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I wasn't going to start one of these until I actually started Accutane, but I am finding that even the waiting period before Accutane sucks and I just needed to get this all out.

So please feel free to ignore this, it's really for me anyway.

A little history:

I had very mild acne starting in high school. A few pimples here, one over there, easy to cover with makeup, but I did have some mild scarring (just red marks that took a while to go away, no depressions). I do remember a time when it got bad enough that I felt the need to try Murad and then Proactiv. I thought that Proactiv would be my miracle, and it was for a little while.

I got to college and thought that I had out grown my acne. I was off Proactiv (mostly for financial reasons) and using just salicylic acid occasionally to maintain smooth skin along with a little powder to cover the few remaining red spots.

I went through most of summer with pretty good skin, and then at the end of August my skin decided to breakout into awful and most importantly PAINFUL acne. I thought that going back on Proactiv and just really taking care of my skin would help, but it just didn't. My mom saw me after a little while and said (oh so sweetly) "Your skin looks so bad. You should go to dermatologist when you get back to school and see if you can try Accutane." Quite honestly I was in shock, my mom is not usually the type of person to suggest I go to a doctor and then go on meds that will cost her money.

However, I made an appointment and went to see the dermatologist last Friday. I had this whole speech planned, about everything I had gone through. The millions of products, how I hated leaving the house and couldn't stand the full face of makeup I could no longer live without. I got through "It just blew up a few months ago and it really hurts..." and I was hearing "Well you have cystic acne..." (A bit of a shock since I didn't think my skin was actually that bad) "And our best chance of treating it is agressively. The best thing we have at our disposal is Accutane." I was ecstatic. And after going through all the side effects and restrictions together, I left with a few prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, and a topical (to help calm things down while I wait for a month) and a binder with more information about not getting pregnant and birth control than my health class had given me.

I am just one month away from taking my first Accutane pill.

My big concern now, is having support from the people I love.

Almost everyone I've told has been super supportive and happy for me. This has really been affecting me and I'm just not myself anymore. I hate it, I hate that I've gotten this way.

I told a friend of mine that I was thinking about Accutane before my derm appointment. She told me a lot of really scary shit and very much did not approve of me starting tane. I assured her that I would ask lots of questions and do my research before deciding anything. I did and after the derm saying that Accutane should be the first choice with out any prodding, I was really comfortable. Then I told that same friend today that I was starting in a month. Her response: "You probably shouldn't tell me these things because I have lost some respect for you...." I was shocked and told her that I just wished she could understand and she said, "Nope there are some things that I just can't comprehend, and this is one of them... sorry."

Now I am devastated. This girl is one of my best friends and I cannot comprehend her utter disapproval. This is killing me. Do I choose to do something that I really feel will help me, not just on the outside, not just with appearances, or do I choose to keep the respect of one of my best friends. All this just makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. That I am being a silly vain little girl. Am I copping out? Taking the easy route, just to avoid a little work. Should this not be an option for me? I have no idea...

If you managed to read this, I applaud you. And regardless of a comment, you are awesome and I thank you.

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Best of luck to you! I know what it's like to have painful acne...my friends wouldn't understand that its not an issue of VANITY, it's about my damn face being sore and throbbing.

Most of my friends don't "get it", but there are plenty of people here that do. I've found that most of the members here are very helpful and insightful and also a real blessing to help get through the tough times.

If you need positive words or questions, feel free to PM me :)

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I'm so sorry that one of your friends reacted that way but don't for one second think that you've done something wrong by choosing to go on accutane. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand that acne not only afffects you physically but also psychologically. Bottom line is that you need to do what's best for YOU.

Feel free to take it or leave it, but my advice would be to not try and convince her why you need to take accutane, that it's not as dangerous as she may think, etc. Luckily, it sounds like you have others that you can turn to for support. The site is also a great place for support and information so you definitely won't be alone during your accutane journey - it's like having a great big 'tane family :) Take care and best of luck! :)

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soory to say this but she doesnt sound like a very good friend...she should respect what your doing and support you...well thats what i think personally anyway. I think you should definatly give the accutane a try...you have to do whats best for you not anyone else because in the end its you thats suffering from this and not your friend by the sounds of things, so she really wouldnt know what your going through and how bad you really feel! so i say do it for you :D best of luck!!!

