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tdot

I'm getting crazy again... need some support...

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Last summer, I was so depressed about my skin, I was seriously contemplating suicide... and that scares the crap outta me. I was feeling helpess and empty... like my life had no meaning. I slowly started getting better as my skin started getting better... I even have a new boyfriend. However I think he is making the situation worse for me... he is a great person but I am so self concious to begin with, and tryign to look pretty for a guy is making me feel like crap... I cry every morning as I spend my 30 minutes carefuly putting my makeup on to cover my scars, I have lost SO much weight due to being afraid of food causing acne and I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams... He seems to really care about me and when I'm with him I even feel happy for that short time, but I feel like I'm being fake around him becaus eI just want to tell him that I am really a crazy, depressed nutcase, screaming and crying inside. I dont know what to do... it's especially bad because I work with him and see him everyday at work, so if I broke things off it would be awkward. I feel like at any moment I'm going to break out like crazy and be this hideous person that he doesnt want to be with... I really really hate like sometimes, I'm SO tired of tryign to be happy.

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I totally understand how you are feeling, just try and remember that this too shall pass, and be glad that your skin has cleared up as much as it has ;) You have to remember that when your boyfriend or whoever else looks at you they are not seeing that scar on your cheek or that pimple on your chin, they are seeing YOU, and if this guy is your boyfriend he obviously already LIKES YOU so there is no reason to be self conscious because of him! It sounds like you might have low self esteem, which is something I am trying to work on myself, and I know all too well how much of a toll that can take on your relationships and overall quality of life. I understand not wanting to tell your boyfriend how you feel, and honestly I don't think you should tell him right now because you are not ready to. Just enjoy your time with him and have fun when you are together and try not to let the negative thoughts creep in. No one enters a relationship and points out all their flaws or problems immediately, and believe me everyone has them. It does sound like you need to talk to someone though, and you might want to consider a therapist. Don't let it make you feel crazy or weird to reach out for help, most people do or should seek help at some point in their lives. Life is hard - it's scary, sad, hurtful, and wonderful all at once, you just gotta focus on the good. Sometimes when I sit down and talk about the things I am worried about I realize that I am taking myself too seriously and becoming stuck in a negative way of thinking and that ends up tainting even the good things in my life. Sorry for rambling, your post just really struck a nerve with me because I have been there many times in my life but I believe you can change your way of thinking and enjoy your life again!

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I totally understand how you are feeling, just try and remember that this too shall pass, and be glad that your skin has cleared up as much as it has ;) You have to remember that when your boyfriend or whoever else looks at you they are not seeing that scar on your cheek or that pimple on your chin, they are seeing YOU, and if this guy is your boyfriend he obviously already LIKES YOU so there is no reason to be self conscious because of him! It sounds like you might have low self esteem, which is something I am trying to work on myself, and I know all too well how much of a toll that can take on your relationships and overall quality of life. I understand not wanting to tell your boyfriend how you feel, and honestly I don't think you should tell him right now because you are not ready to. Just enjoy your time with him and have fun when you are together and try not to let the negative thoughts creep in. No one enters a relationship and points out all their flaws or problems immediately, and believe me everyone has them. It does sound like you need to talk to someone though, and you might want to consider a therapist. Don't let it make you feel crazy or weird to reach out for help, most people do or should seek help at some point in their lives. Life is hard - it's scary, sad, hurtful, and wonderful all at once, you just gotta focus on the good. Sometimes when I sit down and talk about the things I am worried about I realize that I am taking myself too seriously and becoming stuck in a negative way of thinking and that ends up tainting even the good things in my life. Sorry for rambling, your post just really struck a nerve with me because I have been there many times in my life but I believe you can change your way of thinking and enjoy your life again!

Thank-you for your response... :) I'm glad you are feeling better :) I KNOW that I have extremely low self-esteem so it IS really hard to be happy with my face. I know though, that if I do have another huge breakout I WILL NOT beable to handle it and I will just go spiraling into a deep dark depression... and my fear of this happening is making me crazy. I know I'm not ready to tell him how I feel right now, but I know eventually I am going to have to say something because I cant pretend to be happy all time... when I am dying inside....

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Just tell him how you feel anyway. What's the worst that he could do? Dump your ass and find a less-insane girl?

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Just tell him how you feel anyway. What's the worst that he could do? Dump your ass and find a less-insane girl?

He could dump my ass for a prettier, non-acne, nice body normal weight, non-crazy girl... this is how I think... and when I think about it... I want to die.

