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GiftedPuma

Just a guy who is forever scarred (physically and emotionally) and will never find a nice, decent guy who doesn't care about my scars.

I feel like I'm never gonna find someone who cares for me and not so superficial that the scars on my face will keep me from a date. I hate my face and hate to even look in a mirror, especially in daylight! My scars are so ugly. I always find myself looking for certain shallow lighting, or certain angles, or anything that will make my scars less noticeable. But I can't hide, they are there and will always be there. I can't afford any expensive procedures, so I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal on the psychological, physical, or emotional aspects of acne scars? I am a 27 year old gay male and feel like I'm all alone and that everyone around me just has perfect skin. The gay community tends to be superficial so that makes things worse for me because all guys tend to care about is youth and beauty, which I don't have any beauty and the youth is running out! I feel like if I don't find a guy by age 30, I'll forever be alone. Maybe I'm just super depressed and that's why I'm saying this, but any advice would help. Thanks! Erik

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Yeah acne scars are a bitch for sure. If u dont have the money for anything really expensive then there are still options. U can do the at home microdermabrasion. The trick to doing those is to wait until the face is uncomfortable and a bit red. U should peel over the next couple of days. After several of these u will start to treat the acne scars, which on u look pretty minor. Also there is acne free scar eraser that can be purchased at almost every store that sales beauty supplies.

U can check out my gallery if u want to see how these products did for my skin.

oh yeah there are many good makeup options from Neutrogena. I use concealer on my face and nobody can tell I have anything on.

Go to the scars forum as that is full of members that have done treatments and know a lot.

Good luck Erik

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Guest blackheadben

Hi! I am a 17 year old gay guy, too. I know what it is like to feel ugly compared to other gay guys. They do all seem to have great skin. I heard someone say once "why do gay guys have such good skin?" It was in Target and they were to woman on the skincare aisle. I said ,"excuse me, I am gay and have crappy skin." Lol, it was kinda funny in retrospect. :):)

What I am trying to say is, don't worry. If you just try hard enough, Mr. right is out there somewhere. We are all not superficial. Think about it this way, would you rather have perfect skin and a guy only like you cause you were hot, or would you like a guy to LOVE you for just the way you are? I am only in my first relationship and it is long distance, so I am not an expert or anything, BUT, an online community is a good idea. You could find someone and tell them you have scars. Most likley, they would still like you, most people aren't that vain. just keep looking.

In conclusion, just try. Mr. Right is somewhere out there and he is looking for you too. Just don't give up. If you give up, you'll never find him! Hope my rambling helped!

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Ha, I'm another gay male putting in his input.

I feel that there is somebody out there for all of us. Call me a stupid optimist, but hey, I am what I am.

I think you look good. If you're going to let yourself feel down about how other people may feel about you, you'll just continue to feel the same way. I mean, come on, you don't want to spend any time with superficial guys, do you?

The gay community can be annoying, plain and simple. At least the people that let their sexuality define who they are. It's lame and pointless.

I don't see the need for a "community", anyway. I think it's weird.

I think if you step out of that shallow setting, someone right will come along. It may take time, but what good things don't?

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the gay community does tend to be superficial, but not everyone! Im sure there are plenty of guys who wouldnt think twice about your scars, honestly.

"The gay community can be annoying, plain and simple. At least the people that let their sexuality define who they are. It's lame and pointless."

:clap: here here!

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Guest blackheadben

I am not superficial. I mean, my boyfriend is like the cutest guy on the planet, but I would still love him if he was butt ugly. Why? Because more than anything, he is a good, sweet, caring guy. In fact, I really don't care what guys look like as long as they aren't shorter than me (I am 5'10" and like guys taller than me). Other than that, looks aren't the most important thing. Seriously, personality always will when you a good guy. Looks? they can only get you so far.

BTW, you are so much better looking than you're giving yourself credit for :)

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I feel like I'm never gonna find someone who cares for me and not so superficial that the scars on my face will keep me from a date. I hate my face and hate to even look in a mirror, especially in daylight! My scars are so ugly. I always find myself looking for certain shallow lighting, or certain angles, or anything that will make my scars less noticeable. But I can't hide, they are there and will always be there. I can't afford any expensive procedures, so I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal on the psychological, physical, or emotional aspects of acne scars? I am a 27 year old gay male and feel like I'm all alone and that everyone around me just has perfect skin. The gay community tends to be superficial so that makes things worse for me because all guys tend to care about is youth and beauty, which I don't have any beauty and the youth is running out! I feel like if I don't find a guy by age 30, I'll forever be alone. Maybe I'm just super depressed and that's why I'm saying this, but any advice would help. Thanks! Erik

Hey I just wanted to say that people arent as superficial as you think. I will give you a funny, weird sort of example. I have a gay friend who has all sorts of health problems, plus he has acne and scarring, and despite these issues he seriuously gets the most #SS I have ever seen someone get, straight or gay LOL. He always has a boyfriend. I think the reason for this is that he has confidence, omg and he can be pretty arrogant as well. I find him hillarious. I guess what I'm trying to say is people who appear confident are more approachable. I feel liek everyone around me has clear skin too, but man I guess we just gotta deal with it :( unfortunately.