XxOoxX

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I wasn't going to start one of these until I actually started Accutane, but I am finding that even the waiting period before Accutane sucks and I just needed to get this all out.

So please feel free to ignore this, it's really for me anyway.

A little history:

I had very mild acne starting in high school. A few pimples here, one over there, easy to cover with makeup, but I did have some mild scarring (just red marks that took a while to go away, no depressions). I do remember a time when it got bad enough that I felt the need to try Murad and then Proactiv. I thought that Proactiv would be my miracle, and it was for a little while.

I got to college and thought that I had out grown my acne. I was off Proactiv (mostly for financial reasons) and using just salicylic acid occasionally to maintain smooth skin along with a little powder to cover the few remaining red spots.

I went through most of summer with pretty good skin, and then at the end of August my skin decided to breakout into awful and most importantly PAINFUL acne. I thought that going back on Proactiv and just really taking care of my skin would help, but it just didn't. My mom saw me after a little while and said (oh so sweetly) "Your skin looks so bad. You should go to dermatologist when you get back to school and see if you can try Accutane." Quite honestly I was in shock, my mom is not usually the type of person to suggest I go to a doctor and then go on meds that will cost her money.

However, I made an appointment and went to see the dermatologist last Friday. I had this whole speech planned, about everything I had gone through. The millions of products, how I hated leaving the house and couldn't stand the full face of makeup I could no longer live without. I got through "It just blew up a few months ago and it really hurts..." and I was hearing "Well you have cystic acne..." (A bit of a shock since I didn't think my skin was actually that bad) "And our best chance of treating it is agressively. The best thing we have at our disposal is Accutane." I was ecstatic. And after going through all the side effects and restrictions together, I left with a few prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, and a topical (to help calm things down while I wait for a month) and a binder with more information about not getting pregnant and birth control than my health class had given me.

I am just one month away from taking my first Accutane pill.

My big concern now, is having support from the people I love.

Almost everyone I've told has been super supportive and happy for me. This has really been affecting me and I'm just not myself anymore. I hate it, I hate that I've gotten this way.

I told a friend of mine that I was thinking about Accutane before my derm appointment. She told me a lot of really scary shit and very much did not approve of me starting tane. I assured her that I would ask lots of questions and do my research before deciding anything. I did and after the derm saying that Accutane should be the first choice with out any prodding, I was really comfortable. Then I told that same friend today that I was starting in a month. Her response: "You probably shouldn't tell me these things because I have lost some respect for you...." I was shocked and told her that I just wished she could understand and she said, "Nope there are some things that I just can't comprehend, and this is one of them... sorry."

Now I am devastated. This girl is one of my best friends and I cannot comprehend her utter disapproval. This is killing me. Do I choose to do something that I really feel will help me, not just on the outside, not just with appearances, or do I choose to keep the respect of one of my best friends. All this just makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. That I am being a silly vain little girl. Am I copping out? Taking the easy route, just to avoid a little work. Should this not be an option for me? I have no idea...

If you managed to read this, I applaud you. And regardless of a comment, you are awesome and I thank you.

i really hope accutane works for you. i will be going on accutane in a couple months or so if this ortho tricyclen birth control pill i'm taking doesn't work for my acne. i don't even know WHY i'm saying "if." but anyway, your friend is CRAP. i'm sorry, but i'm being blunt. i don't know her but she sounds like a crappy friend if she can't respect your decisions for yourself. this has nothing to do with you disrespecting her, this has everything to do with HER DISRESPECTING YOU. let me guess. she doesn't have a problem with cystic acne, does she. accutane is a big step in a person's life, and it's a brave one. and i do think it's necessary... i just have to say congratulations for making this decision for yourself. you will do just fine on this pill, just stay strong!!!

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Good luck, I hope it works for you. I've only told 2 of my friends about taking accutane and both of them told me not to, I guess people without acne just don't understand what it's like.