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There is no use in worrying about these things! You can't live in fear of another breakout, or of a breakup, or anything else that you are afraid might happen in the future. Look, the guy obviously likes you or he never would have been with you in the first place, so there's no reason to think you're not good enough for him. I can't say he's not going to dump you because he might, but there is ALWAYS that possibility, no matter who you are with you do not know what tomorrow will bring - you might even get sick of him in a month and end up dumping him instead! The thing is, you gotta start to accept that that is OK, and that right now things are good, and that even if it all crashes down around you tomorrow at least you can say you enjoyed it while you could. If you continue to let your worries run your life you won't even have those good memories to look back on and smile when things really do get rough. Bad things are going to happen to you sometimes, boys will break your heart, friends will stab you in the back, and you might wake up to a huge zit tomorrow, but what good does it do to dwell on these things now, especially when they might not even happen?

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i very much understand your self-concious-around-boyfriend stuff. i used to get the same thing!! very dangerous bullshit. it would literally drive me awol. crying etc.. the problem is it can bring up all ur other insecurities, like u were saying to rsf body weight (im also really skinny with no boobs although i have no idea why) skin jealousy of other girls etc.... alert:pandora's box here!! close that bitch!! spark was saying some very smart things about u should not worry about what could happen cuz u dont know!! with time i managed to chill around my boyfriend, not wear make up in front of him etc... and now hes my husband! :surprised: acne does not always send them packing. your fear and anxiety might negatively impact ur relationship worse than pimples and scars

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i very much understand your self-concious-around-boyfriend stuff. i used to get the same thing!! very dangerous bullshit. it would literally drive me awol. crying etc.. the problem is it can bring up all ur other insecurities, like u were saying to rsf body weight (im also really skinny with no boobs although i have no idea why) skin jealousy of other girls etc.... alert:pandora's box here!! close that bitch!! spark was saying some very smart things about u should not worry about what could happen cuz u dont know!! with time i managed to chill around my boyfriend, not wear make up in front of him etc... and now hes my husband! :surprised: acne does not always send them packing. your fear and anxiety might negatively impact ur relationship worse than pimples and scars

very well put.

Tdot, i can totally identify w/the self-consciousness thing too... but it's only when i meet new guys. boyfriends have actually never cared, and always tell me my skin isn't nearly as bad as i think it is. they always tell me (about the makeup), "you really don't need that shit." lol. in the end i definitely think it's more about how we process the problem (and as girls, tend to internalize to an incredibly unhealthy degree) than the problem itself. :)

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I totally understand how you are feeling, just try and remember that this too shall pass, and be glad that your skin has cleared up as much as it has ;) You have to remember that when your boyfriend or whoever else looks at you they are not seeing that scar on your cheek or that pimple on your chin, they are seeing YOU, and if this guy is your boyfriend he obviously already LIKES YOU so there is no reason to be self conscious because of him! It sounds like you might have low self esteem, which is something I am trying to work on myself, and I know all too well how much of a toll that can take on your relationships and overall quality of life. I understand not wanting to tell your boyfriend how you feel, and honestly I don't think you should tell him right now because you are not ready to. Just enjoy your time with him and have fun when you are together and try not to let the negative thoughts creep in. No one enters a relationship and points out all their flaws or problems immediately, and believe me everyone has them. It does sound like you need to talk to someone though, and you might want to consider a therapist. Don't let it make you feel crazy or weird to reach out for help, most people do or should seek help at some point in their lives. Life is hard - it's scary, sad, hurtful, and wonderful all at once, you just gotta focus on the good. Sometimes when I sit down and talk about the things I am worried about I realize that I am taking myself too seriously and becoming stuck in a negative way of thinking and that ends up tainting even the good things in my life. Sorry for rambling, your post just really struck a nerve with me because I have been there many times in my life but I believe you can change your way of thinking and enjoy your life again!

easy dump him get with me me we can both be crazy nutcases together. Or you can relax and live you life normally and dont let acne bring you down.

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There is no use in worrying about these things! You can't live in fear of another breakout, or of a breakup, or anything else that you are afraid might happen in the future. Look, the guy obviously likes you or he never would have been with you in the first place, so there's no reason to think you're not good enough for him. I can't say he's not going to dump you because he might, but there is ALWAYS that possibility, no matter who you are with you do not know what tomorrow will bring - you might even get sick of him in a month and end up dumping him instead! The thing is, you gotta start to accept that that is OK, and that right now things are good, and that even if it all crashes down around you tomorrow at least you can say you enjoyed it while you could. If you continue to let your worries run your life you won't even have those good memories to look back on and smile when things really do get rough. Bad things are going to happen to you sometimes, boys will break your heart, friends will stab you in the back, and you might wake up to a huge zit tomorrow, but what good does it do to dwell on these things now, especially when they might not even happen?