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you'll find someone that won't care about your scars, and will love you. there is a ton of good advice here on the boards for info on scars. and honestly, i can barely even tell you have scars! i probably wouldnt have even noticed the scars if i saw you in real life! :)

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i totally agree w/ tdot! i think a little confidence and a big smile can go a long way. i think that everyone thinks worse of their complexion than others do. so when you see those pictures of yourself or look in the mirror that's all you notice, but seriously it's not nearly as bad as you think it is from an outsider looking in's perspective. so chin up...and try not to focus on it too much, if you're able to do that you'll find yourself thinking about it less and less.

and if you find someone that's actually good for you...it won't matter to him. i had a horrible acne flare up earlier this summer, but my boyfriend tells me i'm beautiful all the time. the acne (and acne scars) don't matter to ppl that care about you.

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your scars arnt that bad mate, you need to surround yourself with nice people like family that will make you happy and raise your self esteem. i also listen to music i really enjoy when im feeling sad that will also make you happy, best wishes!

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ummm....those scars are really not that bad.i think your looking too much into this.in the future, you can fix them, but there not really that horrible that you could not find partners if you never fixed them.

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I feel like I'm never gonna find someone who cares for me and not so superficial that the scars on my face will keep me from a date. I hate my face and hate to even look in a mirror, especially in daylight! My scars are so ugly. I always find myself looking for certain shallow lighting, or certain angles, or anything that will make my scars less noticeable. But I can't hide, they are there and will always be there. I can't afford any expensive procedures, so I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal on the psychological, physical, or emotional aspects of acne scars? I am a 27 year old gay male and feel like I'm all alone and that everyone around me just has perfect skin. The gay community tends to be superficial so that makes things worse for me because all guys tend to care about is youth and beauty, which I don't have any beauty and the youth is running out! I feel like if I don't find a guy by age 30, I'll forever be alone. Maybe I'm just super depressed and that's why I'm saying this, but any advice would help. Thanks! Erik

you look fine.

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Guest Michael Jackson

The topic title looks wierd, looks like your looking for a nice guy lol homo or something?

indeed this man is a homosexual, no need to be immature

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Have you used retin A? it may not help with the deep scars but it will even out your skin and make it a lot smoother, it may help a little.

seriously though your scarring is not that bad, most people probably wouldn't notice it unless you pointed it out. I'm sure you will find someone who doesn't care about your scars, I really don't believe that most people are that shallow.

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My doc, a plastic surgeon, put me on Retin-A for my scarring even though I was willing to do something way more drastic than that. So I was a little dissapointed when that is what he perscribed me. Anyway, it has taken 9 weeks but I am finally noticing some improvement. And the tub wasn't very expensive compared to other options. I doubt it will fix it completely but it is helping with the shallow scarring, redness and minimizing pores. I have no active acne but I have a lot of noticable scarring. I also massage my scars once or twice a day. Massaging does not cost any money! Ask me if you want details on how I do it.

I understand what you are going through. My scars have got me down plenty of times. I am so aware of them all the time and I hold back on many life experiences because of them. I used to love being single because it just meant plenty of dating and doing what I want when I want (having a partner can be a little restrictive) but now with my scarring I hide at home, even when I wish I was out.

It sounds kind of dumb but this year I have declared war on my scars! I am not going to let them beat me and I am going to find a way to if not get rid of them, then at least minimise them. And get my confidence back. I like how you are approaching this issue wholisticly and I believe this will encourage a greater success. This website will help a lot with finding treatment options IMO.

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Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to say thank you for your encouragement and tips on how to deal with the scars. I'm just gonna try to move on from it, I guess. I mean, yes, I'll do whatever I can in my power to make them look better, but I'm not gonna let them destroy my life because that WILL prevent me from meeting friends or a significant other. You guys have all been great on this and I'm so glad I found this website yesterday. it is helpful that I now I don't feel so alone in this and there are others who are going through the same thing.

Thanks! :)

Erik from Chattanooga, TN

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That would be nice have to have something like acne treatments in common with your partner. But look theres so many people with acne. You will find someone. Just do your treatment and dont think about anything else.

Ive seen some some really pretty girls even on here that have acne. And in highschool most the girls had acne.

Self Control Is Everyones strongest weapon. Dont beat yourself up. Your still young and will be able to take care of acne scars if you work for it.

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I got a comment that maybe the pics didn't show the scars that well. Maybe that's the case because in the bathroom light, they look really bad, like when any type of light is looking down on my face, you can see several pitted marks on my cheeks. I found these two pictures, they are more recent, but I don't know if they show the scars well enough either, but it is a little more obvious so you guys and girls can get an idea of what I'm talking about. I thought about OTC microdermibrasion, but everyone seems to think that is pretty limited in what it can do. I also thought about Mederma? I heard it is bad for ice pick scars because they make them appear even deeper. I thought about makeup, too. How can makeup make scars look better. It would seem that the pitted marks would still be just as obvious because the makeup would just go into the pitted scars instead of filling it. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Erik

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