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Y'all are SO sweet! Thank you so much for your support and everything. I really appreciate it. I'm hoping I can get through this with as little damage as possible! haha...

Best of luck to you! I know what it's like to have painful acne...my friends wouldn't understand that its not an issue of VANITY, it's about my damn face being sore and throbbing.

Most of my friends don't "get it", but there are plenty of people here that do. I've found that most of the members here are very helpful and insightful and also a real blessing to help get through the tough times.

If you need positive words or questions, feel free to PM me :)

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Well I understand how long that waiting period can be... plus when I had insurance/doctor issues that made my wait longer. :(

Now on day 3, my acne hardly bothers me. I'm just looking forward to the future (and hoping it works for me!).

I understand what you mean about unsupportive friends... I told my boyfriend about accutane and his response to my insurance covering it was "why should other people pay for your zits?". he still doesn't support me. I guess people don't understand how important this is. I guess I just want to be normal, and not have to wear makeup all the time.

Best wishes to you!

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Well I understand how long that waiting period can be... plus when I had insurance/doctor issues that made my wait longer. :(

Now on day 3, my acne hardly bothers me. I'm just looking forward to the future (and hoping it works for me!).

I understand what you mean about unsupportive friends... I told my boyfriend about accutane and his response to my insurance covering it was "why should other people pay for your zits?". he still doesn't support me. I guess people don't understand how important this is. I guess I just want to be normal, and not have to wear makeup all the time.

Best wishes to you!

OMG, I know what you mean about not having too bad of skin...and then all of a sudden your face exploding with acne and people close to you wondering what happened all of a sudden!!! That is what happened to me! If your friend doesn't support you, then she honestly doesn't sound like a very good friend. I have been on amnesteen (generic accutane) since Oct 17 and have not had too many (just mild) side effects....except for BREAKING OUT WORSE THAN EVER...but I am trying to be hopeful that it will start clearing soon... :pray:

Good luck to you!!!!!!

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flowerburn: Yeah waiting has just been awful. Mostly because now I think about my skin more than ever. But I only have like two weeks left to wait!!! I can't believe that your boyfriend would say that to you! But I've come to the conclusion that for people who aren't on it or need it, it's just a hard concept to understand. But when you spend hours analyzing your face everyday, and you can't just get up and leave the house without making sure your makeup is perfect, then it's not just about a couple of zits anymore. I live for the day when I don't have to wear makeup anymore :dance:

31suddenacne: It was so crazy! I transferred schools, so no one has really seen me yet, but when my family saw me they were shocked. and the fact that someone would say something ade me realize just how bad it was. I'm so sorry about the breakouts. I'm praying :pray: that my course isn't too bad. Already I hate leaving y house, and if I'm going to look worse... I don't realy know how I'd take it. I just keep telling myself that it's just 6 months, and then I don't have to deal with any of it anymore, hopefully ;)

Thanks everyone for your support!

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YAY!!! I start Accutane tomorrow!!! :dance:

I'm so excited and scared and I just really hope that this works for me. Reading posts on here half the time makes me optimistic and half the time makes me want to just forget the whole thing :think: haha.

I just have to keep reminding myself to just give it a chance. My skin has already calmed down so much from the Prednisone and Doxyl. And luckily my derm has agreed to give me another course of Prednisone to stave off any IB I might get.

Alright well... Wish me luck for tomorrow. I'm just praying that there aren't any crazy complications to make me have to wait longer. I'm over the waiting, I'm ready, bring it on :box:

love.

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YAY!!! I start Accutane tomorrow!!! :dance:

I'm so excited and scared and I just really hope that this works for me. Reading posts on here half the time makes me optimistic and half the time makes me want to just forget the whole thing :think: haha.

I just have to keep reminding myself to just give it a chance. My skin has already calmed down so much from the Prednisone and Doxyl. And luckily my derm has agreed to give me another course of Prednisone to stave off any IB I might get.

Alright well... Wish me luck for tomorrow. I'm just praying that there aren't any crazy complications to make me have to wait longer. I'm over the waiting, I'm ready, bring it on :box:

love.

Best wishes to you!