You are right, I know I have to stop living in fear, I need to be happy... and sometimes I am because I am very grateful for my family and friends and my life... but WHY is it SO hard to be happy sometimes? I HAVE to stop thinkign about what's going to happen in a week and just focus on what's going on at the moment. Thanks for your advice. :)

i very much understand your self-concious-around-boyfriend stuff. i used to get the same thing!! very dangerous bullshit. it would literally drive me awol. crying etc.. the problem is it can bring up all ur other insecurities, like u were saying to rsf body weight (im also really skinny with no boobs although i have no idea why) skin jealousy of other girls etc.... alert:pandora's box here!! close that bitch!! spark was saying some very smart things about u should not worry about what could happen cuz u dont know!! with time i managed to chill around my boyfriend, not wear make up in front of him etc... and now hes my husband! :surprised: acne does not always send them packing. your fear and anxiety might negatively impact ur relationship worse than pimples and scars

Hahah pandora's boxy indeed! I get SO jealous of other girls' skin and bodies ALL THE TIME!! it drives me nuts!! Good on ya for being so comfy around your boyfriend... I am so scared to show mine my naked face :(

i very much understand your self-concious-around-boyfriend stuff. i used to get the same thing!! very dangerous bullshit. it would literally drive me awol. crying etc.. the problem is it can bring up all ur other insecurities, like u were saying to rsf body weight (im also really skinny with no boobs although i have no idea why) skin jealousy of other girls etc.... alert:pandora's box here!! close that bitch!! spark was saying some very smart things about u should not worry about what could happen cuz u dont know!! with time i managed to chill around my boyfriend, not wear make up in front of him etc... and now hes my husband! :surprised: acne does not always send them packing. your fear and anxiety might negatively impact ur relationship worse than pimples and scars

very well put.

Tdot, i can totally identify w/the self-consciousness thing too... but it's only when i meet new guys. boyfriends have actually never cared, and always tell me my skin isn't nearly as bad as i think it is. they always tell me (about the makeup), "you really don't need that shit." lol. in the end i definitely think it's more about how we process the problem (and as girls, tend to internalize to an incredibly unhealthy degree) than the problem itself. :)

It really is unhealthy sometimes how us girls feel about ourselves... there's so much pressure to be beautiful...

I totally understand how you are feeling, just try and remember that this too shall pass, and be glad that your skin has cleared up as much as it has ;) You have to remember that when your boyfriend or whoever else looks at you they are not seeing that scar on your cheek or that pimple on your chin, they are seeing YOU, and if this guy is your boyfriend he obviously already LIKES YOU so there is no reason to be self conscious because of him! It sounds like you might have low self esteem, which is something I am trying to work on myself, and I know all too well how much of a toll that can take on your relationships and overall quality of life. I understand not wanting to tell your boyfriend how you feel, and honestly I don't think you should tell him right now because you are not ready to. Just enjoy your time with him and have fun when you are together and try not to let the negative thoughts creep in. No one enters a relationship and points out all their flaws or problems immediately, and believe me everyone has them. It does sound like you need to talk to someone though, and you might want to consider a therapist. Don't let it make you feel crazy or weird to reach out for help, most people do or should seek help at some point in their lives. Life is hard - it's scary, sad, hurtful, and wonderful all at once, you just gotta focus on the good. Sometimes when I sit down and talk about the things I am worried about I realize that I am taking myself too seriously and becoming stuck in a negative way of thinking and that ends up tainting even the good things in my life. Sorry for rambling, your post just really struck a nerve with me because I have been there many times in my life but I believe you can change your way of thinking and enjoy your life again!

easy dump him get with me me we can both be crazy nutcases together. Or you can relax and live you life normally and dont let acne bring you down.

HAHAHAH that made me laugh... thanks :)

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EVERYTHING in your original post was my exact same position this time last year. I lost the only guy i ever had real butterflies for (i broke it due to my skin issues)

i have thought about him everyday for over a year.

If you are serious about this guy give your skin time, make an action plan and just bide through it untill things improve. You will still have your guy and better skin in time.

I bet many girls are jealous of your body!!! I've got shakira's body except with huge boobs and i would KILL to be a kate moss but i'm trying to eat so many things that are good for my skin that'll never happen lol It's a case of what i want more.

Use you assets and flaunt them, skinny jeans were made for girls like you i bet you look fab!! If i see a girl like you i'm too busy staring at their great butt and legs to care if they have bad skin (though hey it makes me feel slightly better i'll admit :shhh: )

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EVERYTHING in your original post was my exact same position this time last year. I lost the only guy i ever had real butterflies for (i broke it due to my skin issues)

i have thought about him everyday for over a year.

If you are serious about this guy give your skin time, make an action plan and just bide through it untill things improve. You will still have your guy and better skin in time.

