in with him at some point, so I have to get over this now.

Anyway, thanks for the response! It made me feel much better!

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i am so glad to hear you have loving people around you!! reading your story i was close to tears, but i am already a bit releived.

please stay on the org and talk to us. also, when you are feeling sad tell ur friends and your boyfriend what the real reason is. ( rylan mentioned this in her post when talking about her boyfriend. i have had a similar experience.) if you really care about some1 it is better to tell them the truth than to avoid that person, because he might think you are shunning him.

please please please do not take your life. life hurts bad. that is a fact.

it is also a fact that we will all die some day, there is no point in precipitating events.

right now you are alive, and you need to make the most of your life since it belongs to you.

(ok i am corny lol) if your sufferring is permanently out of control, maybe you could consider trying to alleviate that by making some changes (these are just ideas off the top of my head)

maybe take anti depressants, move to a more rural area where you could get outside whithout a million people staring at u, get a kitten, (ok lol these sound retarded, but there better than killing yourself, and they would make me feel happier, especially the kitten)

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I've hinted to my boyfriend (we've only been dating a month) about my skin being an issue for me, but I don't think he really noticed. From my experience, a big part of a relationship in the very beginning is based on physical attraction. From there you get to know each other and grow. It's hard because when I first met my boyfriend, my skin was pretty good. Now it's worse than ever :-(

I have an appointment at a leading research hospital on Monday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll be helpful.

All of my friends are in town this weekend, but I told them I'm busy. Also, I quit my job today, because I couldn't bare to go into work looking like this, and I'm about to be fired anyway from calling-in so often.

I'm really envious of your situation! It's so cute! Your boyfriend sounds like a great person!

I think that my boyfriend might respond the same way, but I'm not sure. I guess there's only one way to find out. I want to be open with him, and he's logical, so I'm sure he'd understand. I may move in with him at some point, so I have to get over this now.

Anyway, thanks for the response! It made me feel much better!

do you see the relationship going anywhere? i think you should tell him and if he distances himself than you're better off without him. but i'm pretty sure he won't mind. i doubt he only dated you b/c of physical attraction, give yourself more credit than that although you are a handsome guy, you seem like a really sweet guy also. unless you really need the cash, don't worry so much about work, worry about yourself first. confide in your boyfriend, it will help. if not, i'm a very good listener (or rather reader lol).

i am so glad to hear you have loving people around you!! reading your story i was close to tears, but i am already a bit releived.

please stay on the org and talk to us. also, when you are feeling sad tell ur friends and your boyfriend what the real reason is. ( rylan mentioned this in her post when talking about her boyfriend. i have had a similar experience.) if you really care about some1 it is better to tell them the truth than to avoid that person, because he might think you are shunning him.

please please please do not take your life. life hurts bad. that is a fact.

it is also a fact that we will all die some day, there is no point in precipitating events.

right now you are alive, and you need to make the most of your life since it belongs to you.

(ok i am corny lol) if your sufferring is permanently out of control, maybe you could consider trying to alleviate that by making some changes (these are just ideas off the top of my head)

maybe take anti depressants, move to a more rural area where you could get outside whithout a million people staring at u, get a kitten, (ok lol these sound retarded, but there better than killing yourself, and they would make me feel happier, especially the kitten)

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i am so glad to hear you have loving people around you!! reading your story i was close to tears, but i am already a bit releived.

please stay on the org and talk to us. also, when you are feeling sad tell ur friends and your boyfriend what the real reason is. ( rylan mentioned this in her post when talking about her boyfriend. i have had a similar experience.) if you really care about some1 it is better to tell them the truth than to avoid that person, because he might think you are shunning him.

please please please do not take your life. life hurts bad. that is a fact.

it is also a fact that we will all die some day, there is no point in precipitating events.

right now you are alive, and you need to make the most of your life since it belongs to you.

(ok i am corny lol) if your sufferring is permanently out of control, maybe you could consider trying to alleviate that by making some changes (these are just ideas off the top of my head)

maybe take anti depressants, move to a more rural area where you could get outside whithout a million people staring at u, get a kitten, (ok lol these sound retarded, but there better than killing yourself, and they would make me feel happier, especially the kitten)

Haha your response made me laugh :)

I don't think I could ever kill myself, because I don't want to cause my friends and family pain, and I do have people that care about me and I'm very grateful for this, but the feelings just won't go away. I basically spent all day today sitting in my room thinking of various ways of ending my life.

I'm definately going to have to talk to my boyfriend, because the last thing I want is for him to be hurt or confused as to why I'm avoiding him. He doesn't deserve that. I already ruined my last relationship because of this and I'm sure my ex felt like shit.

And I love kittens.

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i am so glad to hear you have loving people around you!! reading your story i was close to tears, but i am already a bit releived.

please stay on the org and talk to us. also, when you are feeling sad tell ur friends and your boyfriend what the real reason is. ( rylan mentioned this in her post when talking about her boyfriend. i have had a similar experience.) if you really care about some1 it is better to tell them the truth than to avoid that person, because he might think you are shunning him.

please please please do not take your life. life hurts bad. that is a fact.

it is also a fact that we will all die some day, there is no point in precipitating events.

right now you are alive, and you need to make the most of your life since it belongs to you.

(ok i am corny lol) if your sufferring is permanently out of control, maybe you could consider trying to alleviate that by making some changes (these are just ideas off the top of my head)

maybe take anti depressants, move to a more rural area where you could get outside whithout a million people staring at u, get a kitten, (ok lol these sound retarded, but there better than killing yourself, and they would make me feel happier, especially the kitten)

Haha your response made me laugh :)

I don't think I could ever kill myself, because I don't want to cause my friends and family pain, and I do have people that care about me and I'm very grateful for this, but the feelings just won't go away. I basically spent all day today sitting in my room thinking of various ways of ending my life.

I'm definately going to have to talk to my boyfriend, because the last thing I want is for him to be hurt or confused as to why I'm avoiding him. He doesn't deserve that. I already ruined my last relationship because of this and I'm sure my ex felt like shit.

And I love kittens.

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I'm at the end of my rope.

Every over-the-counter product possible.

Every prescription antibiotic possible.

Every topical solution possible.

Four courses of Accutane.

Four dermatologists, two family doctors, an infectious disease specialist, an allergist, countless walk-in treatment clinics, an endocrinologist, the university student health center.

And here I sit with a face full of horrible, painful, cystic acne.

I'm too ashamed to go to class and not doing very well because I never go.

I'm about to be fired from calling in so many times because I've been too embarrassed to leave my room.

Thousands of dollars have been spent.

And still, after eight years of constant, horrible acne, I still have it. I'm only 20. It'll probably continue for years.

This is just not acceptable. From what I've invested into my skin, I should have better results than this.

At this point, I have one more meeting with a state university research dermatology center, in three weeks. If this does not yield results, I will probably take my own life.

I don't know if there is life after this one, and frankly, I don't care. If there is, cool. I'll enjoy it and be thankful. If not, and we're all just scientifically made creatures who run our course and die, then so be it. Obviously I will just be helping evolution out by killing off a physically weaker member of the human species. I didn't ask to be born. Why the fuck do I have to go through this?

Thank you for your time.

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