Keep us all updated. My first few days I couldn't stay away from this site, I was so excited. I guess I still am.

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Thanks flowerburn I know... This site is ridiculously addicting, almost worse than facebook/myspace haha.

DAY 1

YAY! I took my first pill with dinner tonight around 7pm (40mg Amnesteem). Obviously nothing's going on yet except excitement... :gimme:

Right now my skin is doing a lot better than it was when I first went to the derm, the prednisone/doxyl helped to calm things down a little, but obviously they didn't help anywhere near as much as I would like. I have a few little pimples most are already in the process of going away, four cysts two on each side of my face, a lot of those weird skin colored bumps along and underneath my jawline, and some areas where old stuff is healing (basically really dry patches). On my back I have a couple of actives, weird because I haven't had problems with anything other than my face in a while... :wall:

Accutane is going to fix all of this. I'm not even going to bother with *hoping* IT IS GOING TO WORK DAMNIT.

I'm just hoping that seeing my family over winter break doesn't stress me out so much that I break out. My family and I, no wait, my mother and I, DO NOT get along. But luckily the rest of my treatment I will be at school and away from her.

My cousin is actually starting Accutane today as well, so I'm happy to have someone I can call when weird shit starts happening, haha.

OK then, I need to get off of here. I don't know that I'll be updating every day, I want to think about my skin as little as possible, but I will keep you updated.

love.

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DAY 6

Still not much to report, which I suppose is both good and bad... No icky side effects, but I still have to wait around for SOMETHING to happen so that I know that SOMETHING is going on and that there's a possibility that this is actually working. But it will work, it WILL.

love.

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DAY 10

OK, so my lips are definitely dry. I have this little tub of Vaseline that I carry around everywhere, and I am relatively sure that I am going to need to go to Costco soon and get myself a 30 gallon vat of it :blink: No other dryness really, except for my nose and/or throat sometimes, but I think I'm also getting a cold so it's hard to tell... :think:

BUT, I'm still SO f-ing OILY. My t-zone is ridiculous!!! :wall: GODDAMN!!! GO AWAY!!!!!!!!! :xxx:

Still kinda breaking out. My cysts are weird, they kind of cycle and get more inflamed and then less and then more... Sometimes they go away, sometimes they don't. But no more little stuff, so I suppose that's nice. I'm praying that I have passed the mark for the IB :pray: I definitely haven't gotten any worse that when I started.

I guess all in all everything is going well. :cool:

love.

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Unfortunately, I would expect an IB to start around day 30...I just dont want you to get upset when it happens. Cheers!

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Spott: No worries... I know that I'm definitely not out of the woods as far as an IB goes... I would actually rather have one later, a month would be perfect, if I'm going to have one at all. I'm home right now... Seeing people I haven't seen in forever and won't see for a while, and I'd rather them see someone who isn't COVERED in horrible cysts etc. I didn't start breaking like this until after I left for school, so I'd rather that no one at home ever had to see me at my worst. :doubt:

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DAY 17

THE OIL IS FINALLY GONE!!!!!!!!! :dance::clap::thumbsup:

Still kinda sorta breaking out, but not really. I just have some lingering cysts and places where old ones that I messed with have left dry/irritated areas.

The dryness is definitely managable so far, with one exception... The whole dry girl area thing, SO NOTcool!!! I went to see this guy I've been on and off with for a while and it was for sure a problem. I had no idea what to do so I just kind of kept my mouth shut, which I think only made things more akward... I very sincerely hope that that is one thing that will not get any worse :pray:

love.

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DAY 17

THE OIL IS FINALLY GONE!!!!!!!!! :dance::clap::thumbsup:

Still kinda sorta breaking out, but not really. I just have some lingering cysts and places where old ones that I messed with have left dry/irritated areas.

The dryness is definitely managable so far, with one exception... The whole dry girl area thing, SO NOTcool!!! I went to see this guy I've been on and off with for a while and it was for sure a problem. I had no idea what to do so I just kind of kept my mouth shut, which I think only made things more akward... I very sincerely hope that that is one thing that will not get any worse :pray:

love.

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