I bet many girls are jealous of your body!!! I've got shakira's body except with huge boobs and i would KILL to be a kate moss but i'm trying to eat so many things that are good for my skin that'll never happen lol It's a case of what i want more.

Use you assets and flaunt them, skinny jeans were made for girls like you i bet you look fab!! If i see a girl like you i'm too busy staring at their great butt and legs to care if they have bad skin (though hey it makes me feel slightly better i'll admit :shhh: )

AH!!I want YOUR body hahaha... I would LOVE to be a sexy curvy chicka :wub:

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Awe, sweety I feel for you. I'm really self conscious myself and I struggle with self esteem. I have this vision of what I should look like or what beautiful is, and I don't look like that. Not just with my skin, but also with my body too. I'm tall and VERY thin with really small boobs. I get upset thinking that guys won't like my because of that. I know I have to get over it, but it's really hard. I'm also really scared to let guys get too close to me because I think that they don't want to have a girlfriend like me with acne. I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not alone!

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Awe, sweety I feel for you. I'm really self conscious myself and I struggle with self esteem. I have this vision of what I should look like or what beautiful is, and I don't look like that. Not just with my skin, but also with my body too. I'm tall and VERY thin with really small boobs. I get upset thinking that guys won't like my because of that. I know I have to get over it, but it's really hard. I'm also really scared to let guys get too close to me because I think that they don't want to have a girlfriend like me with acne. I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not alone!

Yeah :( it's really hard for me to even let him touch me, because I feel so boney and gross... he says he likes my body, but I just dont understand why I guess... I'm sorry you feel self concious too... gawd it's so hard to be a woman in the world.

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Awe, sweety I feel for you. I'm really self conscious myself and I struggle with self esteem. I have this vision of what I should look like or what beautiful is, and I don't look like that. Not just with my skin, but also with my body too. I'm tall and VERY thin with really small boobs. I get upset thinking that guys won't like my because of that. I know I have to get over it, but it's really hard. I'm also really scared to let guys get too close to me because I think that they don't want to have a girlfriend like me with acne. I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not alone!

Yeah :( it's really hard for me to even let him touch me, because I feel so boney and gross... he says he likes my body, but I just dont understand why I guess... I'm sorry you feel self concious too... gawd it's so hard to be a woman in the world.

tdot, if you want to gain weight healthfully, while still watching what u eat, why don't you try eating more good starches/carbs like sweet potato, squash, brown rice, and also more good fats like avocados?

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Awe, sweety I feel for you. I'm really self conscious myself and I struggle with self esteem. I have this vision of what I should look like or what beautiful is, and I don't look like that. Not just with my skin, but also with my body too. I'm tall and VERY thin with really small boobs. I get upset thinking that guys won't like my because of that. I know I have to get over it, but it's really hard. I'm also really scared to let guys get too close to me because I think that they don't want to have a girlfriend like me with acne. I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not alone!

Yeah :( it's really hard for me to even let him touch me, because I feel so boney and gross... he says he likes my body, but I just dont understand why I guess... I'm sorry you feel self concious too... gawd it's so hard to be a woman in the world.

tdot, if you want to gain weight healthfully, while still watching what u eat, why don't you try eating more good starches/carbs like sweet potato, squash, brown rice, and also more good fats like avocados?

Thanks that was really helpful :)

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Awe, sweety I feel for you. I'm really self conscious myself and I struggle with self esteem. I have this vision of what I should look like or what beautiful is, and I don't look like that. Not just with my skin, but also with my body too. I'm tall and VERY thin with really small boobs. I get upset thinking that guys won't like my because of that. I know I have to get over it, but it's really hard. I'm also really scared to let guys get too close to me because I think that they don't want to have a girlfriend like me with acne. I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not alone!

Yeah :( it's really hard for me to even let him touch me, because I feel so boney and gross... he says he likes my body, but I just dont understand why I guess... I'm sorry you feel self concious too... gawd it's so hard to be a woman in the world.

tdot, if you want to gain weight healthfully, while still watching what u eat, why don't you try eating more good starches/carbs like sweet potato, squash, brown rice, and also more good fats like avocados?

Thanks that was really helpful :)

np =) theres lots of options out there. high-calorie yet nutrient dense foods also include salad dressings made with olive oil, nuts and seeds (try almond butter, yum!), fatty fish (salmon etc), peas and corn. just google search it, there's lots of info out there on the web of how to healthfully gain weight while avoiding dairy, sugar, and excessive wheat. also, u can always just eat more!

i find it important to embrace ur body shape no matter what (trust me i struggled too being tall and slim and not very curvy). for the record, i bet the skinny jeans look would looks great on a frame like urs!

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